The Lengths We Go For Love
by nicollete crescente
Summary: Serena Johnson never believed in love at first sight until the day she laid eyes on Darien Shields. Suddenly her play-it-safe life is turned upside down as she decides not to look back on their chance encounter and ask "what if" Can she don the perfect
1. Chapter 1

This is a little story I was inspired to write after reading Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night" and "As You Like It." If anyone has read them, you'll get some idea of where this story might be going.

"Mina, do you have an extra scrunchie handy? I need one for work," I explained as I charged through the door of her bedroom.

She rolled her eyes from her reclined position on the bed, and took her cell phone from her ear.

"On the door--and thanks for knocking!" she said sarcastically.

I grinned at her and shrugged my shoulders. "No sweat! Listen, I won't get off until around nine-thirty, so tell Dad I won't be here for dinner. I'll see you later, okay?"

She sighed heavily and turned her eyes towards the door. Never one to miss the hint, I winked at her and left the room, pulling the door shut behind me. She had to be on the phone with Derek, the newest loser-boyfriend-of-the-month. I sighed, wishing my twin sister could meet someone nice for once.

I shut the front door and wrestled through my purse, desperate to find my keys. I sighed with relief as my fingers closed over my lucky bunny key chain, and I quickly made my way over to my car. I glanced at my watch and bit my lip in frustration. I could expect a lecture from Andrew when I got to work!

I growled low in my throat and jerked open the door of my car. Slipping in with practiced ease, I started the engine and pulled my hair into a messy bun while I waited for it to warm up. As I pulled out of the parking structure of my apartment complex, the noon-high sun blazed through my windshield and into my unadjusted corneas. I winced in pain, and tried to blink away the sunburst seared into my vision. I couldn't wait until winter. Living in a small corner of Vermont did have its advantages--but they were especially apparent during my favorite season. I loved winter, and a winter filled with snow-covered maples and beech woods was nothing short of magical. Too bad the weathermen were predicting an Indian summer this year.

Twenty minutes later I pulled into the back lot of The Comfort Café, a tiny restaurant/coffee shop I work at. I reached into my purse and pulled out my favorite necklace: a silver chain with a beautiful diamond-encrusted moon pendant. It was my mother's, and before she died, she told me to wear it everywhere so she would be with me always. I felt my eyes well up like they always do when I think of her, but I blinked back the tears and put it on.

I stepped out of the car quickly, reaching back inside for a moment to grab my apron. After slamming the door of my car shut, I headed toward the building, stopping to smell the just-blooming roses outside the café. I inhaled their scent deeply, taking in the slightly spicy sweetness of them. I was about to move on, when one of the flowers caught my eye. I inhaled sharply, taking in the quiet beauty of the rose. It was easily one of the most gorgeous things I had ever seen: lusciously red, no sign of wilting, smooth as silk. I couldn't resist leaning in to smell, reaching my hand gently under the back of the flower to pull it closer.

Then, without warning, the bud came off into my hand. I nearly dropped it, stunned. I had barely touched the thing! I leaned in close to examine the stem, but it was uncut! It was as if the flower had never been connected to the bush at all! I brought the flower to my nose and inhaled deeply. As I suspected, it was perfection, but I still couldn't shake the feeling that there was something very special about it…

Oh well, I thought as I tucked the mysterious rose into my pocket, determined to show Lita and Amy as soon as I got inside.

"Hey Serena!" Andrew called from the doorway, and I looked up, surprised. "It's four forty-five, you were supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago. Last I checked, that didn't give you time to stop and smell the roses." He grinned at his own joke, but winked to let me know I wasn't in too much trouble.

I sighed. I was late, but I suddenly didn't care. Today was special, I could feel it. I guess if I would have known how special, I might have been able to prepare myself for the months ahead… but for now, I was just Serena Johnson: a happy, healthy, seventeen-year-old girl. I grinned to myself, and headed for the back door of the café, ready for the daily grind.

When I entered the backroom, Andrew was leaning against the counter waiting for me. I gave him a smile, and he grinned back. Whew! So I wasn't in THAT much trouble!

"You're late," he said anyway, tossing a towel at me. I caught it deftly with my left hand, and headed over to the count-out machine to punch in.

"I know, I couldn't find my pants or my apron. Turns out Mina washed them for me, and of course the dryer was the last place I decided to look," I answered, smiling a little. I punched in quickly, and then turned back towards him, tying my apron around my waist at the same time. "Has it been busy?" I asked, pulling my hair into a neater ponytail.

"Naw, not really. Allen's been covering the register, and Lita's got section one today. I'm putting you in section two," Andrew said quickly, turning around before he could see my nose wrinkle in annoyance.

"Allen's working today?" I whined, fully aware that I sounded both mean and immature, but I couldn't help it! He had a humongous crush on me, and sometimes he made me uncomfortable. I usually did everything in my power not to work with him. Thanks to summer vacation and Andrew's careful scheduling, I hadn't seen the guy for almost three months. I wanted to keep it that way. "I thought Amy was working," I said, pouting.

"She called and told me she'd be a little late, so I asked Allen to stay longer." Andrew explained, then sighed. "Look Serena, I know you don't like Allen, but he's only here until Amy shows up, and I think you need to be a little more patient. He really likes you, and if I didn't see you as my surrogate sister, I would too. Cut him some slack, he's just a guy."

I sighed and nodded, knowing Andrew was the only person who could make me feel guilty about not wanting to run into a geek like Allen. I loved Andrew, and he was pretty much my older brother, but sometimes he was too nice for his own good. I shook my head and took off towards the plastic double-doors that lead into the restaurant. I had just passed through them when I almost collided with the subject of our previous conversation.

Be nice, I told myself, and I put on my best smile. "Hey Allen, how's it going?" I asked, trying to ignore the huge piece of vegetation jutting out of his braces.

"Oh, fine, I'm really good," he answered, giggling nervously. "I'm almost off though, I have an appointment with my orthodontist."

There was a brief silence, and in it's duration I smiled and tried to escape, but he quickly blocked my way. "So how about you?" He inquired. "Long time no see, you know?" He laughed a little bit, and I forced a smile onto my face.

"Okay, mostly working and getting ready for school. Senior year's coming up and it's never too early to start looking for colleges." I answered, keeping the conversation light.

"Yeah, college is definitely something to prepare for," Allen agreed.

A painfully uncomfortable silence ensued, and desperate to end it, I smiled and gently pushed past him. "Well," I said quickly, "I've got to get to work. Nice catching up with you!" I called over my shoulder. He nodded, and retreated to the backroom.

I bit my lip, hating myself for having to be so cold, but being nice to him had made the situation even worse. Allen and I used to be friends. I used to stick up for him a lot, hang out with him when no one else would, but he couldn't get it through his head that I wasn't interested. Finally I just had to stay away from him. As much as I hate being mean to someone, I couldn't let him hope for something that would never happen.

I shook my head and entered my section, grabbing the wrapped silverware from the takeout line on the way. I glanced over at Lita's section and noticed that it had begun to fill up, so I readied my tables quickly. I caught Lita's eyes from across the room, and she motioned for me to get the next party. I nodded and headed towards the front door. I opened it--totally ready to greet the party outside--when HE caught my eye.

Suddenly, I couldn't speak. My smile faded, my throat dried up, and every practiced salutation died on my lips. Before me was the most beautiful man I had ever seen! Silky black hair, deep blue eyes, chiseled features, and completely sensuous lips… He was tall--easily 6'2"--with broad shoulders and slim hips. He looked positively adorable in his white shirt and tie, and I took note of the blazer cast over one arm. He had to be from Madison, the private school upstate. My heart pounded in my chest as he smiled at me, and dimly I heard his friends laughing behind him.

"Geez Darien! We haven't been in town five minutes and already jaws are dropping!" One of his friends cracked.

I suddenly realized my mouth WAS wide open, and I promptly closed it, my cheeks heating up before I could stop them. The gorgeous guy (Darien?) flashed me an apologetic smile, and my knees turned to jelly. I had to serve this guy? I couldn't even open my mouth! I just stared at all of them, my mind completely blank. Their joking smiles quickly faded, and they began to shift around, looking very nervous.

Serena, snap out of it! My mind screamed. SAY SOMETHING! YOU LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE DORK!

Then, as if some wonderful angel had cast some merciful spell made for girls who couldn't function in the presence of completely gorgeous men, my mouth finally began to formulate words: "Hi! Welcome to the Comfort Café. My name is Serena and I'll be your server this evening!" I squeaked out. One of the boys, tall and handsome with silvery blonde hair and icy blue eyes, actually winced. Get a hold of yourself, I thought, closing my eyes.

I motioned for them to follow me and tried unsuccessfully to will my hands to stop shaking. My stomach was doing flip-flops, and my skin was literally tingling! What was the matter with me? It wasn't like I hadn't served good-looking guys before! But then again… I glanced back at the boy following me. None of them had ever looked like him before…

I managed to seat them without too much hassle, and I even managed to get their drink orders without acting like a total idiot. Still, I couldn't ignore their hushed laughter and quiet joking as I walked away. My face reddened again. Oh God, I pleaded, please just get me through this without screwing up or embarrassing myself! I'll be good, I promise.

I entered the kitchen quickly, and with trembling hands I gathered the mugs for the drinks. Lita entered the room not long after, and leaned against the counter next to me, looking extremely excited.

"Nice table, Serena!" She exclaimed, winking. "Man, I've never seen so many hotties in one spot! I especially like the one with the brown hair and killer smile."

"Yeah, they are really cute," I commented, trying unsuccessfully to hold the glass steady as I poured coke into it. Lita watched me spill once, twice, three times, and then she stopped me.

"What's up with you? Are you okay?" She asked, looking concerned.

I covered my face with my hands, and shook my head. "I don't know what's wrong with me! I was fine, totally in my routine, when those guys walk in! Suddenly I can't even function! I made a complete idiot of myself out there, and I'm dreading going back to that table." I moaned, my voice muffled through my fingers.

Lita was silent for a few minutes, pondering my predicament, then said: "It's the tall one, isn't it? That black hair, those blue eyes, and those buff muscles just barely visible through his--"

"Yes! That one!" I interrupted, tearing my hands from my face. "He's totally perfect! I've never seen anyone like him, and because of him I've turned into a stuttering dork!" I exploded.

To my surprise, instead of looking sympathetic, Lita began to laugh, her brown ponytail bobbing and her forest-green eyes flashing with genuine mirth. My face warmed again, and I knew I was resembling a very ripe tomato. "What's so funny?" I demanded.

"It's nothing!" She managed through her giggles. "I mean, I've heard of love-at-first-sight, but I never thought I'd actually witness it! But," she clucked her tongue, "he is a great catch! I must say I do support your choice."

"I haven't caught anything!" I huffed, snatching a towel from behind her to wipe up my mess. "And if you don't give me a break, you're going to catch a big slap in the face!" I snapped.

Lita roared with laughter, and shook her head. "Man girl, you do got it bad! Now get out there and give them their drinks before I go over there and start flirting with your mystery man!"

"He is not--" I began, but Lita shook her head and gently pushed me out the door. I turned back, but then slumped, knowing it was useless. Lita was right, I did have it bad, and I could barely even speak to the guy.

I made my way over to their table quickly, and tried to keep my body in some state of normalcy. There were five of them, all handsome, and all obviously good friends. I handed out their drinks with practiced ease, and finally began to feel a little less jittery.

"So what'll it be today, guys?" I asked, trying to keep my voice from trembling.

The cute guy Lita had noticed put down his menu first. "I'll have a burger, no onions, with extra ketchup," He said, offering me a flirtatious smile. I grinned back, and wrote his order down.

The guy with the silvery blonde hair that I had noticed from before piped in next. "I'll have a grilled chicken sandwich with everything on it, and I'd like to switch the fries for a salad, no dressing."

The boy sitting next to him with golden blonde hair and a devilishly cute grin laughed. "What's the matter Mal? Watching your figure?" He cracked, doing a horrible job of imitating an English accent. When the other boy shot him an icy look, he sobered up a bit, but not much. "I'll have a burger, extra onions, extra ketchup, and how about a little of you on the side?" He asked, shooting me a look that probably worked on quite a few girls. All the guys groaned and rolled their eyes, but I laughed and shook my head, a blush creeping into my cheeks.

"Can it, Jarod." A cute, but very intellectual-looking boy with sandy hair said, throwing me an apologetic look. "I'll just have a salad."

"Geez Zach, I was just kidding with her!" Jarod said, grinning at me again.

"Sometimes you kid too much." Came a voice from my right side, and finally I came face to face with HIM.

Suddenly it was hard to breathe again. He was even more beautiful up close, and he was smiling at me. I managed to smile back and glanced back down at my notepad, making a huge effort not to stare. "And what can I get for you?" I asked, trying to keep my voice from wavering.

"I'll take a double cheeseburger--extra cheese-- with lettuce, tomato, pickles, and no onions… Oh yeah! I'll also have a chocolate shake." He finished, handing me the menu.

I couldn't believe it! He had just ordered my favorite meal, right down to the extra cheese and chocolate shake! This guy really was perfect!

I guess he was so perfect, I didn't remember that I was still standing there, smiling at him. He looked at me quizzically, and finally I snapped out of it.

"Well, I'll get these orders to the kitchen! Let me know if you need anything!" I said, turning around quickly so they wouldn't see me turn red for the umpteenth time!

"Wait a second!" A voice called to my back. I closed my eyes, already knowing who it was.

"Yes? Is there something else I can get you?" I asked.

"No. I just wanted to tell you that's a really nice pendant," He said, pointing at my necklace.

A strange warmth filled my belly, and suddenly I wasn't nervous anymore. "Thanks," I said softly, smiling a little. "It was my mom's. She gave it to me when I was twelve."

"It's really pretty." He said, gazing at it. Then, as if remembering himself, he shook his head. "Sorry, I just had to let you know. It looked kind of familiar to me for some reason."

I raised an eyebrow. "Really? Well, thanks."

"You're welcome," he answered.

There was a brief pause where our eyes held, and in that moment, my crush on this guy fell firmly into place. I couldn't explain it, but there was something incredibly special about him. Somehow, I knew my necklace wasn't the only thing familiar to him. I didn't say it, but I almost felt as if I had met him before…

Suddenly, I realized I was still standing there, and I laughed nervously. "Better get those orders in," I stammered, walking away.

Behind me I heard one of them say: "What's with you Darien? That's the best you can do? 'I like your pendant?' Someone's not on top of their game!"

"I dunno," he answered. "I just feel like I know her."

Hey, I thought with a grin. I guess I'm not the only one.

The next hour went normally. I got them their food, refilled their drinks, and there were no more mishaps. But I was sad somehow… He was going back to his private school soon, and who knew when I would see him next. I watched him from the kitchen doorway as he ate, and wondered what he was really like. I watched the quiet way he joked with his friends, and noted the serious expressions that adorned his face when the joke was over. He was so… composed. I had never seen someone so in control of himself before. Part of me wanted to cross the room and loosen his tie, ruffle his hair, and wrinkle his shirt. I wanted to get rid of some of that perfection so he could seem more real to me.

But there was no time. They were already finishing their dinner, and I knew that soon one of them would locate me and ask for the check. Before they could do it, however, I was there, placing the bill on the table with a somewhat sad smile on my face.

"It was a pleasure serving you guys today. You can pay up at the register. Come back anytime!" I exclaimed, putting on my best cheery smile, although I was feeling anything but.

"Thanks, Serena. Don't work too hard!" Jarod said, giving me a wink.

I laughed, shook my head, and headed back into the kitchen to get the drinks for my other table. When I came back out, I was surprised to see Darien was still there, standing by the register. I couldn't be sure, but he looked a little nervous. He suddenly noticed me standing in the doorway, and waved me over. I gestured at the drinks in my hand and he nodded in realization, and motioned for me to get the table first. I hurried and dropped off the drinks, then went back.

"Hi," I stammered.

"Hey," He said.

There was a small silence. What could he want? Was I a terrible server? "Is everything okay?" I finally asked.

"Wha-- oh, oh yeah!" He exclaimed. "Everything was great. I just wanted to ask you something…"

"Miss? Miss?" A man in my section was waving frantically to get my attention. "I ordered a lemonade, not a Sprite!"

"I'll be there in just a minute!" I called, then turned back to Darien. "What were you saying?"

"Oh! Well, um, I don't usually do this kind of thing, but I was wondering if I could have--" He began.

I don't believe it! I thought. He's going to ask me for my--!

"Miss! MISS! You messed up my drink, and I'd like to get the one that I ordered!" The man snapped from the table.

I nearly exploded! Couldn't the guy tell that the most beautiful boy I had ever laid eyes on was trying to get my digits?!

"Hold on," I pleaded. "I have to get his drink."

"Well, the thing is, I kinda have to--" He started.

"I'll only be a second," I interrupted, "I swear!"

I almost ran from him and into the kitchen. I yanked a mug from the shelf, flew to the soda machine, and had just filled the glass with lemonade when I heard the bells of the front door jingle open.

"Darien, we gotta go man! The bus is here right now and there isn't another one out to Madison today!"

"But--" I heard him say.

"No 'buts' dude! Let's go!"

"No!" I cried. "I'll be right there!"

But even as I ran out those plastic doors, I knew he had already left. My shoulders sagged as if someone had dropped a 20 lb sack of potatoes on them. He was gone. I'd really missed him. I headed over to the table and dropped off the drink, not entirely oblivious to the scowl the customer shot me, but I couldn't care less.

I turned back towards the door and saw nothing but an empty bus stop. He was heading back to Madison, and I'd probably never see him again. Rich boys from all over the country went to that school, and he looked like a senior. Yep, by next summer he'd be on his way to any college he wanted, and I doubt it would reside in quiet little Vermont.

As I stood there staring into the street, a head of blue-black hair entered my vision. A second later, its owner nearly crashed into me as she came huffing and puffing through the door.

"Sorry!" She cried, trying to catch her breath. "Computer class ran puff a little huff late!" She shook her head and inhaled deeply. "So! What'd I miss?"


	2. Chapter 2

Well, here's chapter two! Thank you all so much for the reviews, I really love the feedback! Enjoy!

Later that night I sat on my bedroom floor painting my toe-nails, trying to ignore Mina's prying blue eyes.

"So let me get this straight…" Mina began, drumming her fingertips against her chin. "You meet the guy of your dreams, he compliments your necklace, he orders your favorite meal, he starts to ask you for your number, and instead of telling the customer to shove it, you leave to get a lemonade and let Mr. Perfect get away?"

I rolled my eyes. "I was working! I couldn't just ignore the customer!"

"But you let him get away, Serena! I mean, when are you ever going to get to see this guy again? I would have chased after the bus if I were you!" She exclaimed.

"Well, I'm not as crazy as you are okay?" I said, exasperated. "And besides," I began, pausing to examine my handiwork, "the bus was already gone. I missed my chance, it's over."

"I don't know," Lita said, putting down the magazine she was reading. "He was totally hot. I wouldn't give up so easily."

"What am I supposed to do? Go up to the school and say: 'Hey, I'm Serena, that crazy waitress that couldn't stop staring at you! I think you were going to ask me for my number, but since you didn't get the chance, I'll just give it to you now!'" I sighed. "I'd look like a total freak."

There was a large silence, and I could tell the girls were disheartened by my response. But it was true! I had blown it, and I'd never see Darien again.

Our silence was broken with a knock on the door. Lita lifted herself from the bed and opened it only to find Amy standing outside in the hallway.

"Hey everyone!" she said sheepishly. "Your dad let me in, Serena, sorry I'm late." She began to set her stuff down. "This just hasn't been my day. I got my letter from Madison…"

"That's it!" Mina suddenly shouted from her spot on the floor. "You could go to Madison!"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, somewhat disgusted that she wasn't letting this go.

"You should apply at Madison's School for Girls!" Mina insisted excitedly.

"What's going on?" Amy asked.

"Mina's trying to convince Serena to go chase after that guy that came in today." Lita explained calmly, actually yawning.

"But Mina--" Amy began.

"Quiet Amy, this is good!" Mina interrupted. "You could apply there, and you would get to see Darien all the time!" She frowned at my shaking head, obviously not giving up. "Don't you get it? His school is right across the pond! You've got the grades for it, and you know we'd have no problem affording it. It's the perfect plan!"

"But Mina--" Amy began again.

"Wait a second, Amy." I interrupted. "I'm trying to think."

Mina, for once, actually made sense! I mean, it was true. Since my mom had died, my dad had become a perpetual workaholic. I think it was his way of grieving, but it had made our family very wealthy. Also, I did have the grades for it, and it would only be a matter of sending in an application…

But this was crazy! I didn't even know this guy! Why was I so willing to completely uproot my life for a chance to see him again? I couldn't do this!

"Don't think about it, Serena." My sister said quietly. I looked up at her, raising an eyebrow. "You're always so cautious. Don't let this be one of those situations where you look back and think 'what if?' There's something special about this guy, I can feel it! Besides, you won't be alone-- Amy just got her letter and we all know she got in." She insisted.

"But you guys don't get it!" Amy finally broke in desperately. We all turned towards her and found her red-faced and almost crying. "Serena can't go to Madison!"

"What do you mean?" Lita asked. "Why not?"

"The school is full," Amy answered, biting her lip. "The letter I got today was a rejection. No one else is getting in."

We all stared at Amy, who was totally silent as tears flowed in twin rivers down her cheeks. Then, without another word I walked over and enveloped her in a tight hug.

"It's okay, Amy. Don't cry." I said softly. She hugged me back, then pulled away wiping at her tears and sniffling a bit.

"I'm not that worried about it; it was just something I wanted to add to my college application. I'm just frustrated because I worked so hard on the entrance essay, and I've never been rejected from anything in my entire life! It was just a blow to the ego, that's all." She said, smiling sadly.

"But it wasn't like they didn't want you." Mina piped in, throwing her arm around Amy's small shoulders. "They were too full, that's all." She paused for a second, a frown creasing her brow. "Well," she sighed, "if they won't let our Amy in, that puts a huge damper on our plans for Serena." She bit down on her full lip, knowing defeat was just around the corner. "I hate to say it, but we might have to let it go."

"It just sucks!" Amy suddenly exclaimed. "It's times like these I wish I was a boy! Madison's School for Boys has plenty of room. Most of the school's budget goes to lengthening their academic program, as well as the school's walls. I swear, women really do get the shorter end of the stick."

There was a huge break in our conversation, and in it's duration I sighed and fell back onto my bed. I covered my upturned face with my pillow and screwed my eyes shut, trying not to remember Darien's perfect smile, gorgeous blue eyes, and soft black hair…

"So Madison's School for Boys is still open?" Mina wondered, her words chasing away the fantasy I had conjured.

"Yeah, they always have room. Their campus is nearly twice the size of the one occupied by the girls," Amy murmured, sighing.

"Oh really?" Mina inquired.

My eyes suddenly opened. There was something in her voice that suggested maybe she hadn't given up after all.

"Maybe there is a chance Serena can still go to Madison…" Mina suddenly said, a hint of wickedness creeping into her voice. Uh oh…

"What are you talking about?" I asked, sitting up straight. "The school is full, end of story. Let it go!"

"The school for GIRLS is full, there's plenty of room in the other one…" Mina trailed off, an impish grin crossed her pretty features.

It took me a moment to realize just what she was implying. Then it hit me, and my mouth dropped open. "Oh no way! I will NOT do that!" I protested, my voice level rising. "You can just forget it!"

"But Serena," Mina pouted, "this is your one chance to get close to Darien. You can't let it pass by!"

"Excuse me, but how do we get Serena into this school?" Amy asked.

"We dress her up!" Mina said simply.

"Over my dead body! How the heck is he supposed to fall for me if I'm dressed as a guy?" I nearly shouted.

"Shhh! Keep your voice down!" Mina hissed. "It's just so you can get close to him."

"I dunno, Mina." Lita said, sounding doubtful for the first time. "I mean, normally I support your crazy ideas, but this would be hard to pull off."

"Why? We cut her hair, get her some new clothes, make sure her curves are covered… I don't see the problem!" Mina shot back, shrugging her shoulders.

"But I'll be a GUY!" I protested shrilly. "He's not going to fall in love with a guy!"

"And don't forget we have to create an entire identity for her," Amy cut in, completely ignoring my outburst. "She'll need a background: a name, medical records, transcripts, and proof of participation in clubs or sports. They do extensive checks on their applicants."

"Who cares about my background!" I insisted. "I WILL BE A GUY! I think it sort of defeats the purpose of me even going if I'm can't even use my feminine wiles on him!"

"Serena, do you want to get close to this guy or not?" Mina suddenly snapped, her blue eyes flaring. I sat back, my mouth closing sharply.

"Sure I do, but I don't think--" I began.

"We have no other choice," Mina interrupted. "Look at it this way, you are getting a chance to do something that no girl has ever attempted. You are going to get to know a guy on his own turf. Every girl knows that a guy never acts around her like he does when in the company of his friends. You'll get to see Darien in his home territory, and who knows, maybe he'll be as perfect as you seem to think, and maybe he won't. The point is, this is the only way."

"But Mina," I whined, "he won't know it's me. How will I tell him--"

"You'll find a way," she interjected. "Ten minutes ago you were telling me you couldn't even function in this guy's presence. Think of your new hair and clothes as a giant mask. You'll be more comfortable, and you'll get to know Darien in a way that no girl ever has."

"This is crazy!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air. "And it's dishonest. How would I tell him?"

"Cross that bridge when you come to it," Lita broke in. "Don't think about it now, just do it!"

"But you all are forgetting that we have to create another identity!" Amy persisted. "Sure we can dress her up, but it's extremely difficult to make a person out of thin air!"

"Wait a minute!" Lita suddenly exclaimed. "I've got it! Allen!"

"What?!" We all said together.

"Allen is a huge computer geek," Lita explained. "We could use him to create Serena's new identity. He could make transcripts, a history, a fake ID, you name it!"

"How do you know all this?" I asked suspiciously.

"Well…" She trailed off, blushing. "He sort of made me a fake ID once. It was back when I had a crush on a twenty-two year old guy, and I needed to prove I was legal to hang out with him…"

"Lita!" Amy cried. "You never told me about that!"

She shrugged. "It was only for three weeks or so, and then I figured out he was a big jerk. But anyway, Allen got me the ID, and it was real enough to fool every bar and club owner in New York City."

"You didn't do anything, did you?" I asked.

"Heck no! I was sixteen, but I wasn't stupid. I just wanted to be close to the guy." She smiled, and shook her head with embarrassment. "The lengths we go for love."

"Well," Mina said with a grin, "that erases our identity problem. How about it, Serena? It's your only chance."

I sat on my bed, letting the idea sink in. This was nuts! How was Darien supposed to notice me if I was dressed as a guy? It was totally dishonest!

But then again, Mina was right about the fact that I'd get a view on guys no other girl had ever gotten before. I wouldn't be as nervous around him, and I would be really close… But could I really pull this off? Could I look, talk, and act like a guy? I don't know if I could fool everyone, but this was my only chance… and if any guy was worth it, Darien was.

"All right," I finally answered. "I'll do it."

Like it? Hate it? Review please!


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, I paid Allen a visit. I hadn't been to his house in over a year, but I was happy to see that he still resided in the same cozy home on the outskirts of town. I stood on his doorstep, tapping my foot anxiously, rehearsing my cover story in my head over and over again. Finally satisfied that I had it down, I rang the doorbell, nervously tucking a strand of my blonde hair behind my ear. A few minutes later, his mom opened the door wearing an apron covered with flour.

"Serena!" She cried, obviously surprised. "I haven't seen you in ages!"

"Hi, Mrs. Benson," I said sheepishly, wringing my hands. "Is Allen home?"

"Why, yes he is. He's in his room right now, playing around on his computer. I'm just baking some cookies, would you like some?" She asked, leading me inside.

The smell of chocolate invaded my nostrils, and my mouth watered, but I pushed the urge away. "No thanks, I just have to ask Allen a favor."

"All right, if you're sure. His room's down the hall, but I'm sure you remember. It's good to see you again, dear!" She called over her shoulder as she headed back towards the kitchen.

I sighed, and turned to walk down the hall to Allen's room. I paused outside the door, listening to the sounds within, but all I could hear was the soft clicking of his keyboard. Satisfied, I raised my hand and knocked firmly on the door.

"I'm busy mom! I'll taste your cookies later!" He shouted, voice slightly muffled through the wood.

"It's Serena," I called. "I needed to ask you something."

"Serena?" He repeated.

"Yeah, can I come in?"

"Hold on," he warned. "I'll be right there."

A crash suddenly resounded from inside the room, followed by a string of curses. I had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing. I could hear him inside, clamoring to pick up what I was assuming a horrendously messy room. It was almost cute.

After a few minutes, he finally opened his door wearing a Nintendo t-shirt and a pair of jeans.

"Hey, Serena." He said nervously, pushing his glasses higher on his nose.

"Hey, sorry to bother you, but I need a huge favor." I said quickly, getting right to the point.

"Sure, anything! What can I do?" He asked eagerly. I paused for a moment, not quite knowing how to phrase it, but then finally deciding to take the plunge.

"I need you to make me a guy." I blurted.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I need you to make me a guy," I repeated. Allen suddenly turned red.

"Serena, if you're having some sort of identity crisis, I think you might want to talk to--"

"No! It's nothing like that!" I insisted, laughing in spite of myself. "Sorry, I'm going about this all wrong," I apologized. "You see, I'm doing this undercover story for the city paper. There's been rumors of extreme hazing at Madison's School for Boys, and I want to investigate. In order to do this, I have to become a student there, and to do that I have to get through their background check. That's where you come in," I explained, hoping he'd buy it.

"Wow, this sounds really big! But I don't get it, why would they want someone outside the paper to set something like that up? Why doesn't the paper do this stuff for you?" He asked.

Uh, oh! You better come up with something fast! I thought to myself.

"Well… You see, they haven't exactly agreed to print the story yet. They're interested, but they're worried about all the legal stuff. I know it'll take them too long to hash out all the details, so I was hoping you could help me with getting an identity, and I could get them the story by winter break. If I do it this way, we all win, and I don't have to wait for the 'go ahead' from the paper."

Whew! I thought. Good one! But would Allen help me?

"How do you know I can help you?" He asked suspiciously. I smiled shyly.

"Well, I know you got Lita a fake ID, and it fooled everyone. I figured if you could do that, you were definitely smart enough to create a person." I paused, putting on my best damsel-in-distress expression. "Can you help me?"

I could practically see his chest fill with pride, and I again was struck with that feeling that Allen was really sweet. If he did this, I was going to owe him one.

"I'll help you." He finally answered. "But it'll take some time, so give me a few days."

"Thanks Allen!" I exclaimed, really meaning it. "I owe you one!" I reached out and gave him a quick hug.

He looked as if Christmas had come early, and I had to resist smiling.

"You-You're welcome," he stammered.

"I gotta go now, but thank you again! I really do appreciate it."

"Not a problem," he said, trying to look nonchalant, but I could see he was itching to get started.

"Well, see you later." I said.

"See you!" He answered, his eyes holding a soft, faraway look.

I walked out of his house with a new view of him. Andrew was right. He wasn't a bad guy, and he deserved a great girl. Maybe I can find him one up at Madison, I thought. I smiled, remembering Allen's eager face. If he could get me closer to Darien, I owed him at least that much!

The next thing I had to do was meet Mina at the mall to go shopping for my "new look." It really wasn't that difficult, I had the money, and Mina had the taste, and it wasn't long before I had myself a brand new wardrobe.

I stood in front of the mirror in Macy's, taking in my new prep-school uniform. The trousers were cut well enough to hide my hips, and the shirt fit perfectly, without revealing the secrets I would have to keep up top.

"We can get you an ace bandage to wrap them too," Mina commented, reaching forward to straighten my necktie.

"I think I'm gonna throw up…" I murmured, trying to get used to the person staring back at me. "I don't know if this is such a good idea anymore."

"Don't chicken out on me now," she warned, taking me by my shoulders. "You can do this! I already informed Dad about your acceptance to Madison's School for Girls, and he was thrilled. He's getting your tuition checks in order, and he even bought my story that the boys' school holds the main financial office. You're totally covered, so relax!" She reassured.

"It's not that!" I sighed, and covered my eyes with one hand. "I know we have all the technical stuff down, but can I pull this off? Mina, I'm not even a tomboy! How am I going to convince all these guys that I'm one of them?"

"Look at it this way," Mina reasoned patiently, "at least you're not a guy trying to be a girl. You think learning to be a guy is hard, think of how tough it would be for them to learn all the little tricks of our trade. I mean, can you imagine a guy trying to pick out an outfit, or tweezing his eyebrows, or shaving? I mean, imagine him trying to have a meaningful conversation without tuning it out. You have a distinct advantage over them, it's called a brain!"

I laughed and shook my head. "I just feel so weird about all this… It's so sneaky!" I insisted.

"You act like you're the first girl to dress up as a man for love! Heck, look at Shakespeare! Almost half the women in his plays are dressing up as the opposite sex in order to get their man. Cheer up, you're not alone!"

I glanced back at my reflection and tried to imagine my hair cut short, and I nearly cringed. I had been growing it out since I was eleven, and it was my pride and joy… layers and layers of golden blonde hair falling nearly to my backside. I gulped.

"Mina…" I trailed off, my voice breaking.

"Yeah?"

"I have to cut my hair," I stated flatly.

"Well duh, you can't go in there looking like Goldilocks!"

I bit my lip hard, and before I could stop myself, I burst into tears.

The next few days were a blur. I had finished getting my wardrobe together, gotten my application off to Madison, and had been given the clear by Allen that any background checks would go through. My new name was Ren Johnson, basically an abbreviation of my actual name, so I wouldn't have that much of a problem answering to it. Most of my information was the same too (transcripts, activities, etc.), but instead of playing on the girls' soccer, volleyball, and track team, I had played for the opposite sex. Everything was perfect, but I still needed to cut my hair. Because I was so afraid, I convinced Mina that I shouldn't do it until I received my acceptance letter from Madison. I must admit, part of me was hoping it would never come--not just because of my hair--but because the thought of actually going through with this charade completely terrified me.

However, my hopes were dashed when my acceptance letter arrived a week later, just in the nick of time. It was really going to happen; I was really leaving. I couldn't put off the last touch of my transformation any longer. I had to cut my hair whether I wanted to or not.

Opening the door of the salon was the hardest thing I'd ever done. When I stepped inside, I felt my hands turn clammy, and I shivered.

"Mina!" I moaned.

She reached forward and took my hand, giving it a big squeeze. "It's just hair," she reassured. "It'll grow back before you know it."

I bit my lip and got into the chair. The lady gave me a big smile, and reached to undo my hair. She whistled appreciatively as it cascaded down my back. "So healthy," she commented. "What would you like me to do today?"

I took in a deep breath and willed my heart to stop racing.

"Just cut it all off," I said flatly, closing my eyes.

"All of it?" She asked incredulously.

"All of it."

About forty-five minutes later, my stylist announced she was finished. I reluctantly opened my eyes, and inhaled sharply. It was short-- about two-and-a-half inches long. I reached up and gently passed my hand over the top of it, trying to get used to the new sensations. I glanced down and stared at all my hair strewn across the floor, then looked back at the mirror.

Well, I would definitely fool people, but I highly doubted Darien would ever be attracted to me now. I sighed, and tried to tell myself I was doing the right thing, but I had a bit of a hard time. Somehow, I just felt crazy and stupid. I would have to catch a bus up to Madison in a few days, and the only emotion I could conjure up was fear.

"I really am crazy," I whispered. "This better be worth it."

Well, that's chapter three! Like it? Hate it? Review please!


	4. Chapter 4

The day I had to leave came too soon. All my best friends came out to wish me goodbye, but it only served to make me homesick before I even left. Lita and Amy gave me a hug first, kissing my cheeks.

"You look so handsome!" Lita exclaimed excitedly. "And I mean that in a good way!" She winked. "Be safe, and go get him girl!"

I smiled back tentatively.

"Now study hard, okay? We'll come visit you soon!" Amy said gently. "We'll be missing you!"

"I'll miss you too," I replied, picking up my bag and turning towards Mina. She enveloped me in a warm embrace, and I squeezed back tightly. "I'm scared to death," I admitted.

"You'll be fine," she said gently. "If anyone can do this, you can."

"Thanks, Mina." I smiled, and she grinned back.

"Oh yeah!" she added. "If you meet any cute guys, send him our way, okay?"

"What about Derek?" I asked.

"We broke up!" she sighed. "Surprise, surprise!"

I laughed and shook my head. "I'll call you when I get there."

"Okay."

I walked towards the bus, turning around one final time to see Andrew and Allen waving from the front door of The Comfort Café. I waved back, and then got on the bus. There were three other boys there, all on their way to Madison. I recognized one of them, he was a friend of Darien's. He was the cute blonde-- the jokester. I took the seat in front of him, and waved once more at the girls outside. They waved back enthusiastically, and a moment later, the bus was pulling away and I was leaving home behind.

"Man," came a voice from behind me. "All those babes yours?"

I turned around and came face to face with the boy I remembered from the diner. I grinned and shook my head. "A few friends," I said nonchalantly, trying to drop my voice as much as possible.

He whistled low and grinned. "Hook a brother up, dude!"

I laughed in spite of myself, and made the mistake of laughing my own way. He gave me a queer look, then chuckled himself.

"Your voice high enough there?" he cracked, and I blushed.

"I'm a late bloomer," I muttered sarcastically, and turned around.

"Hey man, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it!" He said quickly, standing up and dropping into the seat across from mine so he could face me. "We all go through the voice change-- I just like to mess around." He grinned, and I smiled back. "I'm Jarod Bellmont," he said, thrusting his hand forward.

"Ren Johnson," I returned, shaking it.

"Nice to meet you Ren. You heading up to Madison?" he wondered.

"Aren't we all?" I asked.

"Well, most of us, but there's a few passengers that just go to visit family or something in the city."

"How long is the ride?" I asked, itching to get there.

"A little over three hours with all the stops. We'll actually be picking up a few of my friends, so you can meet them. This is your first year, right?"

"Yeah," I answered. "Can you tell?"

"Naw, just never seen you before," he said easily. "You a senior?"

"Uh huh, transferring over for my last year of high school," I explained.

"Wow! That must be kinda hard leaving family, friends, all those girls…" he trailed off, and I laughed again, this time keeping my voice at a low pitch.

"It wasn't so bad, and it looks good for college," I said, picking at my nails.

"I hear that," he agreed. "My parents are shelling out some serious money to pay for tuition. They're determined to get me into Harvard or Yale, and Madison's my ticket in."

"Pretty high expectations," I commented.

"Yeah, they want me to study law and become a corporate lawyer."

"Wow, you cool with that?"

"I guess, it definitely pays a lot. It's one of those 'I made it' jobs, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah."

"What about you?" he wondered. "Have any idea what you're gonna do?"

"NYU," I answered. "I want to study journalism."

"That's awesome man, I almost wish I could do something like that," he said, sighing a bit.

"Why don't you?"

"Doesn't pay enough for parental approval. I like art myself, but when has anyone heard of a living successful painter?"

"Thomas Kincaid…" I offered.

"I meant talented," he said sarcastically.

We both laughed pretty hard at that one, and in the middle of that laughter, Jarod and I became friends. I was on the inside now, so I could be close to Darien, and I wouldn't have to go through that awkward first day of school. Maybe this wouldn't be so difficult after all.

The rest of the ride was actually a lot of fun! When we hit the city we picked up two of Jarod's other friends-- Nathan Landry and Zach Ryan. They both had just flown in from Los Angeles, but neither seemed to be suffering from any sort of jet lag. I found both of them to be really nice, and even began to feel at home thanks to Nathan's easy-going nature and Zach's quiet and intelligent sense of humor. They reminded me a lot of Lita and Amy, and were already beginning to make me feel at home.

"So who's going to be your roommate?" Zach inquired, brushing a strand of his sandy-colored hair out of his green eyes.

"I don't know yet," I answered. "They didn't tell me."

"Well good luck finding one!" Nathan chimed from his seat next to Zach. "Returning students get priority and can either pick their roommate, or live alone--at their parent's expense, of course! Most new students and freshmen are stuck with whatever's left."

I frowned. I had been hoping everyone got their own room, but I obviously had been mistaken. What if I got some gross guy who ate his toenails and never showered?

"I don't think Ren'll have to worry," Jarod broke in suddenly.

"Really? Why?" I asked eagerly.

"I don't have a roommate, and I'm sure I could talk Mr. Wakefield into letting you bunk with me," he explained.

"Really? You don't think there are any more empty rooms?" I asked hopefully.

The three guys laughed, and I blushed with shame.

"Don't push your luck, Ren!" Nathan snorted. "First years never get their own room! But don't worry, Jarod's not a bad roommate-- if you don't like sleeping."

"Hey! I'm a great roommate!" Jarod protested.

"He snores like a lawnmower. It's like nothing you've ever heard!" Zach interjected, throwing Jarod a wink.

"Okay," Jarod amended, "I do snore, but it's not that--okay it is pretty bad." We laughed, and he grinned. "Tell you what! I'll personally purchase earplugs for you, and we'll call it even. Deal?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

I smiled and nodded. "Deal."

"Awesome! Oh yeah, one more thing roomie, I just have to let you know that in my room, we have a few rules…"

Everyone groaned and hung their heads, but I couldn't keep a smile from my face. This was going to be easier than I expected, and for the first time, I was really feeling like I could do this.

An hour later, we pulled up to the gate of Madison's School for Boys. The grounds were filled with concrete walkways, bordered by towering forest-green hedges, and littered with gorgeous maples. An immaculate emerald lawn spanned over three-hundred yards up to the white, marble, plantation-style entryway. The campus consisted of a set eight immense, beautiful, brick buildings crawling with green ivy set in a square surrounding a gorgeous courtyard. Just past the last buildings I could make out a small forest consisting of maples, beech trees, and cottonwoods, bordering a huge lake. The girls' school must be just across that, I thought to myself. My mouth dropped open. This was a school? It looked more like a mansion!

My thoughts were broken as the bus driver opened the door, letting loose the compressed air in the hinges with a whoosh!

"Time to go!" Nathan announced, grabbing his sports bag and trunk.

I rose to my feet quickly and started to gather my things, straining under all the weight. "Is anyone going to pick us up?" I asked, glancing back at the vastness of the lawn. The last thing I wanted to do was walk across that thing dragging all this stuff behind me.

"Nope," Zach said mournfully. "Most guys walk that thing almost every year--Dean says it builds character. You only get a ride if somebody drives you."

"Nice to know you're getting your money's worth, eh Ren?" Jarod cracked, hoisting his bag onto his back. "Who knows? Maybe we'll get lucky this year!"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Sometimes a friend will help us out on the way," Nathan explained. "It's good to have a few connections at this school, but some semesters they don't make it in time."

I raised an eyebrow, but shrugged and got off the bus, groaning under the pressure of my trunk. The thing had to weigh over a hundred pounds, and the entrance had to be over 300 yards away. I wanted to faint! My trunk had wheels, but they wouldn't do much good on the gravel driveway.

"They can't be serious!" I moaned. "It's like ninety-five degrees out here!"

"Awww, does the wittle baby tink it's too hot?" Came a sneering voice from behind me. I whirled around and came face to face with a boy who would have been considered tremendously attractive if the smug look was missing. His blonde hair was so light, it appeared white in the glaring sun. However, the most striking aspect of his appearance was his eyes… I had never seen purple eyes before. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and glared back at him.

"Cut it out Diamond," Jarod suddenly piped in. "He's right-- it is hot, and you're not going to like dragging your stuff all the way up there either."

"Who says you guys have to drag it up?" A voice suddenly interjected. I turned and recognized one of boys' other friends standing next to a black Lincoln Navigator.

"Malcolm White!" Jarod shouted, grinning impishly and heading towards the car. "I knew you'd come through!" He turned back and waved me over, and I picked up my trunk to follow.

"Enjoy the walk!" I shouted over my shoulder at the boy's glowering face.

"Nice!" Nathan laughed as we headed over to the car, slapping me a high five.

"Who was that guy?" I asked, glancing back to watch him pick up his trunk and start heading up the expansive driveway.

"Lucas Diamond, the richest jerk-off in school. Looks like he's on probation again this semester, usually he's got his own car with him," Zach explained.

"We're allowed to have cars?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah, restricted usage though. Weekends and holidays only, and sometimes they don't even give you that. Plus, mom and dad got to be rich enough to pay for the garage space." Jarod cut in as we finally reached the car.

"So, who's your friend?" Our rescuer asked, glancing at me through his silvery-blonde bangs.

"Diamond certainly seems to like him!" A voice joked from the other side of the car, and then HE came around the side. My knees nearly turned to jelly, and my heart skipped a beat. "Don't worry, anyone who isn't a friend of his is a friend of ours!" he said with a grin. My heart pounded hard in my chest, and I prayed that he couldn't hear it.

"Darien Shields!" Jarod cried out, reaching out to shake his hand. "My man! I should have known you were already here."

"You know I always ride with Mac," Darien said smiling, then he glanced at me and his eyes were filled with curiosity. "And as much as I hate to repeat my cousin, who is your friend?"

"Darien Shields, Malcolm White," Jarod began expansively, "this is the man with the master plan! A babe magnet, a poet, a lover, a fighter, a brother, a friend, my future roommate…"

"Cut the crap Jarod!" I interrupted, laughing.

"Okay okay," he said, laughing as well. "Ren Johnson, this is Darien and Malcolm. Get to know 'em, get to love 'em, because you'll be seeing a lot more of 'em!"

I rolled my eyes and reached out to shake Malcolm's proffered hand. When I reached for Darien's, however, I had an unusual experience. As soon as our fingers touched, electricity traveled straight up my arm making my entire body warm and my skin tingle. I nearly gasped, but tried to keep my breathing even and my hand still as I pulled away.

"Nice to meet you," I said quickly, glancing up only to see the same strange expression on Darien's features that I knew was gracing mine.

There was a brief silence, but as usual it was broken by Jarod. "So, we got room for him or what?" he asked, jerking his head at me.

"Of course!" Malcolm said, waving me over. "Just pile it all in, and we'll get ourselves up to the school. You really rooming with Jarod?" He asked, giving me a look.

"I guess so," I answered.

"Good luck," Darien said, grinning at me.

I laughed and looked at Jarod, who was actually blushing. "Are you really that bad?"

"No!" he answered sheepishly. "They're totally exaggerating!"

"I guess I'm just going to have to see for myself!" I exclaimed. "Just don't be surprised if you wake up with a sock stuffed in your mouth!"

The boys laughed, and Darien casually threw an arm around my shoulder, making the entire area tingle, and I had to resist shivering. "I like this guy!" He said, smiling at me. "You'll fit right in!"

And that's how our friendship began. 


	5. Chapter 5

An hour after Darien picked us up, Jarod and I stood in our room trying to decide what should go where.

"I think our beds should be on separate sides of the room--it leaves more space in the middle." Jarod commented.

"Yeah, but the only problem is if we do that, we cover up the outlets and we'll have nowhere to plug in the desk lights." I sighed, and glanced around the room. "How did you guys ever do it before?" I wondered aloud.

"Extension cords, big pain in the ass!" Jarod answered, grinning to himself. I smiled back, then frowned as I looked at the room again.

"Well," I began, "we could move a bed against the left side of the room, move the other one straight back next to the window, then move one desk to the right side, and one to the wall next to the door where the outlets are." I finished, wondering if it could work.

Jarod stepped back and looked at the room, trying to see the picture I was constructing in my head, then laughed out loud. "Brilliant!" he shouted to the ceiling like some mad scientist in an old movie. "Look out Trading Spaces! Ren Johnson's coming to town!"

I laughed, then stopped, and leveled him with a quizzical gaze. "You watch Trading Spaces?"

He looked a little uncomfortable, but shrugged and gave me a lopsided grin. "My sister likes it, and I dig the artistic stuff they do."

"You'd think it would've helped a little!" I teased, laughing. He laughed too, and was about to say something else, when a knock resounded through the room. Before we could answer, Darien and Nathan poked their heads through the doorway wearing a t-shirt and jeans.

"You guys finished unpacking yet?" Darien asked.

"Almost, we just have to move some stuff around. Why?" Jarod asked, beginning to shove a bed towards the left side of the room.

"We're starting up a football game behind the school. You feel up to it, Ren?" Nathan asked.

I glanced at Darien, who looked at me expectantly. Football? Was I going to get killed out there? "I, uh, don't really play…" I began.

"Come on Ren, I know you're kinda small, but we'll look out for you. Besides, it's prep-school, and let's just say we're not known for our tough guys." Jarod said, winking.  
"That of course, doesn't include us!" Darien put in, smiling at me.

A warm feeling coursed through my stomach, and before I could stop myself, I nodded assent. "Okay, I'm in!"

"Awesome! We'll see you guys in a bit then." Darien said. He motioned for Nathan to follow, and they headed out the door, leaving Jarod and I to our work.

Just as Jarod and I finished setting up the room, I realized how awkward my new living situation was going to be. I had finished shoving the end of my bed against the wall when I turned around and discovered Jarod digging through the contents of his bureau wearing only his boxers. Heat warmed my skin before I could stop it, and I quickly averted my eyes. I may have been totally hung up on Darien, but Jarod was very cute, and I felt like I was violating his privacy or something by admiring his muscular physique. He'd make a girl very happy if he ever took his shirt off in her presence.

"What are you doing?" I stammered, not quite daring to look at him again.

"Changing, what's it look like?" he asked absentmindedly. "I can't play football in my uniform. You better hurry up and get changed too--they're all waiting for us."

My stomach dropped. "I have to change? In here?" I sputtered, without even thinking.

Jarod turned and stared at me hard. "No dummy, in Nathan's room down the hall!" he said sarcastically. "Yes, you change in here! It's your room isn't it? Why are you acting so weird?" he asked.

"I don't know… I'm just used to having my own room," I explained, getting a little defensive. "I'm a little shy."

He didn't look very convinced, but I must have looked really uncomfortable because his blue eyes suddenly softened, and he sighed. "Look dude, if you're that shy about it, there's a bathroom down the hall with some stalls."

I smiled with relief and nodded. "Thanks, sorry about that."

"It's no problem, but I suggest you get over this shyness thing soon. If you hog all those stalls, there's going to be some very angry guys around here. Some of them are pretty regular, if you know what I mean."

I wrinkled my nose, not quite believing he had said that, but shook my head. "Okay," I finally agreed, rooting through my drawer until I found a huge red t-shirt and a pair of jersey shorts. "I'll be back in just a minute."

I heard him grunt in reply behind me, and I left the room. Finding the bathroom was easy, and it was empty for now, much to my relief. However, its structure posed another problem for me. There were plenty of showers, but they were all set in the open like in the gym locker room back home. How was I supposed to clean up if everyone could see me?

"Look's like 4 a.m. showers for me," I muttered to myself, stepping into a green toilet stall and slamming the door behind me.

Determined to get ready quickly, I unbuttoned my shirt and exposed my small breasts, wrapped tightly in an ace bandage. It was inconvenient and not exactly comfortable, but it was a small price to pay to keep my identity a secret.

Making sure everything was in place, I pulled a white tank-top over my head, and followed it with the red t-shirt. I pushed off my trousers, and yanked on the jersey shorts, being sure to wear them low enough to hide the length of my legs. After slipping into my tennis shoes, I left the bathroom and met Jarod back in our room.

I deposited my clothes unceremoniously on my bed and caught Jarod's expectant expression out of the corner of my eye.

"You ready?" he asked.

I ran a hand through my short hair and nodded. "Yeah, let's go."

We exited the room without another word, our feet pounding on the mahogany floors as we ran through the hall and down the stairs. I smiled to myself, realizing it was kind of fun not having to be dainty. I hadn't run like this since I was ten years-old.

Minutes later we were crossing the lawn, heading towards the edge of the lake where a group of boys were already gathering. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I realized that this would be my first big test of masculinity. Jarod was right, most of the boys couldn't be classified as "huge," but they were a lot larger than me. Over half of them stood over six feet, and nearly all had the strong, lean muscles found only in teenage boys. None of them could wrestle in the WWF, but with a direct tackle, they were going to demolish my 5'4" frame.

I caught the violet eyes of Lucas Diamond in the crowd, and he flashed me a deadly grin. I gulped, knowing he outweighed me by at least sixty pounds and would have no problem creaming my butt once we hit that field. I was doomed!

"Don't worry about him," A voice said from my right.

I turned around and found Darien standing next to me, following my gaze with his steely blue eyes. Suddenly I couldn't care less about Diamond, and found it hard to breath standing at such close proximity to the object of my affection. He glanced at me and grinned, looking beautiful as the breeze picked up and tousled his coal-black hair. I suddenly could smell him, and inhaled deeply picking up the scent of fresh cut roses.  
I quickly snapped myself out of it, however, and turned towards Darien, careful to look normal.

"Is he any good?" I asked.

"Yeah, he's really good, and he's got it out for you, so be careful." He glanced at me, and appeared to size me up. "How fast are you?"

I grinned, I hadn't thought about my speed. I held three track records back at my school, and two of them were faster than the boy's highest score. If there was one thing I excelled at, it was running.

"Fast enough," I said bravely.

Darien grinned, and nodded. "I thought so, it's always the small ones. Stay open, and I'll get the ball to you," he winked.

"You got it," I answered.

We divided into teams quickly. Darien picked me right away, but it wasn't necessary. I highly doubted the other captain was dying to have me play for him. We lined up shortly after making the boundaries of the field. Our team had possession of the ball first, and I was so nervous I was almost shaking.

Not surprisingly, Diamond lined up in front of me, but his smug expression was enough to rapidly steady my nerves. I was suddenly so determined to wipe that look off his face, I didn't care how bad he could cream me.

Nathan snapped the ball to Darien and I took off like a bullet. I raced past Diamond, spinning around him so fast his arms grabbed only air and his body weight carried him to the ground. I turned my head only to see the ball whirling towards me, getting closer and closer. I reached up, felt my hands close over the rough skin of the ball, and held tight. Pulling it down into my side, I took off for the end zone, the wind roaring in my ears. In seconds, I had crossed into it, scoring the first touchdown of the game.

My teammates cheered, all displaying a look of disbelief on their face… All that is, except for Darien. He smiled as he ran towards me, and when he reached me, he hoisted me into the air by my waist and ran around as I laughed above him.

"I knew you could do it man!" he shouted. "The other team is toast!"

And so they were. We defeated them by 21 points, and I had never been so exhausted in my entire life. I'd like to say I escaped Diamond every time we lined up, but I didn't. He managed to run me over several instances--- once hitting me so hard in the chest I saw stars, but I kept going. I scored three of our five touchdowns, had a ton of bruises, but I also had the boys' respect--excluding Diamond, of course. Walking back to the dorm rooms, I was sore, but happy. It felt good to be one of the guys-- but knowing Darien and his friends were showering compliments on a girl didn't hurt either.

"Did you see Diamond's face when he got that first touchdown?" Zach asked, cracking up again.

"It was priceless!" Jarod exclaimed. "I can't believe it, man. You're totally money! You dominate the sports field, and the ladies!"

Darien laughed and shook his head. "Is all this hype about you for real?" he asked me. I grinned and shrugged my shoulders.

"Of course it's true!" Jarod broke in. "I've seen it myself! You should have seen him when he left home. I'd never seen so many honeys in one spot, and they're were hugging and kissing him like he was going off to war!"

"Yeah, well, your definition of a 'honey' isn't always up to par with ours," Nathan said, laughing.

"Ha ha, very funny! But it just so happens that you admitted to thinking one of the girls was cute not even a month ago!" Jarod pointed out. Nathan scoffed and shook his head.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

Jarod looked triumphant. "You remember those cute waitresses from that café in Richmond?" He gestured towards me and smiled. "He got a kiss from the one with the brown hair!"

I laughed before I could stop myself. "You thought Lita was cute?" I laughed harder as Nathan blushed crimson and turned away.

There was a brief silence and then Darien stepped forward. "You're from Richmond?"

I nodded. "Yeah, born and raised. Why?"

"Do you know the girls from the Comfort Café?" he asked.

I tried to keep myself from smiling. This was getting interesting. "Sure," I answered nonchalantly. "I grew up with them, what's the big deal?"

Malcolm grinned and stepped next to Darien and punched him in the arm playfully. "Darien here has a bit of a crush on one of them. Tried to get her number a while ago, but we had to get back to school. We all were taking summer classes and had to get back for lockdown."

I knew it! My mind shouted excitedly. He did want my number!

"Really?" I asked, feigning ignorance. "Which one was it? There's a few girls that I know that work there."

"Pretty, blonde, she wears a diamond moon pendant." Darien said quickly. "You know her?"

"Serena?" I asked. "Of course I do! She's a good friend of mine," I explained.

Wow, I thought. I'm pretty good at making this stuff up! I tried hard to keep myself from jumping up and down.

"Really? You're kidding!" Darien exclaimed excitedly.

"Nope, it's true," I said, laughing a little.

"Dude, this meeting was totally fate!" Jarod broke in, throwing an arm around my shoulders. "You have to hook this man up," he said gesturing towards Darien. "He's been mooning over that girl since we made him leave without getting her number."

I smiled softly and nodded. "I'll see what I can do," I promised.

"Sounds good," Malcolm said. "But let's get back inside for now. I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving!"

My stomach suddenly let loose a loud growl, and I blushed deeply. "I guess that means you can count me in!" I laughed.

And with that we headed back to the school to get some much-needed rest and relaxation.

"You ready for tomorrow?" Zach asked me as we headed through the double doors that let into the mess hall.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I answered, glancing at Darien from the corner of my eye.

I smiled. He had been trying to get my number! Maybe this charade was worth it. The first day had gone well, I had some great information, and I had made some new friends. All I could do now was hope that I could keep my cover until the end of the semester. 


	6. Chapter 6

The next day my alarm went off at four a.m., rousing me from a deep slumber. I sat up quickly, groggily rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I reached over and hit the digital clock on the nightstand next to me, wincing as Jarod moaned from the other side of the room.

"Dude! It's four in the morning! What are you doing?"

"I, uh, I'm going for a run," I stammered sleepily, throwing my sheet aside. "I like to get an early start," I explained lamely.

"You're hardcore, man." He muttered dreamily, and he fell back asleep. I didn't relax however, until his snores filled the room again.

The guys weren't kidding--Jarod's snoring was unbelievable. I had never heard anything quite like it, but he was lucky I was used to sleeping with a lot of noise. Mina used to joke that I could sleep through a hurricane, and I had to admit I was notorious for sleeping through my alarm clock. However, I didn't have that luxury here, so I had to get up.

I got to my feet quickly, and reached for my robe, towel, and shower basket. I left the room quietly, slowly closing the door behind me. Tiptoeing down the hall, I arrived at the bathroom without waking anyone. Finally breathing easy for the first time since I woke up, I opened the bathroom door and went inside. 

Much to my relief, the room was empty, and the door had a deadbolt on it. Not wanting to take any chances, I locked it and began to undress. When I was finished, I entered the showers and turned on the first faucet. The water fell cold against my skin at first, and immediately I was awake and shivering. As I waited for the temperature to adjust, I began shampooing my hair, determined to get this done as soon as possible. I washed quickly, but I couldn't neglect shaving. Some habits were just too hard to break!

When I was done, I toweled off, and put my robe back on. Making my way over to the mirror, I peered at my reflection. It was strange looking at myself, but knowing no one else saw me the same way. My eyes were the same cornflower blue, my hair was still a golden blonde, but it was so short I really did look like a boy. My face had no make-up, but I was lucky enough not to have really needed it. However, it really did take away the femininity I was so used to seeing. This person looked like me, but didn't look like me. It was as if I had been the twin brother, rather than the twin sister.

All of a sudden I felt so homesick I wanted to cry. I wanted to see Mina when I woke up, go to school with Lita and Amy, hug my dad in the morning. I wanted to look in the mirror and see me, not some stranger… but then I thought of Darien. I thought about how he had looked at me yesterday, how he had admitted to wanting to get my number, and how if I left now, I probably would never see him again. I could almost hear Mina and my friends cheering me on back home, and I realized I had to give this plan more than a one-day trial.

A pounding on the door brought me from my thoughts so swiftly, my heart skipped a beat.

"Hey! Why is this door locked? Some of us have to use the bathroom!" A muffled voice called from the other side.

"Just a minute!" I cried, checking to make sure I looked boyish enough in my massive dark blue robe. Satisfied, I ran to the door, released the deadbolt, and opened it only to find Darien on the other side, looking grumpy and tired in a t-shirt and boxer shorts.

"What did you lock it for?" he asked.

"I wanted some privacy. What are you doing up?" I wondered.

"I couldn't sleep, so I figured I'd get an early start on the day."

"Oh, okay." 

I watched him as he made his way over to the counter to put his stuff down. He looked positively adorable with his ruffled hair and sleepy blue eyes. I smiled knowing that not many other girls probably got to see him this way, but it quickly faded as he began to remove his shorts. Oh dear, I thought. I am NOT ready to see him THAT way!

"Well," I managed, "I guess I better go. See you later!" I called over my shoulder as I tore out of the bathroom.

I reached my room quickly and slammed the door behind me, eliciting a surprised grunt from Jarod. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest I could barely breathe. I had nearly seen Darien naked! All this secrecy was almost too much to handle! If I had any more mornings like this, I highly doubted I was going to last very long in Madison's School for Boys.

My first two classes went relatively well. I knew having micro-biology first period would be a pain, but the teacher proved to be surprisingly funny, even if the material was totally dry. Calculus had proved less than stellar, but then again, my math skills were never that great. I sighed, knowing I'd have to put in a lot of study hours, but Zach was in the class with me, so it wouldn't be so bad.

"Ren! Hey, wait up man!" Someone shouted behind me. I turned around only to see Jarod jogging towards me with Darien in tow.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked, reaching up to loosen my tie a little.

"Not much, where are you headed?" Jarod asked.

"History, room 222. You?"

"Same, and am I glad to hear it! I'll need all the friends I can get in that class." I laughed and shook my head. "Why? What's the matter with it?" I wondered.

Darien grinned. "The teacher hates Jarod. She's had it out for him since freshman year. See, she teaches history, but she's a hardcore feminist, so a lot of her curriculum surrounds the sufferage movement and famous female figures. Jarod made the mistake of saying that Jackie O was the greatest first lady to ever live in the White House."

"I was totally joking!" Jarod exclaimed defensively. "And now she's pegged me as some sexist jerk who likes their women to be seen and not heard!"

"Awww," I crooned with mock sympathy, and Jarod scowled at me. "Don't worry, I'll protect you from the big bad teacher!" I teased.

"Well, either way, we have to leave now. She hates it when you're late," Darien explained, glancing at his wristwatch. 

We turned and headed down the hall towards the room, a little slower than expected due to Jarod's reluctance. Thanks to Darien's warning, I wasn't that surprised when I entered the room and found various framed pictures and posters hanging on the wall of famous suffragist women. I took a seat in the middle of the room, in between Darien and Jarod, and took in my surroundings with interest. I wouldn't call myself a hardcore feminist, but I had always considered myself a strong woman, and I was definitely very appreciative of those that had come before me. All the women on the wall had faced strong opposition in order to achieve rights they believed belonged to everyone. Because of them, I could vote, go to college, or use birth control if I wanted. Thanks to their struggles, I could have a voice. Somehow, I knew I was going to enjoy this class.

As I was surveying my surroundings, a tall, beautiful woman with long red hair walked in. Her manner was brusque and business-like, and I knew at once she was the professor. She stood in front of the room, taking in her students with a look that was decidedly one of disdain, and then cleared her throat and began to speak.

"Good morning gentlemen, my name is Ms. Haruna and this is your senior history class." She turned around and wrote her name on the board in elegant cursive, then turned around and clasped her hands together. "Some of you are new here, and some of you I've already had the pleasure of meeting," her eyes strayed to Jarod at this, and he tried to sink lower into his seat. "For the students that have had me before, you know that this is no ordinary history class. It is no secret on this campus that I take a very different approach to history, but I feel it is one that is necessary for all young men to become familiar with." She paused, and looked down, seeming to collect her thoughts.

"This class is intended to teach you the strength of the individual by revealing the struggles of those who strove for equality for all-- that includes both women and men." She stopped and allowed her words to sink in. "Throughout the year we will be examining major feminist figures, the suffrage movement, women and men's role in the family and workplace, as well as the sexual revolution. I hope you will find this class both informative and enjoyable, but most of all, I hope you will leave this class with a different outlook on life."

She smiled at the class for the first time that morning, and I had to resist smiling back. Everyone around me looked fairly bored, save Darien who was politely paying attention.

"So," Ms. Haruna began, "I guess I'll start off by asking you guys if you know anything at all about the women's rights movement. Are there any names that stick out in your head?"

Nobody said a word. I knew a few, but I felt strange raising my hand. Unfortunately, she took my looking around to be confusion. Naturally, she called on me.

"You," she said, pointing at me. "Mr.…?"

"Johnson, Ren Johnson," I offered politely.

"Yes! Mr. Johnson, can you name one feminist for me?"

I glanced around, but finally gave up and nodded. "Margaret Sanger."

She raised her eyebrows in surprise, but a smile graced her lips. "Very good, Ren. And does anyone know why Margaret Sanger was such an important figure for the Women's Rights Movement?"

No one said anything, and I was about to raise my hand, when Darien suddenly spoke from my right. "She was a strong advocate for birth control. She tried to open a clinic in New York in the early 1900's, but was shut down by the police."

"Correct, Mr. Shields. That is absolutely right! Thank you, you two, I'm glad to see a couple of you are at least slightly informed." 

It came out somewhat sarcastic, but I could tell she was pleased. To be honest, I was more impressed with Darien. Who knew that he would know who Margaret Sanger was? I glanced over at him and smiled to myself. The more I learned about him, the more I liked him. I could only hope that my schedule would allow me to spend even more time in his presence.

I left Ms. Haruna's class feeling pretty good. She made me feel proud to be a woman, but poor Jarod looked miserable. I had to admit, she didn't seem to like him very much, and had made it a point to bring up his Jackie O answer. I looked at him and realized it was probably the only first lady that had come to mind. I smiled.

"Cheer up! If she asks you the question again, just be prepared with a better answer," I said.

"Oh yeah?" He muttered dully. "Like what?"

"I don't know, like Eleanor Roosevelt. I mean, she was one of the strongest women in history, let alone in the White House! I mean, who knows? Maybe she'll ease up on you a bit."

He looked unconvinced, but finally smiled and nodded. "Hey, thanks." He glanced at his watch and frowned. "Ah man! I got Mr. Fender for Art next period. I hate hiking all the way out there! I'll see you guys at lunch, okay?" He asked.

"Sure," Darien and I said together, and Jarod turned and left us, jogging towards the other side of campus.

"Where you headed?" He asked.

"English, and you?"

"Same, Mr. Bowman right?"

I smiled, happy to know I was going to have another class with him. "Yeah."

He grinned back. "Well, let's go then."

I nodded and we began walking, exiting the social science building and heading towards the English Center. We were silent for a while, but I couldn't take that for long.

"So how did you know about Margaret Sanger?" I wondered curiously.

"My mom's really into women's history, and she's a curator at a museum. She used to take me all the time, and I would listen to her lecture tourists about suffragists and those that fought for women's sexual rights. When I was five it really didn't mean much, but it proved handy when I came here." He paused, and frowned a bit. "You know, people don't give Haruna enough credit. She's an awesome teacher, totally passionate about what she does, but because she does teach feminism in her classroom, a lot of guys write her off as some man-hating lesbian."

"Really?" I asked. 

"Yeah. There's all kinds of rumors that go around about her, but I'm sure they're not true. I mean, the great thing about her is that she not only goes into the struggle of women, but also of the men that supported them. She teaches equality, not hatred of the male sex."

I took all this in, surprised at Darien's insight, but shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know, I really liked her. Then again, feminism has never scared me much, but her class has more than just that. She gets so into it, and makes points that even I have never thought about before."

Darien laughed. "That even you haven't thought of before? Are you some sort of expert on women?"

I blushed crimson and turned away. He had no idea… 


	7. Chapter 7

My English class proved to be about as interesting as History. Nathan also had the class with us, but I don't think he remembered much. He began dozing as soon as he sat down, and didn't open his eyes again until the period ended. 

The class itself was pretty fascinating. Mr. Bowman seemed to be like most English teachers with his laid-back manner and slightly scruffy clothing, and I could tell he had probably wanted to be a writer in his youth by the zeal he displayed for literature. That sort of passion is something that never leaves those who possess it, even if finances force them to teach rather than create what they love. I was going to like Bowman. He was intelligent, enthusiastic, and pretty easy on the eyes.

However, as much as I liked him, I did leave his class in a rather sour mood. Darien and Nathan noticed, and inquired about my resentful expression.

"We have to read The Catcher in the Rye!" I muttered bitterly.

"What's wrong with that?" Nathan wondered. I rolled my eyes.

"Holden Caufield is the biggest whiner in American Literature! I can't stand that book! I mean, I know why it's considered great, but I just can't take how Salinger gets that point across. Once you think Holden is finally learning something, he just lets everything he's discovered go down the tubes." I shook my head. "It's a good thing I've already read it, I'm just not looking forward to the essay."

Darien whistled. "Wow, you're really that against the book, huh?"

I blushed and shook my head. "I just think there are better books out there. I'm not saying that this book is terrible for everyone, it's just not good for me." I paused. "Some people can identify with Holden's indecisiveness and tendency to run away from problems, but I just can't. I learned pretty early on that if you try to run away from your problems, they always find you in the end." I felt my eyes cloud over, and swallowed hard, suppressing the urge to cry. Nathan didn't appear to notice, but Darien looked at me with concern.

"Well! I don't know who Holden is, but I'm starving!" Nathan broke in, turning towards the mess hall. "You guys coming?"

"In a minute," Darien said quickly, and waved him off. Nathan shrugged and headed for the mess hall at a slow jog. When he was out of sight, Darien turned towards me, his eyes still filled with worry. "You okay man?"

"Yeah," I answered. "Sorry to get choked up, it happens sometimes. I hope Nathan didn't see anything."

"Naw, he's pretty thick sometimes. I wouldn't worry about it. But what's up, do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head. "It's a long story, and we should probably go eat."

Darien shrugged. "I've got the time, and the food in the mess hall is crap anyway. I mean, do you really want to eat turkey sandwiches on Wonder bread with too much mayo?" He grinned, and starting walking towards the dorms, motioning for me to follow.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"I've got some stuff in my room, and it's a lot better than the junk they serve in the mess hall!"

My eyes grew wide and I stopped short. "Darien, if you have drugs in your room--"

"What?!" he interrupted, his feet sliding to a halt. "Good Lord, no!" He exclaimed, and then started laughing.

"What's so funny?" I asked, slightly fuming.

"It's just that…" He stopped and laughed some more. "Y-You really thought I had…" he trailed off and continued to laugh, shaking his head. Finally he calmed himself and bit and smiled at me gently. "Come on Ren, it's worth it, I promise."

I raised an eyebrow, and finally gave up and followed him. When we did reach his room, I was amazed. He had one to himself-- I knew he and Malcolm both did-- but I didn't expect it to be so neat, or so well-furnished. His bed was a large twin and was set against the left wall along with his dresser. I nearly turned green with envy as my eyes fell upon the stereo and collection of CD's on its surface. Against the right wall, next to his closet, was a large antique mahogany desk with a lamp and laptop on its surface. His closet was bigger than the one Jarod and I had to share, and underneath the window on the far side of the room he had a black leather loveseat. Set on the floor next the couch was a mini-fridge with a microwave set on top. The room's colors consisted mostly of blacks, grays, and a deep red. As I gazed at his crimson comforter, I was reminded of the rose I had picked outside The Comfort Café. It was now laying in the top drawer of my bureau. I struggled to keep my mouth from dropping open, but I couldn't believe this! Compared to my room, Darien's dorm was a palace!

"I know it's a bit much," Darien apologized, obviously embarrassed. "Dad insists on the best, and he shells out the money for it." He shrugged. "I can't say it doesn't have its perks though."

"I'm sure it does, but what are we going to eat?"

"Only man's greatest creation!" Darien exclaimed reverently, reaching under his bed and pulling out a package of chocolate-chip cookies, two paper plates, and two spoons. My mouth instantly watered.

"Oh no way! You're allowed to have those?" I asked excitedly.

"Hey, I bought them, so I can have them. Our weekends are our free time, so if you have a car, you can drive forty miles into the nearest town. It's a long way, but it's so worth it!" He smiled and pulled out four cookies. I reached for them, but he put up his hand. "We're not going to eat them just like this!" He explained patiently, and got up and walked over to the microwave. He then took the cookies and put them in the microwave for thirty seconds.

I looked at him curiously. I had never put my cookies in the microwave before. He noticed my questioning glance and grinned.

Once the time was up he pulled them out, and set them on the floor. Then he opened the fridge and, much to my delight, extracted from the freezer portion a pint of vanilla ice cream. He then took a spoon and placed two scoops of ice cream onto each plate on top of the still steaming cookies. Finally, when I couldn't take it anymore, he handed me a plate, and we both dove in.

"Oh my gosh!" I exclaimed, my mouth full of hot cookie and cold ice cream. "This is awesome! How did you ever think of this?"

"My mom taught me and my sister when we were kids. I guess whenever she got depressed in college, she would eat this stuff." He smiled. "I was hoping it would cheer you up."

I smiled back, resisting the urge to cry again. "Thanks," I murmured. "You're a good friend, Darien."

He shook his head shyly and turned away. "Naw, I just don't like to see people unhappy."

A silence ensued, but somehow it was comfortable. We finished our cookies and ice cream, and settled back, enjoying the peacefulness of our lunch hour. Darien didn't know it, but I fell for him in that period of time. I fell hard, and there was no way I was ever going to get back up.

"So why did you get upset earlier?" Darien asked, sitting up finally.

"It really is a long story," I protested.

"Like I said, I've got the time… Well," he glanced down at his watch, "a half-hour at least. Talk to me." He insisted.

I hesitated. I didn't really want to talk about it, but then again, I did. I never talked about my mom because sometimes it was almost too much to even think about her. I looked up only to see Darien staring at me expectantly, and I smiled softly. . I somehow knew that if there was anyone out there I could share my past with, Darien was that person. I didn't really know him that well, but for some reason I knew I could trust him.

"I was thinking about my mom." I answered finally, laying onto my back.

"Your mom?" he wondered.

"Yeah. She died when I was twelve…" I explained, feeling my eyes begin to water. "It was leukemia, pretty rare for her age group, and it took over too quickly for the doctors to stop it."

"I'm so sorry," he murmured, shaking his head. I didn't answer, I didn't really know what to say, but I went on.

"It was really hard for us, especially for my dad. He and my mom were perfect together-- they used to say they were soul mates. When she died, he changed a lot. He didn't come home very often, he still works all the time, and when he thinks no one's looking, he still cries. My sister and I dealt with it as best as we could, but nothing's really been the same since." I paused, and reached up to wipe the tears before they fell.

"You have a sister?" Darien asked.

"Yeah, a twin sister," I answered before I could stop myself.

Darien smiled. "You guys sound really brave."

I smiled back. "Mina was brave anyway. For a while I just tried to run away from everything. I pretended nothing had happened. I acted as if mom was on vacation and she was coming home soon, but Mina showed me that wasn't the way to go. In the end, my pain caught up with me, and I had to deal with it." My eyes filled again. "Mina saved me from myself by showing me how to cry. I'm more grateful than she'll ever know."

I suddenly felt someone grip my shoulder and I looked up to see Darien staring at me. Suddenly he spoke, what he said almost did make me burst into tears.

"Thanks."

I sniffed and wiped my eyes again. "For what?"

"For letting me in... Most of my friends don't open up that easily, even when I try to help. It took me forever to get Mal to talk to me about anything, and he's my cousin. I guess I just appreciate the trust."

I smiled in spite of myself. "You're welcome."

He nodded and rose to his feet, grabbing his backpack from his bed. "We better get going. Only two more classes to go before we're done for the day, and we shouldn't be late."

I got to my feet too, and grabbed my bag from it's position on the floor. "Hey, Darien?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for listening," I murmured earnestly. "It means a lot, you know?"

"Hey, what are friends for?" He asked, chuckling a little.

I laughed too, but somewhere in my heart, it hurt a little. He was my friend, but he was slowly becoming much more. For the first time, I wished I could be honest with him about who I was. At least I could say what I really felt.

The next few days were a blur. My classes were going well, my friendship with Darien was growing stronger, and I was finally getting used to showering at four a.m. I was having a lot of fun, but by the time Friday came around, I was ready for the weekend. When my last class ended, I cheered inwardly. I'd finally get to relax for the first time since I'd gotten to Madison.

"Hey Ren!" A boy named Melvin called from down the hall. I looked up only to see him standing next to our floor's phone. "You got a call, and it's a girl!"

A few boys hooted as I made my way over, and I felt my cheeks begin to burn. I laughed half-heartedly and took the phone, pressing it to my ear. "Hello?"

"Hey there honey!" Mina squealed from the other end.

"Mina!" I moaned with relief. "I've missed you so much!"

"Oooooh, Mina!" Nathan exclaimed from over my shoulder, and I jumped about three feet. "Your girlfriend on the phone?"

"Ha ha," I said sarcastically, recovering quickly. "It's my sister doofus, so beat it!"

"Geez, Ren!" He whined in mock hurt. "I was only kidding!"

I scowled at him, and turned away. "So how is everything?" I asked.

"Fine, we all miss you a lot though, especially Dad."

"Really?" I asked. "I somehow thought he wouldn't have noticed."

"Don't be like that 'Rena, of course he notices. He loves you very much," Mina chided.

"I know." I said softly, then cleared my throat, determined to change the subject. "Listen, everything's going great here, I'm making a lot of um… progress."

"Really! Are you serious? Have you already talked to you-know-who?"

I smiled to myself. "You could say that."

"Are you serious?! Oh you are so mean! I want details!" she exclaimed impatiently.

I laughed. "I'm not exactly at liberty to disclose anything at the moment. If you want details, you'll just have to come and see me."

"Can I do that?" she wondered.

"Sure, just come up one weekend. Darien's got a car, so we all could go into town and see a movie or something." I grinned wickedly. "There's enough room for everyone, if you know what I mean."

"You are so bad!" She exclaimed. "But I'll just have to see if the girls can made some time, okay?" She paused and I could hear her talking to someone in the background.

"Are you busy?" I asked.

"A little," she admitted.

"Where are you?" There was a sudden pause on the other end, and I grew worried that the line had cut out. "Mina?"

"I'm still here."

"Where are you?" I persisted, realizing the pause had been intentional.

"Well, you see, when you left the Comfort Café, Andrew was short one server, so… He kinda gave me your job." She explained sheepishly.

"My job? You mean, you're at work right now? And on the phone?" I cried.

"Yeah, and Andrew's pretty mad at me too!" She giggled.

"Mina, get off the phone and get to work. I'll call you later--you know, when you're free and not doing a terrible job of taking over my position?"

She laughed and I laughed too. "Okay sis, I love you okay? And good luck with you-know-who!"

"Thanks, love you too."

"Bye!"

"Bye."

I hung up feeling happy, but somewhat homesick. It had been so good to hear Mina's voice, but it made me miss home pretty badly. It was nice to know my dad was thinking of me, but it only made me want to be closer to family even more. I sighed, wishing there was some way I could've pulled this stunt closer to home.

"Was that your sister?" Someone suddenly spoke from behind me. I turned and saw Darien leaning against the hallway.

"Yeah," I answered sadly. "It was good to hear from her, but it makes me miss home."

He nodded. "I know what you mean. I miss my mom and dad like crazy, but it's not so bad. I actually have some family close by, and it definitely makes it easier."

"Really?" I wondered. "Who?"

"My little sister Raye."

I smiled. "You didn't tell me you had a sister."

Darien blushed. "She goes to Madison's School for Girls, right across the pond," he explained. "In fact, I was trying to find you and ask if you'd be interested in joining us tonight. It's no big deal, just me, Jarod, Nate, Mal, and Zach are heading down to the lake to hang out with some girls. I dunno, I thought you'd might like to come."

I smiled. "That would be great, I'd love to."

Darien grinned. "Awesome! We're leaving in an hour, so I'll see you then okay?" He asked.

"All right, sounds good." I agreed, picking up my bag and heading back to my room.


	8. Chapter 8

_Well, here's Chapter 8 everyone! This is more of a set-up chapter for what is yet to come, but I hope you all enjoy! Thanks again for all the feedback, and hopefully I'll have some more out to you guys soon!_

* * *

I got dressed quickly, pulling on a pair of loose-fitting jeans and a sweatshirt. It had become much easier for me to change in the bedroom, all owing to the fact that I now wore a white t-shirt and boxers under everything! However, Jarod still surprised me when he came barging in, looking extremely nervous.

"Hey," he grunted, removing his jacket and shirt and tossing them on his bed.

"Hey, what's up?" I inquired. "You okay?"

"What?" he asked, distracted. "Oh. Yeah, I'm okay, a stressful day you know?"

I smiled. "I hear that."

He didn't smile back and instead began to tear through his drawer, tossing clothes over his shoulder and onto the ground. He growled low in his throat, obviously not finding what he was looking for, and ripped open another drawer only to repeat the previous process. I raised an eyebrow. What the heck was going on?

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"YES!" He exclaimed, exasperated. "I just had a crazy day and now I can't find anything to wear!"

I glanced down at my casual attire and then back at Jarod. "Is it that big of a deal? I mean, we're just going to the lake right?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his blonde hair, his blue eyes filled with frustration. "Sure, yeah, I just like to look nice, that's all."

I suddenly pictured Jarod how he looked just that morning, racing from the room with his shirt buttoned wrong and his tie askew, and resisted the urge to grin. There must be a girl at the lake. That was the only thing that could ever make Jarod nervous enough to care about what he was wearing.

"Well, do you have any button-down short sleeved shirts?" I asked.

"Sure, I've got a few white ones."

I smiled. "Good, wear one of those. How about jeans?"

He reached down and lifted a pair of extremely baggy blue jeans and I shook my head. "Anything smaller?"

He grimaced and reached into his bottom drawer, pulling out a pair of dark blue, boot-cut wranglers. I could tell by the look on his face that any sort of tight jean seemed nerdy to him--but while he was seeing a geek, I was seeing Brad Pitt. I smiled.

"Those are the ones," I said finally.

He looked at me incredulously. "Are you serious? My mom gave those to me!"

I reached into my closet and pulled out a belt with a large buckle and tossed it over to him.

"Trust me."

* * *

Ten minutes later I was walking out of the room with Jarod reluctantly in tow. My female eye told me he looked gorgeous, but obviously he was going to need more convincing.

"Are you sure about this?" he whispered furiously. "I've never worn anything this tight in my life!"

I grinned. "Hey, I'm the babe magnet remember? I wear jeans like that all the time. Trust me, the ladies love it."

He still looked unsure, but I guess he must have remembered how enthusiastic all the girls back home had been when I left, because he didn't turn around and change. I smiled and motioned for him to hurry up, and together we plodded down the stairs and met Darien at the bottom. He took one look at Jarod and whistled appreciatively.

"Nice jeans man, I didn't know you had style!" He teased. Jarod blushed crimson and shot a glare at me.

"Ren, I'm gonna kill--" he began.

"No man, I'm serious!" Darien interrupted quickly. "You really look good, like a movie star or something. It's brave, but the girls are going to dig it!" He shook his head, laughing. "I'm almost jealous!"

He shouldn't have been. With his loose-fitting jeans and tight dark blue t-shirt, he looked nothing short of incredible. His style was very urban, but that's what I liked, and it was getting hard not to stare. Jarod broke me from these thoughts, however, by clapping me on the shoulder.

"It's all thanks to this little Backstreet Boy here. He's the one with the style."

I blushed, knowing I looked more like a bum on 5th avenue rather than a runway model, but I was flattered. I grinned. A Backstreet Boy huh? I guess with my short hair, my baby face, and my big blue eyes, I probably did resemble a member of a boy band.

"So, you guys ready to go?" Darien asked.

"Yeah."

"Okay, Mal, Nate, and Zach are already waiting outside, so let's go."

* * *

Fifteen minutes later we were approaching the lake that separated Madison's School for Boys from the only girls within fifty miles. From where I was standing, I could see a large bonfire surrounded by a dozen girls laughing and talking. I smiled. Finally, I was on common ground! As we got closer, a gorgeous girl with long black hair suddenly glanced up and grinned at us. Wow, I thought, she is so beautiful.

She rose to her feet and came toward us, her graceful walk completely alluring. I heard Jarod gasp from his position next to me, and I smiled inwardly. So she was the reason he had been so nervous earlier! I moved my focus back to her and took in her violet eyes and perfect features. No wonder!

"Darien!" she suddenly called, and then I realized who she was.

"That's your sister?" I sputtered.

Darien laughed. "Yeah."

She finally reached us and enveloped her brother in a huge hug. When she pulled away, her eyes fastened on me and widened with curiosity.

"Who's your friend?" She wondered.

"I'm Ren," I answered, before Darien could say anything. "It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise," she said, offering her hand while throwing me a flirtatious smile. "I'm Raye."

"Raye's the prettiest girl across the lake," Nathan explained to me, grinning a bit. Raye blushed in response and shook her head.

"Hey Raye-ster! How's it going?" Jarod suddenly broke in, doing a terrible imitation of a New Yorker. "You gonna go out wit me yet?"

She laughed and looked away. "When pigs fly," she answered sarcastically.

Jarod laughed it off, but I could tell her remark had stung. Poor guy, but it was kind of his own fault. He was totally giving her the friendship vibe. If he ever wanted to get her attention, he was going to have to lay off the jokes for a while. I could tell Raye wanted someone a little more serious, and little more sensitive. I was going to have to give Jarod some pointers.

"OH MY GOSH! Is that Darien Shields?" A shrill voice suddenly broke in. I winced, and turned around only to see a tall, beautiful, red-headed girl making her way towards us. "Raye! Why didn't you tell me your brother was going to be here!" She protested, smiling widely at Darien. From where I was standing, her white teeth appeared almost predatory.

"Oh, gee, it must've slipped my mind," Raye muttered.

"Oh Raye, you just wanted to tease me didn't you?" She simpered, and Raye responded with a fiery glare. "She's a riot, isn't she Darien?"

Darien smiled grimly. "Hey Beryl," he said quietly.

"Is that all you can say?" She asked, finally coming to a stop in front of him. "I don't get a hug?" She pouted her full red lips, and placed a hand on one full hip. Darien shrugged, but she ignored his slightly apathetic attitude and pressed herself into his arms.

My mouth fell open. Was this girl for real? I took in her curvy body and seemingly endless legs. She was a girl's nightmare-- a walking sex pot-- and it that dress she had the power to do anything! I groaned inwardly. I didn't stand a chance against this girl! So, needless to say, I wasn't too surprised when Darien wrapped his arms around her in response.

"See?" She whispered in his ear. "That's the Darien I remember." Her green eyes moved to the bonfire, and she motioned her head towards it. "Sit with me?"

He sighed and nodded, allowing her to pull him towards the flames that were growing larger and larger. My eyes followed them disbelievingly, and suddenly I had to fight back tears. If he was so into Beryl, how could he have been mooning over me?

My thoughts were broken as Malcolm suddenly swore something under his breath. I looked up only to see him staring after Darien and Beryl, his face filled with anger. As I glanced around, I noticed all his friends were wearing the same expressions.

"Who was that girl?" I finally asked.

"Beryl Lagrie." Raye answered. "My brother's ex-girlfriend."

"Ex, huh? It looks to me like they just made up." I muttered.

Raye shook her head sadly in response. "He's been trying to get over her for the past year, but she loves having the best-looking boy in school to herself. He's her trophy, you know? He gives her bragging rights." She growled in frustration. "I hate her guts!"

"We all do," Zach piped in.

We stared after them for a while, and then made our way down to the lake's shore. I really couldn't take sitting by Darien while Beryl was all over him, so I sat apart from the others, watching Jarod make an ass out of himself in front of Raye. I shook my head and smiled. He really did need help, especially if he thought arm-pit farts were the way to a girl's heart. I sighed and leaned back into the grass, gazing at the stars above me.

"You okay?"

I opened my eyes only to come face-to-face with Raye. I smiled a little. "Yeah, I'm fine," I answered.

She grinned and laid back next to me. "Then why are you sitting all by yourself? I know Beryl's wearing a lot of perfume, but it's not that noxious!" She joked, and I laughed a little. "No, really, what's bothering you? You miss home?"

"Yeah," I admitted. "I miss it a lot."

"So why did you come to Madison? I mean, your senior year's a pretty big deal. Wouldn't you want to spend it with your friends?"

"I guess I needed a change," I answered. I nearly smiled, knowing that was the biggest understatement of the year! "But, you're right-- I do miss my friends and family. Everyday I wake up and wonder if I did the right thing in coming here."

"Do you think it was worth it?" she asked.

I was silent for a moment, and I glanced over to see Beryl throw an arm around Darien's shoulders. I cringed. "I don't know."

She suddenly sat up, and looked down at me. "Listen, I know thing's don't seem that great right now, but Madison can be a really great place." She grinned, lighting up her entire face. "Especially if you know the right people."

I nodded, looking over at Jarod, Mal, Nate, and Zach. "Yeah, I'm starting to figure that out."

Our conversation was suddenly broken by Beryl's piercing laugh. Raye and I instinctively flinched, shaking our heads.

"What does he see in her?" I wondered.

Raye shrugged. "I don't know, she's beautiful. Not too many guys can resist a beautiful girl. Plus, Beryl's as much a trophy for him as he is for her."

"Is that all he's after?" I asked.

Raye paused for a moment, and then shook her head. "No, Darien's better than that. He and Beryl just have a lot of history. They've been dating since they were in middle school, and our families are very close. I guess it was just always expected that they be together, and for a while even I didn't mind." She sighed. "You see, Beryl used to be normal. I mean, she was always pretty, but she didn't show it off that much. When she hit high school though, she started hanging out with the wrong crowd. It wasn't too long before she became somebody none of us recognized, but Darien had a lot of trouble letting her go."

"She hurt him, didn't she?" I asked.

"Yeah. She's cheated on him three times, but he still holds on to the memory of what she used to be. The thing he won't realize is that Beryl's never going to be the girl we knew." Raye said bitterly. "She's gotten a taste for power and she's won't let it go for anyone, not even my brother."

"I feel sorry for her," I said suddenly. Raye started, and turned towards me, obviously a little surprised.

"Me too," she murmured.

I smiled gently at her, and we sat in silence for a few moments.

"Listen," she suddenly broke in, and I sat up. "I don't usually do this, but you seem like a nice guy, and I want to make you feel more at home here."

"Thanks, Raye!" I answered earnestly. "But what did you have in mind?"

"Well, you see, there's this dance coming up in two weeks that's held between our schools. I was wondering if you'd like to go…with me." She said quietly, and for the first time that night, she appeared to be shy.

"Oh! What about Jarod?" I blurted, without even thinking.

"Jarod?" She asked, confusion filling her face. "What does he have to do with anything?"

Uh oh, now I've done it! Think of something quick! "Oh, I just heard that he might want to ask you," I said quickly.

"Oh, no, he wouldn't want to ask me," Raye said, a blush creeping into her cheeks. "We're just friends, and I'm sure he's already got someone lined up. Besides, you don't know anyone yet, and I think we'd have fun!"

I hesitated. Jarod was my friend, and I could already tell he was really into Raye, but he would never get the guts to ask her himself! Maybe there was some way I could salvage this situation without hurting her feelings. I glanced up only to find her staring at me expectantly, and finally I made a decision.

"Okay," I answered. "Sounds great."

"Cool," she breathed a sigh of relief. "Don't worry, I won't make you feel weird or anything, it's totally just as friends, even if I do think you're really cute!"

I felt my cheeks begin to burn. Oh God…

"Thanks," I murmured, trying not to look at her.

She laughed. "No problem!"

Before we could say anything else, Malcolm walked over and announced that we had to go. I rose to my feet and helped Raye up. She smiled at me with appreciation and I was again struck by how pretty she was. Jarod sure did know how to pick them; Raye was definitely a keeper.

"I'll give you a call later at the dorms and we can work out the details," she said quickly.  
"Details for what?" Nathan asked, joining us.

"Ren's going to be my date for the Homecoming Dance," she explained.

"Wow!" Mal whistled, stepping back and fastening me with an admiring gaze. "You really do work fast!"

"Work fast for what?"

I turned reluctantly, already knowing who it was. Jarod was going to kill me!

"Ren's got himself a date for Homecoming," Malcolm stated, folding his arms across his broad chest.

Jarod's eyes widened noticeably, realizing who my date had to be, and I winced as a myriad of emotions passed through his blue eyes.

"That's cool, dude." He finally said, but I could hear the coldness in his voice.

"Oh!" Raye suddenly interrupted, turning towards him and smiling brightly. "I almost forgot to tell you that you look really good tonight. I almost didn't recognize you when you walked up!"

Jarod didn't look as pleased as I would have hoped, and instead turned to me. "Ren did it."

Raye laughed. "I should have known!"

I closed my eyes and tried to keep myself from groaning. Why did she have to say that? I opened them only to find Jarod glowering at me, and I sighed. This was going to be an interesting night. My date for the dance was a girl, Darien was all over another woman, and Jarod was mad at me. Was anything else going to go wrong?

_Love it? Hate it? Review please!_


	9. Chapter 9

_Here's Chapter 9, I hope you like it, and I hope I get more time to write this story. Thanks so much for all the feedback, it definitely keeps me going! Anyway, enjoy._

* * *

We walked back to the school in silence. I could tell Darien was deep in thought over Beryl, Jarod no doubt was still stewing over my date with Raye, and the rest of the guys were simply smart enough to keep their mouths shut. I sighed, knowing I had to fix this rift before one of my closest friends stopped talking to me all together.

There was an uncomfortable quiet when Jarod and I got back to our room. He busied himself with picking up the mess of clothes he had left behind, while I stood in the middle of the room and stared at him expectantly. Finally, when he could take no more, he turned around and frowned at me.

"What?" He snarled.

"You're mad at me," I stated flatly.

"I am not. Why would I be?"

I raised my eyebrows. "You like Raye, don't you?" I asked, skipping right to the point.

"What?" He exclaimed, totally surprised. "I do not!"

"Then why are you so pissed at me?" I wondered.

He sighed, completely frustrated. "I already told you, I'm not mad at you!" He insisted.

I rolled my eyes. This was going nowhere! "Look," I began, "I don't like her, okay? She was just doing me a favour… You know, trying to make me feel more comfortable in a place I've never been before? I mean, that's what you did, right?"

He scoffed, running a hand through his blonde hair. "Yeah, you really needed my help!" He said sarcastically.

"Look, I already told you, I don't like her!" I growled. "But I want to help you out, because it's totally obvious you do!"

"I do not!" He insisted, but I saw the blush creep into his cheeks before he turned away. I smiled.

"Look, don't play stupid with me. Do you want my help or not? I'm really good at this sort of thing, and trust me, she only asked me to go as a friend," I persisted.

He stared at me mistrustfully. "Yeah, right. Raye would never go out with me…"

"So you do like her!" I exclaimed, laughing.

He shrugged, completely embarrassed. "Sure I like her. She's sweet, funny, and beautiful. And she'll never go for me…" He sighed. "Look, I'm sorry I got jealous, but I haven't been able to get her attention for three years." He looked away. "I guess it hurt to see that you had gotten it in three hours. Hell, you even did it in a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt!"

I smiled at him. "You know, it has nothing to do with clothes. You treat her like a friend, so that's how she sees you. You're a good-looking guy, and you are really funny, but you have to let her know how you feel."

He shook his head. "Naw, I can't do that."

I sighed heavily and raised my fingers to my temples. "Look, I'm not talking about a huge profession of love! I just want you to flirt with her a little bit, tell her she looks beautiful every once in a while, treat her like a lady instead of a friend."

"But I thought that's what girls wanted, a friend."

"They do," I quickly reassured him. "But they also want a guy who's going to desire them more than a friend. You're not giving Raye the feeling that you're interested because you're acting like her buddy. How is she supposed to know how you feel if you never compliment her and do armpit farts in her presence?"

He blushed. "I guess I never looked at it that way."

I smiled. "Well, why do you think I want to help you? I mean, that's what friends are for, right?"

Jarod chuckled softly. "Yeah, I guess."

"Look, I know it seems hard to do, but you can consider me as your model. I'll show you how it's done, and along the way I'll drop her lots of hints," I promised solemnly.

"You'd really do that for me?"

I laughed. "Of course I would! You're the first friend I made here, and you're my roommate. The last thing I need to do is piss you off!"

He laughed too, and shook his head. "You really think you can do this?"

I grinned wickedly. "Trust me."

* * *

Jarod fell asleep quickly, but unconsciousness eluded me. I couldn't get the image of Darien and Beryl out of my head! How could I possibly compete with her? She was gorgeous, sophisticated, and most importantly, he knew she was a girl… I sighed. When I started this thing, I didn't even consider the possibility of him being in love with someone else. I was beginning to wonder what I was still doing here.

Knowing I wasn't going to get any sleep with all this on my mind, I got up and left the room. The hallway was dark, but I started down it anyway, determined to at least walk out my confused emotions. Suddenly, I collided with a hard body and nearly fell to the floor, when two strong arms lashed out of the blackness and encircled my waist. My rescuer pulled me up, gasping harshly.

"Are you okay?" He asked, releasing me from his tight grip. "I didn't see you there."

"Darien? Is that you?" I asked the shadow in front of me.

"Ren? You scared the crap out of me!" He chuckled softly. "Can't sleep?"

I shook my head. "No, I've got a lot on my mind."

The shadow in front of me nodded. "Me too." He paused, as if wondering if he should say something, then pressed on. "Listen, I was just heading up to the roof to do some thinking. You want to come with me?"

I hesitated. I had a feeling he wanted to discuss Beryl, and I didn't know if I could take him praising her at the moment. Still, from the sound of his voice I could tell he needed to talk.

"Sure," I finally answered.

"Thanks," he breathed. "I really need to talk to someone right now." He turned around and I saw him motion for me to follow. "The stairs are over here, be quiet though, I don't want to wake anyone."

"Okay," I whispered, staying right on his heels.

Darien led me to a large oak door at the end of the hall. After fumbling through his pockets, he produced a key that gleamed silver from the moonlight shining through the window next to us. He unlocked the door quickly and winced as it squeaked open. Pulling a finger to his lips, he signalled me to be quiet, and we headed through the door and up the stairs behind it. A moment later we reached a dusty attic that was dimly lit by soft light streaming through the windows. Darien moved towards the centre of the room, and with practised ease, lifted his arm and pushed at a small door in the roof. Suddenly, his features were illuminated with moonlight, and my breath caught. He looked beautiful, and so ethereal… He was like a dream.

"Are you coming?" he whispered, and I snapped out of it.

"Yeah," I murmured, trying to quiet my pounding heart.

"I'll need to give you a boost," he said softly, as I reached his side.

He cupped his hands and motioned for me to step into them. I did, and he gently lifted me up, pushing me through the opening above. I braced myself on the wood around me and pulled myself the rest of the way. As soon as I had cleared the trap door, Darien leapt from the floor below and caught himself the sides of the opening. With catlike grace his pulled himself the rest of the way and joined me on the rooftop. We sat for a moment in silence, staring at the night sky stretching endlessly above us, and then Darien closed the trap door. He turned and smiled at me.

"Great place, huh?"

I laid back until my shoulders touched the rough wood underneath me. I raised my eyes to the glowing, gentle white of the moon surrounded by a pale ring of light. "It's beautiful," I whispered.

Darien followed my eyes and smiled. "It is," he agreed. "I come up here a lot to think, especially at night. I don't usually sleep very well, and this puts me at peace."

We were silent again, taking in the soft quiet of the night, but Darien finally broke it.

"So what did you think of Beryl?"

I looked away, suddenly wishing I hadn't agreed to come up here. "I don't know," I answered softly. "I didn't really get a chance to talk to her. She seems to think a lot of you though…" I said bitterly.

He smiled grimly. "I guess." He sighed. "I never know what she's thinking anymore. Every year it's a different: a different situation, a different person, or a different guy"  
"Why do you stay with her?" I asked.

"Don't ask me. My friends hate her, my sister hates her; everyone's always telling me to forget about her…" He trailed off, and looked me right in the eye. "It's like she's got some sort of spell on me whenever I'm around her. She's usually my world until she's out of sight, but something changed at the bonfire."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know… I guess tonight was the first time I saw her for what she really was. I mean, she's beautiful and all, but that's really all she is." He exhaled slowly, and cast his eyes downward. "My eyes were suddenly opened, and I realized I didn't want her anymore. I finally understood the girl I loved was gone, and she wasn't going to come back."

I stared at him, knowing he was telling me the truth, and I struggled to keep myself from smiling.

"Really?" I whispered hopefully. "Yeah," He murmured, raising his eyes to mine. "And you know something?"

"What?"

"You had something to do with it." He paused, searching for the right words. "I remember watching you talk to Raye, seeing your eyes, and suddenly realizing Beryl wasn't what I wanted anymore. Pretty crazy, huh?" He asked.

"Yeah," I murmured. "Crazy."

"I dunno, I guess I'm glad I ran into you downstairs. You were the one I really wanted to talk to. I don't know, I almost want to thank you or something." He laughed gently, and I smiled back.

"Thanks for showing me this place," I said.

He grinned. "It's the best view on campus!"

"Yeah," I whispered, and laid back again.

The air was a little chilly, and a gentle wind suddenly blew over me, making my skin break out in gooseflesh. I shivered a little, and sat up only to notice clouds approaching in the distance.

"Looks like it's going to rain tomorrow," I said softly.

"How do you know? Those could be just clouds," Darien pointed out.

I glanced at the soft white ring around the moon. "There's a fairy-ring tonight. Trust me, it'll rain tomorrow."

He sat up and smiled at me, but then his expression turned strange. I frowned.

"What? What is it?" I wondered.

He shook his head, and looked away. "Nothing, you just looked different for a second there."

My eyes widened and my heart skipped a beat. "What do you mean?"

"It's nothing," he said dismissively. "It must have been the shadows, that's all."

"Oh," I said with relief. "I must have looked pretty scary, huh?"

"Naw," he said, chuckling a little. "Actually, you kind of looked like a girl."

I felt my stomach drop into my knees, and tried to keep my breathing normal. What do I say to that? What do I do?

Finally, I laughed. "Okay… Very funny!" I said sarcastically, hoping to keep the fear from my voice.

Darien laughed too. "Hey, I said it was the shadows!"

The wind suddenly picked up again, and our awkward moment was broken as we both gasped and started shivering. "We better go back inside," I suggested, my teeth chattering.

"Yeah, I'm tired anyway." He lifted the latch of the trapdoor, but before slipping through, he looked back at me. "Thanks for coming up here with me, Ren."

I smiled. "Anytime."

He grinned back and lowered himself into the darkness below. While I waited for him to hit the ground, I breathed a sigh of relief. My cover had nearly been blown, but the night had ended pretty well… Jarod wasn't mad at me, Darien was over Beryl, and for a brief moment, he had even seen me as a girl. It seemed as if all hope wasn't lost, but I knew I was going to have a rough couple of weeks ahead of me.

* * *

The next two weeks went by very quickly, but they were probably the most stressful of my entire life. Haruna had given us a massive research assignment due the Friday before the dance, and even laid-back Mr. Bowman joined in on the homework trend. I had reluctantly started his paper on The Catcher in the Rye first, but Haruna's assignment kept drawing me away from it. Defining women's sexuality throughout the ages was a fascinating assignment, and consequently took up a lot of my writing time.

In between all of this, I was getting fitted for a tux--a horrifying ordeal if you're trying to hide your sexuality--as well as planning the details for the dance. It was sort of fun… Raye called me everyday, I was getting to have a little "girl time," and I was dropping her hints about Jarod while I was at it.

I had started with the first weekend. Most of the time had been spent pointing out Jarod's clothes, or telling her nice things he had said about her, or mentioning several times how he was a handsome, single guy in search of a nice girl. Strangely enough, however, she didn't seem to be picking up on them… My attempts at pointing out his blossoming style had produced less reaction than I had originally hoped. I figured I was being too subtle, and had tried the more obvious approach that he was an awesome guy in search of a great girl…

This, however, had only given her the idea that she should set him up with a friend. It was a little bit frustrating, but I figured she just had self-esteem issues, or she still saw him as only a friend. All I needed was a little more time, and a bit more persuasion. Too bad it was getting harder to explain that to Jarod. He was beginning to think Raye was getting feelings for the wrong guy--which was completely ridiculous!

On top of all this, I found out Darien wasn't going to be there. Wanting to be true to what he had told me on the roof that night, he had called Beryl the next day and cancelled their date for the dance. I should have been thrilled, but I was a little sad. I wanted to see him dressed up, but at the same time, I couldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.

All this stuff was fun, but pretty taxing, so the Thursday before the dance found me completely exhausted. I had finished Haruna's assignment, but had barely started Bowman's. I was going to have to pull my third all-nighter in a row, and I definitely wasn't looking forward to it.

"Hey Ren, there's someone on the phone for you!" Nate called from the other end of the room. "I think it's Raye!"

I raised my head reluctantly and nodded. "Coming," I muttered drowsily.

"Hurry up, man!" Jarod called from the other end of the hall, his face tightly controlled. "Molly's supposed to call me soon to let me know what I'm supposed to wear."

I frowned, immediately bristling at his attitude. He was going to the dance with his friend Molly, but he didn't seem too excited about it. Lately he had been really mistrustful, and it was getting really old. Raye was my date to the dance, but I was also in the process of wooing her in his name. He could at least seem grateful! I shook my head, determined to ignore his grim expression, and picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ren! It's Raye," came a cheery voice from the other end.

"Hey, what's up?" I yawned.

"Not much, I just wanted to see how you were, and how your tux was coming along."

"I was fitted yesterday," I answered, shuddering at the memory of the tailor's pushy fingers. "I got the red vest you wanted."

"Awesome!" She exclaimed, and I had to smile. I may have been tired, but I was pretty excited too. "I bet it'll match perfectly with my dress!"

"What does it look like?" I asked curiously.

"Oh no," she warned. "I'm not going to tell you anything about it, except that it's red. It's really pretty though. I had to special order it to make sure nobody bought the same one!" She giggled.

"I'm sure you'll look beautiful," I assured her, grinning to myself. "You look great no matter what you wear."

"Thanks, Ren…" she whispered softly. "That really means a lot to me."

My face heated up quickly and I realized my mistake. Compliments from a girl were usually strictly platonic, but Raye thought I was a boy, and what I just said could mean a multitude of things. Oh God!

"Ren? Ren, are you there?" She asked, and I snapped out of it.

"H-Hey, I really have to go," I sputtered. "I have this huge project to do, and--"

"It's okay!" She interrupted. "I actually have to go to, but I'll see you tomorrow. I…I'm really looking forward to it," she said shyly.

I closed my eyes tightly, and grimaced. "Yeah, me too."

"I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Wouldn't miss it!" I said nervously.

"Okay," she laughed. "Bye!"

"Bye."

I hung up the phone feeling a little queasy. If I didn't know any better, I would say Raye had a crush on me! Maybe Jarod was right… She had sounded so strange on the phone… No! I shook my head, and banished those thoughts. We're just friends, I told myself silently. We're going to the dance together, and she likes Jarod.  
I gulped. At least, that's what I hoped was going on.

_

* * *

A little short, but I promise more soon!_

_Like it? Hate it? Review please!_


	10. Chapter 10

_Hey everyone! I really wanted to thank you guys for the reviews, and I wanted to let everyone know that I'll be updating much more regularly now! I've been doing pretty well on Arias.inc, but it's been brought to my attention that I should update as much on as I am on the other site! Anyway, I hope you enjoy Chapters 10 and 11, and hopefully I'll have more out soon!_

* * *

I was really nervous when Friday night finally rolled around. My assignments were done, my tux was ready, Darien wasn't going with Beryl, but Jarod was barely speaking to me. It was frustrating, but a part of me really couldn't blame him. After all, I would be pretty angry too if my crush was constantly calling someone other than me. I had to straighten things out with Raye, and fast!

I sighed as I tried for the fourth time to loop my bowtie correctly. It was times like these I wished my mom had taught me to fasten a man's tie. I swallowed hard, trying not to think about the fact that she would never get a chance to teach me.

"Need help?" Jarod growled from the other side of the room as I let out another irritated groan.

"Yeah," I admitted. "That'd be great."

He got up from his bed, and I had to resist smiling. Jarod looked awesome, but my smile faltered as I realized he didn't look very happy. He crossed the room quickly and took hold of my tie, pulling it forward roughly.

"Easy," I gasped, but he ignored me and continued to jerk it into place.

"Excited about tonight?" he asked grimly.

"I guess. You?" I asked, trying to keep the conversation light.

"Sure, Molly's a good friend, but she's not exactly my crush, is she? Nope, my crush happens to be going with my FRIEND!" He snarled, accentuating his angry words with another sharp tug.

"Take it easy! Remember, I'm doing this for YOU!" I retorted. "I don't like her, okay?"

"Well, she sure seems to like you!" He barked, pulling my tie together with a powerful squeeze, nearly cutting off my air supply. "There, you're finished."

"Thanks," I wheezed, managing to loosen it a bit.

"Don't mention it," he muttered, and started towards the door.

"Jarod, wait!" I pleaded, and he turned around. "I really don't like her, and whether you believe me or not, I'm still trying to get her for you. I swear I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize our friendship!"

He shook his head. "You can get any girl, man. Just don't take mine, okay?"

I smiled. "I won't, I promise."

He smiled back, but I could still see uncertainty in his eyes. I opened my mouth to say something else, but he left the room before I could get chance. I sighed and glanced in the mirror, grimacing at my image.

"Jarod! You made it crooked!" I shouted.

"He's down the hall," A warm voice answered from behind me. I smiled and turned around, only to see Darien leaning against the doorway. He chuckled softly. "Did he leave you hanging?"

I laughed. "Yeah. I can't tie this thing, so I asked him to help, and--well…" I glanced down at the result of his handiwork.

Darien grinned. "Things haven't exactly been going smoothly with you two, have they?"

I shrugged. "Not really. He's worried that I like…" I trailed off, not knowing if Darien knew Jarod's secret or not.

"That you like Raye?" He finished, and chuckled softly at my surprised expression. "Don't worry, most of us know about Jarod's little crush, except Raye of course." He frowned. "You know, Jarod is my friend, and normally I support him with everything, but I think his jealousy is unfounded with you. You've proven yourself to be a great friend so far, and I don't think a girl would turn you into anything different."

I smiled wryly. "Try telling him that." I sighed. "Don't get me wrong, I think your sister is beautiful, but she's really not my type."

"Oh really?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "And what is?"

You, my mind whispered, and I tried to battle the blush rising in my cheeks. "I don't know, I don't think I've found it yet." I lied.

"What about one of your friends? You hang out with some really pretty girls, right?"

I laughed. "They are beautiful," I admitted, "but I've known them too long. It would be like dating my sisters."

Ain't it the truth, I thought to myself, and tried to resist grinning. "What about you?" I wondered, ready to take notes, if necessary.

"I don't know. Physically I've always been attracted to girls like Beryl…" He said quietly, and I felt my heart sink. "But," he added, "tastes change, and I'm pretty sure I have a new ideal."

"Really?" I asked. "Like who?"

He smiled. "Well, like your friend."

"Serena?" I asked hopefully.

"Yeah," he confessed.

"But you barely know her," I pointed out. "How can you be sure?"

He didn't answer for a few moments, but then he looked up at me, his expression thoughtful. "Have you ever met someone, and suddenly you can't breathe? It's like the whole world stops around you, and you're eyes are focused only on that person?"

I smiled. "Yeah, I know exactly what you mean."

He smiled back at me and started forward. "It's like you've met them before, and even though you know better than to believe in love at first sight, you can't stop looking."

My heart began to pound in my chest as he came closer, and I suddenly felt dizzy. How could he know exactly how I had felt the moment I had seen him?

"Yes," I whispered.

"Well, that's how I felt when I saw Serena. I spent less than an hour with her, barely spoke ten sentences, but I was willing to pursue her when I had never given anyone else a second glance." He sighed. "I wish I could see her again, just so I could be sure what I was feeling was real."

"You will," I murmured, before I could stop myself.

"Really?" He wondered excitedly. "You think so?"

I snapped out of it, and smiled nervously. "Yeah, sure."

Get a hold of yourself, I chastised. Stop getting lost in his blue eyes! Focus!

He grinned and moved closer. "You know, Jarod's not the only one who knows how to tie a tie."

I laughed nervously and nodded. "Really?"

He nodded and stepped in front of me, startling me a little by reaching forward and fumbling with my tie. I relaxed after a moment, and stared at his face while he concentrated. I discreetly took in his strong jaw line, well-formed nose, high cheekbones, and finally allowed my eyes to drop to his full lips. They looked so soft, and anything that had come from them had been so gentle. I had never wanted to kiss anyone more in my life, and I couldn't resist leaning forward, just a little bit…

"There!" He said, stepping away just in time, while I tried frantically to get a hold of myself. He lifted his head, noticing my odd expression, and his eyes widened, making my heart beat even faster than it already was.

"What?" I asked nervously. "What is it?"

"Nothing," he said quickly, but moved his eyes away. Was it just me, or did he look a little nervous? "Have fun tonight, okay?" He said finally, turning away.

I breathed a sigh of relief and nodded. It must have been my imagination. "Sure, thanks."

"Take care of my sister?"

"Yeah, you got it."

"Good," he said, grinning a little. "I'll see you later."

"Bye," I answered, staring after him as he left the room.

I sighed, placing my hand over my eyes. That was a close one! As much as I wanted to believe Darien didn't find anything weird about what just happened, I couldn't shake the feeling that he suspected something. I need to be more careful, I realized, shaking my head. If I want to keep up this whole charade of being a boy, trying to kiss him is a definite no-no. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the image of his perfect lips now burned permanently into my brain. What was I doing here? I turned around and inspected myself in the mirror, smiling a little at Darien's flawless bowtie around my collar. What was I doing here indeed…

* * *

Twenty minutes later, I found myself outside Raye's dorm room, feeling a lot more nervous than I would have expected. I knocked once, twice, and the door opened to reveal a pretty redhead wearing a deep blue dress.

"Hey Molly," I said, stepping inside as she widened the door. "Wow, you look great! Jarod isn't here yet?"

"No," she answered, blushing slightly. "He said he'd be a little late." She grinned, and whistled appreciatively. "You don't look so bad yourself!"

"You don't look bad at all," A soft voice murmured, and then it was my turn to blush. Raye stood in the doorway on the other side of the room, a gentle smile on her face.

"Hey Raye!" I said, smiling a little, then I let my eyes drop, and slowly let my mouth fall open. "Wow!" I exclaimed. "You look incredible!"

And she really did. Her dress was a deep iridescent red that hugged her torso and billowed out at the waist. The front dipped low, showing enough of her top to be sexy, but classy as well. Her dark hair was pulled up into a bun comprised of curls, with a few strands pulled loose to frame her pretty features. Her make-up was dark, but not overdone, and it brought out her violet eyes wonderfully. She looked like some gorgeous Cinderella, and as I stared at her, I suddenly felt this envious pull at my heart. I didn't want to be in this stifling tuxedo, looking like some blonde, pretty boy prince. I wanted to be her, wearing a beautiful dress, dancing the night away with Darien. For the first time, I felt like I was really missing something important. This was the first dance of my senior year, and I wasn't feeling like a princess… I looked back at Raye's face, only to see her smiling at me, her eyes shining with pleasure, and I realized it was no good feeling sorry for myself. I may not be doing what I want tonight, but there was no way I was going to ruin this experience for her.

"You really do look incredible!" I said again. "And that smell!" I inhaled deeply. "Is that Chanel's 'Cocoa?'"

She laughed and nodded. "How did you know?"

I shrugged. "Lucky guess. Where did you get that dress?" I asked, honestly interested.

"I had it specially made in New York," she explained, and then she blushed. "Do you really think I look incredible?"

"Raye, everyone's going to say you look gorgeous," I insisted. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah, just let me get my purse!" She called over her shoulder, disappearing into her bedroom.

Just as I lost sight of her, a knock sounded from the door, and my throat tightened. That could only be one person…

"Hey, Jarod!" Molly cried happily as she opened the door. "Come on in!"

"Wow, Molly!" I heard him exclaim. "You look great!"

"Thanks," she replied, her giggle finding its way into the front room.

A moment later, Jarod appeared, looking fabulous in his zoot suit, and I had to smile. He forced a smile back at me, but it suddenly disappeared as his eyes caught something over my shoulder. I turned only to see Raye emerge from her bedroom, and smiled as I realized what Jarod must have found so stunning. Her eyes were glued to him, and she smiled widely.

"Jarod! You look amazing! I love your suit!" She exclaimed, stepping forward to give him a hug.

He returned the embrace, his mouth still open, as if he were in shock. "Y-You look gorgeous!" He murmured softly, closing his eyes just before she pulled away.

"I told you," I pointed out, chuckling. "You and Molly are going to be the prettiest girls there!"

Molly laughed, but Raye's cheeks turned crimson and she shook her head. "Are you guys ready?" She asked quickly, shyly placing a hand against her face.

"Yeah, let's go!" Molly exclaimed excitedly.

"Yeah…" Jarod agreed dumbly, his eyes still fastened on Raye.

I grinned to myself. This was going to be one interesting night. Suddenly, my heart dropped as Raye smiled at me and put her arm through mine, her face reddening again. I saw Jarod eyes flare with jealousy, and I gulped. Very interesting indeed…

* * *

By the time we reached the gym, the dance was in full swing. Couples littered the floor, gyrating to the hip-hop music blaring from the speakers set up in each corner. I smiled to myself, realizing these rich kids weren't too different from my classmates back home-- except I doubted that any of the girls' dresses cost less than five-hundred dollars.

The evening started out well. Raye and I made the rounds, saying hello to the people we knew, while I tried to ignore Jarod's icy glares at the back of my head. Raye, for the most part, didn't notice his behavior, and remained at my side the entire time, adding to my fears that her interest didn't lie in my lovelorn friend… We hadn't danced yet (thanks to my fears that Jarod would murder me if I touched his girl), but I could tell she wanted to by the way she kept glancing at the floor. I couldn't avoid it all night, and we were running out of people to talk to.

"Do you want to dance?" She finally asked, after we said hello to Mal and his date.

I hesitated, as a slow love song started up. I looked up to see couples pulling close, and then locked eyes with Jarod, who stared over Molly's shoulder with eyes that plainly said: "Don't you dare."

"I-I'm actually kind of thirsty," I sputtered. "Do you think we could get a drink first?"

Raye looked a bit frustrated, but she sighed and nodded, pulling me towards the refreshment table. I suddenly felt horribly guilty. This was her dance, and her night, and I was being a terrible date. Why did Jarod have to be such a jerk about this?

"So, Raye Shields is still relying on her brother to get a date…" Came an icy voice from my left, breaking through my thoughts. I turned to see Beryl standing a few feet from us, wearing a black gown that left very little to the imagination. I frowned, what the heck was her problem?

"That's a nice dress," she commented slyly, her green eyes gleaming in the dim light. "You almost managed to fill the top out this year," she added with a cold grin.

Raye's eyes flared with anger, but she answered the insult with a deadly grin. "I guess it's better than falling out," she fired back. "Tell me Beryl, how much did those skanky straps of fabric set you back? Seems a lot to pay for a few moments of attention."

Beryl forced a smile, and then to my surprise, sauntered towards me, placing a slim hand on my arm. "I don't know what you're doing with Raye," she murmured seductively, sliding her hand upwards. "We could have a lot more fun…"

I recoiled instinctively, brushing her hand away. "Thanks, but I prefer elegance to trash," I answered with a grimace, stepping back. I took one look at Beryl's shocked expression, then glanced at Raye's beaming face, and grinned. "Come on Raye, let's dance."

"I can't believe you just did that!" She whispered excitedly as we walked away. "You were unbelievable!"

"Beryl's a tramp, and you're the prettiest girl here! I meant every word." I said nonchalantly, spinning her out onto the floor.

Raye laughed, and we started to dance. I refused to hold back and busted out some of my best moves, earning whistles of appreciation from the people around us. I whooped as one of my favorite eighties songs came on, clapping and singing along while Raye laughed at me and joined in.

"You're awesome!" She shouted over the music. "I can't believe you like this stuff!"

"Are you kidding?" I shouted back. "I love the eighties!"

She laughed again and kept on dancing, moving towards and away from me, keeping the beat the entire time. We were having a blast, but soon the music faded away, only to be replaced by KC and JoJo's "All My Life." I stopped and stared at Raye, resisting the urge to gulp. I stood there for a while, wondering how I was going to work this, but her expectant features erased my doubts. This was her night, and I was going to make it wonderful.

"Come here, girl!" I exclaimed with a grin, opening my arms wide. She chuckled and shook her head, embarrassed, as she moved in close.

As she entered my arms, I slipped my left arm around her waist, and took her left hand in my right, moving my feet slightly from side to side. She smiled at me, her violet eyes glistening in the dark, and I was again struck by how pretty she was. She should be here with Jarod, I realized. At least he can appreciate how beautiful she truly is. We danced for a while like that, Raye pulling closer after a few moments, making my heart beat faster. I had no idea what to do in this situation, so I just kept dancing, sighing with relief when the song finally ended and a fast song began.

"Can we go outside?" She suddenly asked, just as I started to dance.

"Huh?"

"I'm really hot, do you think we could step out for a minute?"

"Oh!" I exclaimed, smiling a little. "Sure, let's go."

She smiled back and took my hand, leading me outside into the cool night. I raised my eyes to the sky, and sighed, taking in the still beauty of the stars.

"It's really beautiful out here," I whispered.

"Yeah, it is…" She murmured softly, looking away. "Thank you," she suddenly said, "for tonight, I mean. You made me feel pretty, and it was really nice of you to stick up for me."

"Isn't that what friends are supposed to do?" I wondered.

She looked up and smiled at me. "Yeah, I suppose so."

I grinned. "Listen, Raye…" I started, but I my words were cut off as she pressed her lips against mine, and pulled me close.

My eyes widened, and my whole body went rigid, completely stunned. I couldn't respond, and after a moment, she pulled away, her expression hurt.

"What's the matter?" She asked.

"N-Nothing!" I sputtered.

"Oh, okay!" she said with a smile, and kissed me again, but this time I pushed her away quickly.

"Stop!" I ordered. "Just stop!"

"What's wrong?" She wondered.

"I can't! I just can't!" I gasped. "It's not you, I swear! Raye, I just… I'm just… I'm really not into…"

"Oh God! I'm so sorry! I can't believe I didn't see it before!" She suddenly exclaimed, backing away, completely embarrassed. "The compliments, the dancing, the knowledge of perfume…" She paused, and gulped. "You're gay aren't you?"

"What?" I finally managed, my eyes bulging. "I am not gay!" I declared indignantly, without even thinking.

"Then what's the matter? Is it me?" She asked. "I spent all afternoon getting ready for you, I tried to say all the right things… Am I not pretty enough?" She wondered.

"Raye, that has nothing to do with it!" I said firmly.

"Well, then what is it? Why do guys never like me?" She asked. "I have never had a boyfriend before, and every guy that I've ever liked treats me like a little sister. For the longest time I was in love with Jarod, but he never noticed me… And then I met you, and you were polite, attentive, and sweet... You complimented me, stuck up for me, but you're just like every other guy I know."

"Raye, I am NOT like every guy you know! Any guy would find you beautiful. Any guy would count themselves lucky to be your date." I assured her, covering my eyes with my hands. "I'm just different from all of them. I'm…"

"What? You're what?" She asked, placing a hand against my shoulder. "Why ARE you so different from all the other guys? If you're not gay, then what is it?"

I pulled my hands away and stared at her concerned face. Could I let her in on my secret? Would she blow my cover? I would be risking so much in telling her, but the pay off could be great. I had to do it, and hope my confession would gain me a reliable friend.

"Raye…" I began softly.

"Yes?"

"I'm a girl."

_

* * *

Like it? Love it? Review please!_


	11. Chapter 11

Raye stared at me, her expression angry. 

"That's not funny Ren, I'm being serious!" She snapped, her eyes flaring.

"So am I," I insisted, struggling to keep my voice level. "My name is Serena Elizabeth Johnson, and I am a GIRL."

She gasped and backed away, but her eyes were still filled with doubt. "But you go to Madison's School for BOYS. You can't be a girl!" She asserted. "You just can't!"

"But I am," I said quietly. "That's why I knew your perfume, that's why I can dance, and that's why I'm so polite…" I smiled softly.

She didn't smile back, and only continued to stare at me, letting all that I had said sink in. I sighed and looked away, realizing I had made a terrible mistake. Then, to my surprise, I felt a hand against my cheek, and I turned my head only to see Raye standing in front of me with a determined look gracing her pretty features. She suddenly began to pass her hand along the side of my face, down to my chin, and back up again.

"It's skin…" she whispered. "You don't shave."

I grinned. "I don't have to." I turned away, and sighed. "I have breasts too, even if they're not that impressive…"

"But why?" She protested. "Why are you in the boys' school? Why the disguise?" She asked, stepping away from me.

I shrugged. "I couldn't get into the girls' school because it was too full, so I dressed up as a boy and got into the other one with a little help from a friend."

Raye exhaled loudly and leaned against the wall, her face puzzled. "I can't believe this! How did you get through the background checks?"

"I had a very intelligent friend who was willing to help me out," I explained.

"But how do you live with all those guys? I wouldn't know what to do with myself with all that testosterone flying around!"

I laughed. "It's not so bad, and you get used to it after a while. You know, a lot of them are really sweet--especially Jarod," I said softly, and smiled as she blushed. "Were you really in love with him?" I asked.

"Oh God!" she moaned. "I was hoping you hadn't noticed that little section of my rant!"

"Oh no, I heard every word!" I said, chuckling a little. "Is it true? Do you love him?"

She hesitated, and then sighed. "Yes… no… I don't know!" She muttered, shaking her head. "It's hard to feel for someone who doesn't have feelings for you. I've never been anything more than Darien's little sister to him, and it's been driving me CRAZY!" She growled. "I've been trying to get rid of my infatuation for years," she explained, glancing at me. "I was hoping you were the cure."

I smiled. "Who says you need a cure?" I asked. I paused for a moment, and then went on. "What if I told you that Jarod is head-over-heels for you, and has been on my case all week because I was the one who took you to a dance."

"What?" She asked, surprise quite evident in her voice.

"Jarod loves you, Raye," I stated flatly. "He's been crazy about you for years, but he doesn't know how to show it. For two weeks I've been trying to give him lessons, and he's been extremely pissed at me because…"

"All I've been doing is flirting with you…" She finished.

"Exactly!" I exclaimed. "He's hated me the past two weeks because he thinks I like you, and that I'm trying to steal you away from him."

"But that doesn't make any sense!" She cried. "Why didn't he tell me before? Why didn't he just say something?"

"Why didn't you?" I countered.

"Because I was…"

"Scared," I finished for her. "Well, he was too. You're a beautiful girl, Raye…" I said softly. "I'm not a even a guy and I'm a little intimidated by you. It's easy to see why he loves you so much."

She blushed and turned away. "I can't believe this! I'm such an idiot! All this time, and I never knew!" She glanced at me. "I never knew ANYTHING!"

"Well, you know now, and we can do something about it," I murmured.

I glanced back at the doors leading into the gym and grinned, knowing Jarod was somewhere within. I reached for Raye's hand, took it, and began leading her inside, knowing what I had to do.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

I laughed. "Girl, I'm going to get you to dance with your man!"

* * *

We were in for a bit of disappointment, however. We searched high and low for Jarod inside, but all we found was Molly flirting with Melvin next to the refreshment table.

"Where's Jarod?" I asked as we reached her.

She shrugged. "I don't know. I think he went home, he said something about not feeling very well…" She explained. "Why? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," I assured her, but I couldn't keep the frustration out of my voice. I had hoped to get Raye and Jarod together tonight, but it appeared as if I had failed. I sighed softly, and turned to Raye, my face full of regret.

"It's okay," she said, before I could open my mouth. "You tried your best. Tonight's just not the night, that's all," she murmured with a shrug.

"Raye…" I began, "I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it," she insisted. "But," she sighed, "I'm not feeling so well now. You think you could walk me home?"

"Sure," I replied. "Let's go."

I took her arm and led her to our table where we gathered our things. We left the gym in silence, and entered the cool night outside. I shivered as the wind suddenly picked up, and abruptly realized that Raye must be freezing. I smiled to myself, and removed my coat to drape it over her shoulders. She smiled at me, and shook her head.

"For being a girl, you sure have this chivalry thing down," She cracked.

I laughed. "I watch a lot of movies, and I know how we want to be treated!" I teased.

She laughed too, and we continued on without speaking for a while. I focused my attention on the ground, and began to wonder where Darien was at this moment. I wondered if he was sleeping, dreaming in his warm bed, with his beautiful head pressed into his pillow…

"So why did you REALLY go through with this charade?" Raye asked suddenly, breaking through my thoughts.

"W-What?" I stammered. "What are talking about?"

"Why did you go through all this to get here? You couldn't have done it for the prestige Madison can give you, it would never transfer to your name. So, why? Are you pissed at your parents or something? Or are you running from the law?" She made it sound like a joke, but her eyes were serious.

I smiled. "Is it really that important?" I wondered.

"Well," she began, "I guess I don't HAVE to know… but I'm definitely curious. It's a lot to gamble, and I'm wondering what's so important at this school that makes you willing to risk so much to be here."

I stopped walking, and she followed suit, her eyes never leaving mine. "Why, Serena? Why are you here?"

I smiled as I heard her speak my real name, and suddenly, for some reason, I knew I could trust her.

"Darien," I answered. "I'm here for Darien."

"Darien?" she repeated, obviously surprised. "Why are you here for him?"

"It's a long story," I whispered, uttering an embarrassed laugh. "And every time I try to rethink it in my head, it still doesn't make sense." I sighed, still not knowing where to begin.

"Try me," Raye insisted.

I hesitated, but gave up. "I'm crazy about your brother," I said finally, my voice wavering. "I met him about a month ago in a diner I worked at. He came in with all his friends, and when I laid eyes on him… well, it was like I was struck by lightening. Suddenly, nothing in my life made sense anymore! All I knew was that he made me feel something I had never felt before, and I was suddenly willing to risk anything to find out why."

I paused, and turned away. "I know it sounds crazy, leaving everything you care about to follow someone you don't even know… but the more time I spend with him, the less crazy it is to me." I sighed, and shook my head. "The more I get to know your brother, the stronger I feel for him. He's smart, and funny, and so kind! He's one of the most wonderful people I know, and as stupid as it sounds, I would be willing to risk a lot more than I already have knowing what I know now."

I turned back only to find her staring at me with tears in her eyes. She shook her head, and smiled softly. "You're not crazy," she whispered. "In fact," she began, uttering a wavering laugh, "you see him the way I've always wanted a girl to see him. You recognized the beauty inside of my brother, and in my opinion, no one else is more worthy of his affection than you!"

I smiled, and the tears that had been building in my own eyes spilled out. She reached forward and hugged me to her, and I finally allowed myself to release the emotions within me.

"You don't know how good it feels to finally talk to another girl!" I sobbed, laughing a little.

She laughed too, and hugged me closer. "I'm going to help you, Serena…" she murmured. "I promise!"

"You bastard," A voice suddenly spoke from behind us, and my eyes widened in recognition.

I pulled away from Raye's embrace, and turned around only to see a handsome blonde man in tuxedo, his face full of pain.

"Jarod," I whispered.

* * *

_Uh oh, Serena's in trouble now! Sorry about the cliffhanger--dodges rotten fruit and vegetables--but I promise I'll have more out soon!_

_Like it? Hate it? Review please!_


	12. Chapter 12

_Hey you guys! Well, I'm finally back! I finished my last final for the semester today and now I'll FINALLY have time to work on finishing this story! Here's chapter twelve, I hope you all enjoy, and I must warn you that there will be some mild violence and a bit of swearing... If any of you are offended, I profoundly apologize! Enjoy!_

"You scheming bastard!" He shouted again, stepping forward as I pulled away from Raye. "I trusted you!"

"Jarod," I began, my voice soothing, "it's not what you--"

But my words were stopped as his fist suddenly connected with my jaw…**HARD**. I spun around, white-hot pain searing across my face, and dimly I heard Raye scream as I sank to the ground. In seconds, Jarod was on top of me, grabbing hold of my shirt and throwing me into the ground repeatedly. Somewhere in this violent outburst, I felt my shirt tear, but he didn't seem to notice, and continued to shove me into the dirt, swearing at me the whole way.

"I saw you kiss her!" I heard him shout over the blood roaring in my ears, and I struggled unsuccessfully to force his image into focus. God, that boy knew how to hit! "I saw you!" He cried. "You promised me you wouldn't touch her you sonofabitch!"

"Jarod!" I heard Raye sobbing from somewhere behind us. "It's not what you think! Please, STOP!"

"You knew I loved her!" He cried, ignoring her. "You knew how I felt about her, and you did it anyway!"

"She didn't do anything!" Raye suddenly screamed. "Stop it! You're hurting **HER**!"

Then, to my surprise, he froze at her last words. He turned towards her, his expression extremely confused. "What?"

"You're hurting her," she repeated, emotion clouding her voice. "Stop."

Jarod turned back towards me, taking in my dazed features, and finally let his gaze drop to my torso, where my dress-shirt lay in ribbons. His eyes widened as they focused on the ace-bandage wrapped around my chest, and he dropped me instantly. He pushed himself away from me hastily, and then he turned towards Raye, his expression resembling that of a lost little boy.

"What's going on?" He whispered.

* * *

Raye stared at Jarod, her expression wary, while I struggled to pull myself into a seated position. My face hurt like hell, and I was totally exposed. Raye turned towards me, and noticing my embarrassed expression, took the jacket draped around her shoulders and passed it over to me. I took it gratefully, and after covering myself, I turned towards Jarod, who refused to meet my eyes.

"She's a girl," Raye said softly, gesturing towards me.

"I can see that," he muttered sullenly. "But I still don't know what the hell is going on! So can someone **PLEASE** explain it to me?"

Raye and I were silent for a few moments, but then I finally spoke, knowing what I had to do.

"Jarod," I began, "more than anyone else here, I owe you an explanation…"

"You're damn right you do!" He barked, interrupting me. "I've been rooming for over a month with a girl, and then she makes a play for the woman I love! Who the hell are you?"

I paused, and drew in a deep breath. "It's difficult to explain…"

"I don't care how difficult it is, get it out!" He demanded.

"Will you shut up for a second?" I snapped, my eyes flaring. He closed his mouth promptly, nodded, and I sighed. "Yes, I am a girl," I started. "In fact, we've even met before."

"What?" He asked. "What are you talking about?"

"Picture me with long hair," I said softly, but he still looked bewildered. "A little make-up?" I pressed hopefully. "With a diamond moon pendant…"

Suddenly his eyes went wide and his mouth dropped open. "No way… S-Serena?" He sputtered. "The waitress? What are you doing HERE? And dressed like that!" He exclaimed, gesturing at my tattered tuxedo.

I smiled grimly, and then winced as the motion triggered a stab of pain from the bruise forming along my jaw. "These clothes," I began, "were the only way that I could get into this school. Becoming a boy was the only way I could get close to someone I wanted to learn more about…" I finished.

"What?" He asked shrilly. "What are you talking about?" He shook his head, bringing his hands to his eyes. "I'm sorry, but this is just a little weird for me! Two minutes ago, I was beating up a guy who kissed my girl, and now that guy IS a girl! Oh God!" he suddenly groaned. "I hit a girl!"

I laughed. "I guess I did have it coming," I muttered, rubbing my jaw. "But you have one hell of a right hook."

"It doesn't matter, and don't change the subject!" He snapped suddenly, and I sobered a bit. "Now what are you doing here?"

"I came for Darien," I said finally. "I think I'm falling in love with him."

There was a brief silence, and then Jarod broke it with a disgusted exclamation. "You came all the way to Madison for DARIEN? You hardly know the guy, and you came like **THAT**?" He cried, gesturing towards my dirty tux. "Just how did you intend on grabbing his attention?"

"I don't know!" I retorted, rising to my feet. "I don't know how I even got the guts to come here, but I did, and this was the only way I could get close to him!"

"But you didn't even know him!" He persisted.

"How long did you have to know her to figure out she was the one?" I asked, pointing at Raye, and Jarod suddenly fell silent.

"She's different…" he muttered.

"No she's not! How long did it take you to know?" I demanded. My eyes burned into his, and after a moment, he looked away in shame.

"The moment I saw her," he whispered, and Raye blushed at his words. I smiled gently.

"Well, that's the way it was for me," I murmured. "I didn't to know everything about Darien, but deep in my gut I knew he was something special. So, I followed him here, I put on this ridiculous disguise, and it's been hell trying to hide it from you all ever since!" I stopped, frowning slightly. "You can't say anything," I said softly. "I would get kicked out of the school, and Darien would never speak to me again. Please, Jarod," I begged. "Promise me you won't say anything?"

Jarod looked as if he were about to protest, but then he sighed and shook his head. "I wouldn't rat on you," he said finally, and I breathed a sigh of relief. "But you're not doing yourself any good by lying to Darien."

I smiled. "I know that." I assured him. "But I am getting to know him, and that's all I wanted to do." I paused, and looked him right in the eye. "Can you keep my secret?"

He looked at me, nodded, and then laughed. "I can't believe this is happening," he cried. "This is truly unbelievable."

"Try kissing her and then finding out she's a woman," Raye cracked, and I laughed.

"Speaking of that kiss," Jarod said softly. "When I walked out of the gym and saw Raye kiss you, I about died! What was that all about?"

"Oh God, it was nothing!" I insisted. "It was a mistake, and it was rectified. Besides," I added, smiling a little, "it was you that she really wanted to be kissing."

Jarod turned towards Raye, his face full of surprise, and she blushed. "What? Is that true?" He asked hopefully, stepping towards her.

Raye remained motionless for a few moments, but then finally nodded. "I tried to hook up with Ren because I thought I couldn't get you. You always treated me like a little sister, and I was sick of feeling something for you and getting nothing in return… I guess I thought if I was with someone else, I'd get over my feelings and move on." She sighed. "Turns out I fell for a girl, and I still couldn't forget about you."

"Really?" He wondered, a real smile gracing his lips for the first time that night.

Raye laughed. "Yes, you idiot! I'm crazy about you, and that girl over there gave me the courage to tell you so… I-I love you," she finished, and exhaled as he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her. I beamed widely and tried to resist from giggling as he pulled her close.

"I love you too," he whispered, and leaned down, placing his lips over hers.

I let loose a short, happy laugh, but at the same time felt an envious pull at my heart as I took in the tender scene. I wanted that to be Darien and I, and yet, I couldn't deny my luck for the evening. Raye was happy, Jarod was ecstatic, and even though my jaw still ached fiercely, I knew things were going to be all right-- at least for now.

"Ahem," I cleared my throat, and the couple pulled away, their faces reddening. "I really should be getting back to the dorms before someone sees me like this." I explained softly, pulling my jacket closer around me. "Can you walk her home?" I asked Jarod, winking slyly.

He grinned and nodded. "Sure. Thanks, Serena."

I smiled, and turned to Raye, who greeted me with a strong hug. "You're a miracle worker," she whispered.

"Yeah," I agreed, laughing a little. "And I have the battle scars to prove it."

We both laughed, and then they stepped away, their hands linking as they turned to wave goodbye. I sighed, watching them go, and then headed in the other direction. I was tired, sore, and ready for a shower. If I was lucky, everyone would still be at the dance, and I could relax!

"Mission accomplished, Serena!" I said to myself, and smiled up at the stars. "Time to get some shut-eye!"

_Thank you all so much for all the feedback, I really appreciate your ideas! Believe it or not, I am incorporating many of them into this story, so keep 'em coming! I also tried to avoid a cliffhanger for this chapter--hee hee, got more than a few complaints about the last ones!--and I promise I'll have more out very soon._

_Love it? Hate it? Review please!_


	13. Chapter 13

_Hey everyone! I'm SO SO SO sorry that I haven't written anything for so long, but my sister has been in the hospital having knee surgery, and I was stuck in San Diego for two weeks taking care of her (not that I minded, but heeding her every beck and call did limit my writing time!). Anyway, I am now trying remedy my lack of chapters, so this is the first of many! My hope is to finish before my school starts up again (Feb. 16th), but if I can't, I at least want to get close! Thank you all so much for being so patient with me, and I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

When I finally entered my dorm room fifteen minutes later, I felt nothing less than relieved. My jaw still hurt, my body was tired, but I somehow felt free! Right now Jarod would be giving Raye a kiss goodnight, and all I wanted to do was take a shower and go to sleep. I sighed and moved towards my bed, ready to fall right in…

"So…" a voice suddenly murmured from behind me, and I smiled. "How did it go?" Darien asked.

I turned around and shrugged. "It went pretty well…" I admitted.

Darien returned my smile, but then his eyes dropped and widened. "What happened to you?" He demanded, striding toward me in order to get a closer look.

I laughed. "Oh, that… Uh, I ran into a fist--totally my fault!" I cracked.

Darien didn't laugh, and instead gently took my chin between his fingers and held it while he peered at my darkening bruise. I tried not to tremble, but it was hard being at such close proximity to him. A moment later, he released me, and stepped back, his eyes cold.

"Who did it to you?"

"It doesn't matter," I said dismissively. "It's resolved now."

"If it was Diamond…" he began.

"No," I interrupted. "It wasn't him."

Darien visibly relaxed, and then nodded. "Good."

A long moment followed where we said nothing, and simply looked at each other. After a few seconds, I turned away, sat down, and stared at my shoes, but I could still feel his eyes on me. However, when I looked up again, his eyes were focused elsewhere, and for that I was glad. Nothing made me more self conscious than him staring at me.

"Hey Ren?" He suddenly asked, startling me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Are you related to Serena?" He asked.

My throat suddenly went dry, and my eyes widened. "What?" I squeaked.

_Oh God!_ My mind screamed. _He knows! He's going to figure it out!_

"It's just that…" he began, and then stopped, as if trying to collect his thoughts. "I mean, when I look at you sometimes, you look just like her… It's kind of unnerving, and I was just wondering if you two were related somehow."

I gulped. I had to think of something quick! "Oh, uh… yeah." I stammered. "We are related. Serena is my…cousin." I finished lamely, and prayed silently that he would buy it.

"Oh!" He exclaimed, smiling with relief. "That's good to know! Why didn't you tell me before?" He wondered.

"I wanted to surprise you?" I offered hopefully.

He laughed. "Well, at least it didn't slip your mind…" He shook his head, and rose to his feet. "Well, that was all I needed to know. I'm heading off to the roof right now, want to come?"

I thought about it, but somehow I didn't think an hour in moonlight would help me right now. It only seemed to bring out the girl in me… So, reluctantly, I shook my head no.

"Naw, I better get to bed right now. It's been a long night," I said finally.

Darien looked disappointed at first, but then he smiled and nodded. "Okay, get some rest." He began heading towards the doorway.

"Thanks, Darien. Goodnight!" I called after him.

"Later!" He replied, and then he was gone.

I sighed and began pulling off my shoes and socks, and then removed my jacket. For once, I resolved not to take a shower and just go straight to sleep. I swung my legs up onto the bed and leaned back. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

* * *

I woke up the next morning to the unnerving sight of a pair of blue eyes staring at me intently. I yelped and leapt to my feet, startling Jarod as well.

"Jarod!" I exclaimed warningly, "Don't ever scare me like that again!"

"Sorry," he said quickly, and I sat back down.

"So what's up?" I asked groggily, resisting the urge to yawn.

He shrugged and began picking nervously at his ratty blue bedtime shorts. I noticed he had his shirt on, and that was strange because he never wore his shirt to bed. Suddenly, I realized why he seemed so anxious, and I smiled.

"Do you want to talk about last night?" I asked.

He hesitated, but then nodded. "I wanted to ask you how I should…" he trailed off. "Well, I mean, how should I act around you now? I know you're a girl, and that changes a lot of things. Last night I realized that I not only ragged on you about your sensitive issues, I also haven't been the cleanest of guys… I just need to know if I should alter my behavior at all. I know you're going to be here a while longer, and I want to make you as comfortable as possible." He smiled softly. "I owe you a lot."

I laughed gently and shook my head. "Jarod, I don't want you to change at all!" I insisted. "Trust me, if your living habits really bothered me, I would have told you a long time ago!" I stood up, crossed the room, and sat next to him on his bed. "I don't want to change anything about our relationship because I like you just the way you are. If I lose my hilarious roommate who has trouble cleaning up after himself, I won't be able to have any fun while I'm here!"

He laughed and nodded. "Okay, fair enough."

"There is one thing you could do though…" I said softly.

"Yeah? What?" He asked.

"You need to make sure I don't blow my cover. I need guy lessons, and if I'm ever doing something girly, you need to let me know!" I urged.

"Well, now that you mention it…" he began. "There is something…"

"What?"

"Well, the way you eat. Most guys aren't as dainty as you are. We don't care if stuff falls out of our sandwiches, and we definitely don't eat burritos with a knife and a fork!" He explained.

I laughed aloud. This was going to work out just fine.

* * *

The rest of the day went really smoothly until lunchtime. Jarod and I acted normal around each other, I managed to think of a credible excuse for my bruise, and the rest of the guys were ecstatic to hear that Jarod and Raye had finally gotten together. However, once we reached the cafeteria, trouble began. It was then that I began to realize how truly different girls are from some boys.

"I can't believe Ren managed to get you and Raye together!" Nathan exclaimed to Jarod. He pulled a chair out from under the table, plopped into it, and tossed his tray on the table. "She's totally _hot_!"

I frowned, set my tray down, and took a seat next to Jarod, who was blushing furiously. "I'm sure that's not the _only _reason he went after her," I said.

"It wasn't," Jarod said quickly, and shot a glare at Nathan.

"Well what else is there?" Nathan insisted. "As long as the girl has booty, breasts, and a pretty face, a guy is happy!" He said with a grin. "I dare any one of you to tell me different."

"You're so full of crap!" Zach said, sitting down next to him. "Not all guys want a trophy wife."

"Thank you, Zach!" I said, smiling at him. He grinned shyly back.

"Oh yeah? Well, then what do you look for in a girl?" Nathan asked him.

"Intelligence," Zach answered easily. "If the girl can't have an intellectual conversation with me, she won't last!"

"But I think Nathan does have something," Malcom said, taking the seat on the other side of him. "I think a girl should be somewhat pretty, or I won't be attracted to her in the first place."

"Thank you!" Nathan exclaimed.

"Being attractive is one thing, being completely vapid is another!" I cried, my blood beginning to boil. "If someone isn't interesting, smart, or funny, how are they supposed to keep your attention?"

"Yes, personality can help," Malcolm admitted, "but what will get your attention in the first place? If I'm out somewhere and I see a girl, my first thought isn't how funny or interesting she is. If she isn't attractive to me, I won't bother!"

"What a horrible thing to say!" I cried, my face heating up. "It's chauvinistic guys like you that give men a bad name!" I nearly shouted.

"Why are you being such a girl about this?" Nathan asked, and Jarod began coughing frantically as he nearly choked on his sandwich. My face reddened, but I was completely furious.

"He's not," a voice said softly from my right, and I turned to see Darien standing beside me, tray in hand. He glanced down at me, and then turned to Nathan and Malcolm, frowning slightly. "You guys should know better than anyone else that a beautiful girl doesn't always make you happy, because you've seen it in action. Ren and Zach are right… Unless the girl is smart, funny, and interesting, you won't keep her around. I know from experience."

The table fell silent, and Mal and Nathan looked away in shame.

"Sorry man," Nathan said finally. "You know we weren't talking about you…"

"Yeah, I know," Darien agreed. "But I have to agree with Ren. No wonder girls don't have any faith in us. We don't give them anything to be impressed about! You know what? I think you guys just haven't met the right one yet, and when you do, you're not going to care what she looks like." He glanced down at his try and sighed. "I'll see you guys later, I'm not hungry."

Darien turned from the table and walked towards the door, emptying his tray into a garbage can on the way. I sighed, and got up to follow him, when Jarod pulled at my arm. I looked down and immediately understood that a guy would let Darien alone. I sat back down reluctantly, determined to make an excuse to follow him later. My thoughts were interrupted, however, by a hand suddenly gripping my shoulder. I jumped visibly.

"Hey Ren," the person behind me puffed. I turned around only to see Melvin panting like a dog behind me, looking as if he had run a marathon. "What's up Mel?" I asked, concerned.

"Your sister just called," he gasped. "She wanted me to give you a message, she said it was urgent…"

"What is it?" I asked quickly. "What's wrong?"

"She told me to tell you that she's coming to visit next Saturday, and she's bringing her friends along…" He managed, finally getting a hold of himself.

"Oh!" I said with relief, smiling finally. "Thanks man, I thought there was something wrong."

"I'm not done," he said, standing up straight. "She wanted me to tell you Serena is coming along too. She made me promise three times…"

My mouth fell open, and suddenly I couldn't breathe so well. I felt Jarod grip my shoulder from behind, and I was glad he was there to steady me. If he hadn't been, I think I would have passed out.

* * *

_Whew! There it is! Oh yeah, a little note about the girl argument... I actually used to have discussions like this with some of my guy friends, and believe me, they got pretty heated! I hope I didn't offend anyone, and I know all guys aren't like Nate and Mal-- but believe me, they'll have a change of heart soon! :P_

_Like it? Hate it? Review please!_


	14. Chapter 14

_Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, I can't express how grateful I am for all your praise andideas-I'veeven used a few (hee hee). Sorry this update took so long, but hopefully my next will be a lot sooner in coming! I'm hoping to finish this story by the sixteenth of this month, so wish me luck everyone! Anyway, here is Chapter 14,and I hope you enjoy it! _

* * *

An hour later I stood in the main hallway of the dormitories frantically dialing Mina's cell number. She picked up on the fourth ring, and I was never so ready to scream at somebody in my whole life. However, I managed to keep my voice down to a furious whisper.

"Just what do you think you're doing!" I murmured fiercely. "How the _hell _is Serena supposed to be able to visit if she's talking to you right now!"

Mina sighed on the other end, and I could tell she was painting her toenails by the calmness of her voice. Nothing took her stress level down than much needed pampering. I hated to admit it, but I was jealous! If there was anything that I needed right now, it was a pedicure!

"Serena," she began, and I tried not to blow at the annoying calmness in her voice. "You were the one who was complaining that Darien couldn't fall for a boy… Well, here's your chance to make him fall for a girl."

"But-" I began, but she cut me off.

"Look, I knew you were going to freak out if I sent a message with that Melvin guy, but I needed to let you know, and he said he had no idea when you'd be in," she explained serenely.

"Don't dodge the question Mina," I said, my voice dangerous. "How the hell is 'Serena' supposed to be here?"

"Let me worry about that," she said gently. "But you have to make sure that 'Ren' disappears for a while…"

"And what do I tell Darien when I see him? That I got one hell of a haircut?" I asked. "He's not stupid Mina, he already notices the striking resemblance, so stop being so calm about it!"

"Really?" she asked excitedly. "He recognized you?"

"No he didn't!" I began, but stopped and counted to three, determined not to cause a scene, although for the moment, the hall was empty. "He didn't recognize me," I said, my voice much more patient now. "But he did notice that I look a lot like her!"

My mouth dropped open as Mina began giggling on the other end. She was laughing at me! "This situation is not funny!" I exclaimed, my temper flaring to a barely tolerable heat.

"I know!" She finally managed. "It's just that it's so weird hearing you refer to yourself in the third person!"

"Yeah, well that's more scary than humorous," I said dryly, cooling off a bit. "I beginning to wonder who's real: Ren or Serena…"

"Oh don't be so melodramatic!" She scolded. "You are what you are!" She said.

"Yeah, and the clothes don't make the man either," I muttered.

"Stop being such a stick in the mud," She said. "You're supposed to be having fun with this!"

"Sweetie, it's hard to have fun when you're hiding a vagina!" I snapped.

"Well, you won't be for much longer, so chill out," Mina said gently, realizing she was pushing me too far. I sighed.

"It's just hard keeping up this charade, and I don't like lying to Darien. It's not fair to him!"

"I know," Mina agreed, "lying to him isn't good, and that's another thing I wanted to talk to you about."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I want you out of Madison by the end of the semester," Mina said.

"Well, I was hoping I wouldn't have to stay the whole year," I admitted, trying to keep the sarcasm out of my voice.

"I don't want you to, and I've already started to think of something to tell Dad. You'll need to get back here Serena because, let's face it, you're technically not getting any high school credits at the moment. If you stay there any longer than a semester, you won't be able to graduate high school for another year."

"Yeah, I figured I'd leave before the second semester, but we have another problem…" I said softly.

"Oh really? What's that?" She asked.

"Two people know about me," I murmured.

"What?" Mina shrieked, and I cringed. "How did that happen? Serena, how could you blow your cover?"

"I didn't plan it!" I protested. "It just happened! A girl kissed me, fists flew, and well… it just sort of came out!"

There was silence on the other end for a moment. "Wow," she finally said. "That's a story you're going to have to tell later. Do you think these people can keep a secret?" she wondered.

"Yeah," I answered. "I think so. If they don't, well, I'm screwed." I sighed, but then shook my head dismissively. "Anyway, we're still avoiding the major predicament. How is 'Serena' going to visit Madison?" I asked.

"Let me worry about that, all you have to do is make sure 'Ren' is gone." She said, sighing loudly.

"I'm so happy you can relax about this," I muttered.

"Well, you worry too much! Look, I have to go, I have a date with this guy Martin. Be ready on Saturday okay?"

"Mina, you can't go yet! Not until you tell me what's going on!" I insisted. "And who's Martin anyway?" I wondered.

"Nobody important, I can already tell it's going nowhere!" She replied, sounding bored.

"Then why are you going?"

"Can't think of anything better to do!" She answered wistfully. "Look, don't worry about Saturday, the girls and I have everything under control. Let's just say you're in for the make-over of a lifetime!"

"What?" I answered.

"No time to explain! I really gotta go, but I'll talk to you later!"

"Mina! No! Don't hang up the-"

But it was too late, the line was dead, and I didn't feel like calling her back. _Great,_ I thought. _Now I get to go through the rest of the week with this on my shoulders_. I looked up to see Darien heading down the hall. I smiled and waved, and he returned the gesture, but I could see that he still wanted to be alone. I sighed and headed into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I crossed the room to my dresser and pulled open the top drawer. I rifled through socks and boxers until I found what I was looking for.

I pulled the now dried-out rosebud from the scattered pile of underwear, and held it gently in my palm. Although the petals had wilted, the color still burned as fiercely as it had the day I first laid eyes on Darien. I smiled softly in remembrance of how unsuspecting I was when I picked the flower, and carefully put it back in the dark recesses of my bureau. I shut the drawer, wincing at the piercing squeak it made when it closed, and then made my way over to my bed. I collapsed onto it, feeling the slightly painful, but oh-so-wonderful ache of my muscles as they relaxed. A few moments later, I was asleep, dreaming of all the corny things a seventeen year-old girl's imagination can conjure.

* * *

I awoke later that afternoon with a dull ache at the base of my abdomen. I groaned as I sat up, instantly realizing its cause. Until that moment, I had forgotten all about my monthly visitor. I normally considered myself lucky, having a six week cycle, but this time my long break between periods was going to prove quite unfortunate.

"Shit!" I moaned, wincing as a particularly painful cramp rippled through my internal organs. "Why now?"

I rose to my feet and hurried out of my dorm, determined to reach the bathroom before I made a mess of my underwear. It was ludicrous! I couldn't even ask anyone for a tampon! I sighed, knowing I was probably going to have to pay Raye a visit before the night was over. No wonder I had been so moody before!

I managed to make the best of a rolled up wad of toilet paper, and left the bathroom relieved because I had caught it in time. Sometimes it really sucked being a girl, but at least I would only have to deal with it for three days. Still, I would need to find something for the cramps, and fast! Somehow, however, I highly doubted that guys included Midol in their manly arsenal. I sighed, and headed towards the phone, dialing in the number to Raye's dormitory.

"You need to get a cell phone, dude…" Someone drawled behind me, and I turned around to see Nathan standing against the wall.

"Hey," I murmured, and turned back around to continue dialing.

"Ren," he began suddenly, and I glanced back at him. To my surprise, there was contrition in his deep blue eyes.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I wanted to apologize about what I said in the cafeteria earlier. I can be a jerk sometimes, and I got carried away. I didn't realize you would take it so personally, and then Jarod pulled me aside and explained it to me."

My stomach plummeted to my shoes and I gasped. "Jarod did what?"

_I'm going to kill him!_ I though furiously. _He's only known one day and he's spreading my secret around!_

"He told me about your sister, and how you guys are really close," Nathan clarified. I visibly relaxed and struggled not to breathe a sigh of relief, as I silently thanked Jarod's quick-thinking.

"Yeah, she's my twin," I explained, and he nodded.

"I'm sorry I got carried away. I don't have a sister, but if I did, I probably wouldn't appreciate what I said back there either. I just wanted to apologize for offending you," he finished.

"Thanks," I said softly, and smiled at him. "I appreciate it."

He grinned back, and I was suddenly struck by how cute he was. Lita was right, he did have a killer smile.

"Well, I'll let you get back to your call now. Sorry to bother you," he said, walking away.

"It's no trouble, I'll see you later!" I called after him, and then turned back to the phone, smiling to myself as I remembered Nathan's heartfelt apology. I punched in the number for Raye's dormitory, and silently prayed that she would pick up.

Someone did pick up on the third ring, but it wasn't Raye. Luckily though, she was on the floor, and was on the phone two minutes later.

"Hello?"

"Raye?"

"Yeah, it's me. Is that you, Serena?" She wondered.

I smiled, I couldn't get enough of hearing that. "Yeah, it's me." I hesitated, and then plunged forward. "I know this is going to sound weird, but I'm in a little bit of trouble, and I sort of need your help."

"Sure! Anything! What can I do for you?" She asked.

I glanced around, making sure I was alone. "I need a tampon…" I whispered.

"What?" she asked, "I can't hear you."

"I need a tampon," I murmured a little louder.

"Sweetie, you're going to have to speak up!" she insisted.

"I NEED A TAMPON!" I almost shouted, and then nearly slapped myself in the head for being so loud.

I could hear Raye laughing on the other end, and I scowled. "You need some Midol too by the sound of it," She said through her giggles.

"It's not funny," I muttered, but found myself smiling at the absurdity of the situation as well.

"I can hook you up girl," she finally managed. "Meet me outside the girl's dormitory in fifteen minutes, and wear something baggy! The last thing you need is for some guy to see you carrying a bag full of feminine hygiene products."

I laughed. "Okay, I'll see you in a few."

"You got it," she assured me, and hung up.

I hung up and sighed. This had been quite an adventurous day, but I knew it was probably nothing compared to next Saturday!


	15. Chapter 15

_Here's Chapter 15! Enjoy everyone!_

* * *

The week passed quickly, much to my disappointment. My period ended after about four days, but my nervousness and irritation continued into Friday. I had no idea what Mina was planning, but I had discussed it with Raye, and she insisted that I should trust my sister, whatever it was! The only thing I had left to do was inform Darien, and make up a plausible excuse for "Ren's" absence. As I rounded the corner of the stairs leading to the dormitories, I caught sight of him at the top. _Well_, I thought, _here goes nothing!_

Just as I began to ascend the stairs, however, I was shoved aside by a hard body. I looked up to see the platinum blonde hair, and impossibly vivid violet eyes of Lucas Diamond. He stood in front of me, an infuriating sneer gracing his features, and I frowned. He snickered, and shook his head, before heading back down the stairs again.

"Asshole…" I muttered under my breath as I resumed my climb.

"What did you say?" he called from below me. I rolled my eyes, and turned back to face him.

"I'm sorry," I replied, with mock sincerity. "I don't repeat myself!" I glared at him, but I smiled sweetly. "It's not my fault you're deaf as a post!"

That maddening grin left his face as quickly as if I had slapped it off, and I admit, I took a bit of pleasure in it. That pleasure left quickly, however, as he came towards me, taking the stairs two at a time. Immediately, I realized my mistake. He had bumped into me on purpose, hoping to rouse me, and I had instead managed to piss him off. I resisted the urge to wince, instantly remembering the punch to the jaw that I had taken a few days previous. The bruise had faded to a sick yellow, but I had no desire to get another one… Suddenly, however, my view of Diamond racing to deliver my death blows was obscured by a tall figure.

"What's your problem?" A deep, and decidedly masculine voice asked, and I breathed a sigh of relief. Jarod had come to save the day.

"It's not you, so get out of my way!" Diamond growled.

"If it's Ren, then it is my problem," Jarod said, his voice dangerous. He glanced down at the stairs below us, and then raised his eyes to back to Diamond "It looked to me like you started it."

"And what are you going to do?" Diamond scoffed. "Finish it?"

Jarod moved forward angrily, but I caught his arm. "Let's go," I said quietly. A crowd was beginning to gather at the top and bottom of the stairwell. I blushed under their scrutinizing gaze.

"Awww, your wittle girlfriend is gonna' lead you away!" Diamond laughed.

Jarod started forward again, but I caught him and began to drag him away, ignoring Diamond's jeering cackles at our backs. I managed to push past the people at the top of the stairwell, but I could still feel their stares even as I stalked down the hall.

When we got back to our room, I slammed the door shut and began to pace.

"I don't know what is worse Jarod! You sticking up for me, or me dragging you away!" I exclaimed, letting out a frustrated sigh. Jarod scowled at me from his position atop his bed.

"I saved you from an ass beating!" He said dully.

"Yeah, you saved me from an ass beating, but you also made me look like a fool out there!" I nearly shouted. I paused and proceeded to lower my voice. "Look, you can't keep protecting me," I insisted. "Everyone is going to think something is up if you keep refusing to let me fight my own battles."

"That guy would have creamed you!" Jarod argued, his voice getting louder. "I'm not going to stand by and watch that jerk wail on a-"

"Stop!" I interrupted, throwing my hand up for emphasis. "I know what you were trying to do, and I'm glad you did it, but if you don't start letting me take care of my business, the rest of the guys are going to know something's wrong- or they're going to think we're in love…" Jarod's mouth dropped open at my last suggestion, and I had to laugh.

"Look," I began, my voice much softer this time. "It's really sweet that you want to make sure I don't get hurt, and it was great that you rescued me this time- the last thing I need is a face full of bruises right now-but no more! Okay?" I asked hopefully. After a moment's hesitation, he finally smiled and nodded. His smile faded quickly however, and he looked at me, his face full of concern.

"You really think we looked like a couple?" He asked.

I laughed again. "You really want me to answer that?"

But before he could say anything, there was a knock at our door, and Darien poked his head in. "Everything all right in here? I heard about the stairwell…" he glanced at me. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," I assured him. "I actually needed to talk to you."

"Oh, really?" he asked, coming inside and closing the door behind him. "What about?"

"I need a favor," I began, and he nodded assent. I took a deep breath, trying to calm the butterflies raging in my stomach, and finally plunged forward. "My sister is coming in tomorrow, but I have detention with Ms. Haruna. I tried to call and tell her not to come, but I can't get a hold of her and she's leaving really early tomorrow. I was wondering if you could show her around…" I trailed off.

He stared at me, surprise evident in his face. "Well," he said hesitantly, "I guess I could… But what did you do? I mean, Haruna loves you! I'm sure if you talked to her you could get out of it. I think she'd understand…"

"Believe me," I assured him, "I did try already, but she's really mad at me. She, uh, caught me trying to ditch first period today, and I couldn't convince her to let me go with a warning." I struggled to keep a straight face, and succeeded. I was getting better at this lying stuff at a rate that was almost disturbing.

He leveled me with a steady gaze, and for a moment I was afraid he wasn't going to buy it, but then he smiled. "Sure," he agreed finally, "I'll show your sister around for you- but I'm sure she's going to want to see you too-so maybe we could swing by and say 'hi' before she leaves!"

I frowned, knowing that wouldn't be a very good idea. "As much as I want to see her, I don't think Ms. Haruna would dig visitors."

"Yeah man," Jarod piped up. "You know Haruna, she's way too by-the-book for that!"

"Besides," I said, gulping a little. "I have other motives for leaving you alone with my sister."

"Oh yeah?" he wondered. "What are they?"

"She's bringing along my cousin," I replied, and suddenly my throat dried up. "Serena's coming with her," I croaked.

Suddenly, Darien's suspicious demeanor melted away, and he beamed at me. "Seriously?" He asked excitedly. "I'm going to get to see her?"

"He is?" Jarod squeaked, whirling towards me.

"Yeah," I affirmed, smiling weakly at Jarod. "Imagine that?"

"She'll really be here?" Darien asked eagerly. "You're not messing with me?"

"Yeah, she'll be here for the whole day. I'll just have to see them another time," I answered, struggling to keep my voice normal.

"Are you sure you don't want me to talk to Haruna? I mean, she likes me too, and if I say something, she might just-"

"No," I interrupted him. "I shouldn't have ditched first period, and she is really ticked at me. I'll see them next time, but for now I want to make sure they're in reliable hands."

Darien looked as if Christmas had come early, and I had to resist jumping up and down. He really was excited to see Serena, and tomorrow he'd finally see me the way I wanted him to! Yet, I was scared to death. There was so many ways this thing could go wrong, and by the look on Jarod's face, I could tell he was thinking the same thing.

* * *

Later on that night, I called Mina to try and see if I could finally weasel some details out of her. She answered on the third ring, in that cheery voice I missed so much.

"Hello?"

I smiled with relief as some of the nervousness built up from the previous hours went away. "Hey, it's me."

"Oh, hey you!" She answered happily. "You all ready for the big day tomorrow?"

"Well, I would be more ready if I knew what was going on," I answered sarcastically. "But if you're asking if everything's set, then yes, I'm ready."

"Oh you are testy!" Mina said sweetly, and I gritted my teeth. I hated how maddeningly calm she was! "But I'm glad you're prepared. All we need is a place to transform you. Do you have any options?"

"Well, my dorm room's out!" I answered softly, glancing around the hallway to make sure I was by myself. "I mean, I can't go in as a boy and come out in a dress, now can I?"

"No," she agreed, and I once again rolled my eyes at her lack of concern for the situation. "I suppose that wouldn't do. What about Darien's sister? Can we use her place?"

I thought about it, and decided Raye wouldn't mind. "Yeah, we probably could, but we'd have to be really careful. I can't have too many girls wondering why Ren Johnson is sneaking into Raye's dorm. Believe me, we've dealt with _enough_ gossip already!"

"Okay, then we'll use Raye's room and we'll be subtle. Stop sweating this Serena, I'm bringing in the experts!" Mina reassured me, but I still felt the strong grip of fear.

"I don't think I'll relax until this thing is over," I said honestly, clutching my oversized sweatshirt tighter. "I'll see you tomorrow morning okay?"

"Yeah," Mina agreed. "Be up around seven or so, and let Raye know we're coming that early too. I don't want to raise too much suspicion, and I want to have enough time to get you ready." She paused. "Darien's going to show us around, right?"

"Yeah," I answered. "His friends are even coming along," I muttered.

"Really?" she asked, her voice sounding very intrigued. "Are his friends cute?"

"Ask Lita," I replied. "She'll tell you."

"Oh man!" Mina squealed. "I can't wait till tomorrow!"

"Oh yeah," I mumbled. "I'm on pins and needles."

* * *

The next morning came a little too soon for my liking. My alarm went off at six o'clock, and I opened my eyes to see Jarod sitting up as well.

"You going to get ready?" He asked sleepily.

"Yeah," I answered. "I'm going to shower first though, you think you could watch the bathroom for me? I doubt anyone would be up this early today, but I don't want to take chances."

"Sure, I'll keep an ear out."

"Thanks," I said, smiling a little.

He waved me off as if to say "no problem," and I hurried to grab my shower basket. I tiptoed down the hallway silently, and I didn't relax until I was in the bathroom. I undressed and showered quickly, using some of the perfumed soap I had stashed in the bottom of one of my drawers. I emerged from the shower smelling like peaches, and I gloried in the scent! God, it felt good to smell like a girl again! It had been killing me to use Old Spice every morning, but Mina had swore to me it would be more effective than Peach Blossom.

I smiled to myself and began to dry off. I had shaved again, and it was awesome having smooth legs for the first time in three weeks. I even began humming to myself. This was going to be a stressful day, but for the moment I was enjoying the perks of being a girl.

I dressed quickly, pulling on a pair of sweatpants and a hooded sweatshirt. I had no idea what Mina had planned for me to wear, but as I reached for my watch, I realized I was going to find out in about five minutes. I sighed and dashed out the door, signaled to Jarod that I was leaving for Raye's, and headed down the hallway as quietly as I could. I stopped by Darien's room on the way, and I couldn't resist taking a peek inside. I opened the door quietly, wincing at the slight creak as I pushed it further, and found him curled up in his bed covers. He looked beautiful lying there, his black hair unruly, his bare back exposed, and his Adonis face absolutely serene. One arm was cast out from his side, as if reaching for someone, and for one thrilling moment I imagined myself beneath it, snuggling into his warmth…

_Whoa, Serena_! My mind chastised quickly. _No more naughty thoughts! Mina and the girls are probably outside now, remember?_

I did remember, but I remained a moment longer-and in that moment I wished it all was over. I wished Darien knew who I was and wanted to be with me, so I could jump in that bed beside him and he wouldn't think twice about pulling me close. I sighed and tore my gaze from my sleeping dream-man. I silently pulled the door shut, and headed down the stairs. I knew I was probably going to have to run across the massive driveway, but I needed to cool down anyway. As I headed down the gravel road, I saw Mina's green Civic parked on the side of the highway and I rejoiced. I was going to see my sister and my friends, and for the first time that morning, the fact that my girl-self was going to be making an appearance at Madison was the last thing on my mind.

* * *

Mina met me just as I passed through the gates of Madison, and enveloped me in a tight hug. She looked so pretty in her dark blue jeans and red cashmere sweater, but it was her smell that I took in. She always smelled like lilacs, and for a moment, I felt like I was home again. Then, however, she pulled away, and Lita and Amy fell upon me, showering me with hugs and kisses. I laughed happily and returned their embraces, only to step back and realize they too, were lovely as ever.

"I can't believe you guys are really here!" I finally managed breathlessly. "I missed you guys so much! I thought I wouldn't see you until I got back!"

"Oh pooh!" Lita hushed, her green eyes sparkling. "We wouldn't abandon you, especially with the promise of seeing those hot guys from the café!" She teased.

"Lita's just kidding," Amy amended, linking her arm through mine. "We really only came to see you, and to provide… support."

"And by the looks of you," Mina said with a grin, "I think you're going to need a lot of it!"

"Thanks a lot," I answered sarcastically.

"Oh no," Mina broke in. "You make a very handsome boy dear sister, but I want to turn you into a girl that will knock Darien's socks off!"

"And how are we going to do that?" I asked.

"Get me to your friend's place, and you'll find out!" She answered, and pushed me towards the car.

I was about to protest, but I saw the look on her face, and finally gave in reluctantly. I got in the backseat with Lita, and as soon as Mina started the car, I directed her to the guest parking lot. We got a look from the gatekeeper because of the early hour, but he finally nodded assent and placed a sticker in Mina's window.

"You have to be out of here byten tonight," he explained gruffly. "That's lockdown. If you're late, you won't be able to get your car out, and you won't be able to stay on campus."

"Okay, got it," Mina answered, and rolled her eyes when he turned his back. "Real charmer, isn't he?" She asked sarcastically as we drove away from the booth. I smiled weakly in response.

As soon as we got out of the car, we headed across campus towards the girls' school. Mina, Lita, and Amy were all very impressed by the vastness of Madison, but I assured them that we were only seeing a small part of the school.

"My dormitory is over there," I said, pointing towards the large brick building. "I stay on the third floor."

"Do you share a room with anyone?" Lita asked.

"Yeah, I room with one of the boys from the café actually."

Lita whistled low. "You've been a good girl, right?"

My mouth dropped open, and I blushed fiercely. "Yes, I've been a good girl! I'm after Darien, remember?" Lita grinned at my response, and I shook my head, chuckling a little. "Besides, Jarod has a girlfriend, and we happen to be heading to her dormitory right now!"

Amy and Mina laughed, and it was Lita's turn to blush. "Guess I better cool it with the sex jokes, huh?" She asked.

I giggled. "You might want to," I admitted.

We reached Raye's building a few moments later, and were up the stairs in no time. When we reached Raye's room, I motioned for the girls to be as quiet as possible. I lifted my hand, and knocked softly three times. A minute later, I heard the lock turn, and Raye's face appeared in the doorway. She looked a little disheveled, but wide awake.

"Hey you!" she whispered excitedly. "Come in!"

"Hey!" I answered, pushing the door open and giving her a hug. I turned to my companions who stood sheepishly in the doorway. "Raye, this is Mina, Lita, and Amy. You guys, this is my friend Raye."

"Hi!" They exclaimed softly, smiling as Raye motioned for them to come inside.

"Welcome!" Raye said, closing the door behind them. "It's nice to meet you all. Come on to my room, Molly's still asleep!"

We nodded and followed Raye to her bedroom. Surprisingly, it looked a lot like Darien's room, with it's red and black motif, but unlike Darien's walls-which were bare-Raye's were covered with exquisite framed photographs. Cityscapes, country sides, portraits of people waiting for buses, hailing taxis, and a picture of a couple locked in a passionate embrace on a rainy street. I moved to each one, tracing the contours of the figures with my eyes. Almost all the pictures were black and white photos, and I found myself admiring the infrared photographs the most. A large picture of a tree on a hillside caught my eye. The moon was behind it, rising into the night sky. A solitary figure stood underneath the tree, a mere shadow in the glorious scene, but it was a haunting image. The figure was gazing at the moon, its head lifted, peering into the sky as if searching for someone…

"They're beautiful, aren't they?" Raye asked.

I turned around, startled, and found Raye and the girls staring at me.

"Yes," I answered, a little shaken. "Especially this one," I murmured, pointing at the picture in front of me. "It's so lonely, full of expectation… Did you take them?" I asked.

"No, Darien did," She replied, smiling at my shocked expression. She moved next to me and stared at the picture. "This one he created in photo-shop. The moonscape background was taken with normal black and white film, and he used a special contrast filter to make the white stand out against the dark. The tree and figure were taken on a hillside with the infrared. Later, he put it all together on the computer," she paused, and turned to look at me. "He said he saw it in one of his dreams." She explained, and a small smile teased her full lips. "My brother is really talented."

I laughed. "That's the understatement of the century! Is this what he's majoring in?"

Raye appeared sad for the first time that moment. "No. Darien's going into medicine at Harvard. I'm afraid photography would never be an acceptable profession with my father," she said, sighing. "Still, Darien will always have his hobbies, and I'll always be his biggest fan."

"Well, looks like he's gained another groupie," Lita joked, and we all laughed a little.

"So!" Raye finally exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "What's the plan?"

Mina grinned and stepped forward. "Well," she began, "I want to turn Ren back into Serena!"

"Can you do that?" Raye asked, appearing as uncertain as I felt.

"I think so," Mina admitted. "With Lita and Amy's help of course!"

"But what about my hair?" I asked. "He's going to wonder why I cut it!"

"Oh ye of little faith," Lita scolded, clucking her tongue. She reached into her bag and pulled out a handful of long blonde hairs. My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open. "Hair extensions anyone?" She asked teasingly.

_Oh my God._


	16. Chapter 16

_Okay guys! Here is the first half of Serena and Darien's date! I hope you enjoy this chapter, and thank you all so so SO much for your wonderful reviews. I'm so happy to be gaining a few more readers, and I'm ecstatic that most of my old ones haven't abandoned me yet-I know I'm terrible with updates:) Anyway, enjoy the chapter, more to come soon!_

* * *

After my initial shock wore off, Mina pushed me into a chair and began to give out orders.

"Lita, I want you on the hair. Amy, you've got make-up and eyebrow duty!" She turned around and smiled at Raye. "Can you help me pick out an outfit?"

Raye grinned and nodded. "I'd love to!"

For a long time, I couldn't speak, and I simply occupied myself with watching everyone prepare to get me ready. I glanced at the clock and noticed it was eight in the morning. Darien expected Serena to arrive at eleven, just three hours from now. With the hair extensions, the girls would be cutting it close.

"Serena!" Mina suddenly popped into my line of vision and I visibly jumped. "We've got a lot of stuff to do here, and we have a lot to catch up on. Why don't you tell us what you've been doing here so we don't get bored?"

So, that's what I did. For the next three hours I filled the girls in with my adventures here at Madison. I told them about the football game, I filled them in about my rivalry with Jarod for Raye's heart, and I recounted the now hilarious tale of how I managed to get the two together. I explained to them my growing affection for Darien, and even though Raye and Jarod had proved to be great friends, Darien was the person I was closest to here at the school. I told them about our cookie and ice-cream escapade, our many conversations together, and I finally told them about our spot on the roof.

"Darien takes you up there?" Raye suddenly broke in, her eyes wide.

"Yeah," I answered warily. "Why?"

She smiled softly. "He never takes _anyone_ up there. He's told me about it, but he specifically explained that it was his place to think." She winked. "Guess he's found someone he wants to think with!"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, too bad it's Ren."

The girls laughed, but I sat back and pondered that. Was I really the only person Darien had invited up there? Did that mean something special? I mean, I knew Darien and I had a special friendship, but he was equally close to Mal and the other guys… right?

"Serena!" Amy's voice interrupted my thoughts, and I snapped out of it. She stood in front of me, mascara wand ready. "I need you to look up! Focus!"

I grinned and shook my head. My make-over was almost complete, and I was glad! If Lita pulled my hair too hard one more time, I was going to scream! Still, they were going through a lot of trouble, and I knew they were praying the results would be as wonderful as I hoped. I could feel Lita brushing my hair and I sighed with satisfaction. I had hair! _Real_ hair! Lita had refused to get me the fake Barbie stuff, and had paid extra for the real thing. I knew she was working extremely hard to make sure it looked as real as it felt, and I silently thanked myself for deciding not to get a haircut. In the past six weeks my hair had grown a few inches, and I was beginning to look like a California surfer boy. Jarod had even joked that my hair looked like the lead singer's from Switchfoot. Right now, however, that was the last thing from my mind. I was just glad it was longer. It blended much better!

A half hour later, I was ready to scream. I had never stayed for so long in one spot, and I was supposed to meet Darien in twenty minutes! The fear was beginning to grip me, and I was once again having trouble focusing. Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, however, I noticed the girls were standing in front of me, staring at their handiwork with a satisfied smile on their faces.

"So, that's what she looks like," Raye mused. "You didn't tell me you were beautiful!"

My eyes widened. "We're done?" I asked, my voice shaking a little.

"Welcome back, Serena!" Mina cried happily.

* * *

I slowly rose to my feet and turned towards the mirror. The brush in my hand fell to my feet, but I barely noticed. I was looking at _me_! The _real me_! My eyebrows were tweezed, I was wearing a bit of make-up, and my hair! I had hair! It was soft, and the same golden blonde I remembered, but best of all, it was long! I squealed with delight, and jumped up and down, hugging my arms to myself. Then, I turned around and threw my arms around my friends.

"Thank you," I whispered, and I could feel my eyes welling up. It was so stupid, but it felt so good to see _me_ in the mirror.

"Oh don't cry, Serena!" Lita moaned, and that's when I did start to cry.

"Good thing I used waterproof," Amy said factually, and my sobs turned to giggles.

"Thank you so much!" I blubbered. "I can't tell you how happy I am!" I laughed. "It's better than sex!"

"How would you know?" Mina joked, and we all laughed.

"We're not quite done yet," Raye reminded us, and I looked down to see I was still clad in sweatpants and a sweatshirt. She grinned. "I hope you shaved your legs!"

I had shaved my legs, and I was glad I'd done it. The girls had set me up with a pretty, light gray fifties-style skirt that reached just past my knees, and a beautiful pink cashmere v-neck sweater that was wonderfully soft to the touch. I laughed as my eyes fell upon the bra and underwear laid out on top of the outfit, but I was glad to see my feminine friends. It had been a while since I had worn such things. I smiled, knowing this outfit was perfect for the Indian summer we were having this year. The warmth hadn't left yet, but the leaves were beginning to turn. I was going to feel very Audrey Hepburn today, but I had no problem with that! Lita handed me a pair of simple black strap-on heels, and I took them.

"You've got five minutes, honey…" She informed me, winking. "I suggest you get changed!"

I smiled and began to walk away, when Mina stopped me. "Don't forget this!" She whispered, and pressed something into my hand.

I uncurled my fingers only to reveal a flash of diamond and silver in the shape of a crescent moon. I smiled, and shook my head in quiet disbelief.

"My necklace…"

Mina grinned mischievously. "Go get him girl!"

* * *

Five minutes later I emerged from the bedroom feeling like a _girl._ My feet were in not-so-comfortable heels, I was painfully aware of my hips and butt thanks to the clinging of my skirt, and my bra-straps dug slightly into the tops of my shoulders. Yep, I was feeling pretty good!

"Well, what do you think?" I asked, twirling around slowly so they could get a good look.

Mina whistled. "I told you I was going to turn you into a girl that would knock Darien's socks off!"

I blushed and shook my head. "Are you guys ready?" I asked.

They glanced down at their clothes, and nodded.

"Looks that way," Lita affirmed.

"Well, let's go then!" Raye said, heading towards the door.

The girls filed out one by one, but I remained where I stood. I realized then that I was terrified, and not even the warm smile Raye shot me from the door could quiet my pounding heart.

"I don't think I can do this!" I moaned softly.

"I think you can," she murmured.

I closed my eyes and willed my feet to move. For once, my body followed orders, and in seconds I was striding past Raye, who shut the door behind us. The clock read 11:03.

* * *

Walking back to the entrance of the boys' school took an amazing amount of concentration. We were taking the long way round, and the extra distance was certainly taking its toll. I not only struggled to get used to the extra three inches added to my height, but I was also having trouble breathing. Why was I being so weird? I knew this school like the back of my hand, and Darien was one of my closest friends… Still, I had been out of the feminine realm for so long, and being a girl felt very foreign to me-a scary thought for a seventeen year-old girl.

I felt someone grip my hand, and I turned to see Raye smiling at me.

"I'm going to leave you here," she said gently, giving my fingers a comforting squeeze. "Darien will think it's weird if I show up with you, but I'll only be ten minutes behind. Be brave, okay?"

I took in a shuddering breath, and nodded. "Okay."

Raye left then, and Lita and Amy filled her place at my side. Silently, we continued on, until the front of the school finally came into view. I stopped as I caught sight of Darien in the front entryway, pacing back and forth. I smiled for the first time since we left Raye's room. He looked as nervous as I felt!

"Are you ready?" Mina asked.

I hesitated for a moment, but then nodded. "Yeah, let's go."

Mina led the way, followed by Raye and Amy, and I took up the rear. My sister was confident, walking across the front lawn like she owned the place, and when Darien caught sight of her, he stopped short. He stared at us as we made our way over, and I could tell he was trying to figure out if Mina was me, or someone else.

"Are you Darien?" Mina suddenly called, and I saw his face relax with relief.

"Yeah!" He cried, stepping out into lawn to meet us halfway.

"I'm Mina," she said, extending her hand. He took it, and shook gently. "It's nice to meet you!" She glanced back at me and grinned. "I've heard a lot about you."

Darien, however, wasn't really paying attention to her. His impossibly blue eyes were focused on me, and a deep, warm feeling began to spread from the pit of my stomach out into my fingers and toes. _He sees me_, I realized, and I resisted the urge to explode with happiness right there. _He really sees me!_

"Serena," he suddenly murmured, and Mina stopped mid-sentence, and smiled wider.

For a moment I couldn't speak. I felt my cheeks warm, but all I could think of was how wonderful it felt to hear him say my name! I felt like a character in a corny romance novel, every word and look meant something from him-especially because he could finally see and know the _real me_!

As wonderful as these realizations were, however, I was still staring at him stupidly and not saying a word.

"H-Hi, Darien," I finally managed.

"Well," Mina suddenly spoke up, clapping her hands together. "I see you two know each other! That will make things a lot less awkward!" She winked at me from over Darien's shoulder.

"Hey Darien!" Someone suddenly called from behind us, and we turned to see Nathan coming towards our group with Zach, Mal, and Jarod in tow. "Where'd all the babes come from?" Nathan asked casually, and the girls and I laughed nervously.

Nathan's casual joke broke Darien out of his stupor, and he finally noticed that I wasn't the only one there. I admit I took a lot of pleasure from his obvious embarrassment!

"Oh! These are Ren's, uh, visitors," he explained. "They came here to see him, but he's got detention with Ms. Haruna. He wanted me to show them around," he said weakly.

"And you wanted to keep them all to yourself?" Nathan chided, clucking his tongue. "For shame!"

"No! It's not like that!" Darien protested, but Nathan cut him off.

"Are you going to introduce us or what?" he asked, then took notice of me, and his grin widened. "Well, you won't have to introduce _all_ of us." Darien blushed, and looked away.

"You guys, this is Ren's sister, Mina-" he explained, gesturing towards my sister, who waved. "And these two are…" he suddenly trailed off, and I nearly laughed outright. "I'm sorry," Darien apologized, "I didn't get your names…"

"I'm Lita," Lita broke in. "And this is Amy," she said, bringing my dark-haired friend forward.

Amy smiled at the boys, but a blush crept into her cheeks when she met Zach's gentle blue eyes. I raised my eyebrows when Zach blushed too, and suddenly I had a very evil idea. For the first time I realized there were as many girls present as boys, and if I played my cards right, I wouldn't be the only one walking away with a boyfriend when this was all over.

"And I know you all remember-" Darien began.

"Of course we remember Serena!" Nathan interrupted, flashing me his best smile. "Though I must admit, you look a lot cuter without your uniform!"

I laughed and shook my head, but also took note of the sad look on Lita's face. So… Lita already had a thing for Nathan! I wonder what she would say if she knew he thought she was cute!

"Cool it Nathan," Mal broke in, and walked right up to Mina, whose gaze widened a bit. "I'm Malcolm," he said softly, and extended a tanned hand. She shook it, and stepped back a little.

"Nice to meet you," she said easily.

Jarod suddenly cleared his throat, and I grinned. "Well, rather than introducing us all individually, I'll just do it all at once!" He said with a smile. "I'm Jarod," he pointed to himself, "and that's Nathan, Zach, and of course you all now know Malcolm and Darien…"

"Hi," we all said together, and laughed.

"Well," Nathan said, clasping his hands together. "Are we going to stand around here all day, or do you ladies want to see the sights. I know Darien is your designated tour guide, but would you mind it much if we showed you around?"

"Not at all," Lita answered, and Nathan suddenly looked shy for the first time that day. However, he noticed her bright smile, and relaxed a bit. "Well, let's go then," he said, gallantly offering his arm.

Lita took it, and glanced back at the other girls. "You guys coming?"

"Yeah," Amy and Mina answered, and Zach and Mal weren't far behind with their responses.

They all headed toward the lake, and were not surprisingly paired off. From where I stood I could hear Amy asking Zach about the architecture of the buildings, and Mina flirting with a stuttering Malcolm. Lita and Nathan were just out of earshot, but somehow I knew conversation was flowing easier than either of them expected. Only Jarod, Darien, and I remained behind.

"Should we head after them?" Darien asked finally, and I hesitated, glancing back at Jarod.

"You guys go on ahead!" he assured me, running a hand through his blonde hair. "I have to wait for Raye."

"My sister," Darien explained, and I nodded in mock understanding.

"Okay," I answered.

Darien and I started after the group, leaving Jarod behind to wait for Raye, who I knew wouldn't be long. We didn't say anything for a long time, but finally, Darien broke the silence with a nervous cough.

"So," he began, "how have you been?"

I smiled. "Busy," I answered, and looked away at his questioning look. "You know, school, work… You?"

"Same," he replied.

Another long silence ensued, much to my dismay. When I was Ren, I could say anything to Darien. We had history now, things we could talk about… As Serena, I had nothing to go on! I couldn't even ask him about photography, because I wasn't supposed to know!

"I see a lot of Ren," He said suddenly, and I glanced up at him. "We've become really close."

I felt a little bit of the tension fall away. "Yeah, Ren's a great guy," I agreed, giving myself a mental pat-on-the-back.

"Isn't it crazy how I met him here?" Darien asked suddenly. "I mean, I met you at the café, and then just a couple of weeks later, he showed up!" He laughed, and I gulped. "Pretty wild huh?"

"Yeah. Fate's an interesting thing," I muttered.

"I'm glad he came," Darien said suddenly.

"You are?"

"Yeah, I am. He's gotten me through a lot of stuff this year, made me see things I couldn't before," He paused, and stared at me, and that warm feeling coursed through my body again. "I owe him a lot."

"Me too," I answered, before I could stop myself.

Darien smiled at that, and we continued on, catching sight of the group sometimes in the distance.

"Are you two very close?" Darien asked.

I grinned. "You could say that," I quipped, and struggled to hide the humor in my voice. "Mina, Ren, and I, uh, grew up together. There's not much we don't know about each other."

"Guess I should have pressed Ren a little harder about you then, huh?" Darien's eyes took on a new sort of glow, and my heart skipped a beat.

I must have had a surprised look on my face, because Darien suddenly looked quite contrite.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

"You didn't," I said quickly, catching his arm before he could walk away. "Just surprised me, that's all."

Relief dawned over his face, and he smiled at me gently. "Come on," he urged softly, "we better catch up before we lose them."

I nodded and reached for his hand, gasping as an unexpected surge of electricity traveled up my arm. I looked up to see that Darien had felt it too, and immediately remembered the day I'd come to Madison. _This is weird_, I thought to myself. But I didn't let go.


	17. Chapter 17

_Okay, I know what you all are thinking... she should have been done by the 16th! Lol, well, I tried, but unfortunately didn't succeed before school started, so you'll have to bear with my terrible updates for a while longer. I originally wanted to keep this story going for longer, but considering how much depth I've been putting into it so far, I'm going to shorten my time frame just a bit... Don't worry, my story plan is the same, it just won't take as long to write it! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this short little chapter, I have one more coming right after!_

* * *

After our somewhat awkward moment, Darien and I didn't have much trouble talking. He told me everything about his family: Raye, his mom and dad, and even his dog! We chatted about our childhoods, places we wanted to travel to, and who we wanted to be. He disclosed to me his dreams of becoming a world-renown photographer, but also reluctantly divulged that he would most likely be heading to Harvard in the fall. His dad wanted him to go to medical school, and he didn't want to disappoint him.

"But why do you want to give up your dreams like that?" I asked, tucking a strand of hair behind one ear. "I mean, if you love photography so much, why don't you pursue it."

Darien sighed, and a look I had never seen before crossed his handsome features. "My dad's a doctor, his dad was a doctor, my mom has her doctorate…" He joked lightly, but I could see it was a serious matter. "He wants me to be great-you know, successful. It's important to him that I go far in life."

"Which I'm sure most parents want their kids to do," I assured him. "It's just, well, people tend to give up on their dreams a lot around here," I murmured, thinking about Jarod sacrificing art for law school.

"Oh yeah? How would you know?" Darien asked playfully, and I paled a bit.

"I just… well, it seems like they would," I answered, rather defensively.

I gazed at the brick buildings surrounding me, and for the first time, they looked more like the walls of a prison than a school… It was like Madison was a jail where people like Darien and Jarod locked their true desires away in order to become something someone else wanted them to be.

"It's like, parents push their kids into this place so they will be great, regardless of whether or not it's what they really want," I said softly.

Darien nodded thoughtfully at this, and I smiled as the wind picked up and tousled his black hair. I remembered wishing I could run my fingers through it and mess it up in the same manner. He immediately caught me staring at him, and I blushed and looked away.

"Come on," he said gently. "I'll show you the rest of the grounds."

And he did-not that I really needed to see them, but I feigned interest as he pointed out the dorms, classrooms, and cafeteria. We were just heading toward the lake when Raye and Jarod finally caught up with us.

"Sorry I'm late!" Raye gasped, tucking a strand of ebony hair behind one ear. "Molly was ruling the bathroom!"

I resisted the urge to grin as Darien turned to introduce me. Before he could, however, I stepped forward.

"I'm Serena," I said, winking at her. "Ren's cousin."

Raye beamed at me. "I'm Raye," she answered, raising both eyebrows. "Well, I see where Ren gets his good looks from," she teased, and we both tried to cover the laughs that were bubbling up our throats. Jarod rolled his eyes.

"Why thank you!" I answered, letting a little of my mirth escape.

"Am I missing something?" Darien asked, looking quite confused. I smiled at Raye and we both shook our heads, giggling in spite of ourselves. Darien shrugged. "Well, I guess we better catch up with the others. I think they're down by the lake."

Darien led us over the crest of the hill that bordered the large lake separating Madison from it's sister school. I looked down the grassy knoll only to discover Mina, Lita, Amy and the boys overlooking the expanse of water. It was so clear today, and as the wind picked up, leaves blew from behind me, and I watched as they whirled and twisted through the air only to settle on the glassy surface of the lake. I sighed, slightly in awe of the magic of nature. It was so easy to overlook the simple beauty of a strong wind in autumn. I glanced up to see Darien gazing at me, and I smiled at him.

"Well," Raye suddenly broke in. "Are we going to join them or what?"

We started moving in response to her question, and reached the large group below us in moments. The introductions quickly followed, but only the girls and I knew they were completely unnecessary. I felt a little guilty about it. Darien thought we were meeting by chance-that all this was the work of Fate. I wonder what he would do if he discovered today was actually the result of careful planning… I shuddered, not really wanting to think about it.

"So," Mina piped up, catching everyone's attention. "What are we going to do today?"

The boys glanced around at one another uncomfortable, and I suddenly realized they didn't have a plan.

"I dunno," Nathan said finally. "I guess we really didn't think about it."

The girls looked disappointed, but Raye rolled her eyes. "We could go to town," she offered. "Maybe get some dinner and see a movie."

"That's a great idea!" Mina encouraged, glancing at me. "We should see something scary!"

"I don't know," Zach warned. "It's a bit of a drive, a couple of hours at least…"

"That's not a bad thing," Malcolm said, shrugging his shoulders. "It's like, what?" He glanced down at his watch. "Almost twelve o'clock? We could be there by two, catch an early dinner, see a movie around four or five, and be back on the road by seven at the latest! We'd be back here by nine, and the girls won't leave till ten." He grinned. "We could probably join up with the bonfire before you ladies have to go!"

"Oooh!" Mina gasped, clasping her hands together excitedly. "That does sound like fun!"

"Then let's do it," Lita insisted. "We should leave right now."

"I can fit eight in my Navigator," Malcolm announced.

"I brought my car too," Mina put in, but suddenly smiled evilly. What was that about?

"Great!" Malcolm answered. "We can divide up, and meet at Del's Diner in a couple hours."

"But I don't really feel like driving," Mina said with a pout.

"Then who else is going to drive?" I asked.

"You, silly!" she declared.

"Mina, I don't have my license with me," I reminded her. She was planning something, I could feel it.

"Oh pooh! No one's going to pull you over out here!"

"I don't think it's a good idea," I insisted.

"Serena!" she whined, and I rolled my eyes. "I'm not really feeling up to driving right now, it's been a long trip…" she trailed off, and put on puppy-dog face. God, I hated when she did that! "Would you mind driving my car?" she pleaded, but I could see the amusement in her eyes. _Oh no…_ I prayed silently. _Please don't say it!_

"You could take Darien with you… He's got a license!"

I felt my face turn about ten shades of red, but not all of them were caused by embarrassment. I glared daggers at Mina's smirking face, and it was all I could do not to tackle and beat the living daylights out of her. However, she wasn't the only one grinning. As I glanced at the rest of the group, I noticed they were wearing the same smug expression.

"Absolutely," I growled, and her grin widened.

"Great! Here you go," she said, tossing me the keys. She gently reached out and took Malcolm's arm, turning only to waggle her fingers at me in an infuriating wave. "Let's go," I heard her murmur, as she urged the group to follow them. "I think she's about to kill me!"

Malcolm's laugh carried back to me, even though the wind was blowing the other way, and I felt my cheeks redden again. I turned to see Darien looking at me, the same embarrassment on his face, and I finally relaxed.

"Sorry about that," I apologized. "My sis-" I stopped, knowing I had almost called Mina my sister. I'd have to be more careful! "Mina," I corrected, "doesn't exactly understand the definition of 'tact!'"

"It's okay," he assured me. "I actually found it kind of… well, sweet."

I smiled at that, and we headed towards the guest parking lot, not really saying anything, but not really needing to.

* * *

My embarrassment didn't really end there, however. As soon as I started Mina's car, Darien and I were suddenly blasted with the ear-splitting harmonies of the Backstreet Boys singing "Backstreet's Back." I cringed visibly, and quickly shut the stereo off. Like nearly every girl, I had gone through a boy-band phase. I swooned while watching their cheesy music videos, sighed wistfully at their horribly corny lyrics, but unlike Mina, I had grown out of it. Sure, I didn't really mind-heck! I even sang along when she played the stuff! But having Darien right next to me while they're shouting "Backstreet's Back, alright!" was a little too much.

"I'm sorry," I finally managed, feeling my traitorous cheeks beginning to redden. "Mina hasn't really gotten over the boy-band craze yet!"

To my surprise, Darien started laughing. "That's nothing!" he assured me. "Malcolm has a secret soft spot for Kenny G. If you think your sister's bad, you should hear him hum along to the Christmas album when he thinks no one is looking!"

We both cracked up at that, and in that moment, the tension finally broke.

"Well," I said, as my chuckles subsided, "As much as I love to hear old Nick croon, let's find something else, shall we?"

I reached down to the floor and picked up her CD case. I flipped through the sheets quickly, and finally stopped on the U2 page I had insisted she put in there.

"Do you like U2?" I asked, hoping he'd say yes.

"I like what I've heard," he offered.

"And what's that?" I wondered, a teasing smile pulling at the corner of my lips.

"Their new stuff," he answered.

I glanced down, and my eyes settled on the _Joshua Tree_ album. "Ever heard the _Joshua Tree_?" I asked. It was released in 1987, but he might have heard it.

"I don't think so," he replied, and my eyes widened.

"You've never heard it!" I exclaimed. "Where have you been? Under a rock?" Darien laughed.

"Let's just say my mom encouraged me to listen to a different genre. I didn't get into other stuff until I started hanging out with Mal. He was always the rebellious one in the family."

"Really?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "I wouldn't exactly dub Kenny G as a 'rebel.'"

Darien cracked up again, and I pulled out the CD. "Well, because you have been denied such wonderful culture, I must take on the task of educating you!"

"Oh yeah?" He inquired playfully.

I grinned and slipped the CD into the player, cranking it up as the opening riff from "Where the Streets Have No Name" began to flow slowly out of the speakers.

"Yeah."

* * *

Moments later, we were driving away from Madison down a two-lane highway, with Darien laughing at me as I sang along with Bono at the top of my lungs. This was what I wanted! Finally I was feeling comfortable enough to be myself with him, to be the real Serena. I smiled at him as I sang through the second verse, and his eyes suddenly took on a that glow I remembered from before, and I had to look away. When he looked at me like that, I felt deliciously uncomfortable, and that feeling was strong enough to run me off the road.

I turned the music down as the song ended, and "With or Without You" began. God! I loved this album, and seeing that Darien was enjoying it as well was almost too good to be true.

"What are you like, Serena?" Darien said suddenly, tearing my thoughts away from Bono's crooning.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "We talked for over an hour back at the school, and you don't have some idea yet?" I joked.

Darien chuckled low in his throat, and I nearly shivered at the sound. "I guess I got a quick overview back at Madison, but somehow I think it'll take more than just an hour to figure you out," he smiled at me, and I once again turned my eyes back to the road.

"Well," I replied, "you're right. It'll definitely take more than an hour…"

"What's your family like?" He asked. "I know Ren and Mina are your cousins, but what about your dad, your mom? Any siblings?" he asked.

For a long time I couldn't answer. How could I tell him that Ren's family was my family. I was so sick of lying to him! I was slowly digging myself into a hole, and if I kept going, I might never get out of it!

"Ren and Mina are my family," I answered softly.

"Oh," he replied, crestfallen. "I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about," I said honestly, placing my hand over his, hoping it would be some source of comfort to him. "They're all I need."

He smiled at me gently, and nodded in understanding.

A long silence ensued after that, but thankfully it wasn't an uncomfortable one. We had U2 to keep us company, and for a while at least, it would be enough.

* * *

_Thank you all so much for your awesome reviews and suggestions! Keep 'em coming:)_

_By the way, I am in no means bashing BSB in this chapter-I used to love them! Sorry, just had to say that in case I got a few complaints... :P_


	18. Chapter 18

_Here's another quick little chapter! They'll be heading back to the school soon, and then the drama will begin! DUN DUN DUN! grins evilly I'll have more out for you guys soon, so stay tuned!_

* * *

About an hour later, the CD ended, and we were forced to look for another one. While Darien flipped through Mina's selection, I occupied myself with surveying the road around us. It really was beautiful country. I lived in a small town, so I was used to all the greenery, but when I thought about Darien taking a cab through the grimy streets of New York, it made me glad that I was brought up in such a natural environment. Still, if I got into NYU, grimy might become the norm to me.

"How about Simple Plan?" he asked.

I laughed, but shook my head. "I haven't heard them in a while, but they remind me too much of my ex-boyfriend, so I'll have to say no."

"Ex-boyfriend, huh?" Darien teased. "Should I be worried?"

I smiled sadly. "No, I don't think so."

We were silent for a while, then Darien broke the quiet once again. "What was his name?"

"Seiya," I replied, and sighed as the image his dark hair and sweet, earnest face loomed in my mind's eye. "My first encounter with love," I explained, chewing at my lower lip. "It didn't go so well. Not only was he the sweetest and funniest guy I ever met, he was also a pathological liar. One of those situations where you have to let go, but you don't want to." I winced in remembrance.

"I know the feeling," Darien suddenly broke in, and I smiled faintly at him before turning my eyes back to the road.

"I met Seiya at work actually," I said. "He was the new kid in school, not really my type-we had very different tastes in music, clothes, just about everything-but when he came in, he charmed the pants off me." I laughed bitterly. "I was never so crazy about someone in my whole life! He made me laugh, he made me feel beautiful, and then I started to notice things…" I trailed off.

"You don't have to talk about it," Darien assured me, his eyes gentle.

"No," I answered, not looking at him, my voice quiet. "I want you to know everything about me."

He smiled softly in response, and suddenly reached for my hand, tenderly placing it between his own.

"As a boyfriend, Seiya seemed to be the perfect guy. He was funny, sweet, tender, romantic, and every girl envied my ability to catch such an amazing boyfriend. But as happy as I was with him, it wasn't long before I stopped overlooking the many idiosyncrasies he had. He would buy me expensive gifts with money he didn't have, he claimed he had a job that neither I, nor any of his friends, had been to… He became jealous of my close relationship with my boss Andrew, and started accusing me of being with other people." I felt my eyes begin to well with unshed tears and blinked them back furiously.

"I loved him more than anything, but I couldn't convince him of that. Then, he started to talk about marriage. He told me I was the only woman he wanted to be with for the rest of his life, and that scared me. I didn't know what to say to him, because I couldn't say it back. I loved him so much, but the thought of settling down so young terrified me. He couldn't even trust me to be alone with my boss, but he wanted to make me his wife…" I laughed again. "Over the next couple of weeks, I took a long hard look at myself, and realized I didn't like what I saw. I wasn't Serena anymore. I was always walking on eggshells around Seiya, I never saw my friends, and I had stopped confiding in Mina. I realized I had to get out of the relationship, and I did. It was a long, drawn out, ugly process, but I finally did." I stopped, and looked Darien right in the eye.

"It took me a very long time to feel something for someone else," I said softly.

"Do you feel something now?" he asked, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

"Yeah," I replied. "I think I do."

We were quiet for a few moments, then he smiled, and pulled away from me.

"Well, how about Weezer?" he asked playfully. I laughed, feeling the tension ease it's way out of the car.

"Sounds good."

* * *

A half hour later, we stopped for gas at a small road station and diner. To our surprise, Mal's Navigator was parked outside of it, and the group was having lunch inside the small restaurant.

"Would you look at that?" I said, pointing at the smiling faces peeping out at us from the building's interior.

"Good thing we stopped," Darien answered, opening his door and lifting himself out of the car.

We both stretched for a minute, easing the tension that had built up in our muscles over the drive.

"You hungry?" he asked, grinning at me.

"You buying?" I teased, and laughed as he nodded. "Let's got then."

We headed into the diner, and I smiled at the atmosphere of the restaurant. Fifties music blasted from the jukebox in the corner, the interior was red and white-complete with checkered curtains, and there was even a tiny dance floor in the corner, empty for the moment. We were greeted with a wave from Malcolm, and I frowned as Mina leaned in and whispered something into his ear. My expression quickly became quizzical as he laughed heartily in response.

"What took you guys so long?" Mina asked slyly, throwing me a simpering grin.

"Took us a little longer to get to your car," I explained, taking the empty seat next to Amy. Darien sat down beside me.

"You guys hungry?" Lita asked. "We couldn't wait for the diner in town."

"You mean, _you_ couldn't wait!" Nathan teased, and Lita flushed with embarrassment.

"Everyone else was hungry too," she protested, a little more defensive than usual. However, the way she blushed under Nathan's shining grin was explanation enough.

"How's the drive going so far?" Jarod asked, smiling knowingly at Raye.

"Good," Darien answered, looking a little uncomfortable himself. "Serena introduced me to U2's _Joshua Tree_ album!"

"How'd you like it?" Mina asked eagerly. "It's one of her favorites!" she put in.

"I loved it," he answered, and grinned at me. "She's got good taste…"

"Aren't you just loving the scenery, Serena?" Amy suddenly spoke up. "The botanical life of this area is absolutely stunning! It's a lot like home, but both Zach and I have noticed a few species that aren't native to Vermont. It's utterly fascinating!"

I smiled. "I'll have to take your word for it."

She smiled back and turned to Zach to resume their conversation on the origins of a particular flower, and I tuned them out. As much as I loved having an intellectual discussion with both Amy and Zach, I was in the mood for something a little different. Still, I couldn't help but notice how well they were getting along. It was strange actually, when I looked around the table, our entire group was paired into couples. Although Mina had been teasing me when I walked in, she was now completely focused on Malcolm, joking with him and making him laugh. Lita and Nathan were talking about their karate classes, and Jarod and Raye always had things to talk about. It was like a massive double-date, and Darien and I had brought it all together…

But how would it end? None of these boys lived close, and not all of my friends were going to college out of state. Lita wanted to get her business degree and open up a restaurant, Amy was heading to Columbia's pre-med program, Mina wanted to be an actress, and I-well, I was going to New York. Jarod, Nathan, and Zach were California boys, but Jarod would probably be an east-coaster when he went to Harvard. Both Malcolm and Darien were from New York, but who knew where they were headed for college! Maybe what I was doing wasn't such a great thing. I was showing them things they might not be able to have… When it comes to love, or even liking someone, is it better to not have it at all, or to have it and give it up?

I shook my head as Darien touched my arm, signaling me that our waitress had arrived. I decided to push my deeper reflections aside, and just have fun. The girls were having a good time-something they hadn't had in a while-and there was no reason for me to think badly about it.

"What'll it be, honey?" The waitress asked, smacking her gum loudly. I glanced at her nametag and read "Flo." This was too much!

"Double cheeseburger, extra cheese, no onions, and a milkshake…" I answered, struggling not to stare at her garish make-up and bright red hair. She looked like something out of _Grease_. It was almost, well, _cool._

When Flo walked away, Darien turned to me and smiled. "Did you do that on purpose?" he asked.

"What?" I wondered.

"You ordered the exact same thing as I did!" he pointed out.

I blushed, realizing I probably did, and I let out an embarrassed laugh. "I never told you this," I began, making a strong effort to look him in the eye, "but when you came in that day, you ordered my favorite meal, right down to the chocolate milkshake!" I laughed again, and this time he joined me. "It made me like you," I said softly, and his laughter died down.

"It makes me like you now," he replied, and my cheeks flamed again, but we laughed it off. "So," he stated, chuckling, "how long have you been working at the Comfort Café?"

"Almost two years," I answered. "I started when I turned sixteen, and I'll be eighteen in June."

"You like working there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I responded, smiling gently. "I work with Lita and Amy, and Andrew's one of the best friends I've ever had. I've known him since I was five years old."

"How old is he?" Darien asked.

"Twenty-two. His family owns the café, and in a few years, his dad will pass it down to him. For now though, he just runs the place." I smiled, realizing I really missed Andrew and his bad jokes. When I went home, it would be great to see his happy-go-lucky grin again.

Suddenly, my thoughts were broken as the jukebox switched from Jerry Lee Lewis' "Whole Lotta Shakin' Goin' On," to the Shirelles crooning "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow." I smiled to myself, remembering a particularly romantic scene from _Dirty Dancing_, and began humming along.

"You like this song?" Darien wondered, breaking me out of my reverie.

I nodded. "Yeah, reminds me of one of my favorite movies…"

He smiled at me, and then glanced over at the tiny dance floor. "You want to dance?" He asked, suddenly appearing very shy.

I laughed and shook my head "no." We were the only customers at the moment, but I was still a little bashful for some reason. The last thing I needed was for Mina to be immature while I was cutting a rug with Darien.

He laughed, and stood to his feet anyway, offering me his hand. "C'mon!" he insisted.

I laughed too, but I cocked my head towards the group, who were now favoring us with questioning glances.

"Don't mind them," Darien said dismissively. "Dance with me."

My heart dropped into my stomach, but I nodded, rising to my feet as an inexplicable feeling of déjà vu swept over me. I took his proffered hand, he led me to the dance floor, and then pulled me gently into his arms. His eyes never left mine as we swayed to the soothing beat of the song, and the warmth that spread across my body was only aided by the soft rays of light that filtered through the diner's curtains. His hands were tenderly placed at my waist, while my arms were draped around his neck. Dimly I could hear the group whispering behind us, but I was too concentrated on the sensations filling my body to care. It was like he could see right through me, right to the core of my very being, and for the first time in my life, that didn't make me uncomfortable. I wanted to drop all walls for him, I wanted him to know all of me. There was a connection between us, and if I had met him once, or a hundred times, that connection would always be there. I guess for me, love-at-first-sight did exist.

"What are you thinking," he suddenly asked me, and I jumped, a little startled.

"I was thinking that I feel really safe with you," I murmured softly, looking away.  
He pulled me closer, and I could feel him smiling against my cheek.

"I like your honesty," he said softly, and I smiled too.

The song ended a little too soon for me-perhaps for both of us, because Darien pulled away as reluctantly as I did. We headed back to the table hand-in-hand, and I couldn't escape the sly (and somewhat envious) smiles the girls shot me from across the table. Our food had arrived, and we ate pretty quickly. I made fun of Darien's table manners, while he teased me about not knowing the wonders of dipping my fries in chocolate milkshakes. A half-hour later, we were ready to be on our way again.

"Well, we'll see you guys in about a half hour or so!" Mina said, as we stepped out of the cool air of the diner and into the warm Saturday afternoon.

"Yeah, we got to fill up first, but we'll be right behind you," I answered.

They smiled and nodded, and after saying our goodbyes, they all piled into Mal's car and pulled away. Darien and I filled up the tank with gas quickly, but as I reached for the car door, he stopped me.

"How about I drive? You could rest," he offered. I beamed at him.

"Thanks," I said, tossing him the keys.

"You're welcome," he answered. "Let's get this show on the road!"

I laughed. "All right."

* * *

We were laughing by the time we pulled away, and conversation went very smoothly the rest of the way to town. We eventually caught up with Mal and the others, and by the time we pulled into the small theater parking lot, we had already picked a movie. The guys wanted to see _Saw_, for obvious reasons, and because I didn't mind the thought of clinging to Darien's arm in the dark, I didn't object.

We lucked out by barely catching the 2:30 show, and five minutes later, we were filing one-by-one into one of the back rows. The movie had been out for a couple of weeks, and this was an early show, so the theater was nearly empty. However, this only enhanced the creepiness of the film.

"I'm warning you," I whispered into Darien's ear as the lights began to dim, "I'm a total wimp when it comes to scary movies."

He laughed softly. "I was counting on it."

I was glad it was dark in the theater so he couldn't see how furiously I was blushing. Still, he wasn't disappointed. I'm not much for slasher-films, but this one sufficiently freaked me out. I was cracking up at some of the crappy dialogue and acting, but the gore and the really intense scenes often caused me to grab Darien's hand and bury my face into his shoulder. He bore my outbursts with gentle patience, and towards the end, finally slipped an arm around my shoulders. My heart pounded at his tender gesture, and for a while I couldn't concentrate on the movie. I glanced around to see the rest of our group in a similar position to Darien and I, and I smiled. This _was _a good idea, and as I gazed at Darien's calm features, I realized I hadn't had this much fun in a long time.

Suddenly, I made a decision and pushed the cup-barrier that sat between us out of the way. Before Darien could say anything, I moved closer and snuggled into his warmth. I heard him gasp softly in the dark, but a moment later, his hold tightened on me. I smiled, and we didn't move from our comfortable position until the movie was over.

* * *

_Love it? Hate it? Review please!_


	19. Chapter 19

_I know, I know... I'm TERRIBLE with my updates! It's because of my new job (not that I'm making excuses), and because I started school again. I've been having to pick up shifts at work to pay for my Study Abroad trip to Italy this summer, and sadly, with school it hasn't left me any time to write. However, I've finally managed to scrape together a few moments and I have two--count em!--two chapters for your enjoyment! Thanks so much for sticking with me you guys, I know I can leave terrible cliffhangers for horrible lengths of time... anyway, read on and enjoy!_

* * *

The movie ended about an hour later, but no one moved from their positions until the lights came up, and even they seemed to come as a surprise. I leaned closer into Darien's muscular shoulder, gently breathing in his soft scent, which was familiar, but somehow impossible to place. It didn't matter though, he smelled beautiful! I sighed softly and lifted my eyes to gaze up at his features, and I realized I didn't want to move from my comfortable spot as his side. It was as if we fit together, that we were a perfect match, and I had never felt so safe in my entire life. That magic moment was broken, however, when Darien suddenly shifted position, signaling to me that it was time to leave. I rose from his warm embrace reluctantly, and he politely offered me his hand as he stood to his feet.

"What time is it?" I asked, stretching my arms out as I rose into a standing position.

He smiled and glanced down at his watch. "A little after four. If we head back now, we should get there by six or so… There's usually a bonfire Saturday nights, do you want to go?" he asked hopefully.

I smiled, thinking about a chilly night in front of the bonfire cuddling with Darien and decided the answer to that was easy. "Sure," I replied, attempting a disaffected shrug, but I knew happiness was written all over my face by the way Darien grinned at me. He was about to say something else, when Mina's perky face popped into view.

"So!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "How did you guys like the movie?"

"It was okay," Darien answered. "Crappy dialogue, but the ending was a bit surprising."

I smiled, not wanting to tell him that I had suspected the actual killer from the beginning. I loved mysteries, and I was pretty good at solving them, so it took a lot to astonish me. However, I had to admit the movie had done a pretty good job of hiding the identity of the real killer... If I hadn't seen so many horror/mystery movies, it probably would have shocked me too.

"Did you think it was scary, Serena?" Mina suddenly asked, breaking me out of my thoughts, and I blushed.

"Yeah," I admitted. "I'm a big chicken anyway, but that stupid puppet of his freaked me out!"

Darien and Mina chuckled at my response, and we slowly began to file out of the theater. We nodded our heads at the bored-looking college students leaning against the concession stand, and made our way to the glass double-doors. We were greeted by the orange glow of the nearly setting sun, and I smiled at the pink tinge it gave to the fluffy clouds around it. I loved sunsets, and as I turned to see Darien and my friends staring at the same wonder of our planet, I questioned whether or not I had ever seen anything more beautiful. When my eyes settled on Darien's piercing blue orbs, however, I decided that I had.

"Well," Malcolm suddenly murmured, tearing everyone away from our moment. "It's about four-thirty right now. If we leave right away, we could make it back to Madison around six-thirty--seven o'clock or so."

"Just in time for the bonfire," Nathan said excitedly, rubbing his hands together like a mad scientist. Everyone laughed.

"You guys ready to hit the road?" Jarod asked, his arm comfortably draped around a grinning Raye.

We all nodded, but Mina suddenly stepped forward. "Actually, I was thinking we could switch up the ride situations," she put in. Everyone turned to look at her, and she blushed lightly. "I think the girls should ride in my car on the way back."

"Are you sure?" Malcolm wondered, not appearing to like the idea.

"Yeah," Mina answered, grinning slyly. "It's time for a little girl talk."

I rolled my eyes, once again cursing Mina's lack of subtlety, but I had to admire her brashness. Nothing drove a guy more crazy than knowing that a car full of girls were discussing him. Still... I did wish I could have another two hours alone with Darien, but Mina was right. It _was_ time for girl talk, and I'm sure they had just as much to tell me as I had to tell them.

"All right then," Malcolm agreed reluctantly. "But let me give you my cell number in case anything happens. If we get separated and you girls get stuck somewhere, things could get crazy. I don't want to worry about you," he confessed.

"Awwww!" Mina cooed. "My hero!" Then something happened that I had never seen before... Icy Malcolm actually BLUSHED! The guys appeared just as surprised as I did, and Nathan even gave Zach a little nudge.

"Well, just take it down okay?" he muttered, looking quite embarrassed. "And give me yours too..." Mina grinned, but they exchanged numbers quickly.

"Well," Raye sighed, "I'll see you in a couple of hours then." She leaned over and gave Jarod a quick peck on the cheek.

"Drive safe girls," Zach urged, his soft green eyes falling on Amy, who smiled brightly at him.

We all nodded, and started away, but a chuckle erupted from my mouth as I heard Nathan crack a joke about Mal's rude attempt to get my sister's number. I looked back for a moment only to see Darien's eyes still following me. When he noticed me staring back at him, he suddenly blushed and started back towards the others. I smiled, totally giddy now, and turned back around only to see that Mina and the girls had formed a circle around me.

"What?" I squeaked out.

"Spill." Mina commanded.

* * *

I laughed and pushed through Amy and Lita, heading towards Mina's green Civic. "There's nothing to tell," I teased. "We had a good talk in the car, listened to good music, and..." I trailed off, feeling my cheeks heat up.

"And what?" Raye asked, a devious smile gracing her pretty features.

"And then we cuddled for an hour in the theater!" I cried, throwing my arms around myself and hugging tightly.

The girls laughed and started screaming out the typical _"oooo's_" and _"ahhhhh's"_ that only girls can do in between their fits of giggles.

"It was so wonderful!" I gushed. "It was like a dream!"

"Oh please!" Lita joked, rolling her eyes. "Can I shoot her now?" She asked the girls, and they laughed in response.

"Hey!" Raye protested. "The Shields' _are _great cuddlers! It runs in the family!" she insisted with a wink.

"Well," I exclaimed, "whatever it is, it was wonderful. But enough about that for now! What is going on with you girls?" I asked, rounding on a surprised Amy, Mina, and Lita.

"I don't know what you mean!" Amy insisted, suddenly appearing quite shy.

"Nothing!" Lita replied in a voice that would have made Napoleon Dynamite proud.

"Oh give me a break!" I cried, rolling my eyes, glad to finally be on the offensive. "Amy, you've been making goo-goo eyes and having plenty of intellectual discussion with Zach since you got here! _You _can't take your eyes off of Nathan, Lita... and Mina!" I whirled on my sister, who tried desperately not to look as trapped as I'm sure she felt. "What's up with you and Malcolm?"

She smiled. "He's nice, and he's pretty cute..." she trailed off, and attempted a disaffected shrug.

"_Pretty cute_?" Raye asked incredulously, opening the car door. "That guy is the biggest eye-candy Madison has to offer next to my brother--and Jarod of course!" she added quickly, before slipping inside the dark recesses of the auto.

The rest of the girls followed suit, and I admit, I got quite a kick out of the pink that stained Mina's pale cheeks before her head disappeared from view. We all buckled up once inside the car, but the conversation resumed when Mina started the engine.

"So what is the deal, Mina?" I asked again. "Do you like Mal, or what?"

"Why aren't you bugging Lita and Amy?" she asked suddenly, sounding slightly irritated.

"Because I KNOW they're into Nathan and Zach... they're way too easy to read. You and Mal are a little more tricky. You flirt with everyone, but I can tell Mal is into you."

"Really?" she wondered, sounding interested for the first time. "You think so?"

"Duh," Raye muttered, and I laughed.

"Okay, fine!" Mina exclaimed, giving up. "I like him okay? I mean, it's not the heart-thumping love you probably feel for Darien, but I like him. He's a nice guy, and he's gorgeous, and well... I guess I haven't been around that in a while."

"Aw, Mina that's so cute!" I squealed, reaching over and giving her a tight squeeze.

"Stop it!" She shouted, laughing as she pushed me away. "You'll run me off the road!"

"She means it you know," Raye suddenly broke in. "Mal is totally into you, and that's a rare thing. Mal may be one of the hottest guys at Madison, but his interest in women is pretty limited…" "Yeah, I know his standards are pretty high," I muttered, remembering our conversation on the definition of the "perfect woman."

"But enough about me and the girls!" Mina insisted. "This entire fiasco has been about you and Darien… So spill the beans! What have you guys been talking about, and what was that dance like?"

"Oh Lord!" Raye moaned with a laugh. "Don't get too cheesy with me okay? Remember, this guy is my brother!"

I laughed, but shrugged my shoulders, feeling the butterflies begin to swirl within my stomach. "I don't know," I murmured. "I've been wishing for this day since I came to Madison, and I would feel incredibly corny if I tried to express how happy it's made me…" I sighed, and lifted my arm to support my chin as I gazed out the window at the passing trees growing dim as the sun sank lower on the horizon. "To say that today has been perfect would be the understatement of the century. I've gotten everything I've wanted… well, _almost_ everything," I finished, smiling a little.

"No action yet, huh?" Lita said dryly.

"Lita!" We all shouted, and she laughed.

"I swear, she's worse than I am!" Raye said, grinning.

"Get used to it sweetie. I just say what everyone else is thinking!" Lita quipped.

"So how is this all going to end, Serena?" Amy wondered, and we all sobered a bit. "Are you going to tell Darien eventually, or are you hoping Ren will disappear without him noticing?"

A long silence ensued, and in the middle of it, Amy let loose an embarrassed chuckle. "I didn't mean to ruin the mood," she apologized, "but I do think the issue should be addressed."

"You're right, Amy," I replied softly. "And to answer your question, I haven't decided yet… I don't really don't know what I'm going to do." I turned to glance back at Raye, whose violet eyes glowed beautifully in the shadows that were growing inside the car. "You know him best, Raye. What should I do?"

"I've never been in this situation, Serena," she answered truthfully. "I know my brother doesn't like liars, but I also know that Ren has become a huge part of his life. With me, honesty is always the best policy… but I can't guarantee that it'll keep him around."

A strong, and terrible fear gripped my heart at her last words, and the car was silent for a long time afterwards. I watched the sun sink below the gentle sloping mountains in the West, and as the stars began to blink out in the darkening sky, I was reminded of Darien's gentle touch and intoxicating scent. Today had been just like a dream, just like heaven, but was it meant to last? How _would _he react if I told him the truth? What would he do if he found out one of the few people he trusts isn't real? When I thought about what I would do in his position, I realized I had never been more afraid in my life. Tears threatened to spill from my eyelids, but then I felt a soft touch at my shoulder. I turned to see Raye's beautiful face, a soft smile gracing her full lips.

"Don't worry, Sere…" she whispered quietly. "Love conquers all."

I trembled at her tender words, and fervently hoped that what she said was true… Lies were not the strongest basis for a relationship, and I couldn't keep mine up forever. Sooner or later, Darien would have to know the truth. The question was whether or not he'd be able to accept it, and love me afterwards.

* * *

An hour and a half later, the mood had finally shifted to a happy one. Lita had admitted to her growing crush on Nathan, and Amy had blushingly confessed her blooming affinity towards Zach.

"He's very intelligent," she confided, smiling to herself. "I've never felt more comfortable with anyone, and it's never been so easy for me to keep up a conversation."

"Zach is easily the smartest guy in school," I commented. "If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be passing Calculus right now." I smiled, and turned to Lita. "Nathan's a big goof though… He can drive me crazy sometimes, but deep down he's a really sweet guy."

"I know! He's so exciting!" Lita gushed, her emerald eyes sparkling. "Whenever I tell a guy I know karate, they immediately become intimidated and try to cover it up with some joke about how they have to watch out for me now… Nathan was totally different, and completely into it! He even invited me to be his sparring partner!" She giggled, and tucked a stray strand of auburn hair back into her ponytail. "I don't know, I found it sort of sexy."

"Is this girl as bad as she appears to be?" Raye managed through her laughter. "Or is this just an act?"

"I'm beginning to wonder…" I cracked, and we all started laughing.

"Oh come on!" Lita insisted, a pretty blush creeping into her cheeks. "You gotta admit, the thought of tussling a cutie like Nathan is appealing!"

"Tussling?" Mina repeated. "Dang Lita, I think we need a cold shower up in here!"

That cracked us up again, and Lita finally admitted her defeat between giggles. "I'm not as terrible as I seem," she insisted, smiling at Raye. "But someone's got to keep these girls on their toes, and at the very least, I keep them laughing!"

"Jarod's a cutie though, good job on that one Raye," Mina said with a grin, doing a swift subject change. "How long have you two known each other?"

"Since I was in eighth grade, but I didn't go to school with him until my freshmen year. Jarod lives in California, so I didn't meet him until he came to Madison, and even when I did, he was nothing more to me than Darien's cute friend…" she smiled in remembrance. "He was so handsome, funny, and cocky as hell, even back then. When Darien first introduced us, it was pretty disastrous. It was summertime, and the boys and I were on a picnic at my uncle's estate in upstate New York. We were having a good time, the boys were teasing me of course, but good-naturedly--Darien would never let them go too far." She laughed, and shook her head. "Anyway, we were walking in the woods, and we passed this old abandoned crate. The boys stopped because they thought they could hear bees inside."

"Oh no," Mina moaned. "I can see where this is going…"

Raye giggled, and nodded. "Well, you know guys, they always have to stir something up, so they decide finally that they're going to kick it and run like hell…" We all started to laugh at the absurdity of this logic, but Raye continues on through her giggles. "The only problem was that none of them wanted to do it! However, Jarod--being as cocky as he is--finally steps forward and declares that 'he'll do it!'" She smiled, and shook her head. "So he did, and we all ran away as fast as we could with a whole slew of them buzzing behind us…" She paused, and grinned again.  
"Now I had been against the idea from the start! I have a 'live and let live' policy with bees, and when Jarod kicked that hive I felt bad for the poor things. It figured I turned out to be the only one that got stung!"

"Oh no way!" I squealed. "It was _their_ idea, and _you_ got stung!"

"Five times, and I'm allergic to insect bites. My hands and arms started to swell up like balloons, and one had even gotten me on the cheek. I looked so horrible, and I was so embarrassed that Jarod was seeing me like that…" She shuddered.

"And you _still _liked this guy?" Lita asked incredulously. "I would have thought he was a first-class jerk!"

"That's just the thing though," Raye insisted. "While I sat there on the forest floor crying my eyes out, Darien and the boys ran back to the house to get help. Jarod felt so terrible, he refused to leave my side, and remained with me until my uncle arrived with medicine," she laughed again. "He must have apologized a thousand times before they all showed up, and he didn't let go of my hand until my uncle lifted me up to take me home." She sighed. "That was it for me, I was totally hooked. He can be completely brainless sometimes, but when it comes down to it, he is the most kind and steadfast individual I have ever known."

We all let loose a loud sigh as she finished, envying the romance of that first encounter.

"How cool of a story would that be to tell your grandchildren someday?" I murmured softly, and Raye laughed. "I mean, the jerk gets you stung by an army of bees, and you forgive and forget. And then you're all swollen and miserable, and the guy still falls head-over-heels for you… It's like something out of a movie."

"Yeah, well I hope I never see a movie that inflicts that much pain," Raye quipped, and we all laughed again. "Besides, I think I like your story better…" she murmured. "How many people can say they met their one true love in a diner, and then dressed up as a boy to be close to them?"

I smiled softly, and shook my head. "I don't suppose any could."

"It's pretty romantic though," she pointed out.

"Yeah, I guess it is," I replied.

"We're here!" Mina exclaimed suddenly.

"What?" I asked, lifting myself up in my seat.

"We're here!" She repeated. "We made it back!"

"Short trip," Lita muttered.

"In the right company, time does fly," Amy commented.

"You said it, sister," Raye murmured.

* * *

_Love it? Hate it? Review please!_


	20. Chapter 20

_Here's Chapter 20! Enjoy!_

* * *

Ten minutes later, we had parked the car and were headed back to the grounds. As we neared the entrance, we caught sight of the boys lingering outside. I smiled as I noticed the thick blankets Darien and Jarod were carrying in their arms, and felt a small shiver go through my body. This was going to be interesting evening, but I was sure I wasn't going to be complaining about it. The stars were out, a sliver of moon glowed softly in the night sky, and I would be under these celestial bodies with a man I was quickly falling in love with. A nervous excitement filled the pit of my stomach, and it only grew stronger as we approached the boys.

"You guys ready to head down to the lake?" Darien asked, smiling at me. I returned his grin shyly, and nodded.

"Yeah," Lita answered, falling into step with Nathan. "Let's go."

The rest of the girls followed suit with Zach, Mal, and Jarod in tow, but Darien lingered behind, looking slightly agitated.

"I tried to find Ren when I came back, because I knew he wanted to see you guys, but he wasn't in his room," his brow furrowed, and my heart skipped a beat.

"Maybe he's already down at the lake," I offered, attempting a helpless shrug.

"Maybe…" Darien agreed. "But it's really not like him to go places by himself… I don't know, I'm kind of worried about him."

"Ren's a big boy," I put in, hoping to comfort him a little, but not completely ignoring the guilty stab at my heart. "He can take care of himself."

Darien didn't look convinced, but he finally sighed and nodded. "You're right, he's probably down there already. You want to head down now?" he asked.

"Yeah," I answered. "Let's go."

We arrived at the bonfire five minutes later, and it was already crowded. I smiled as I took in the red-orange flames that leapt at the sky with gorgeous ferocity, and admired the reflection that glowed off the surface of the lake. The atmosphere was wonderful too. Groups had congregated together on top of wool blankets, and a few people had brought musical instruments out. It amazed me that individuals attending such a preppie school would be into jamming together like hippies at a beach party, but it was a pleasant surprise. Just as I noticed a young man plucking out a Jack Johnson tune, I heard Jarod calling my name. I turned to see our group of friends settling themselves down at a spot a comfortable distance away from the fire, and I started to make my way over.

"Serena," I heard Darien say from my right, and I turned to look at him. "I'm still worried about Ren, so I'm going to go look for him okay?"

I suddenly felt so guilty I could barely stand it. "I'm sure he's fine, Darien," I assured him. "He'll turn up."

"I don't know," he insisted. "Ren's got a few enemies around here, and well, I'm just used to looking out for him."

"You really care about him, don't you?" I wondered.

A strange expression crossed Darien's features, and for a moment, I was almost jealous. "He's my best friend," he finished. "I just have to make sure he's okay."

"All right," I relented. "I'll see you in a bit."

He nodded and strode swiftly away to his surely fruitless search for me. I sighed, feeling terrible, and starting make my way over to Raye and the others. Suddenly, however, my progress was blocked by a tall figure.

"Hey there," a decidedly masculine voice reached my ears, and my eyes widened as I looked up.

It was none other than Lucas Diamond, who would have looked incredibly sexy in his tight white shirt, denim jacket, and loose-fitting jeans--if I didn't know him better. A genuine smile graced his full lips, and in his smoky violet eyes, I could decipher an emotion that could only be described as desire. _Oh, God_.

"I'm Lucas Diamond," he said, extending a tanned hand.

"Hi," I answered shortly, ignoring the hand and attempting to press past him. He, however, quickly blocked my way.

"I haven't seen you here before," he observed huskily, leaning his head down to peer into my eyes. "Exchange student?" he offered hopefully.

"No, I don't go here," I replied coldly. "I'm visiting someone."

"Not Darien, I hope?" he asked, glancing back at Darien's retreating figure. "I would be so disappointed to hear that he had managed to capture yet another beautiful girl before me!" he joked, but I didn't laugh. "What's your name?"

"Serena," I said shortly, my irritation growing at his pathetic attempt to pick me up.

"Serena," he repeated, making an almost laughable attempt to make it sound sexy. "And why are you here, Serena?"

"I'm visiting my cousin, maybe you know him," I answered, offering him a chilly smile.

"Oh yeah? Who's that?"

"Ren Johnson," I replied, and watched with pleasure as his flirtatious grin faltered a little. "You know him?"

"Ren?" he repeated, then laughed. "Oh yeah! Nice guy, we're pretty close…" he lied, and I almost laughed in his face. "He didn't tell me he had such beautiful relatives, though."

"He didn't tell me he had friends that resort to petty flattery in order to pick up girls," I quipped, pushing past him. Diamond, however, did not get the hint, and remained right on my heels, grabbing my arm and turning my body towards himself.

"I'd be willing to resort to more than petty flattery to impress _you_," he insisted, giving my form a long once-over. I rolled my eyes.

"Not interested," I muttered, jerking my arm away and resuming my trek towards my friends, who were now watching the exchange with some concern.

"What?" he asked, catching up with me quickly. "You're not interested in _me_?"

"I don't repeat myself," I declared, leveling him with a steady gaze. "It's not my fault you're deaf as a post!"

A queer look suddenly replaced his angry expression, and for a moment, I was afraid of him. The fear quickly passed however, and after shooting him another glare, I squared my shoulders and made my way over to my friends.

"Are you okay, Serena?" Jarod asked quickly, looking me over to make sure I was all right.

"I'm fine," I assured him, then glanced back at Diamond, who was still staring at me with the same strange expression. "What a creep!" I exclaimed angrily.

"That's Diamond for you," Nathan agreed. "He and your cousin don't get along either."

"It's easy to see why," I muttered, before helping Zach spread a blanket out.

Darien arrived a few minutes later, looking very anxious. "I couldn't find Ren anywhere," he explained. "I'm really worried about him."

My distress must have shown in my face, because Raye immediately stepped in. "Don't worry Dare, I'm sure he'll turn up," she soothed. "Maybe he didn't feel well and he went back to the dorms."

"Do you think I should go check on him?" he asked.

"No," Raye answered. "I think you should do what he told you and take care of his guests. I'm sure wherever he is, he's got a good reason for being there."

"I can go look for him!" Mina suddenly interjected. "I mean, Raye, Jarod and I can head up to the dorms and make sure he's okay. If he's not down here, I'm sure he'll be up there," she insisted.

"Then I should go with you!" Darien insisted, and my eyes widened. Was it me, or was he a little _too_ worried about Ren?

"No," Mina argued. "You should stay down here in case Ren comes back. I also don't want to leaveSerena here by herself, especially after what that blonde guy did to her."

_Oh, good thinking Mina!_ I thought quickly.

"What?" Darien asked, whirling on me. "What happened?"

I almost smiled at the obvious concern evident in his face, and caught Mina's sly wink over his shoulder. "It was just this guy… Lucas something or other," I explained, shrugging nonchalantly. "He hit on me, and was a tad bit overzealous."

"Are you okay?" He asked, checking me over quickly. I laughed.

"I'm fine," I promised. "We Johnson's may be small, but we're a tough lot. We're pretty good at looking out for ourselves…"

At these words, I watched Darien visibly relax, and he smiled. "You're right," he agreed. "Okay, guys…" he called over his shoulder. "Go check the school." He turned back towards me and his easy-going grin seemed to melt into something much deeper. My breath caught in my throat, and I had to look away. "I'll stick around."

"All right then," Mina said, looking quite pleased with herself. "Raye, Jarod, do you want to go with me?"

"Sure!" they agreed.

"Can I come too?" Malcolm asked, and Mina faltered for a moment.

"Yeah," Jarod said, glancing at Mina to let her know that it would be all right.

However, she still hesitated for a moment, but then reluctantly agreed, much to Malcolm's disappointment. I could tell he thought she didn't want him to go, and I suddenly felt awful! My lies were causing trouble for everyone, and I could do nothing to fix it right now. After I sent Mina an apologetic look, they all headed up to the school to look for "Ren."

Nathan and Zach, however, had different ideas for Lita and Amy. Nathan wanted to go over by the music and try out some of the tunes he had been working on (a new discovery for me, I had no idea he played), and it proved to be a proposition Lita heartily accepted. Zach, on the other hand, wanted to break away from the fire and check out some of the constellations that were visible only at this time of year. Unsurprisingly, Amy was only too happy to go with him. That left Darien and I alone by the bonfire, and as our friends walked away, we became painfully aware of our situation.

"They did that on purpose," Darien finally stated, and we both started to laugh.

"I can't say that I mind, though," I returned softly, and his face quickly became serious.

After a moment, however, he snapped out of it and lowered himself into a cross-legged position on the blanket. After he was comfortable, he raised his eyes to me and patted the spot next to him.

"Sit," he urged, and I complied, settling myself next to him, but not too close. We were silent for a few moments, taking in the wild flicker of the growing flames, but he finally broke it with one of the most inane questions I've ever heard at such a romantic moment:

"What's your favorite color?"

I laughed outright, and he joined me, his deep tone sounded almost musical when mixed with mine.

"That is probably the most random question I have ever been asked!" I admitted.

"Well," he began, shrugging his shoulders. "I figured a game of twenty questions would lighten the mood. I'll ask you something, and then you can ask me… Deal?"

I grinned. "Deal--and my favorite color is pink, or blue, depending on my mood."

He wrinkled his nose. "Pink? That's the best you can do?"

I laughed. "Okay, _carnation pink_, or cobalt blue. Satisfied?"

He nodded after a bit of deliberation, and leaned back on his elbow. "Your turn."

"What's your favorite food," I wondered.

"Vanilla ice-cream on top of a hot cookie," he paused for a moment, thinking, and I was glad he failed to notice my knowing smile. "What's your favorite flower?"

"A rose," I answered immediately, and then blushed as I realized that's how he smelled. "Your favorite color?" I wondered, pressing on before I thought too much about his scent.

"Black, or red, depending on my mood," he added, offering me a sexy smile. "Cats or dogs?"

"Dogs," I decided easily. "Night or day?"

"Night. Summer or winter?"

I smiled. "Winter, I love the snow," I confided. "Same question…"

"Winter," he answered easily. "I love the snow too, and summers in New York City can suck. McDonalds or Burger King?"

"Neither, it's all about Subway!" I protested.

"Yes!" he exclaimed, slapping me a high-five. "Turkey or the BMT?"

"Turkey, with avocado and honey-mustard."

"Oh!" he moaned, wincing. "No way does a turkey beat the BMT!"

"With honey-mustard and avocado it does! I'm not a big salami person!" I explained, chuckling at his disgusted expression.

"That's blasphemy!" he declared, and I laughed heartily. "I suppose you're going to tell me you dislike pastrami on rye too!"

"Pastrami, no, but I hate rye bread… it tastes funky!" I insisted. He appeared to be deeply wounded by my response, but I couldn't stop giggling.

"Oh, it's over!" he exclaimed, his voice rising. "I can't be with a girl who doesn't like a good Rueben sandwich!"

I grinned. "So I was up for consideration, eh?" I batted my eyelashes flirtatiously, and he rolled his eyes.

"Don't be cute!" he warned. "I am still recovering from the fact that you don't like rye bread."

I laughed and shook my head. "What if I liked someone who _did _like rye bread?"

He started, and even I could hardly believe my brazenness, but I refused to look away from him. After a moment, however, he relaxed, and a soft smile formed on his perfect lips.

"I guess could live with that…" he admitted, and he reached down and took my hand.

"Wow, you two look cozy," a sneering voice broke through our moment and I raised my eyes only to see Beryl standing above us, one hand placed upon her full him. Her green eyes were filled with a quiet rage, and I couldn't deny that for a moment I almost considered feeling guilty about our innocent position.

However, this _was my night_, and there was no way this cheating bimbo was going to ruin it. So instead of running like a scared rabbit, I leaned in closer to Darien, laying my head on his shoulder, and shot Beryl a sultry grin.

"We _are_ quite cozy," I admitted, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Darien shoot me a surprised glance. "I'm Serena," I said, extending my hand. She ignored it, however, and shifted her gaze back to Darien.

"What's she doing here? Is this some ploy to get me jealous?" She asked through gritted teeth.

"Of course not," Darien answered easily. "She's here visiting her cousin, and besides, I have no desire to get you jealous. If you are, it's all on you."

Her green eyes nearly blazed with anger at his casual response, and I had to stifle a giggle. She shot me a look that clearly said "watch your back," but I answered it with a simpering smile, and then watched her attempt to saunter away.

"Ex-girlfriend," Darien explained. "Similar to your situation with Seiya, but a little more devious. Took me a long time to get past her…"

I took in her long red hair, beautiful face, and gorgeous body. "It's easy to see why."

He followed my gaze, but shook his head. "It had nothing to do with how she looked. She was amazing when we first met--smart, funny, and sexy, but good too. Then she hit high school and figured out how desirable she was. With someone pushing her in the wrong direction, she became who she is today: someone I don't recognize." He shook his head, and then shifted his eyes to study me. "If you want the truth, I find _you_ much more beautiful."

A tremendous amount of blood rushed to my cheeks at that last comment, but I managed to smile through my evident embarrassment. I realized after a moment that I was still holding his hand, and I gave it a gentle squeeze. He looked at me for a while, as if studying every contour of my face, and I let him.

"What's your favorite TV show?" he suddenly murmured, and I laughed.

"You're still stuck on that?" I asked. He chuckled low in his throat and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me close.

"You only answered six of my questions…" he explained. "I want the full twenty!"

I laughed and leaned my head against his shoulder. "_Family Guy_."

"Put me through to the pentagon!" he cried, doing a wonderful impression of Stewie, and we both cracked up. A moment later, his laughter stopped, and he looked me full in the face. "Do you believe in perfection?" he wondered.

I blushed, and looked away. "I thought it was my turn to ask you…"

He shook his head. "It was a dumb question anyway."

I smiled and snuggled closer to him. "I don't believe in perfection," I admitted. "But I do believe you can come impeccably close," I added, my voice barely reaching above a whisper. He craned his neck to look down at me, and his mouth twitched a little.

"I'm starting to believe the same."

* * *

It's amazing how quickly time can pass when you're falling in love. As I leaned against Darien that night, the hours passed like mere minutes. We gazed into the fire, watching as the flames dimmed lower and lower. We discussed both the mundane and deep, and for a blissful few moments I failed in my ability to concentrate as Darien absentmindedly caressed my arm between elbow and shoulder. The night was absolutely perfect, in all meanings of the word! A soft breeze was blowing through the cedars above us, and as I inhaled the woody scent, I was sure I had never experienced a moment so beautiful in all my life! It was truly amazing, and it was flying by far too quickly.

"What are you two up to?" A curious voice suddenly inquired, and I looked up to see Mina. She eyed the arm around my shoulder with keen interest.

"Enjoying the scenery," Darien answered, glancing at me and grinning. I laughed and shook my head.

"Well, we found Ren!" Mina informed us, and it was all I could do to keep from gulping. "He's sick," she explained, and I relaxed visibly. "Yeah, he claimed he's been feeling under the weather since detention, and probably wouldn't make it down tonight. He wanted me to say hi to you, Serena, and he wanted me to tell _you_ that he'd see you later and to stop worrying about him!" She chided Darien, who laughed.

"Just wanted to make sure he was okay," he insisted, and Mina nodded.

"He's fine," she assured him, "but I'm going to join Malcolm and the rest of the group over there," she said, pointing to a group that was gathered around Nathan, who was strumming a guitar. "You two have fun," Mina said, winking. "And I'll be back in a half-hour so we can go."

My face fell at Mina's last words. The night really was almost over. In a half hour my pumpkin would wither, my dress would turn to rags, and my hair would fall out! God, being Cinderella _sucked_! No wonder my favorite princess was Belle.

"A half-hour huh?" Darien murmured from above me, and I leaned in a little closer before nodding.

"Looks that way," I agreed.

"Are you going to be visiting again soon?" he asked hopefully.

"I don't know," I admitted.

"Well, what are you doing Thanksgiving?"

"I don't know, probably spending it with family," I answered truthfully. "You know, tradition."

"Well, if you get any spare time, come up and see us. I'm not going home, and if Ren isn't, you could come see us both. I know he really wanted to see you," Darien said, smiling.

My heart sank. What could I say to that? Sorry Darien, but Ren and I wouldn't ever be able to physically exist together in the same room because, well, I am Ren! Yep, the one person you put your trust into is a fake! Oh, and by the way, I'm also falling in love with you! Could you possibly feel the same for me? I nearly sighed, but managed to look away before Darien could see the ever-lingering guilt in my eyes. I highly doubted he'd be able to give me a positive response after all of that.

"We'll see," I murmured, and he smiled brightly at me. I managed to respond with a believable expression, but inside I was screaming.

Still, fighting through my discomfort proved easy as Darien started talking about what he usually did for Thanksgiving.

"We _always_ have Turkey," he admitted, laughing a little. "Raye and I always make the mash potatoes and green beans, and my mom and dad always stuff the bird together." He smiled. "It's the only time I can see why they fell in love," he confided, a small smile pulling at his lips.

"Do your parents not get along?" I wondered.

He shrugged. "They just don't see each other very often. I mean, right after they got married my dad started his internship at the hospital. By the time he received his medical license, my mom was pregnant with me. After she had Raye two years later, she got the job at the Metropolitan. Raye and I pretty much grew up with nannies and in daycare centers."

I frowned. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it really wasn't so bad. Our nannies were nice, and it wasn't like we never saw our parents, we just didn't see them as much as other kids. Besides, it isn't like they did it on purpose, they are just busy. When we do see them, we have a lot of fun, but sometimes you notice the tension their schedules put on their marriage and home life. They don't like it, but there isn't much they can do about it. Having busy parents has its drawbacks, but Raye and I have wonderful opportunities because of them."

"Do you want that for your own children?" I asked.

He hesitated for a moment. "You've got to understand," he began, "everything Raye and I have now, we owe to them. It's a very profitable lifestyle," he explained.

"I understand that," I assured him, "but is that what _you _want?"

"I don't know," he said with a shrug. "On the one hand, it has great benefits, but I wouldn't mind having a family one day that stays together… You know, everyone around the same table every night, reading bedtime stories to the kids, and kissing the wife goodbye every morning…" he glanced at me and noticed the small grin playing at my lips. "I know it's all kinds of lame!" he put in, throwing his arms in the air. "But someday, well, it would be nice."

"You'll never get it as a doctor," I said softly, and he jumped slightly.

"We'll see," he answered. "If there's anything I'm good at, it's making things work." I smiled, and we fell silent.

"What time is it?" I wondered, and he lifted his arm to check.

"Nine forty-five." he informed me, and I had to stifle a groan. Damn time and its persistence to move on! Why couldn't it be kind and slow down for just a few more moments? "You should probably be going…" Darien admitted reluctantly.

I nodded and grudgingly pulled away from him, feeling his warmth leave me, and was somehow reminded of a solitary footprint in the snow. I suddenly felt very lonely, and wished fervently that I didn't have to go. As I rose to my feet, I saw Mina and the girls making their way over with Malcolm and the rest of the boys in tow. The night was really over, and people were already starting to say goodbye. I could see them all exchanging numbers and affectionate embraces, and I smiled to myself knowing Darien would probably want to do the same thing.

"Can I walk you to your car?" he asked, and I nodded my agreement.

We fell into step behind the group, and after a few moments, Darien took my hand. I smiled in quiet happiness and leaned closer to him, letting our shoulders brush against each other as we continued to walk.

"We talk about you a lot," he said suddenly, and I raised my eyes in surprise.

"Who?"

"Ren and I," he explained, and a blush crept into my cheeks.

"You do?" I asked.

"Yeah," he answered softly. "You know, I never forgot that day at the café." He smiled, and his eyes settled upon the silvery shape settled against the base of my throat. "I never forgot _that_, either."

I grinned, and glanced down at my pendant. "I remember it was the first thing you noticed about me," I said shyly.

"Well, you'd be wrong there…" he paused, and for the first time I saw him blush. "Your pendant was my excuse to say something to you," he corrected. "The first thing I noticed were your eyes…"

I suddenly was aware that we had stopped moving, and I shivered as Darien moved closer.

"My eyes?" I repeated.

He nodded. "I know this sounds so stupid, but I'd never seen anything like them before." He suddenly reached forward and gently brushed aside a golden strand of hair that had fallen into my vision, and I trembled at his soft touch. "When I walked through that door, and saw you standing there, it was like everything stopped," he murmured. "And later," he looked away, "when you smiled at me… I couldn't breathe."

My throat went dry, and for a moment, I couldn't speak. Darien, naturally, took my silence the wrong way.

"God, I'm sorry! You must think I'm some sort of weirdo dropping you a line," he apologized quickly, but suddenly looked quite determined. "Look," he said gently, and stepped even closer to me. I wasn't sure how long I could take being at such near proximity to him. I could practically feel the heat radiating from his skin, and it was absolutely intoxicating!

"When I left that day," he continued, seemingly oblivious to my awe-struck state, "I felt such regret knowing that I had let a wonderful opportunity go by. Don't ask me how I knew, I just did!" He insisted, but I had no intention of protesting. "There was something special about you, and I felt like such a coward for not making a stronger effort to find out what it was. Ren has given me another chance to find out, and for that I'm really grateful, but what I want to know is if you felt _anything_ that day we met… And if you did, where do we go from there?"

I gaped at him, completely blown away. How do I answer this? My mind had suddenly turned to jelly, and I was rendered speechless.

"Jesus, I'm totally freaking you out right now, aren't I?" He asked mournfully. "Ugh!" He growled, turning away. "Forget I said anything!"

"Wait!" I cried reaching out to him, but I pulled away just before I touched his tanned skin. I knew if I did, I'd lose complete control of myself and kiss the living daylights out of him. "Just wait a second."

"Yeah?" he asked, turning back around to face me. I stared at him, nervous and uncertain, but finally gave up and beamed at him.

"Of course I felt something for you," I said softly. "If I didn't, would I be here now?"

He smiled hopefully, but shrugged. "I don't know, you could have just come to see Ren…"

"Have you been paying _any_ attention today?" I asked, incredulous. "If I had just come here to see Ren, would I have been practically throwing myself at you? I mean, I haven't exactly been subtle!" I commented, chuckling a little. "The truth is, I never forgot that day at the café either, and when I found a way I could see you again, I took it… I'm sorry I couldn't answer you right away, I was just a little surprised. I did enjoy your outburst though--it was very flattering."

"So you just let me go on like that?" he teased.

"Hey! I didn't exactly want to stop you!" I joked, and laughed.

He laughed with me, and reached out to pull me close. I stopped laughing abruptly, and sighed deeply as his arms tightened around me. I buried my face into his shoulder, feeling the hardness of his muscles beneath my fingertips. "You didn't answer my question," he whispered into my hair.

"What question?" I asked.

"Where do we go from here?"

I lifted my head and gazed deeply into his blue eyes. There was a whole other world within those depths, and there was nothing I wanted more than the time to explore them. They were solemn now, but in them I could decipher other emotions: desire, and something much deeper. Suddenly, he began to lean in, and I closed my eyes, gently reaching up to curl my fingers into his dark hair. He was so close, _so deliriously close_, and just as I could feel his warm breath against my lips, the mood was broken...

"Serena! What's the hold up? Oh, gosh, I'm _so_ sorry!" Mina had suddenly sprinted around the bend of the path only to find Darien and I locked in a compromising position.

He laughed shyly, and quickly pulled away from me, much to my dismay. "It's okay, you weren't interrupting anything!" he assured her, but I could hear the restraint in his voice.

"I highly doubt that," Mina answered wryly, and I rolled my eyes. She turned to me, and I could see regret in her pretty features, but determination was there as well. "We gotta go," she said quietly. I nodded reluctantly, and turned to see Darien still standing there, suddenly appearing very shy.

"I have to leave," I said quietly, and he nodded in agreement.

"Come visit me soon?" he asked.

"I'll try," I promised.

I stepped forward, wrapped my arms around his neck, and stayed there for a few moments breathing him in. As I pulled away, I let my lips linger against his cheek, and nearly grinned at his surprised expression.

"Goodnight," I whispered, as Mina took my hand and started to pull me up the path.

"Goodnight," he murmured, and a few moments later, he disappeared from view.

"I'm so sorry! If I had known you guys were lost in some romantic moment, I never would have come looking for you!" Mina apologized fervently, but I barely heard her. For a brief few moments, Darien had been all mine, and although Mina had denied me something I'd been desiring for a long time, I had that--which was definitely enough.

* * *

Moments after we left Darien behind, we reached Mina's car only to find Raye, Jarod, and the rest of the girls standing beside it.

"What took you so long?" Lita asked, curiosity evident in her green eyes.

I shook my head. "I'll tell you about it later," I promised. "You guys have to get out of here!"

Mina nodded, and quickly embraced me in a tight hug. "Will you be able to get back okay?" she asked.

"I'll be fine. Drive safe, all right?" I said quietly.

"You got it little sister," she agreed.

I chucked softly. "Only by five minutes!"

"Still counts," she teased, tapping my nose with one long finger.

I smiled and turned to hug Lita and Amy, who looked about ready to cry.

"Come home soon, okay?" Lita asked.

"I will."

"Keep up with your studies!" Amy ordered, and I laughed in response.

"You have to tell me _everything_ Nathan says about me tomorrow!" Lita declared, grinning mischievously.

"I think that goes for all of us!" Mina cried over her shoulder, as she opened her door and got in.

Lita and Amy laughed and gave me one last hug before piling into the car after Mina. A moment later, her engine came to life, and we backed out of the way while she pulled out. Suddenly however, Mina hit the brakes, and rolled down her window.

"I almost forgot something!" she called out. She reached for something beside her and held it out for me to take. I ran over quickly and reached for the small package cradled in her slim hand. "A little present. I thought it might come in handy!"

"Thanks," I said, looking it over. "What is it?"

"Open it up when you get home," she ordered. "I love you!"

"I love you too."

She smiled and drove away, lifting her hand once more in farewell just before heading out the gate. I watched her go with tears in my eyes, and prayed that this fiasco wouldn't go on much longer so I could go home again.

"You ready to head back, Serena?" Raye asked tentatively, laying a gentle hand above my shoulder.

"Not really," I muttered. "But I have to… Let's go."

I turned around and strode past a surprised Jarod, but he and Raye quickly followed me trying to ignore my muffled sobs.

* * *

Ten minutes later we were almost to Raye's dorm and I had calmed myself.

"Don't worry, it's almost over!" Raye pointed out. "You got what you wanted today… I mean, I've never seen Darien so happy! Or you!"

"I know," I agreed. "I just really didn't want it to end. Everything was so perfect, and we almost kissed each other! God, it was like a dream!"

"Oh, Lord!" Jarod moaned, and I laughed.

"Sorry, I don't mean to get mushy. I guess it's a girl thing," I apologized, and Raye smacked him.

"Don't listen to him. He's just being macho right now, inside he's a big puppy dog!"

"Or so she likes to think!" Jarod whispered in my ear slyly, but I saw the good-natured grin that flickered across his face as Raye fumed next to me.

She huffed for a few minutes, but soon after we all were laughing. It was so easy to be happy with them, and even though I was depressed that my girl-self had to be buried again, I realized that without this whole mess, I never would have made such wonderful friends.

Suddenly, a twig cracked in the bushes from somewhere behind us, and we all froze.

"What was that?" I asked, my voice full of fear.

"Shhh," Jarod hushed, placing a finger against his lips. "I don't know."

"It's probably a raccoon or something…" Raye said rationally.

We were all quiet, none of us wanting to consider if it wasn't. Half of Madison knew I wasn't a student there, and a girl on campus after the school closed was very suspicious indeed. Jarod stepped closer to the bushes, and began peering into the shadows.

"Jarod!" Raye whispered fiercely. "Get back here!"

For a moment, he didn't listen to her and continued to gaze into the darkness. Finally, however, he gave up and rejoined us.

"I don't see anything. It's probably just an animal…" he reassured me, but somehow, my heart didn't stop thumping.

"What if it wasn't?" I asked.

"Well, wouldn't they have made their presence known and gone running to the dean about an unknown girl on campus? If anyone's slinking around here after hours, they're serious narcs. Believe me, if there was someone there, we'd know," Jarod insisted.

I smiled, but I still wasn't completely at ease. Even when the path was far behind us, and I was out of my extensions and on my way back to the dorms, my fear remained. What if someone had been out there? Would they be able to put two and two together? For my sake, I hoped not.

* * *

_This story is quickly winding down to the big finale, so stay tuned guys! _

_Love it? Hate it? Review please!_


	21. Chapter 21

_Hey everyone! I'm sorry again about the updates, but I wanted to upload a quick little chapter before I start my finals! I'm hoping to finish this story out in a couple of weeks, but if I can't manage it, I may have to take a short hiatus (about four weeks) while I'm in Italy. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter (although I'm already expecting protests for the cliffhanger!), and I promise I'll have at least another long chapter out before I leave! Enjoy!_

* * *

Once Jarod and I entered our room, I finally allowed myself to relax. I came to the conclusion that he was right. If someone had been out there, the alert would have been sounded and I'd be busted by now. I sighed as I readied myself for bed, yanking off each shoe and letting them fall to the floor with a dull thud.

"What are you going to do tomorrow?" Jarod asked, pulling a paint-stained shirt over his muscular chest. I shrugged my shoulders and smiled grimly.

"Same as always: wake up at four a.m., go to class, and pretend like I'm not in love with my best friend." I ran a hand through my short hair and immediately missed the extensions, as well as my beloved bra now laying in a bag buried underneath Raye's bed.

He chuckled low in his throat, and I resisted the urge to join him despite my gloomy disposition. "But you had fun, right?" he wondered.

I nodded, sighing again. "A little too much fun," I admitted. "But it was nice to see everyone was enjoying themselves as much as me…"

He grinned good-naturedly. "Yeah, what was up with that? I've never seen the guys so interested! But," he put in, "you do have some really pretty friends."

"They're more than just pretty," I pointed out, and he rolled his eyes. "They're also brilliant, kind, and wonderful."

"Don't get all girly on me now," he muttered, and I laughed.

"Turn out the light," I ordered, throwing a pillow over my face as I threw myself back on the bed. "I have an early start tomorrow!"

He nodded, and headed over to the door. Just as he reached for the switch, however, I felt a sudden lump at the small of my back, and jumped visibly.

"Hold on a minute!" I murmured, reaching underneath me. Much to my surprise, my fingers closed over the forgotten box Mina had given me earlier. I smiled and gently traced its blue surface with my fingers, gently caressing the soft pink ribbon around the outside. I shook it gently, and heard something rather substantial clanking inside.

"You going to open it, or what?" Jarod demanded sleepily, his hand still on the light switch.

I ignored him and gently lifted the lid of the box instead, only to find a note on top of tissue paper.

_Serena,_

_Knowing that this situation has been a huge pain in the neck for you, I wanted to get you something to make the ordeal a little more bearable. I thought of all the obvious things: __flowers__, chocolates, jewelry… but then decided to give you something that would not only grant you access to Darien, but to all of us as well. Enjoy it little sister, and may it give you more insight into the great love you seek after!_

_My Love Always,  
Mina _

_PS: It's already been activated, and the number's on the back of this note… Be sure to pass it on to dear Darien, but I better be the first one you call!_

I smiled in puzzlement as I read her last words, but as I pushed aside the folds of tissue paper, my quizzical grin quickly widened to one of delight. Inside the box was a small silver cell-phone!

"What is it?" Jarod asked, peering over my shoulder, and I raised it higher so he could get a better look. "Nice," he murmured, chuckling a little. "Looks like she thought of just about everything!"

"It's what she's good at," I commented, flipping the phone open and turning it on. Mina, Amy, and Raye's smiling faces suddenly appeared on the opening screen, and I smiled as unshed tears pricked at the back of my eyelids. "Gosh, I miss them already!"

"You'll see them again soon," Jarod soothed, patting my shoulder awkwardly. I smiled softly and nodded before turning around to look at him.

"You can shut the light off now," I said, reaching down to pull the phone charger from the box. I leaned over and plugged it in just as the room went dark.

"Tomorrow's a new day, Serena," Jarod murmured tiredly from across the room. I heard the rustle of his bed sheets as he slipped between them, and I smiled into the blackness.

"I guess," I answered.

"You'll probably be quite popular," he muttered, and I giggled softly.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure the guys will be just _dying_ to talk to me in the morning!"

We both laughed, but a few moments later Jarod fell silent, and not long after that his snores filled the room. I laid in the dark for a long time, my mind filled with thoughts of Darien and everything that had occurred during the day. It had been the greatest day of my life, and although I was exhausted now, I knew I was never going to get to sleep with all this stuff running through my mind. I needed to think, and I knew just the place to go for it.

I rose slowly from my bed, wincing as my weight sent a strong creak through the floorboards. Jarod snorted across from me, and I heard him shift around in his bed. I held my breath for a moment, and finally released it when his snores resumed once more. I crept slowly to the door, and opened it, leaving Jarod's noisy sleeping pattern behind me.

I found the door to the attic easily in the dark, and it took me only a minute to get up the stairs. As I reached the top threshold however, I was surprised to see moonlight already shining through the trapdoor leading to the roof. Dimly I could hear soft whistling from above. The tune was oddly familiar, soft and mournful, and although it belonged to no song I recognized, I knew I had heard it somewhere before.

"Darien?" I called softly, and the whistling suddenly stopped. A second later, his head popped into view.

"Ren?"

"Yeah, it's me," I whispered. "Can you give me a boost up?"

His arms reached down in answer, and with his help, it wasn't long before I joined him on the roof.

"Feeling better?" he asked, and I grinned nervously.

"Yeah, sorry I worried you…" I apologized, and he leveled me with a slightly resentful gaze.

"You just kind of disappeared on me, that's all," he explained. "And I knew your sister and your cousin wanted to see you. I don't know, it was just a little irritating I guess."

I flinched guiltily at his somewhat harsh words, but I couldn't ignore the truth in them. We were silent for a while, but finally Darien sighed.

"Look, I don't want to lecture you. I'm actually in a pretty good mood."

"Oh really?" I asked, arching an eyebrow. "How come?"

"I got to see Serena," he offered, and I grinned excitedly.

"Did you have fun?" I asked, trying my best to sound innocent.

"I had a blast," he admitted. "She's really amazing: smart, funny, beautiful, everything a guy could want in a girl. I'm starting to wonder if this whole thing is too good to be true!"

I beamed at him and shook my head, struggling to hide the blush rising into my cheeks. "Would you like to call her sometime?" I asked casually, trying to stifle the giddy laughter that was quickly rising into my throat.

"Yeah!" he exclaimed enthusiastically. "You have her number?"

I grinned. "I've got it lying around here somewhere," I quipped, and he smiled widely at me.

"What would I do without you, man?" he asked, casually tossing an arm around my shoulders. I struggled not to shiver at this friendly display of affection, but he didn't seem to notice my strange reaction. "How long have you had her number, anyway?"

I shook my head, and shrugged nonchalantly, forcing him to remove his arm from its comfortable rest. "Not that long. It's a new cell phone, and Mina gave me the number when she came up to see me."

"Well, I definitely want it. We had such an amazing connection, and I really want to see where it goes."

We were quiet for a long time, but Darien broke it with deep sigh, and proceeded to lean back, folding his arms behind his head.

"She's wonderful," he said softly, and I turned away as the roses in my cheeks began to bloom. "Today was so awesome, like a movie, you know?"

"I can imagine," I murmured.

"You must think I'm a loser, being so mushy about a girl…"

"I'd never think you were a loser," I replied honestly, and he smiled up at me.

"Yeah, I know," he agreed. "It's just awesome that I can talk to you. I mean, you know what it's like to be nuts about someone… I could never say this stuff around the other guys."

"Yeah," I muttered sarcastically. "I'm just so sensitive!"

"Hey!" he protested, sitting up and putting a hand on my shoulder. "I didn't mean it like that. I like the fact you can be honest with your feelings. It's a good thing!"

We stared at each other for a long time, and suddenly I felt strange… There was something in his eyes, an odd flicker that I hadn't seen before. Suddenly I was very aware of our surroundings. The wind rustled through the pines, the stars shone brightly above us, a crescent moon glowed dimly from the horizon, and I was on a secluded rooftop with the man I loved. If I wasn't careful, this could go very badly, but was it my imagination that Darien seemed to be thinking thoughts along the same line?

"We should get to bed," he said, breaking me out of my thoughts. I blinked once, and then nodded, rising to my feet. "You'll give me Serena's number tomorrow, right?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure," I promised, relieved. "Remind me tomorrow morning."

"Sounds good. Night!" he called over his shoulder before disappearing through the trap door.

"Night," I murmured, and lifted my eyes to the night sky, frowning slightly.

I couldn't get rid of the troubled feeling in my heart. Was it just me, or had Darien and I had a moment? I didn't really want to think about it, so after a few seconds of deliberation I decided to push it aside, and slipped through the trap door, landing with a soft thud on the attic floor. I made my way through the dark effortlessly, descending the stairs with practiced ease, and reached the door to my dorm a few minutes later. Making sure not to wake Jarod, I entered silently, but flinched as my bare foot brushed against something on the ground.

"What the--?" I muttered, and reached down to recover the offending object.

My fingers closed around a smooth, fibrous surface, and I immediately recognized it as an envelope. Puzzled, I picked it up and headed for my bed, turning on my small lamp as I sat down. Jarod groaned from the other side of the room, but I ignored him as I took in the name spread across the surface of the envelope in elegant cursive: _Ren_.

I lifted an eyebrow, and felt my heart quicken. I opened it hurriedly, and as my eyes scanned the words on the page inside, my entire body went cold. The papers fell from my fingertips as terror gripped me, and I released a strangled cry, immediately waking Jarod from a deep slumber.

_Ren,_

_I know who you are, and I know what you are… The question is, can I keep it a secret?_

The note wasn't signed, but it didn't need to be. Someone had seen me outside earlier tonight, and that one moment could blow my whole cover.

"Serena!" Jarod called sleepily, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Someone knows," I croaked, pointing at the papers littering the floor.

"What?" he asked fearfully, and rose from his bed. He bent down and gathered the papers quickly, and paled as he read them.

"What are we going to do?" I whispered.

He raised his blue eyes to me, and for the first time I saw doubt within them. He didn't know, and it was then I knew I was in_a lot_of trouble.

* * *

_Like it? Hate it? Review please!_


	22. Chapter 22

_Wow... I know, I know... It's been a REALLY long time! Sorry about that everyone! It turns out I was a lot busier than I thought I would be when I returned from my Italy trip (I had a wonderful time by the way!), and consequently, my updates have suffered. However! I have two new chapters for your reading pleasure--although I have a feeling the second one will earn me more than one toss of rotten fruit due to the cliff-hanger ending. I'm sorry! Lol, but I am on a roll now so there will be more to come, and soon! Enjoy!_

* * *

"Who could it be?" I finally managed.

We had been silent for the first horrifying moments after realizing that someone knew my secret, but it was time to narrow down the possibilities. I glanced up only to see that Jarod had absolutely no idea, and I closed my eyes, trying to blot out the sound of that twig cracking in the woods.

"Could it have been Malcolm?" I suddenly asked, remembering that he had accompanied Mina and the others to check on me earlier in the night, but Jarod only shook his head.

"He waited outside the door with me while Mina and Raye came in here and pretended to talk to you. He didn't seem very suspicious considering that you were supposed to be sick, so it's not very likely…" he trailed off and shook his head. "Besides, this letter is way too threatening for it to be a friend of ours. If Malcolm knew, he would have confronted us outside, not sent some creepy note."

I nodded slowly, realizing Jarod was right. I glanced down and read the note again, shuddering at the last words. Whoever it was, they didn't seem to have any love for me, and that was something that could pose a huge problem.

* * *

The next day unfolded as Jarod had predicted. The guys pounced on me during breakfast wanting the numbers of all my friends, but I was too preoccupied to really express my excitement at their obvious interest. As happy as I was that the girls seemed to have some really great guys wanting to get to know them better, there was someone in this school who knew I was a girl, and could blurt my secret at any moment. The weather, however, seemed to mock my gloomy state. It had begun to snow the day after Mina and the girls left, and as much as I wanted to enjoy my favorite season, my fear kept me indoors, even as I watched the drifts grow higher and higher each day.

Throughout the rest of the week, I quickly started to become afraid of my own shadow. Loud noises startled me, whispered conversations caused me to whirl around in fear, and my nights were tormented by dreams of a dark menacing figure carrying a megaphone. Everyone had begun to notice the shadows forming under my eyes, and although Jarod was the first to show sympathy, it wasn't long before the other guys were beginning to express concern. I fielded their questions by explaining that I had a busy schedule and I wasn't sleeping well, but I could see most of them were unconvinced.

Despite all of this, however, my feelings for Darien were only increasing. True to my word, I had given him my cell phone number, and every night for the next two weeks, we talked into the wee hours of the morning. It was wonderful that he was getting to know me as a girl, but as beautiful as these conversations were, they were only increasing my fears. The harder I fell for Darien, the more I dreaded discovery. I was always afraid there was someone outside my door, listening to my laugh, my words, and my feelings for a boy who was just down the hall. Although Jarod assured me this wasn't true, I stayed away from Darien and the others, made up any excuse to lock myself in my room, and made up for the distance in the hours I spent with him on the phone. Unfortunately, my efforts to lay low only attracted more attention, especially from my concerned friends.

That Friday, Darien finally managed to stop me in the hallway. I had just gotten out of my last class, and all I wanted to do was collapse into bed.

"Ren, can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked anxiously, gently blocking my way.  
"What's up?" I murmured tiredly, struggling not to yawn.

"What's going on with you? You're so jumpy, and you're always exhausted! Is everything okay?" His blue eyes gazed worriedly into my own, and I looked away.

"I'm fine. I already told you--it's just school and stuff," I replied.

"I know," he assured me, "but I feel like it's something else. You act like you're scared or something… I mean, the other day I tapped your shoulder to ask you for a pencil and you jumped about three feet!" He chuckled good-naturedly, but I could tell he was really worried. "What's bothering you?" He persisted.

"Nothing," I assured him.

"I don't believe you," he said quietly.

"Why not?" I retorted, slightly miffed. "Why can't you accept that I've been having a rough week and I'm overtired?"

"Don't get pissed, I'm just saying it seems to be more than that!" Darien countered.

"Well it's not!" I insisted, my voice rising. "Why does everyone keep treating me like I'm made of glass? I'm not a baby Darien, I'm a big girl, and I can take care of myself!"

"What?" Darien exclaimed, and my eyes widened as I realized my mistake.

"A big _boy_," I corrected, shaking my head. "I'm sorry," I murmured with a sigh, my voice level finally falling. "I'm a little tired."

Darien sighed and nodded. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have gotten so pushy about it. I'm just worried about you, that's all."

I glanced up at him and smiled wanly, but looked away quickly and readjusted my backpack. "I'm going to hit the hay, all right?" I asked.

"All right. Sleep well, and try to relax, okay man? It's only school," he murmured over his shoulder. I smiled and nodded, before turning around and heading towards my dorm room.

As weird as it sounds, Darien words had a strangely calming effect on me. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was asleep. This time, the nightmares didn't come, and even though I fell asleep in the afternoon, I didn't reawaken until the next morning.

* * *

"Wake up, Serena!" A voice suddenly penetrated my dreamless slumber and I opened my eyes, startled. "It's time to get up!" To my surprise, the form in front of me slowly focused into a very excited-looking Jarod.

"What's going on?" I asked blearily, sitting up and rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand.

"What do you mean, 'what's going on?'" Jarod exclaimed excitedly. "This is only the greatest day of the whole year!"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, slightly annoyed.

Jarod rolled his eyes and released an exasperated sigh. "It's October 31st… Halloween… Hello?"

"What?" I repeated, not quite comprehending his words.

"Wow… You must have been really out of it this week!" Jarod murmured, shaking his head. "It's Halloween… You know? Candy, costumes, horror movies at all hours of the night?" He asked hopefully.

"It is not!" I protested. "It's October…" I glanced over at the mini-calendar next to my bed, and paled instantly. "It's Halloween," I muttered dumbly.

There was a long silence, and after a moment, I started to laugh. "I really have been out of it, haven't I?"

"That's an understatement," Jarod informed me, and I shot him a death glare that only caused him to chuckle. "I take it you don't have a costume then?"

"You would be correct," I said, throwing my legs over the side of my bed. I ran a hand through my short hair and rose to my feet. "What time is it?"

"Almost noon," he answered quickly. "If you want to take a shower, I'll watch the door for you," he offered, and I smiled.

"That would be great," I answered, walking over to my bureau. I began to rifle through my drawers, finally deciding on a pair of jeans and a large hooded sweatshirt. "So what's the plan for tonight?" I asked over my shoulder, as I casually threw my chosen garments onto my bed.

"Well, there's a dance tonight, and then we usually go down to the bonfire, someone manages to score a little booze, and we hang out and hope the teachers don't come down and bust us," he replied.

"Wonderful," I muttered sarcastically. "Sounds like something I wouldn't mind missing."

"Hey!" Jarod exclaimed defensively. "It's a lot of fun! Last year Nathan and I got really wasted and went streaking in the snow!" He began cracking up, but sobered at my sardonic expression. "I guess you had to be there…"

I sighed and shook my head as I reached down to grab my clothes and shower kit. "Sometimes I wonder just how Raye managed to fall for you…"

"Ouch!" He said with a wince, and I laughed.

"You going to watch the door for me or not?" I wondered, and he smiled as he got to his feet.

"Yeah," he replied. "Let's go."

* * *

"So what _are_ you going to be for Halloween?" He asked when I rose from the shower twenty minutes later, dressed and ready to go.

I laughed and shook my head. "You're serious about this?"

"Deadly!" He assured me. "You don't like Halloween?"

"I love Halloween! I just don't want to spend it with a bunch of drunk teens next to a bonfire. Halloween's about trick-or-treating, cute kids in adorable costumes, and me hanging out with my friends… Besides," I added quietly, "I really should lay low for a while."

"'Rena," Jarod began, "you've got to stop this. I love you, you know I do, but you need to relax for one night. You've been a nervous wreck since we got that letter--"

"Wouldn't you be?" I protested shrilly, but he cut me off.

"You've been a nervous wreck since you got that letter, and you need to chill. Has anyone come forward yet?" He asked.

"No, but--"

"No," he finished. "No one has turned you in yet, and you also have had zero fun for two weeks now."

I sighed and shook my head, realizing he was right. "What do you want me to do?" I asked.

"Come hang out with us tonight. The guys miss you, some of them think you're mad at them because of the way you've been avoiding us. They got a lot to thank you for… Most of them are already planning dates with your friends!" He informed me with a sly wink.

"Yeah, I heard," I answered, smiling softly. "All right," I finally relented. "Just for tonight… you got any costume ideas?"

He grinned and stepped back, surveying my form with a sculptor's eye. "We could dress you up as a girl…"

"Jarod!"

"All right, all right!" He said with a laugh. "I'm sure I'll think of something!"

"Oh great," I muttered sarcastically. "I'm afraid already."

"Afraid of what?" A voice sounded from behind us, and I turned my head to see Darien coming out of his room.

"Jarod's trying to figure out a good Halloween costume for me," I answered, and grinned at Darien's raised eyebrow.

"What?" Jarod protested. "I'm great at choosing costumes!"

"Oh yeah, genius? What are _you_ going to be this year?" Darien countered.

Jarod suddenly blushed and looked around for a possible escape, and Darien's grin widened.

"Jarod?" he warned, and finally Jarod gave up.

"All right! Peter Pan." He half shouted, and paused as a deep silence ensued.

After a moment, however, Darien and I broke it as we proceed to laugh uproariously at a red-faced Jarod.

"Raye put you up to it, didn't she?" I sputtered in between bouts of laughter.

"NO!" he protested, but gave up when we shot him looks of obvious disbelief. "Okay, yes. She's going to be my Tinker Bell…" He explained.

Once again, a pregnant pause ensued, but it wasn't long before we were laughing again. Jarod turned and started to walk away, but I reached out and patted his shoulder affectionately, pulling him back.

"Aw, Jarod, that's so cute… I'm sure you'll make an awesome Peter Pan. You want me to check your tights for holes though, just in case?" I joked, and Darien started to laugh again.

"Screw you guys!" Jarod shouted, pulling away from me, but he was starting to smile now. "I'm going to be the best Peter Pan ever!" he declared loudly.

"Dude," a voice from behind us suddenly cut in, and we turned to see Nathan, Malcolm, and a few other guys standing in the middle of the hall. "You're going to be Peter Pan?"

It was at least two hours before Jarod could hold his head high again.

* * *

For all of our teasing though, Jarod actually looked pretty good in his costume. His muscular build filled the tunic out quite nicely, and even though the tights were slightly constrictive and the shoes a bit dorky, he managed to pull it off with his boyish grin and comedic personality. By the time eight o'clock rolled around, he was dressed and ready to go, but I was still sans costume.

"We've got to find you something!" Jarod insisted, and I shook my head.

"It's no big deal," I assured him. "Not everyone is going to have a costume!"

Jarod gave me a look that immediately told me I was wrong, and I raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"This is a big deal at Madison," he explained. "What can I say? We have fun around the holidays--and it's a chance for all the girls to show off what designer ball gown they got tailored to make them look like Cinderella."

I shrugged, realizing this made sense, and leaned back on my bed, crossing one foot over the other. "So give me a tux then! I'll be Prince Charming!" I joked, but to my surprise, Jarod's face lit up.

"That it!" he cried, and dove for my closet, coming up with a neatly pressed tux Mina had insisted I buy, wrapped up in a dry-cleaners bag. "Wear this!" he commanded, tossing it onto my bed.

I lifted it up and inspected it. "You're serious?" I murmured, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes!" He nearly shouted. "I even have a mask you could wear. It would be perfect! Just be sure to wrap up tight…"

I shot him a disapproving look but he laughed it off. "All right," I finally relented. "Get out of here and let me change."

* * *

_Love it? Hate it? Review please!_


	23. Chapter 23

_Here's Chapter 23! Sorry for the cliffie!_

_Little side note: every one of the costumes listed in this story was worn by one of my friends this past Halloween... I must say, I hang out with some pretty creative people! Just had to give credit where credit was due:)_

* * *

Fifteen minutes later I walked out of the room putting the finishing touches on my tie. As Jarod rounded the corner, tugging vainly at his green tunic, he glanced up and whistled appreciatively.

"I'm going to have to beat the girls off of you with a stick," he commented, reaching up and tweaking my tie slightly to the left.

"Shut-up," I muttered, rolling my eyes.

"No! Seriously," he went on, "you may be a little short, but I don't think that's going to stop anyone." He paused, and stepped back, smiling a little. "It's missing something," he murmured, and reached deftly into his pocket, pulling out a small white mask that looked oddly familiar to me. He reached out and placed it gently over my eyes, then stepped back to admire his handiwork. "Not bad, and quite fitting for the occasion."

I blinked, and struggled to get used to seeing the world through these new eyes, but oddly enough it wasn't as difficult as I expected. I was just getting used to it, when Darien, Mal, Nate, and Zack stepped into view.

Nathan, in typical joker fashion, was wearing a wig cut into a terrible mullet over his brown hair, had painted a five o'clock shadow onto his chiseled jaw, and was wearing a worn jean-jacket with the arms torn off and horribly dirty jeans. To complete his white-trash ensemble, he had ruined a pair of Doc Marten's with paint and dirt, and stuck what looked to be fake beer cans into his belt. I guffawed as he grinned at me.

"Nice touch," I muttered, pointing towards the six-pack of Bud Lights. He laughed and shrugged his shoulders.

"Novelty store. Couldn't resist… it truly does pull the look together," he said pointedly, and I heartily agreed. "Nice costume, Prince Charming," He retorted with a grin, and I laughed.

Zach had opted for the bloody doctor costume, which definitely did not meet his gentle eyes and smile, but he did look good in the scrubs and lab coat. Mal was, like me, wearing a tuxedo, but he had a long black cape draped over his shoulders, and around his neck hung a small stuffed white tiger.

"What are you supposed to be?" I asked, furrowing an eyebrow.

"Siegfried…" he replied with a grin. "Or Roy… I can't remember which!"

It took a moment for me to get it, but when I did, I began to laugh hysterically. Only one of these guys could turn a tiger attack into a Halloween costume and make it funny!

I turned my eyes to Darien, and inhaled sharply as I took in his costume. He was the Phantom of the Opera, complete with tuxedo, cape, and the mask that covered half of his face. His blue eyes burned into mine, but quickly turned genial as he smiled and swooped in, billowing his cape dramatically.

"Ready to go?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows at us. We all nodded and started to follow him towards the gym, when Nathan suddenly stopped.

"Are we really going to go to the dance?" he asked.

"Why not?" Darien countered. "We always do!"

"What's the point? I'm not going to dance! Why don't we head down and get the bonfire started?" He asked.

"Well, I have to go," Jarod put in, although he looked pretty reluctant. "Raye will kill me if I don't, but I could meet you guys down there."

"It's not a bad idea," Mal murmured, and Darien nodded thoughtfully. "All right, sounds good," he decided. "You want to come with us Ren?" he asked.

In truth, for the first time in my life, I didn't really feel like dancing, and getting a bonfire together instead of going to a rowdy school dance did seem like a better way of keeping a low profile.

"Yeah," I answered.

"Cool," Nathan agreed. "You go grab some blankets," he ordered, "and I'll go grab some grub!"

As I headed off toward the linen closet at the end of the hall, I glanced back and waved to Jarod, who returned the gesture, and then reluctantly headed off in the direction of the gym to meet Raye--who I was sure was looking lovely as Tinkerbell. Ten minutes later, we all were clumping down the mahogany stairs, Nathan and Zach carrying various roasting materials, and Darien, Mal, and I each carrying a large stack of wool blankets.

We were silent as we headed down towards the lake. It was bitterly cold outside as we tromped through the snow, and when I raised my eyes, I could see much of the sky was swaddled in a deep gray-black color. I was beginning to wonder why I wasn't wearing boots and the heavy winter coat stored safely in my closet. I shivered slightly, and realized the bonfire was definitely going to be a good idea.

Once there, we set out to start collecting wood for the fire. It was a little strange tromping around in the forest again, every twig breaking terrified me, but it wasn't long before I held an ample amount of dry wood in my arms. After depositing it in the pit, Mal set to lighting it while the rest of us each grabbed a blanket and huddled beneath it. Before long, the fire began to crack cheerily, and we all leaned forward into its warmth.

"So, now what?" Darien asked, rubbing his hands together and turning them towards the growing blaze.

"We wait," Zach answered simply, puffing out a large breath that rose like a small cloud into the frigid night. Darien rolled his eyes.

"Boring!" he complained. "Look at all this snow!" He exclaimed, gesturing at the white mass surrounding us. "We've got a couple of hours, let's tear it up! We could go for a hike or something."

Mal rolled his eyes, but I grinned. "That could be fun," I agreed.

"It's freezing!" Zach pointed out. "I'm staying here."

"Way to be a bummer!" Darien accused, but Zach only chuckled and leaned towards the warmth the fire was emanating in gentle waves. "You coming Nate? Mal?"

"Sure," Nathan replied with a shrug. "I'm game."

"I think I'll stick here with Zach," Malcolm answered with a slight yawn. "Someone's got to keep the fire going, and if I leave Zach, the wild animals might get him," he added with a snicker.

Zach tossed a heavy folded blanket at him and was rewarded by a surprised cry from Mal. "Go ahead," he assured us with a small wave. "We'll be fine."

We nodded and rose to our feet. After casting one last look backward at the two boys, I followed Darien's lead, and began to head down the path that winded through the woods.

"Bring us some more firewood while you're at it!" Mal shouted from behind us, and Darien chuckled ahead of me in response.

The woods were sort of creepy in the dark, but they were undeniably beautiful. The boys were silent in front of me, giving me a chance to look around. Everything around me was covered with snow that looked almost blue in color thanks to the surrounding shadows, and just beyond Darien's shoulder I could see the entire path completely void of any footprints. I shivered, realizing we were probably the first people to intrude upon the forest since the first snow. It was sort of exciting.

"Are we really going to look for firewood?" Nathan asked.

"Mal can shove it," Darien said genially. "This is purely a pleasure cruise," he informed us, and from the tone of his voice, I could tell he was smiling.

"This pleasure cruise is causing my fingers to go numb," Nathan replied, and Darien laughed.

"Aw Nathan," I cooed with mock sympathy. "Are your wittle fingers cold? You can borrow my mittens if you want…"

He laughed and shook his head. "Shut up."

"It's really nice in here, isn't it?" Darien suddenly said, and Nathan and I looked around.

"Yeah," Nathan replied. "Kind of quiet though."

"I like it," I said softly, and Darien turned to look at me, a soft smile pulling at his full lips.

We were silent for a minute, but the short moment was broken when something cold and icy suddenly exploded in my face. I released a strangled cry and staggered backward, struggling to shake the icy substance away, as well as the harsh sting that followed. Once my vision was clear, Nathan came into focus, looking sheepish, but grinning slyly. I turned to look at Darien and noticed he too was trying to free packed snow from his eye sockets.

"Oh, you're done! You're done!" I assured him, and with that, began scrambling to collect the freezing snow around me.

Nathan began to run away, but I was already up on my feet, pelting him with my hastily made snowballs. Now, winter is my favorite season, so consequently my aim is absolutely infallible. My first hit him squarely in the back of the head, knocking his mullet wig to the ground. My second hit the back of his now-exposed neck, and his surprised scream assured me snow was now sliding slowly down the back of his jacket and soaking his stupid cut-off jean jacket. My third and final snowball hit his left butt-cheek and I laughed as he let out a surprised yelp.

It wasn't over though. Right behind me was Darien, who had taken the extra free time to make much better snowballs. Just as my last snowball connected, he began firing his own, and much to Nathan's dismay, his aim was as good as my own. Before Nathan knew it, he had snow in his hair, ear, eye, and all over his front. Darien and I were laughing hysterically as he trudged back towards the fire muttering terrible things under his breath.

"Aw Nate!" Darien shouted between his laughter. "No more? But we were having so much fun!"

He shot us a not-so-nice gesture in response, but we only laughed harder, leaning against one another for support.

"That was awesome!" I finally managed weakly, standing up straight.

"It was," he agreed. "Nice hits, by the way," he added, favoring me with a admiring grin. "Lot of practice?"

"You know it!" I replied. "You weren't so bad yourself though," I said, crouching towards the ground.

Darien turned his back, and with a sly grin, I reached for a handful of snow, packing it together silently with my cold fingers. "Eh," he said dismissively. "We make a good team."

I laughed wickedly and rose to my feet. "That won't save you though," I muttered.

"What?" he asked, and just as he turned, I let him have it.

My snowball exploded right in his face and I laughed as he cried out in surprise. He stood there for a moment, completely silent as he began to scrape snow from the middle of his face.

"Oh it's on," he said dangerously. "It's on like Donkey Kong!"

I screamed as he lunged for me, but I managed to dodge his grasp and took off running deeper into the woods. I could hear Darien pounding behind me, shouting threats at my retreating back, but I only laughed in response and put on more speed. To my surprise, however, he was closing in on me, and just as I broke into a large clearing, his efforts paid off.

I shouted as Darien tackled me face-first into the snow-covered earth. My face burned with the cold, but I laughed as I struggled vainly against his powerful arms, barely managing to twist myself into an upward-facing position. All I got for my efforts, however, was snow in my eyes as Darien continued to whitewash me.

"Do you give?" he shouted through his laughter, trying to throw another handful of snow onto my face and neck. I could feel the half melted snow already oozing into the thick material of my tux.

"Hell no!" I gasped in between giggles, failing to fend him off.

"Have it your way!" he laughed in response, and proceeded to dump more snow onto my upturned features, which I promptly protested against.

"Ow! That's freezing!" I shouted through chattering teeth.

"That's was you get for knocking me in the head with a snowball!" he retorted, but he finally relented, and pulled me into a sitting position.

I beamed at him, even though it hurt my face a little to do it, and at that moment, snow began to fall around us. I raised my head to stare at the pure white flakes descending through the dark night, and sighed wistfully in spite of myself. It was beautiful, and as I dropped my gaze back to Darien, my heard proceeded to skip a beat. He was kneeling before me, gazing up at the sky as the softly falling snow peppered his hair. His cape billowed around him in the gently blowing wind, and his smile lit up his blue eyes as he slowly reached up to catch the falling white pieces around him. In that moment he suddenly appeared to be some fairy-tale prince from a dream I had long ago, and in my mind's eye I could see him dancing with me in the snow, our footprints disappearing as we twirled through the blinding whiteness. My breath caught as he suddenly met my gaze with his smoldering blue eyes, and then I did something _incredibly_ stupid.

Perhaps it was the beauty of this moment, or perhaps it was because Darien had suddenly become the perfect representation of one of my childhood fantasies… Maybe it was simply because the emotions that I had tried so hard to hide everyday since I reached Madison, couldn't remain locked within me any longer… Whatever it was, it was strong enough for me to throw caution to wind. Before I could stop myself, I leaned forward and pressed my cool lips to his warm ones.

The kiss was soft and chaste, but sweet, and although I knew it was wrong, I couldn't pull myself away from him. Darien's sharp intake of breath only added to my alarm, but to my surprise, he suddenly responded, leaning into me, and kissing me back for one furious moment. Suddenly, I wondered if he already knew who I was--that he had known all along, and was simply waiting for me to make the first move. Maybe, just _maybe_, everything was okay.

My hopes, however, were quickly extinguished as I was suddenly tossed roughly away. I pulled myself up, startled and trembling, only to see a look of horror filling Darien's face.

"I've gotta go," he whispered, backing away from me.

"Darien," I protested, rising to my feet, but he backed away quickly. "Please--"

"It's okay," he interrupted, raising his hands as if to protect himself from me. I felt tears fill my eyes at the strange sound of his voice.

"Wait," I pleaded, but he shook his head.

"I won't tell anyone," he assured me. "Just… just stay back."

"Please," I pleaded. "I-It's not what you--"

"I said it's all right!" He finally shouted, and I recoiled from him. "I have to go," he whispered, and before I could stop him, he was running back towards the path as if a thousand people were chasing after him.

I sat there in the snow for a long time, trembling as tears coursed down my cheeks in unstoppable salty twin rivers. After a while, however, the tears finally stopped, and I managed to rise to my feet, and enter the path again, this time on my own.

* * *

_Uh oh... trouble is on the way!_

_Love it? Hate it? Review please:)_


	24. Chapter 24

_Hey everyone, I'm so so sorry about the length between updates, but my life has been incredibly hectic due to a tragedy that occurred on September 22... My best friend's younger brother, whom I've known since he was eight years old, lost his battle with his brain tumor early that morning. Since he passed, I've been very busy being a support system for not only my best friend, but also her family, who have become a second home to me. Unfortunately, I have had neither the time, nor the desire to write for the past three weeks--hence the long break. However, I am now back and very happy to see how many people have continued to follow the story, as well as beg for updates! ;P Thank you so much for all of your support, and enjoy the next two chapters!_

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The walk back was cold and lonely. By the time I reached the fire again, many people were beginning to file next to it, eager to warm themselves after the cold walk from the gym. I didn't see Darien anywhere, and for a moment I wondered if he had gone back up to the dorms, but then I heard a burst of laughter and turned to see him drinking from a bottle of liquor with a group of boys. His blue eyes met my gaze for only an instant before darting hastily away. After I heard another bout of forced laughter leave his lips, I decided I'd had enough.

As I turned to walk away, however, my path was blocked by an unexpected figure. Lucas Diamond was standing in front of me, wearing what appeared to be his normal clothes, clutching a beer in hand. I could tell by his unsteady stance and bleary eyes that he was drunk, and as he swayed towards me, I recoiled instinctively.

"Ren!" He shouted, throwing a heavy arm around my shoulders. "I have to talk to you," he murmured, his words slurring terribly. I cringed and tried to pull away, but his grip was too strong.

"What do you want?" I asked, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Darien rise to his feet, his eyes worried.

"I need to ask you about a girl," he said quietly. "I need to ask you about your cousin, the pretty one I met the other night."

I shuddered and tried to pull away. "You're drunk, get off me!"

"Don't get all testy!" he said defensively, finally pulling away. "I just wanted to know a little more about her… Is she single? Or is there someone special in her life?"

The tone of his voice suddenly struck me, and I leveled him with a hard look. Although he was obviously drunk, there was something in his eyes, like he was laughing at some private joke. I turned to see Darien sitting down again, as if satisfied that Diamond wasn't man-handling me anymore, and I frowned as he once again reached for the bottle. This night was too weird, and I wasn't going to watch him get drunk, or put up with Diamond's sick games. I shook my head and pushed past my arch enemy with surprising ease, and I suddenly wondered if he had been really wondering about "Serena" at all. It didn't matter, I just wanted to go home.

Miserable and suddenly exhausted, I turned to leave and suddenly bumped into Raye and Jarod, looking positively adorable in their matching costumes.

"Hey! There you are! What a great costume!" Raye cried cheerfully, stepping back to admire my form, but suddenly frowned at my dismal features. "What's wrong?" she asked.  
"Nothing," I murmured. "I can't talk about it now. I'll see you later okay?" I brushed past her and started up the hill.

"Wait!" she called from behind me, and I could hear her small feet crunching behind me in the snow as she headed after me. "What happened?" she asked, when she finally reached my side. Tears pricked at the back of my eyelids, and I bit my lower lip to keep them from falling.

"Nothing," I choked out. "I'm just… I'm just stupid! I did something really stupid," I managed, struggling to hold back the sobs that wanted desperately to come out. I shook my head. "I can't talk about it now," I told her. "Later, okay?"

She stared at me for a long time, but finally nodded. "Okay," she answered reluctantly.

I gave her a quick hug, and then headed up to the dorm room without another look back.

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The next two weeks were probably the hardest of my life. Darien refused to talk to me, and any attempts for me to try to explain myself were always thwarted by his claims of places to be and things to do. To make matters worse, he had stopped calling Serena as well, and as much as I wanted to find out why, all my calls went unanswered. It appeared my kiss had managed not only to lose Darien as my best friend, but as my potential boyfriend as well. After a week of the cold shoulder, I finally gave up trying to make peace. All the guys were confused at the complete lack of contact between Darien and I, save Jarod of course. Although he had been horrified by what I'd done, he at least felt sympathy and had even offered to try to patch up the rift between Darien and I. Of course I had adamantly refused. This was my mess, and I had to clean it up.

However, as the third week of November began, Darien was still as distant as ever. I was starting to wonder if we were ever going to talk to each other again.

"Maybe it's time for you to tell him the truth…"

I looked up at Jarod with surprise, but shook my head. "How could I possibly do that now? He won't even look at me," I said dully, throwing another sweater into my suitcase.

Thanksgiving was only a few days away and all of Madison was in disarray as people were scrambling to study for midterms and pack for the week they would spend at home. My last finals were tomorrow, and I was looking forward to going home, but part of me knew I was going to miss Madison's expansive grounds and wonderful inhabitants. Given recent events, however, I wasn't sure if it was worth it for me to come back to Madison, and this thought was probably the most depressing I'd had in a long time.

"Well, I could try and fix that," Jarod said helpfully, but frowned at my uninterested expression. "Are you just going to let it end like that? You told me yourself you're not sure you're going to come back! If you ask me, now would be the perfect time to tell him the truth!" He insisted, and I could tell from his voice that he was slightly frustrated.

"And then what?" I fired back, immediately bristling. "What would that solve exactly? Leaving without telling him would probably make him hate me less… Hell," I began, my voice lowering a little, "he'd probably be grateful." I sighed miserably, and closed my eyes. "No, it would probably be easier if I just disappeared."

"So that's it?" Jarod protested, pacing around me. "We went through all the other stuff just to end up here?"

"Is that so hard to accept?" I retorted angrily, but my heart wasn't truly in the argument, and I finally shrugged in defeat. "I'm tired of pretending," I said quietly, and he stopped walking to look at me. "I can't do it anymore. I don't want to be a boy; I just want to be Serena."

Jarod surveyed me with a sympathetic eye, and to my surprise, pulled me into a hug that I returned gratefully. "Just try and talk to him before you go, okay?" he pleaded softly in my ear. I closed my eyes tightly and nodded.

"I'll try." I promised.

My finals went surprisingly well. Although I had been losing quite a bit of sleep due to my worrying over Darien, the amount of time spent studying instead of hanging out paid off. History was the last final of the day for me, and I was a bit surprised by Ms. Haruna's warm response as I turned in my test.

"It's been a pleasure having you this semester Ren," she said quietly, favoring me with a small smile. "I wanted to wish you luck."

I cocked an eyebrow. "It's only midterms, Ms. Haruna," I said quietly.

She nodded, but I couldn't help but notice when I walked through the door, she was still wearing that same small, knowing smile. Shaking it off, however, I headed up to my dorm room to set out my tux and finish packing. I had nearly forgotten about tonight's cotillion. Apparently they had it every year to celebrate the end of midterms and the beginning of the winter holidays. Jarod, ever sarcastic, claimed it was just another night for the girls to dress up. I was just happy that I'd get a chance to hang out with him and Raye before I had to leave tomorrow, but a small part of me was hoping I could get Darien alone too. We had a lot to talk about, and I had a lot of apologizing to do. Tonight I was planning to come clean with everything.

A small knock on the door broke me from my thoughts, and I looked up to see Raye slipping through the door with a sheepish grin gracing her pretty face.

"Sorry!" she said quietly, closing the door behind her. "I just wanted to come visit you before tonight." She paused for a moment, as if unsure of what to say next, but finally looked up. "Jarod told me you weren't planning to come back next semester," she stated, and I nodded in response.

"This charade has gone on long enough," I answered bravely, but inside my heart was pounding. "I can't do this to myself anymore, and I certainly can't do it to your brother."

"Are you going to tell him then?" she asked hopefully.

"Tonight," I responded softly, zipping up my duffle bag and laying out my hooded sweatshirt bearing the Madison logo. "If he'll let me."

"Are you scared?"

The question stunned me in its simplicity, and for a moment, I couldn't answer. My fingers were frozen to the thick fabric of my sweatshirt, and my tongue was inexplicably glued to the roof of my mouth. The only thing that seemed to move in that space of time was my heart, pounding away inside my chest like a snare drum.

"Terrified," I answered finally, and straightened myself. "But what can I do?" I went on, sitting down on top of my bed so I was facing her. "I owe your brother the truth, if nothing else, and tonight is my last chance to give it to him. The fact that I'm scared doesn't matter…" I sighed, and looked away.

"I've gone through a lot Raye," I whispered. "I watched my mother waste away in a hospital bed, and stood in the room while she struggled for her last breaths. I braved my father's alcoholic misery during the years following her death, and I think I felt stronger in those moments than I do now."

The silence that filled the room after I spoke those words was so thick, I actually jumped when Raye finally spoke again, her voice choked with emotion.

"I think risking your heart is the most frightening thing to do," she said. "Grief can fade over time, but a broken heart is never truly whole again."

I looked up to see her eyes brimming with tears, and felt emotions surge within my own throat as I nodded. Without another word, I reached for her, and she fell into my arms. It felt so good to have a friend. I had met so many wonderful people in my few months at this school… Would I really have to give them up now? When they suddenly mattered so much to me?

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By the time eight o'clock rolled around, I was dressed and ready to go, but the butterflies that filled my stomach certainly weren't taking a break. I was constantly fidgeting with my tie, and finally Jarod resorted to slapping my hand every time I attempted to fix myself. Needless to say, it worked, and when we entered the hallway to meet the rest of the gang, I finally managed to get a hold of myself. The boys were looking as handsome as ever, but to my surprise, Darien was not among them.

"Where's Darien?" Jarod asked, noticing my fretful expression. "Is he coming?"

Mal shook his head, and ran a tanned hand through his white-blond hair. "I don't know. I didn't get a chance to talk to him this afternoon." He shrugged. "I wouldn't worry about it, he's probably just running a little late."

"Should we wait for him?" I spoke up, a bit tentatively.

"Naw," Mal replied, favoring me with a small smile. "He can catch up."

And with that, we all headed down to the gym which had been decorated festively in whites, reds, and greens for the holidays. Jarod quickly found Raye in the crowd, looking stunning in a short, red, silk halter dress, and after the initial hugs and hellos, we made our way over to the refreshment table. Determined to pass the time in the least nervous manner possible, I socialized with the gang for a while, said some mental goodbyes to favorite teachers and friends, and drank an alarming amount of apple cider. Despite these many distractions, however, I was mostly on the lookout for Darien. I was disappointed though, when an hour passed by and he was still a no-show. I was beginning to worry that he wasn't going to come down at all.

These worries to unfounded, however, because just as my hopes of coming clean with him were dying, a couple stumbled through the door laughing uproariously. All heads turned to stare at the two disheveled individuals, some even favoring them with a look of obvious disdain, and I felt my mouth drop open. There was a very unkempt Darien, tux rumpled, hair tousled, and lips appearing almost bruised, half-carrying a giggling, scantily-clad, and obviously intoxicated Beryl. I suddenly felt Raye's tight grip on my arm and was thankful for it. I think the shock of this appalling sight might have caused me to faint right there. Instead, I had to be content with the tears that filled my eyes as I watched him struggle into a dignified position, yanking Beryl along with him. For a brief moment, his blue eyes caught mine, and to my surprise, they suddenly appeared to fill with remorse, and even embarrassment. A second later, however, these emotions were gone, and he was once again making his way over, looking almost arrogant.

"Starting the party a little early, aren't you Darien?" Jarod asked coldly, once Darien was within earshot.

"These things are always boring! I just thought I'd liven things up before I got here!" He protested dismissively, his words slurring slightly.

"Or really?" Raye fired back, raising a finely arched eyebrow. "So making an ass of yourself was intentional?" She glanced at Beryl and frowned with obvious disgust. "I guess you judgment matches your taste in trash."

Beryl glared daggers at Raye, but I could only struggle not to puke as Darien reached an arm about her waist, as if to protect her. I managed finally to tear my eyes from the horrifying image they made, and turned to place a gentle hand on Raye's arm.  
"This was a mistake," I murmured quietly. "I'm leaving."

"Serena! Wait!" She whispered furiously, but I ignored her pleading looks and pushed past Darien and Beryl, causing a surprised exclamation from the tawdry tart.

This was utterly ridiculous! Here I was, trying to come clean with him--apologize for lying to him for almost four months--and he was all over that cruel, stupid, slut! Had he cared about me at all? Or Serena for that matter? I mean, I knew Beryl was probably just some cheap show of masculinity to prove to me and everyone else that he was straight as an arrow, but couldn't he have picked someone else to make a fool out of me? Why couldn't he have just called Serena twenty million times?

Furious, and unbelievably emotional, I struggled to see through my blinding tears as I stomped up the snow-covered walkway that led back to the dormitories. Darien could keep his loose woman, and I could keep the truth to myself. Tomorrow I would go home, I'd be with Mina and all the girls, and I would forget all about Darien Shields. Screw him, screw Madison, and damn the love I felt for him the moment I saw him!

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	25. Chapter 25

_Here's chapter 25! Enjoy!_

_PS: A quick warning to my younger readers... This chapter contains some strong language, sexual references, and minor violence... Although I consider it pretty mild, I wanted to drop the warning just in case!_

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My anger and frustration had failed to dissipate even by the time I reached my dorm room. I stormed about the small space, ransacking what was left in my drawers, and hastily throwing the items in my closet onto my bed. I was just about to yank my last suitcase from the back of my closet, when my foot suddenly came down on something small with a loud crunch. Curious, I looked down, and to my horror, I suddenly noticed my precious rose had fallen out of my top drawer during my attempt to rapidly pack my suitcase… My entire body went cold as I realized I had crushed it. Tears filled my eyes as I knelt down and tried to pick up the broken pieces of every perfect petal. I sat down heavily as I realized it was useless, and reached down to tuck my knees under my chin as sobs wracked my body. I cried for the rose, I cried for Raye and Jarod and everyone back home who was hoping for me, but mostly I cried for Darien. He would never know the truth about his best friend at Madison, and he would probably never see Serena again.

It seemed hours had passed before my tears finally ceased, and once I lifted myself to my feet I felt completely exhausted. However, the war zone that was once my room still needed to be cleaned up, and it took nearly an hour to do the job. I packed the rest of my clothes, swept up the shattered rose, and even set my luggage in the corner for tomorrow. Most people weren't leaving for a couple of days, but there was no need for me to stick around for the parties and get-togethers. I was tired, and I wanted to go home.

In retrospect, I probably should have known that taking a shower without Jarod to stand guard probably wasn't such a good idea. At this time, however, I didn't really care. I was hot, tired, and I wanted to get clean and go to bed. Almost in a daze, I grabbed my shower kit, towel, and bathrobe and headed down the hall to the bathroom. Much to my relief, the entire dormitory was empty, and I knew most of the boys would be out quite late, and none of them would be home for at least another hour or so. I had plenty of time, but I undressed hurriedly anyway, approached the showers quickly, and turned on the faucet, letting the steaming liquid wash over my skin and hair.

The water felt wonderful against my exhausted form, and it seemed like the longer I remained under the steady, flowing stream, the more this evening and the past few months would feel like some strange dream. I could forget Darien's surprised and slightly repulsed features from Halloween night, I could forget our many nights spent on the rooftop under the moon, and I could definitely forget Beryl's scantily clad body wrapped around him.  
I was taking too long under the showerhead, but I didn't really care. It was therapy for me. This ordeal was almost over, and if I stayed under long enough, maybe the pain would go away. However, just as I switched off the water and began to press the remaining droplets away from my skin with my hands, I heard a door click shut behind me, and I froze. I couldn't believe it. I had forgotten to lock the door!

My heart was pounding fiercely in my chest as footsteps echoed softly off the linoleum floor. Oh God…my mind screamed. This is it! I reached frantically for the towel that hung next to me, and had just managed to wrap it around myself, when a figure rounded the corner of the last stall. Terrified and completely vulnerable, I looked up, and met the violet eyes of Lucas Diamond. This situation couldn't possibly get any worse.

He surveyed my trembling form with lustful eyes, and proceeded to crack a malicious, but knowing smile. Oh God! I though frantically. He knows!

"Careless, Ren… very careless," he chastised softly, clucking his tongue. "You've been hiding your secret for almost four months now, and it's me that manages to catch you with your pants down--or should I say… skirt?" He smiled again, and I shivered. "Would that be more correct, Serena?"

My name spoken from his mouth sent chills down my spine, but I didn't respond. He didn't seem to mind.

"Not that I didn't have my suspicions before," he assured me. "That night at the bonfire was a pretty big tip-off. You should really be careful when you insult someone… Sometimes it rings a bell!" He grinned wickedly.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I managed weakly.

"Oh don't play stupid, Serena. 'It's not my fault you're deaf as a post?'" He sneered. "Did you really think I wouldn't notice? And even if I didn't, I'm completely aware of your breasts through that towel. Oh yes, I know who you are, and I know what you are… The question is, can I keep it a secret?" He finished, and my eyes widened.

"You wrote the note," I whispered.

"Of course I wrote the note!" he exclaimed, and I flinched as he took a step closer, driving me closer to the wall. "I must admit," he went on, "I had quite a few laughs watching you look over your shoulder for that first week." He chuckled darkly, and I moved further away, but couldn't help but notice he was closing in on me. "What I don't know is why you're doing all of this, although your motivation is hardly important now. I guess I'm just curious how you're going to persuade me to keep my mouth shut…" His eyes took on a dangerous gleam, and I pulled my towel tighter as they wandered over my body.

"I don't get you," I murmured slowly.

"Payment, sweetheart. I'm not going to just look the other way on this. You're going to have to convince me to keep quiet. You never get something for nothing you know," he assured me, and I edged further away.

"No," I answered softly, and his expressions hardened.

"I'm not kidding Serena," he said darkly. "I'll go to the dean's office right now and tell him everything. You know it's a federal crime to impersonate someone? You could be arrested, the school would be publicly embarrassed, and everyone would know just who you really are…"

My heart quickened with fear, but I struggled to remain outwardly impassive. "What do you want?" I asked finally, standing straighter.

He smiled, obviously liking my new tone. "Just you," he answered, and my eyes widened.

"No," I murmured.

"What?" he asked.

"I said 'no!'" I repeated, my voice rising.

His eyes narrowed, and I took another step back, feeling the cold, wet tiles of the shower walls press against my shoulder blades. "I don't think you're in any state or position to argue with me," he growled, glancing at the now-seemingly flimsy towel covering my nude form.

"I don't give a shit what you think," I managed bravely, but inside I was trembling. "You stay the hell away from me! I'll scream, I swear it!"

His next move happened so quickly that it wasn't until my body slammed against the wall that I realized he had run at me. I struggled against him, but my efforts were rewarded only by a resounding slap to the face that immediately caused my eyes to water. I screamed involuntarily, and I heard him laugh over my ringing ears, his breath tickling my lips. I nearly gagged as the smell of alcohol invaded my nostrils.

"Go ahead and scream," he whispered, and I sobbed as he pinned my arms above me. "Everyone's down in the gym or partying by the lake. It's just you and me, Serena."

"Let me go," I begged. "Please."

He made no response, and instead moved down to press harsh kisses against my neck. I struggled against him, and finally managed to get a leg free. Before he knew it, my left knee made contact with his groin with a satisfying crunch. He let loose a groan and sank to the floor beside me. Still sobbing, I side-stepped him, and tried to fix the towel that was starting to come free. My world was turned upside-down, however, when Diamond reached out and grabbed my foot as I moved past him. Unfortunately, my balance was no match for the still-wet floor and my own momentum. I went down fast and hard, screaming as I did so, and nearly blacked out when my head cracked harshly against the blue tiles below.

Suddenly, Diamond was over me again, and he was absolutely furious. Terrified, and still dazed from my fall, I knew I wouldn't be able to fight him anymore. In one terrible moment, my towel was thrown open, and as I watched in disgust and fear as his eyes roved my exposed body hungrily, the door of the bathroom opened once again. I only had time to notice Diamond's surprised expression before a body collided into him, knocking him away from me. In seconds, someone was pulling me to my feet, and I sobbed with relief as I met Jarod's kind and worried blue eyes.

"Jarod," I whispered, and fell against him.

He caught me easily, and reached for my towel to cover me as I sobbed into his strong shoulder. Somewhere behind us, someone was pummeling Diamond to a pulp, and as Jarod lifted me once again to a standing position, I caught sight of Darien, who was roughly pulling a bruised and battered Diamond to his feet. His worried blue eyes scanned me quickly, pausing only at my breasts, and suddenly his mouth dropped open. For a few moments he stared at me openly, his expression fully conveying his disbelief, and I knew then that if he didn't have any idea I was a girl before, he certainly knew now.

However, I didn't have time to explain, because at that moment Mr. Wakefield burst in, followed closely by Mr. Bowman. I think if it would have simply been two roughed up boys in the bathroom, the two of them would have immediately sprung into action--but combined with a woozy, short-haired girl in a towel with a slightly bruised face, they could only remain frozen in the doorway.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Mr. Bowman finally managed, snapping out of it.

"Lucas attacked her," Jarod answered, nodding towards the two boys over by the wall. Darien was now yanking a dazed Diamond into a standing position, his face pale. "I think she's hurt. We need to get have her checked out."

It took a second for the information to settle, but finally Bowman nodded. "Find Susan Haruna, let her know what has happened and have her head down to the medical office," he ordered Mr. Wakefield, who nodded eagerly and left. "Mr. Shields--you, Mr. Bellmont, and Mr. Diamond will go to the dean's office and wait there for me."

The three boys nodded, and Jarod reluctantly let go of me, but not before giving my shoulders a comforting squeeze.

"It'll be all right, Serena," he promised quietly.

Tears suddenly filled my eyes as I realized he might get in trouble for all of this. It was obvious he knew who I was, and this fact probably would create quite a sticky situation for him. I glanced at Darien, who refused to look at me, and just as I was whisked out the door by Mr. Bowman, I saw both he and Jarod take hold of one of Diamond's arms. My attacker had apparently given up for the moment, and I shivered as Mr. Bowman led me silently to the medical office. The floor was cold beneath my bare feet and my towel was still damp, but the professor kept his eyes respectfully to the front. I tried to manage a "thank you," or some other sign of gratitude, but I think I was still in shock over the whole moment. It didn't seem to matter though--something told me he understood.  
Once we reached the office, I noticed Ms. Haruna standing in the doorway. She was still in her evening gown from earlier, and she looked very worried.

"Richard," she said quietly, and he shook his head.

"I can't stay," he told her. "I've sent the boys up to Darren's office to wait for him there, and once it is certain she's all right, I want her to follow. Her parents need to be called, and all of this needs to be sorted out."

Ms. Haruna nodded, and turned to me, her eyes softening considerably. "Come in," she ordered gently, and I obliged. I turned back, ready to thank Mr. Bowman, but he was already gone.

Ms. Haruna was silent as she passed through the med ward. She motioned for me to sit down on one of the cots, disappeared through a door, and when she returned she had a large robe, a white dressing gown, and blanket in her arms.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "We're out of socks."

"It's okay," I murmured, and the silence resumed once more as she reached forward to check the bump that had formed on the side of my skull. As her fingers brushed against it, I flinched, and she pulled away apologetically.

"Do you feel dizzy?" she asked, and I shook my head. She nodded approvingly, and stepped back a little. "Well, besides being a bit shaken up, how do you feel?"

"Sick," I whispered.

She nodded, and led me to the bathroom where I promptly rejected what was left of my dinner. She was quiet the whole time, but her cool hand was quite soothing against my hot forehead. When I was finished, I sat back and began to wipe the tears that had slipped from my eyelids.

"Why did you do it?" she asked.

I laughed bitterly. "It's a long story."

"Was it Darien? Or Jarod?"

I glanced up at her in surprise, and she chuckled. "Don't look so shocked," she chided. "I always knew there was something strange about you. The first day of my class I noticed it, and it didn't take me long to figure out what you were."

My mouth dropped open. "W-Why didn't you tell anyone?" I stammered.

She shrugged. "Curiosity. I wondered what drove a girl to risk everything to enter an all-boys school."

"Believe me," I muttered, "If I could have gone into the girls' school, I would have."

Haruna laughed for a moment, but then her face turned serious. "It was pretty brave of you, but pretty stupid too. You had to have known you'd get caught sooner or later. I'm just sorry it was Lucas Diamond that figured it out."

I started to cry again as I remembered all that had happened, and she put a comforting hand on my shoulder until my sobs had subsided. "What's going to happen to me?" I asked finally.

"Well, you and Lucas will be expelled, your father will be called, and Darien and Jarod will most likely be sworn to silence." She picked at her nails nervously, and sighed. "Madison won't want the embarrassment of appearing incompetent, so they'll want to settle everything as quietly as possible."

"I can't say I blame them," I murmured dully. "I just don't know how I'm going to face Darien."

"So it's Darien then?" she asked, and I nodded. She was silent as she thought this over, and finally stood up, sighing again. "Well, I can't say what he'll do, but he probably won't be happy with you."

"I'm sure that's the understatement of the century," I said sarcastically.

"I'm sure it is, but what can you do?" she asked, and I shrugged. "We better get going," she said suddenly, motioning for me to stand up. "The dean will want to see you, your father must be called, and this whole thing must be covered up. I'm really sorry dear," she said sincerely. "I hope it all works out."

I didn't reply. Somehow, I didn't think it would.

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	26. Chapter 26

_Hey all! Sorry it's taken me so long to update, but I've been dealing with a broken heart and I haven't had much desire to write about romance. However, I'm finally out of my funk, and hopefully I'll have some more for you all to read soon! Enjoy, and thank you all so much for sticking with me:)_

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My heart was pounding loud in my chest by the time we finally reached the dean's office fifteen minutes later. It skipped a beat, however, when I reached for the door handle and it turned before I could touch it. I managed to jump out of the way just as Darien exited the door, followed closely by Jarod, Lucas, and a tall older gentleman with dark hair that I failed to recognize. By the angry expression on his face and the disgusted glance he threw me, I quickly discerned that it was Diamond's father. Diamond refused to meet my eyes, and instead marched haughtily away without so much as a glance backward. I tore my eyes from him only to see Darien edge past too, his face pale and drawn. Jarod managed to pat my shoulder gently and offer me a sympathetic smile before Haruna nudged me into the dimly lit room. 

Dr. William Quincy Thomas, Madison's dean, sat at his desk, writing furiously into a series of large packets that lay in order before him. He was a short, plump man, with a rosy face that usually wore a very genial expression. His eyes were warm and brown, while his mouth was wide with a full set of gleaming, even teeth that flashed brilliantly with he smiled. Madison had done a wonderful job in appointing him. He could make anyone feel comfortable in an instant, and trusting his earnest face was second nature to most. A lot of this was a façade, however. Behind his warm exterior was a cool and calculating man. This was his school, and his responsibility. There was no way he was going to bear the brunt of bad publicity for one little girl, and this became very evident when he looked up and motioned me to take the empty seat in front of him.

"Please take a seat, Ms…?" He motioned for me to sit down, but quirked an eyebrow, obviously wanting me to finish.

"Johnson," I replied softly. "Serena Johnson."

He frowned. "I see. Not much of a change to your surname then?" He asked.

"I didn't think it was necessary," I answered, before I could stop myself. His frown deepened, and I shifted position uncomfortably in my seat.

"What about your parents?" He asked. "I have a number here for a Mr. Kenneth Johnson, but I'm assuming it's a fake."

"It's not," I interjected, and he raised his eyebrows with surprise. "I left all my personal information alone. The only thing that changed was my name and my sex."

He took in the information silently, and then sighed. He leaned back and raised his pudgy hands to his temples and began to rub slowly.

"I don't think I need to explain the severity of this situation to you, Serena," He said softly without looking up.  
"You've committed several acts of fraud, you've put yourself in incredible and unnecessary danger, and you've compromised the good name and reputation of this institution." He paused and allowed his words to sink in before raising his eyes. "I could phone the police this very moment to arrest you, and they would probably even be able to attach "indecent exposure" to your long list of debaucheries. What do you have to say for yourself, Ms. Johnson?"

Tears pricked at the back of my lids, but I blinked them back fiercely. "I have no defense," I answered bravely. "I made a terrible mistake, endangered myself and others, and all I want now is to go home."

"Oh, you'll definitely be going home," Dr. Thomas notified me brusquely. "As soon as you leave this room, I'll be phoning your father to inform him of your situation, and I'll request an immediate retrieval. You will not spend another night under Madison's roof, and I suggest you leave saying as little to anyone as possible."

"But--" I interjected, but he cut me off.

"I am well aware that Mr. Bellmont knows of your condition, so obviously I cannot forbid you from saying your goodbyes. However," his voice lowered dangerously, "no one else is to know of what happened here tonight save those that witnessed it. The boys have already signed a contract that swears them to secrecy. I'm going to ask you to sign it now."

"What?" I wasn't sure I had heard him right.

"Madison must protect itself. We are not responsible for your little stunt, and I will not allow the defamation that will ensue if your story gets out. In exchange for your silence, we will not press fraudulent charges. You'll go home, and we'll forget you ever arrived."

"Are you serious?" I asked incredulously. "What will happen to Lucas?"

He sighed, as if the question bored him. "He has been formally asked to leave. We will not be pressing charges, but in order to ensure that he doesn't talk, his expulsion will remain off the record."

"So that's it?" I cried, my voice starting to rise. "He nearly rapes me, and you're just going to let him get away with it?"

"If it means that the school's name remains clean, then, yes," Dr. Thomas replied quietly.

"I don't believe you!" I nearly shouted, and he winced.

"You forget, Ms. Johnson, that by all legal rights, I could have you both arrested. He isn't the only one getting off scott-free. You are too."

His words sunk in fast, and suddenly, all the fight went out of me. Ms. Haruna was right. They were going to cover it all up. I'd be sent home, Lucas would be transferred, and Darien and Jarod would never be allowed to talk about what had happened. The dean had managed to cover Madison's tail better than I could have ever imagined, and had even succeeded in making me believe I had brought this all on myself.

"Where do I sign?" I asked softly.

He reached for one of the packets on his desk and slid it towards me, pointing at the line with the tip of his pen. "Right here."

I did sign it, and felt incredibly cold afterwards. That was it. In a few hours, I'd be leaving Madison, and it appeared no one would be allowed to miss me.

* * *

The trek back to the dormitories went far quicker than I expected. By the time I reached my room, Jarod was already inside, waiting expectantly. To my surprise, however, Raye was with him, and as soon as I entered the door, her arms were wrapped tightly around my neck. 

"Are you all right?" she breathed, and I nodded against her shoulder as tears once again threatened to fall from my lids. "I wanted to go after you the moment you left, but the idiot over there insisted you might need some time alone."

"Hey!" Jarod protested defensively. "That's not fair!"

"What do you mean?" Raye fired back. "If you had gone after her like I told you, none of this would have happened!"

"Don't even pin this on me!" he retorted, standing up. "It's not my fault your brother started to go off right after she left! What was I supposed to do? Let him throw punches?" He laughed derisively and turned away. "Besides, it was _you_ who was pushing him over the edge!"

Raye looked ready to explode, but I stepped in. "Guys!" I nearly shouted, and instantly they fell silent. "Knock it off! It's nobody's fault but my own. I never should have come here in the first place." I turned towards Raye and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It's not his fault," I assured her, and she turned away, but not before I saw the tears in her eyes. I sighed wearily and attempted to smile at my rescuer. "Thank you for saving me. If you hadn't come up when you did, I don't know what Diamond might have done."

Jarod shook his head dismissively. "I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner, but Darien took a few swings at us after you left. By the time we dragged him outside and sobered him up a bit, Diamond must have already followed you. When Darien realized you had split, he wanted to find you and apologize. I didn't wait for any explanation, I just tagged along."

He sighed and ran a hand through his blond hair before continuing on. "By the time we reached the dorms, we realized you were in the shower. Darien wanted to go in to talk to you, but I obviously wouldn't let him. Just as he was starting to get pissed at me, we heard you scream. The rest you know," he finished.

I nodded dumbly and sat down on the edge of my bed. My head was throbbing and my eyes wanted desperately to close, but I knew the night wasn't over yet.

"Did he say anything?" I asked.

"No, not a word," Jarod informed me. "He told his story in the dean's office and then went back to his room. He's been there ever since."

"What are you going to do now?" Raye wondered.

"What can I do?" I muttered tiredly. "In a few hours my dad will come blazing up that driveway completely confused and unbelievably pissed off. He'll take me home, probably will scream at me the whole way, and everyone here will try and forget I ever existed."

"Are you going to try to talk to my brother?" Raye asked, her tone gentle.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "I'm not even sure how much time I have to get my things together, let alone try and explain myself to Darien." I laughed sardonically. "It'd probably take days."

A sharp rapping suddenly sounded from the door and the three of us jumped visibly. Immediately, Jarod and I motioned for Raye to hide, and after we had managed to stuff her into our closet as quietly as possible, we opened the door. Outside stood Mr. Wakefield, looking both exhausted and unhappy.

"The dean says you have one hour to gather your belongings. Afterwards you are to wait in main lobby until your father arrives. Don't be late," he warned.

I nodded in response, and after favoring Jarod and I with a stern gaze, he turned and headed back down the hallway. We closed the door behind him.

"One hour," he whispered softly.

"One hour," I repeated.

We actually managed to collect everything I owned in about fifteen minutes. Now that I could see all my things spread out neatly before me, I didn't want to leave. However, the sooner I did, the better it be for everyone I would leave behind. Still, there was one more thing I had to do before I left for good.

"I've got to take Raye back to her dormitory," Jarod suddenly spoke up from behind me. I turned and nodded, my heart warming as he offered me an apologetic smile.

Raye approached and enveloped me in another bone-crushing hug that I returned fiercely. "Call me," she whispered, and I nodded against her shoulder as tears fell from my lids. "I love you girl," she said softly, finally pulling away.

"I love you too," I replied, wiping my eyes and sniffling. I turned towards Jarod, who embraced me gently. "Thank you," I murmured. "For everything."

"Right back at you, kiddo," he retorted, and I smiled. "Call me when you get home."

"If I can," I promised.

I hugged both of them one more time before they left me alone with a smile and a wave. Once the door closed behind them, I took a moment to survey what had been my home for the last three months. It was then that I realized there was one more goodbye left, and although I doubted I had the strength to go through with it, now was the time.

And it was with these "happy" thoughts, that I finally headed off towards Darien's room.

* * *

With heavy feet I made my way to Darien's door. My heart was like a snare drum in my chest, and as I raised my fist to rap gently at the door, I winced every time my knuckles connected with the wood. A while passed, and no one answered, so I knocked again, trying to ignore the trembling that wanted desperately to overtake my limbs. A few minutes passed, and again no one answered. I was just about to walk away, when I heard his voice. 

"Who is it?"

I jumped, but swallowed hard. "It's me," I answered softly. "Can I come in?"

Silence greeted me for a few moments, and I almost turned away again, when the door suddenly creaked open, and Darien stepped aside to let me in. I entered gratefully without looking at him. In fact I didn't turn around until he had shut the door behind me, and when I did, my eyes remained somehow glued to the floor. I knew he was in front of me, and through my lashes I could discern that he was both angry and expectant from his stance. I let out a breath, and it sounded hollow in the quiet room.

"Darien… I--" I began, but he cut me off before I could finish.

"So when did you plan on telling me? Or were you ever going to tell me?" He interrupted coldly.

"It's not like that… I wanted to tell you, I was going to tell it all tonight, but everything just--"

"Oh cut the crap!" Darien broke in. "All you had to say was 'Darien, I'm a girl!' You had a million opportunities to tell me! We were with each other all the time!" I nodded in response, accepting his anger. "And what about Jarod? He sure as hell knew what was going on when we got to the bathroom! How long has he known?"

"A while," I admitted.

"A while?" Darien repeated, and laughed bitterly. "And he's your roommate… Jesus, I don't even want to think what you two did together!"

I raised my eyes in surprise, defenses immediately up. "He was a perfect gentleman!" I retorted angrily. "He's been protecting me all this time, doing what you would have done if you would have known!" I calmed myself, realizing my anger was pointless. Darien had every right to be upset. "I had to tell him," I said quietly. "Raye kissed me at Homecoming, Jarod saw and flew off the handle, and they both found out by--"

"Raye knew about this too?" Darien shouted, and I winced. "Jesus! Is everybody in on this? Is this some sort of sick joke?"

"No, it's not a joke!" I fired back. "If you'd stop ranting, I'll try to explain myself!"

Darien stopped pacing, and I could see from his tense shoulders he was struggling to maintain control. Wow, this was going splendidly.

"I'm sorry if I'm having a hard time digesting all of this calmly," he replied with mock sincerity, "but I've had a rough few weeks. My best friend is a stranger, my sort of girlfriend is my best friend, and for three weeks I've been questioning my sexuality because I enjoyed a kiss from someone who I thought was a boy!" He ran both hands through his coal black hair and tugged viciously. "I mean, who _are_ you? I thought I knew… but it was all a lie," he stated finally, and my eyes filled with tears.

"You do know me Darien!" I insisted, stepping forward, but I retreated as he moved hastily away as if burned. "I know all this seems wrong," I continued, "but Ren is in here!" I placed my hand over my chest. "Ren and Serena are the same because I never hid myself from you…" I shook my head and lowered my gaze. I didn't want him to see me cry. "I wanted to tell you so many times… every minute the apologies wanted to come out… but I was afraid."

"Afraid of what?" he demanded, advancing towards me.

"Of this! Of exactly this!" I cried. "I didn't want to lose you. I refused to let you go three months ago without a fight, so I came here. Now I have to leave, and I want to lose you even less."

"You barely know me," he muttered dully, but I could see emotion clouding his eyes.

"I know you're kind and funny to everyone around you," I said bravely. "I know you go to the roof to think when things get to be too much for you. I know you're probably going to become a doctor after college when you want to be a photographer." I swallowed hard and continued. "I know you microwave cookies and top them off with ice cream when you're down… And I know you feel something for me. You felt something that day when we met each other at the diner, and you feel something now." I bit my lip to stop it from quivering, and struggled to blink back the tears. "I know you Darien, and I'm sorry for lying to you. I'm _so_ sorry."

Darien sat down on his bed and was silent for a long time. For a moment, my heart filled with hope. Maybe he would forgive me. We could go to the roof, and I could spill the whole story from beginning to end. We could start over, and there would be no more pretending… just me and him.

These hopes were dashed however as he raised his head, and I caught sight of the coldness within his blue eyes.

"It's not enough," he stated simply, rising to his feet. "I don't know you, Serena, and you have given me no reason to trust you."

Hearing my name uttered from his lips with such venom sent a cold chill through my veins. "Darien," I whispered, my eyes overflowing. "Please don't do this."

As if deaf to my pleas, however, he continued on. "You have deceived both myself, and my friends. Everything you've said has all been a lie. I can't forgive you for that," he said finally, and inside I felt my heart break.

He got up slowly and went to the door, his movements almost mechanical. "I want you to leave."

He opened the door, but I remained there for a moment, hoping that he'd somehow reconsider… But then, against the protests of my aching heart, my legs began to move, and in moments I was outside his door. It wasn't until he shut it behind me, however, that my legs lost their newfound strength and I finally collapsed. It was over. I'd lost him, and I had no one to blame but myself.

* * *

_Love it? Hate it? Review please:)_


	27. Chapter 27

_Hey everyone! Okay, first of all, I'm SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY this has taken so long to come out. I have been so busy at work lately, I've been getting over a very broken heart, and as one of my reader's has already guessed--I'm having trouble with the ending! Never fear though, my broken heart is mended, I'm working around my work schedule (:P), and I'll figure out some way to end it! Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this, I really am SO SORRY it has taken me so long to get it out! Enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter 27

It was a while before I finally managed to pull myself from the outside of Darien's room, and when I did, it was agony. It was all I could do not to race back to his door and pound on it until he came out. I wanted to beg for his forgiveness while I planted kisses all over his proud face. I loved him, I truly did, and as my heart screamed out against the steady rising and falling of my footsteps, tears began to fall. I made my through the blur, however, and managed to collect my things with shaking hands. I walked through the door of my room for the last time as a pale and frightened ghost, and as I passed my love's room again I sent a silent goodbye to the angry boy within.

In mere moments I was down the stairs. In five minutes I reached the main hall. Two minutes after that I arrived at the main lobby, and still my heart felt as if it was being rung between powerful fingers. I found the room to be large and cold, so much so that I shook in my thick hooded sweatshirt. It was going to be a long and lonely two hours. To my surprise, however, a short grunt sounded from my left, and I realized I wasn't alone. I suddenly met the eyes of Dr. Thomas, and I shivered a little at the emptiness within.

"Ready to go?" he inquired, and I nodded dumbly. He surveyed my tear-streaked cheeks, and for a moment his brown eyes were sympathetic. "Your father will be here in a couple of hours. Because all the boys are in their rooms, you will not be bothered. There's a couch over there--" he gestured with one pudgy hand at the leather sofa on the other side of the room. "I suggest you take a nap."

I made no reply, but surprisingly his suggestion struck a cord within me. I suddenly realized I was exhausted. I raised my eyes to his and offered him an almost grateful smile. He didn't smile back, but instead offered me his hand. After a moments hesitation, I finally shook it.

"Good luck," he said gruffly.

"Thanks," I murmured.

He surveyed me with one last glance before turning abruptly and striding away with surprising speed. Once he was out of my sight, I headed over to the sofa, and collapsed onto it. Immediately my eyes began to feel heavy, and in moments Darien was completely out of my mind as I slipped into a dreamless slumber.

* * *

It seemed mere moments later when I found myself being shaken back into consciousness by strong hands. I blinked fiercely and slowly the figure in front of me came into focus. Tousled blond hair, strong jaw, full mouth, and dark, angry, brown eyes. It was my father.

I sat up quickly and nearly groaned as the world spun around me. My father reached out and managed to steady me.

"Are you all right?" he asked, and I nodded. He brought me into a standing position and looked me over, a cool expression gracing his handsome features. "Get your things," he ordered softly.

I obeyed him immediately, and after helping me with my trunk, we headed out into the freezing black night. I shivered at the bitter cold, and tried to concentrate on the crunching of the snow beneath us. My father didn't say anything, just led the way, his strides long and heavy.

We loaded my stuff into his Land Rover silently, our breaths steaming into the air around us. Once all my things were inside, my father motioned for me to get in the car. As he headed around toward the driver's side, I looked on Madison for the last time--a dark, hulking mass in the cold winter night. My eyes itched, and I suddenly knew I was going to cry, but the slamming of my father's door awoke me from my emotions, and I turned away from the place where I had found love.

I got into the car, and after buckling my seat belt, my father put it in gear and sped away from the school that had been my home for months. For the first half hour, we were completely silent. I had a lot to think about, but mostly I was afraid of the growing tension filling the Rover as we sped away from Madison. I stole a glance at my father and noticed the strain in his strong shoulders, and the white-knuckle grip he had on the steering wheel. Suddenly, I felt immensely guilty. This had to be a rough night for him.

"Daddy…" I began tentatively.

"Not now, Serena," he muttered.

"Daddy, I know what you must be think--" I began, but he cut me off.

"Don't start something you might want to stop, Serena," he said dangerously. "There's a million things I'm thinking about, but I'm not in the mood to talk about this calmly right now. I'm more in a 'screaming like a raging maniac' frame of mind."

I winced. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"You're sorry?" he repeated incredulously, his voice rising. "You're sorry? Sorry for what, Serena? For lying to me? For putting yourself in danger? For costing me thousands of dollars in tuition fees at a school where you will never receive credit? I don't even know where to begin with you!"

My temper flared suddenly, and before I could stop myself, I was yelling back at him. "Is that what this is about? The money?" I shouted.

Suddenly, my father slammed onto the brakes, jerking me into my seatbelt, and causing the driver behind us to pass, blaring their car horn the entire way.

"Don't you dare try to turn this into something it isn't," he warned, and I turned away as tears filled my eyes. "I don't give a damn about the money."

"Liar," I muttered, my eyes overflowing. "What else could it be? You haven't given a damn about me since Mom died."

My father's breath hitched at the mention of my mother, and guilt immediately dug into my heart. "This isn't about that, and you know it," my dad said softly. "You know I love you very much."

"Do I?" I fired back, rounding on him. "Since Mom died, what's been the longest period of time you've spent at home in the last six years? A week? Maybe two? Between the bottle you hide in your dresser drawer, your apartment in New York, and your job that's conveniently located there, the family bond we used to have has been pretty much nonexistent." I gasped as these last words left my lips, and I turned away. However, I couldn't shake the resentment that hung over my heart. "Honestly, I didn't think you'd even notice I was gone."

A long silence ensued, and in its duration, I stopped crying.

"Serena, look at me," my father suddenly spoke, and I shook my head. "Serena…" he insisted. "Look at me."

I raised my head, and was stunned to see tears in his eyes. "You are so wrong about all of this," he said softly, and I chuckled bitterly. "No," he repeated seriously, and I stopped. "You're wrong." He sighed and shook his head. "I know these last years have been really rough on you and Mina, and I'm so sorry for that. You're right, I haven't been there for you, and all I can do is apologize for it.

"I loved your mother so much, and I still do." He looked down, and I was stunned as I saw twin tears fall into his lap. "I know I'm not the man she fell in love with anymore, and if she could see me now, she'd be very disappointed… but it's never stopped me from loving you and your sister with all of my heart." He paused. "I miss your mother, and missing her makes me a weaker man than I want to be. I want to be strong, for you and Mina, but without her, I don't know how.

"When I got that call from your principle, I was confused and angry, but above all else, I was terrified. Someone had tried to hurt my little girl, and all the school wanted to do was cover it up. I was angry and hurt that you had lied to me, but I was so afraid that you were not okay." He rubbed his eyes, and I smiled softly. "I came here tonight because I care about you, not to get my money back, or perform some sort of duty. I came because I'm your father, and because I love you."

"Daddy…" I whispered, and then my arms were around his neck.

"I love you so much honey," he murmured into my hair.

"I love you too, Daddy," I choked, pulling away. He wiped away the tears that had slipped passed my eyelids and smiled at me.

"What are we going to do about your hair?" he asked, pulling at a strand that had fallen into my eye, and I laughed.

"It'll grow back," I promised, and he nodded.

I sat back in my seat, and my dad once again put the car in drive. We were quiet for a few moments, when he suddenly broke in.

"By the way, you know you're grounded right?"

* * *

From that point on, the trip went fairly smoothly. Although I could see my dad was still pretty angry, the whole thing was going much better than I expected.

"You do know we're going to have to do something about all the school you missed," he broke in, and I turned from the window.

"What do you suggest?" I asked.

"Well, I know it won't be much fun, but the best alternative would be to take college night courses--that way you can get a head start on your G.E. credits, and take care of the stuff you missed," he answered. "I think you should enroll at the community college as soon as we get home."

"How many classes are we talking about?" I wondered, thinking immediately of my friends and my job.

"Probably two or three. They'll be about three hours long, and they'll probably meet twice a week," he informed me.

"So you're saying after being in school for six hours, I have go back for another three hours?" I asked incredulously.

"You put yourself in this position," he said warningly. "It's either that, or graduate late. I don't think either of us want that."

"No," I agreed, sighing wistfully. I turned my eyes back to the window. "We don't want that."

The car was quiet for a long time before my father spoke again, and the question he asked me next was the only question I wasn't quite prepared to answer.

"Why did you do it, Serena?"

I jumped, and turned towards him, my expression surprised. He stared at me expectantly. "All this trouble, it must have been something important."

I shook my head. "It's stupid," I said softly.

"I don't think you would do something like this if it were stupid," my father put in, and I laughed softly. "I admit, my curiosity is peaked," he encouraged, and I smiled.

"I did it for a boy," I answered.

A moment of silence ensued. "A boy?" my dad repeated, and I nodded. He paused, and I could tell he was digesting it all. "A boy?" he said again, and I laughed.

"Shut up! I said it was stupid…" I muttered, blushing furiously.

"It's not stupid. It's just… different. He must be some boy," my father said gently, and my smile faded.

"He was," I said softly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"Not now," I answered honestly.

"Not now, or not ever?" he asked playfully, but I didn't smile back.

"It's a toss up," I murmured.

We didn't speak again for the rest of the trip, but we didn't need to. Somehow, I think my dad understood.

* * *

By the time we finally pulled into the parking structure of our apartment complex, the sky was beginning to lighten into a fair blue with tinges of pink kissing at the edges of the clouds. My father and I unloaded my things quickly and headed towards the elevator. My eyelids felt as if ten-pound weights were tied to them, and the light bag slung across my shoulders seemed to weigh a ton. I was exhausted, and as I listened to my dad's tired grunts as he heaved my enormous bag into the elevator, I realized he was too.

When we reached my apartment, the door was thrown open before my dad could fumble for his keys. Mina stood in the doorway, her long blond hair disheveled and her blue eyes wildly alight. A second later, she crashed into me, and I barely managed to steady myself before her arms were around my neck in a death grip.

"Are you all right?" she whispered furiously.

"I'm fine," I choked out. "I need to breathe though!"

"I don't care!" she wailed. "It's going to take me a second to make sure you're okay!" She cried, but she loosened her hold just enough for me to get a breath in.

"What happened?" she asked. "What about Darien? How's Mal? Does everyone know now?"

She continued to fire question after question at me, and I raised my hands to stop her.

"Later, Mina, please," I pleaded.

"But--" She protested.

"Mina…" My father warned, and she backed down. "Let your sister sleep. You have plenty of time to talk about all this. Especially since your sister is on restriction until summer."

I was too tired to argue against that, so I simply pushed past the two of them, and somehow managed to find my way into my bedroom. After taking one look at my distantly familiar twin bed covered with pink down comforters and bunny pillows, I almost cried with happiness. In seconds I had collapsed onto my bed, a moment later I was fast asleep. Although my life was in shambles, and I had plenty of lectures and responsibilities to face when I awoke that afternoon, I was overjoyed to be home.

* * *

"Serena…"

A soft voice penetrated my dreams of a dark-haired young man in the snow, and I turned my face away from the noise.

"Serena… wake up!" the voice commanded, and I flinched.

"Go away!" I muttered, and a soft giggle followed my annoyed exclamation.

"Come on Serena! It's almost two in the afternoon, and the girls are on their way over!"

I opened my eyes and was immediately blinded by the sunlight filtering through the sheer curtains of my bedroom. As my world slowly came into focus, so did the image of Mina, looking almost angelic with her blond hair and white sweater outlined by the noon-day sun. I sat up reluctantly and groggily began to rub the sleep from my eyes.

"What time is it?" I groaned.

"Almost two, now get up!" Mina commanded, and proceeded to throw a towel at me. "I'm assuming you want to take a shower," she smiled. "I bought your favorite peach shampoo."

I chuckled and shook my head. "Thanks," I murmured, picking up the towel and heading for the bathroom.

I showered and shaved slowly, luxuriating in the simple process of being a girl again. When I got out, I toweled off my now-smooth legs, pulled on my favorite bathrobe, and wrapped my short hair in a bath towel. I smiled, realizing that I wouldn't have to cut it anymore, and I could style it any way I wanted.

I raised my eyes to examine myself in the mirror over the sink, and suddenly was overwhelmed by an enormous feeling of déjà vu. I remembered the first time I had seen myself in the mirror at Madison. I remembered how in that moment I had left my identity as Serena behind. Who was I now? Was I Ren? Or was I Serena again? I had been pretending so long, that for the first time I didn't really know how to act, who to be, or how to start.

Tears filled my eyes, and in the back of my mind, I could almost hear Jarod's easy laugh, Nathan's terrible jokes, Zach's gentle scolding, and Malcolm's stern lectures. I could almost hear Darien's voice, almost see his beautiful face, and almost feel his tender hand on my shoulder ensuring me that it was all right, that he could forgive me for everything I had done. But they were all gone now. What would I do without them?

Mina and the girls found me like that, crying as I stared at my reflection. In moments they were all around me, ensuring me that everything was going to be okay: I would forget him, and I could now be myself. I only cried harder at their gentle encouragement, however. The only person I wanted to be was who I was with him.

* * *

An hour later I sat in an overstuffed armchair in my living room with my fingers wrapped around a steaming mug of cocoa. My tears had long since ceased to fall, mostly due to Lita's excellent mix of hot chocolate and whip cream, and the fluffy pink bunny slippers on my feet. The more time I spent in the comfort of my own home, the more I began to feel like the old Serena--and it was also really hard to feel sad when pink bunnies were smiling up at you from your feet.

I looked up and noticed Lita had found her way to my side of the room. She stood before me expectantly with the canister of whip cream in her hands, and I smiled and raised my mug so she could top me off. It was Thanksgiving Day, and as usual, Lita was spending it with Mina and I. It was a tradition that had been going on for about four years now. When Lita was fourteen, she lost her parents in a terrible car accident. For two years she lived with her mother's much younger brother, but because her uncle was both childless and unmarried, she spent most of her time with Mina and I. I guess we found a bond with one another because we had both lost a parent, and because Lita was wise beyond her years, she became sort of a mom to us. When she petitioned the court for emancipation at sixteen, her uncle was all too happy to have his independence back. Since then, she has spent most of her time here, cooking for us when my dad was away. It was nice to see the tradition hadn't died out in my absence, and the addition of Amy was wonderful as well.

"So what are you going to do now, Serena?" Amy asked, taking a small sip of her cocoa.

I smiled wanly, and shook my head. "I don't know… Get back in school, try and graduate in time, and try to forget about him."

"That might be a little difficult," Mina said softly, and I shifted my gaze to where she sat on the floor. "I mean," she continued, "it's just that we're all still connected to all of his friends." She smiled shyly. "Malcolm calls me every night, and all of them plan on coming down next weekend to see us."

"So are you guys a definite thing now?" I wondered.

Mina shrugged. "There's no label, but I not dating anyone, and I don't plan on it… I'm sort of thinking of as an unspoken exclusive relationship."

"What about you girls?" I asked, turning my attention to Lita and Amy, who blushed.

"Pretty much the same situation," Lita replied. "We like them a lot, and they're definitely attentive--even with the distance."

There was a pause as I let it all sink in. I was happy for all of my friends, but I couldn't help but be a little envious as well. Their relationships had all taken off, and mine had failed miserably. Still, there wasn't any lies attached to their fledgling romances.

"Do you think they know about you?" Amy suddenly asked, and I raised my head.

"I don't know," I answered honestly, shrugging. "Jarod always knew, but both he and Darien were sworn to secrecy by the dean. Still, the rest of the guys will most likely ask a lot of questions, and I don't know how long the boys will be able to hold out."

The front door slamming tore my attention from the conversation, and I sat up just in time to see my father walk in, wrapped snuggly in his scarf and winter coat, his cheeks and nose red from the cold outside. In his hands were bags stuffed with groceries, and I smiled widely as I realized that for the first time in five years, he would be spending Thanksgiving with us instead of at the office.

"Hi Daddy!" Mina cried happily, getting to her feet to help him unload the grocery bags.

"Hey sweetheart," my dad returned, smiling gently. "Well," he began, "they didn't have much because it was so last minute, but I think I managed to get enough for Lita to work with," he said with a wink, and Lita laughed. "You staying too Amy? You're more than welcome…" My father assured her.

"Thanks for the invite Mr. Johnson," Amy replied graciously, "but I actually should be heading home now. I know my mom is going to need some help in the kitchen." She headed over the couch and picked up her coat and purse. "I'll see you guys a little later," she promised, and with a wave, she turned and headed out.

Once the door had closed behind her, my dad shifted his gaze to me, a wry smile pulling at his lips. "Is the prisoner too depressed to help me peel some potatoes?"

I chuckled and shook my head. "No, I'll help."

"Good, and because you were so gracious about it, I'll knock two years off your grounding sentence," he joked.

We all laughed, and I got up and began to wash the rough skin of the brown vegetables in front of me. It felt good to be with my family again, and I wondered how Darien and Raye felt about being so far from theirs. It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't called Raye yet, and I resolved firmly to call her after dinner.

* * *

After we all had eaten and finished washing the dishes, Mina, Lita, and my dad all settled in the living room to watch a few movies my dad had rented while he was out. I, however, took this opportunity to call Raye, who I knew was spending the Thanksgiving holiday at Madison.

My heart was pounding hard in my chest as I dialed her cell number into my phone. Part of me wondered if Darien was with her right now, and that part of me was both terrified and thrilled at the thought… She answered on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Raye?" I said softly. "It's me…"

"Serena!" She exclaimed in the phone, and I smiled. "Jarod! It's Serena! She got home okay! How are you doing? Is everything okay?" She wondered.

"I'm fine," I replied, chuckling at her enthusiasm. Part of me felt let down though, I had sort of hoped Darien would be with her. "I'm home now, just got done with dinner. Everything's been okay here so far, my dad freaked out on me on the way home, but now we've reached an understanding, and I think things are going to be all right. How about you? How are things up at Madison?"

"Okay… Jarod and I just got done with dinner at the cafeteria. The school put on a 'feast' and invited the girls to come along."

"Oh yeah?" I responded skeptically. "Any good?"

"It was awful," she replied, and I laughed. "But what else can you expect? They tried their best."

"How is everyone?" I wondered.

"Everyone is fine. Jarod's still annoying as ever," she paused to shout as Jarod gave her the playful pinch I had anticipated. "The rest of the guys are just as obnoxious. In fact, you missed me breaking up a food fight the boys started, consisting of both lumpy gravy and boxed mashed potatoes."

I wrinkled my nose, but laughed. "Glad I missed it." There was a brief pause as I struggled whether or not to delve into the information I really wanted, but I finally decided to go for broke. "How's Darien?"

I could hear Raye's hesitation on the other end, and my heart sank. "He's doing okay," she replied. "He was polite to Jarod and I this afternoon at dinner, but I think it was just because he doesn't want the guys asking questions about you," she paused, and sighed softly. "I don't really understand why though. They're going to ask questions eventually, but I think he's letting himself live in denial." She snickered. "He really is pissed at us though…"

"I'm so sorry," I apologized, tears filling my eyes. I struggled to suppress the sobs rising in my throat. "It's all my fault."

"He's just hurt, Serena," Raye explained soothingly. "I mean, put yourself in his position. You, his best friend, turn out to be someone he doesn't know, he finds out Jarod and I have known all along, and on top of that he's got to try and pretend you never existed."

"I know, and I'm so angry at myself for all of this! I really screwed up Raye," I sobbed. "I miss him so much, and I've ruined it all. He'll never forgive me, and the worse thing about it is I can't think of a reason why he should!" I sniffed, and reached up to wipe the tears that were now flowing freely from my eyes. "Maybe it would have been better if I had never come to Madison at all."

"Don't you say that," Raye warned angrily, and I stopped, surprised. "Don't you dare!" she repeated. "Although you coming here has caused more problems than you can handle right now, I'm so happy you did." She paused, as if to collect her thoughts. "Has it ever occurred to you where we all would be if you had never showed up? Darien would probably still be Beryl's play toy, Jarod and I would probably still be 'just friends,' and all of your girl friends back home would not have the happiness they have now because you would never have introduced them to the wonderful guys you came to be friends with at this school." She paused suddenly as if to collect her thoughts.

"Darien is just mad right now. He's angry because he was lied to, and he doesn't know what to do with all the emotions he has left. I'll tell you what, Serena… He wouldn't hate you as much as he does right now if he didn't love you so much," Raye promised.

"That doesn't even make sense!" I protested.

"Maybe not right now, but it will," Raye responded obstinately. "I know my brother, and I know he's just being stubborn. Deep down he loves you, I know he does."

I didn't reply and Raye took it as her cue to change the subject. "Listen," she said, her tone changing to something a little less commanding. "Jarod and I are coming down to visit you next weekend along with the rest of the guys. I think they're trying to make this a routine thing. What's your schedule like?"

"I don't know. I've got to get my old job back, and knowing my boss, he'll want me to start right away--especially if all his employees are going to want the day off so they can spend it with their boyfriends…" I rolled my eyes, and Raye laughed at the sardonic tone in my voice. "You're welcome to come in though, if you want."

"Will do," Raye answered. "Maybe I'll bring my brother along."

"I don't know if that's such a great idea…" I said honestly.

"I don't care. I'm going to ask him. I'm not giving up on you two, not ever," Raye promised. "You belong together."

I didn't say anything for a while. "I miss you, you know," I put in, finally.

"I miss you too," Raye replied. "Very much."

"I miss you too, Serena!" Came a distant shout from the phone, and I smiled at Jarod's voice.

"Give Jarod my love," I ordered softly. "And give yourself a big hug too"  
Raye laughed. "Will do."

"See you next weekend?"

"You definitely will," Raye affirmed. "Hopefully I'll have my stupid brother with me."

"I won't hold my breath," I cracked.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Serena," Raye said suddenly.

I paused, but smiled. "Happy Thanksgiving," I replied.

"I'll see you next weekend."

"Okay."

"Bye," Raye said softly.

"Bye," I answered, and hit the "END" button.

* * *

_Like it? Hate it? Hate me for taking so long to get it out to you? Lol, to let me know--review:)_


	28. Chapter 28

_All right everyone, first and foremost I must apologize for the long delay between updates. School has been a nightmare, work has been crazy, and on top of it all, I am really struggling with an ending. I'm sorry to all my readers at who will not be able to read my latest chapter due to some error with the site. Any of you who have friends on the site, please let them know the story has been updated on Again, I apologize for the delay, and I hope you all enjoy my latest addition to The Lengths We Go For Love:)_

* * *

A few days later, at my sister's insistence, I headed out into the world to experience the chaos of post-Thanksgiving shopping. Because our town was so small, we didn't have a mall, but we did have a main street filled with adorable little boutiques displaying signs promising all passersby at least a fifty-percent discount on all merchandise within. Consequently, people were everywhere, bustling about with their shopping bags in hand and their checkbooks and credit cards ready, seemingly oblivious to the snow falling rapidly around them. It seemed even the cold couldn't stop the "shop-till-you-drop" drive of Richmond's residents, and as Mina pulled into a parking spot, I began to catch some of the excitement.

Mina turned towards me, her eyes brimming with pleasure, and I had to smile. Her enthusiasm was contagious, and even though I hated to shop, her adoration for the task made me want to enjoy myself.

"You ready to buy a bunch of cute girly outfits?" she asked.

I nodded. "As ready as I'll ever be," I replied sardonically, but inside I knew today would probably be a lot of fun.

"All right!" Mina responded, clapping her hands together. "Let's go!"

I laughed, and reached for the door handle, immediately feeling the rush of cold air as I opened my door. I shivered, and pulled my fuzzy light pink scarf tighter around my neck as I stepped out of the car and into the frigid air outside. I grinned as snow began to pepper my hair, and as I stretched out my arms and lifted my face into the billowy whiteness, I felt my heart swell in my chest. This was perfect… this was what I loved.

I was suddenly reminded of that moment in the clearing with Darien. The moment I kissed him, how he had looked in the snow, and I felt a stab of pain at the memory. It really did hurt that I didn't have Darien… I really did want to share a day like this with him, playing and dancing in the snow. It seemed I never would, but I could always have this, year in and year out--for the rest of my life. Still, it couldn't stop me from wishing.

"Hey day dreamer, let's go," Mina broke in playfully, taking hold of my arm. "Today is a day for just you and me."

I smiled at her and proceeded to enter into one of the boutiques she was determined to visit. It felt strange to be in a women's store, but as I took in the cute tops, coats, and trousers around me, I began to feel more at home. It was fun watching Mina go from rack to rack, picking out her favorite colors, and pressing the garment up against herself to test the size before she actually tried it on. For my part, I scanned the clothing with my eyes, occasionally reaching out to touch the fabric around me. It was hard knowing where to start, but Mina suddenly approached me, holding up an adorable pink cashmere sweater.

"Try this," she commanded, placing it into my arms.

"All right," I answered.

* * *

After that, the choices came easy. Mina and I picked out a couple of winter appropriate outfits, and began scanning dresses for the Christmas parties we knew our father would be invited to.

"So… Winter Formal is coming up," Mina said suddenly, pulling up a lovely sparkly blue dress that matched her cornflower blue eyes.

"Yeah?" I answered absentmindedly, looking over a cute black number. I shook my head though, putting it back. It was a little too sexy for my dad's Christmas party. The last thing I needed were his office partners hitting on me after too much spiked eggnog.

"I was thinking of asking Malcolm to go with me," she said, pressing gently. I looked at her, mildly surprised.

"That could be fun," I answered, hardly fazed.

"I was thinking maybe you could think about asking Darien," she said nonchalantly.

I sighed. "Mina, don't okay?"

"Don't what?" she asked. "Don't want you to be happy?"

"Stop it, you're being melodramatic. I don't want to talk about Darien, okay?" I said seriously. "Not anymore."

Mina was silent, and I suddenly felt bad because I knew she was only trying to help. "Listen, I know I'm going to have to get used to the idea of possibly running into him. The guys are coming down this weekend, and I'm positive I'm going to have to come clean with them about what I did. Darien is really pissed at me, so much so that I don't think he'll ever get over it. I just want to stay away from him, forget about him. There's no use holding on to false hope."

"I just want you to be happy," she muttered dully.

"And I will be, someday. Just not with Darien." I sighed, frustrated. "You know, this isn't easy for me to say, to give up. But it has to be done." I bit my lip as tears filled my eyes. "Look, I don't want to talk about this anymore."

I turned around and headed for door, when it opened and a tall young man stepped through, stomping snow from his boots. He looked vaguely familiar, but I was in for the shock of my life as I brushed passed, and he smiled at me.

"Hey, Serena!"

I stopped and raised my eyes, then gasped, not quite believing it. "Allen?"

He grinned and nodded. "Wow, I haven't seen you forever!"

"Yeah, I know…" I said sheepishly, taking him in. "Wow, you look… different."

He laughed, and I felt my heart jump a little. Different was the understatement of the year. The tall, skinny geek with huge glasses, braces, and a pretty good crop of acne had been replaced with this broad shouldered, clear-skinned, handsome young man with a beautiful smile.

"Yeah. I've been hitting the gym, I got contacts, and my braces came off shortly after you left. You look different too," he pointed out, grinning.

I reached up and fingered my short hair shyly. "Yeah, remnants of my adventure," I said dryly.

"Yeah, I almost forgot about that. A story you'll probably have to fill me in on. It looks good though," he said, gesturing at my hair. "Short hair suits you."

"Yeah, well, don't get used to it," I said with a short laugh. "I'm not going to cut it again for a while."

"Hey, either way you look good," he said easily, and smiled again. Wow, he really had changed!

A brief silence ensued, and I interrupted it nervously. "What are you doing here anyway?" I asked. "I don't think this place has anything in your size," I joked.

He laughed, and a light blush stained his cheeks. "Naw, I'm shopping for my girlfriend actually. Her birthday's next week."

"Girlfriend! Wow!" I smiled. "Anyone I know?"

"Ann Jacobs, she's a year below us--"

"Yeah, I know," I interrupted. I smiled apologetically. "I used to run track with her--nice girl, very pretty."

"Yeah, I'm pretty crazy about her," he said softly, and I smiled.

"I never got a chance to thank you for all that you did for me," I put in.

"It was nothing," he answered honestly. "I hope everything worked out okay for you."

"It did," I lied.

I suddenly felt someone touch my wrist, and I turned to see Mina standing there looking contrite, carrying our shopping bags.

"Hey Allen," she spoke up.

"Hey," he replied, and then turned to me. "It was good to see you."

"Same here," I returned easily. "Say 'hi' to Ann for me."

"Will do," he promised with a small salute. "See you later."

"Bye," I said over my shoulder, and headed outside with Mina in tow.

I didn't have time to really think about my encounter with Allen before Mina was apologizing.

"I'm really sorry Serena, I shouldn't have pushed the issue."

"Mina, stop saying you're sorry. I'm not mad at you, I just want you to drop it. It's not the end of the world that I'm not with Darien okay? I'm sad, there are things I wish I could have said to him, ways I wanted to explain myself, but I have to come to terms with the fact I will probably never get a chance to say anything to him. Just let me deal with it in my own way okay? Please?" I asked. She looked about to protest, but finally nodded.

"All right," she gave in.

"All right," I conceded, and grabbed a couple of the shopping bags. "Now why don't we head over to Andrew's for some apple pie?"

Mina smiled and nodded. "Okay."

* * *

The next week passed with surprising speed. I managed to re-enroll in school, and I worked out a deal with my counselor that involved taking community college courses in addition to my regular classes. Because I mostly had to catch up in English and Math, I enrolled in a couple of six-week courses during the winter session. I began high school right away, but I wouldn't have to attend college until January.

Everyone was really happy to see me back at school. All my friends and teachers freaked over my new hairstyle, and my coach had already approached me about track in the spring. Andrew had re-hired me at the Comfort Café, so work and school were definitely keeping me busy. However, that didn't stop me from feeling nervous about the approaching weekend.

Thursday night, Raye called to inform me she and the boys were indeed coming down to visit. This was confirmed later on by Mina, who came bouncing into my room totally ecstatic that Mal was finally driving down to see her. Darien wasn't coming, which didn't surprise me, but there was no doubt in my mind I would have to face the rest of the guys… The thought absolutely turned my stomach. What was I going to say to all of them?

* * *

Friday started out like any other typical Friday: I went to school, came home, took a shower and got ready for my only night off, yet I couldn't seem to get rid of the heavy stone that had managed to settle itself at the pit of my stomach. Tonight the guys would be meeting all of my closest friends at the Comfort Café for dinner, and although Raye and Jarod would be there for emotional support, I was still terrified. I put down my brush and stared at my reflection in the mirror, noticing my hair had grown a couple of inches since I had arrived home a couple of weeks before. Thanks to my refusal to cut it before I left, it now reached the middle of my neck, and I had high hopes it would brush the tops of my shoulders by Christmas. I smiled and proceeded to part the front section to the side, tucking the blond strands behind my ears and swiftly securing them with a pair of pretty silver barrettes.

"Hey Serena!" Mina suddenly barged in, and I jumped from my position in front of my vanity. "Sorry," she apologized quickly, "I didn't mean to scare you. Lita just called, she's on her way with Ami to pick us up. You almost ready?"

"Yeah," I replied. "How do I look?"

She smiled and walked over, reaching out a hand to tug gently at the pink cashmere cardigan I was wearing. Underneath was a pale-yellow long-sleeved v-neck shirt layered over a snow-white camisole. Boot-cut dark-denim jeans, black leather boots, and my pendant completed my outfit, but even with my light-blue snow jacket, I still felt completely naked.

Mina seemed to sense my fear, and hugged me gently with the hopes of calming me down. "You look beautiful," she soothed. "Now just try to keep yourself together until the end of the night. Everything will be fine, I promise."

I sighed, hoping she was right, but I didn't have much time to think, because at that moment, Lita and Amy arrived ready to go. We headed out the door after a few nervous hellos, and completed the drive to the Comfort Café in silence. After we parked around back, we headed around the corner, and I was startled to see Mal's Navigator parked in front of the restaurant. Through the window I could see them all laughing and joking. They looked the same, and suddenly such a longing rose within me I had to choke back the sobs quickly rising in my throat.

"I can't do this," I whispered, but before I could turn and run, Mina took hold of my hand and pulled me through the door.

Amy and Lita were already at the table by the time Mina and I made our cautious approach. The closer I got, the heavier and heavier my feet seem to become. My gaze remained transfixed to the back of Mina's golden head, but when Nathan's laugh suddenly erupted from ahead, I started and nearly stopped completely. Mina's grip was firm, however, and her momentum forced me into center stage in front of the group. Conversation stopped as quickly as if there had been an "off" button. I smiled nervously, feeling panic seep into the pit of my stomach. I met Raye's eyes, and she smiled at me encouragingly, but all I felt was terror as I took in the confusion on the boys' faces.

"Ren?" Nathan asked, rising to his feet. He peered at me and suddenly laughed. "It _is_ you! What the hell happened to you? And what are you wearing?"

"Serena," Jarod corrected, reaching out to settle Nathan back down.

"What?" Nathan asked, his bewilderment very evident.

"What's going on, Mina?" Mal suddenly piped up. He looked as if he had swallowed a bug.

"This is my sister, Mal. This is Serena," Mina explained softly.

"That's not Serena!" Nate protested. "That's Ren… with boobs!" he added, and Raye turned her head struggling to hold in her laughter.

"What the hell is going on here?" Mal repeated, rising to his feet.

I swallowed hard, and suddenly found my voice. "Sit down, Mal. I'll try to explain everything."

"You had better!" he ordered, his voice rising. "We were really worried when you disappeared!"

"I know," I assured him. "I can explain everything."

He sat down reluctantly, and Mina put a comforting hand on his arm. She quickly removed it, however, when he shot her an icy glare. I took a deep breath, and decided to start from the beginning.

"A few months ago, you all came into this restaurant, this very spot, and met a girl. Well, this girl in that short time managed to fall for one of your closest friends. With a little encouragement, she decided to risk everything to see him again. So… she put on a disguise, she went to his all-boy boarding school, and became one of his closest friends. This little experiment got a little complicated, however, because somewhere along the way, she fell in love with him. This only got worse because she also managed to fall in love with all his friends during her short stay there." I paused and felt tears fill my eyes. "You guys were some of the best friends I ever had," I continued. "Now that you're so close to all my friends from back home, I figured you all needed to hear the truth. Darien has turned his back on me, a fact I have come to accept, but I pray with all my heart you guys can find it in yourselves to forgive me. I'm sorry I lied to you all, I'm sorry you had to find out like this, but both Darien and Jarod were forbidden to tell you why Ren disappeared. There was no Ren, only a frightened girl playing dress-up, and I hope you all can forgive me for deceiving you."

I finished with a sigh, and reached up to wipe the tears that had managed to escape my eyelids. The table was silent before me, but I was too exhausted from my explanation to care.

"Well," Zach suddenly spoke, and I raised my eyes to see him smiling at me. "That explains a lot."

Tears of relief filled my eyes almost immediately. Suddenly I realized, with the boys at least, everything was going to be okay.

* * *

The rest of the night was filled with laughter as Jarod and Raye recounted our experiences at Homecoming, and as the guys fired questions at me about sticky situations I managed to get myself into. Mal was the only one who managed to stay quiet the entire time, however, and this was something that concerned me greatly. At midnight Andrew politely informed us that the restaurant was closing, and we began to disperse, giving me a chance to pull Mal aside. He followed me reluctantly outside.

We were quiet for a few moments, staring at the grown, when I suddenly grew weary of the tension.

"So spill," I commanded. "You were the only one not firing questions at me in there, and I know there are quite a few buzzing around in the head of yours."

Mal was quiet for a moment, and then raised his eyes to mine. "I know why you did it, I just don't know what we're all supposed to do now."

"What do you mean?" I wondered.

"We are dating your closest friends, we forgave you for everything you did, but now we have to go back home and pretend we don't know you in front of Darien," he shifted his foot and gave a stray pebble on the sidewalk a swift quick. I watched it clatter down the street.

"Why?" I asked, shifting my eyes back to Mal.

"Because Darien loves you," he stated simply.

My heart jumped at his words, but I squashed the feeling before it could warm me. "He hates me," I stated bitterly.

"Yeah, he does that too…" Mal agreed softly. "But only because he loves you," he added.

I raised my eyes with surprise. "That's what Raye said."

"Yeah, well, she would know," he said, chewing at his thumbnail. "It was pretty easy to see though. For a while a lot of us thought Darien was gay."

"What? How could Darien be gay?" I asked, incredulous.

"Because when you were Ren, he looked at you like Serena." I felt my mouth drop open and Mal grinned sardonically. "I think this scared him more than anything else," he continued, kicking another stray pebble halfway down the street. "Sure, he's totally pissed that you lied to him, but managing to make him love you as a boy was quite confusing for him. I heard him talk to 'Serena' every night on the phone when she would call him, but I also watched him look at you every day when you wore pants and a tie. He hates you for confusing him, and now that you've picked one guise over the other, he doesn't know what to do."

I was silent through all of this, but somewhere in the middle, I started to cry.

"It's going to be pretty hard trying to explain how you've managed to come back into the lives of all his closest friends."

"So should I have let myself disappear?" I wondered.

"Nope, you're doing the right thing," Mal said quietly. "Darien's just not going to like it. He's stubborn as all hell, he hates to be fooled, and he's been burned before. Three counts against you, but then again, love doesn't always follow the rules."

Mal stopped there because suddenly everyone was around us, saying their goodbyes. Mal gave me a tight hug, which I returned fiercely, and then proceeded to kiss the daylights out of Mina, while I hugged Raye and Jarod.

"I told you it would all work out," Raye said pointedly.

"Shut up," I ordered, and we both laughed.

The farewells took about five minutes, and although I was already missing them by the time their tail lights were mere pinpricks in the darkness ahead, I felt better. I may not have won Darien, but I still had the guys… at least on the weekends.

* * *

_Love it? Hate it? Review please:)_


	29. Chapter 29

Okay, first and foremost, I am SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY this took so long in coming! I spent all of July in Italy, which took away a month of writing, and when I came home I was forced to get a second job which had extremely extensive training that didn't calm down until now. I know I probably lost a lot of readers due to this hiatus, but to those of you that are stickin with me, thank you so much! You are the reason I keep writing. Just a note though, this chapter is a little longer, and for those of you waiting for the story's climax, I promise it won't be long now. Thank you guys so much for reading! Enjoy:)

* * *

The next few weeks passed quickly. I had work, essays, and midterms to attend to during the week, and my friends continued to see each other in the meantime. I'd love to say I got to hang out with them often, and even explore my new prospects with Darien, but usually I was waiting tables while they were out at the movies, or inside studying while they were out to dinner. I can't complain, this was the situation I made for myself, not to mention the fact that I'd most definitely miss Darien if I was constantly around couples--no matter how careful they were with public displays of affection.

Although Mal's confession in the weeks before had renewed a certain hope within me, I tried not to dwell on it. If Darien and I were ever going to happen, I knew it would be sometime in the far future. All the work I had now was a welcome distraction for the long road I knew lay ahead. Needless to say, however, when my dad entered my room while I was busy studying for my Government midterm bursting with excitement about new plans for Christmas, I was only too happy to set my notes aside.

"What's going on?" I asked, unable to see past the smirk on his handsome face.  
Instead of answering, however, he turned and shouted for Mina, who arrived moments later toweling her blond hair, still dripping from the shower.

"What's up?" she asked, favoring my father with a somewhat suspicious expression.

"I have got some great news," my dad admitted with a sneaky grin. I smiled, a bit puzzled, and urged him with a wave to continue. "Well," he drawled, "you remember how I designed that new building for the hospital in Albany?"

Did I ever… After my mother had passed away, my dad had been offered a job designing a new cancer wing in the city that would house patients during their treatment. Having lost a spouse to the horrible disease, my dad had a strong passion for this particular project, and spent three years constructing one of the most beautiful buildings the city had ever seen--both inside and out. Because he had been given complete control over the project, he had encouraged the interior decorators to use neutral tones, comfortable furniture, and to redesign the patient rooms in a way that not only helped to accommodate visiting (or live-in) family members, but also made the hospital feel a bit more like home. Although his efforts took him away from us for a long time, it was the project Mina and I were the most proud of. Many had criticized his work because it had cost so much to finish, but the countless praise letters he had received in the years after from grateful family and friends of patients who had recovered or lost their battle with the disease there, was enough to shatter the sting of even the harshest critique.

These memories almost caused tears to come to my eyes, but instead I managed to tear myself from my thoughts and smiled.

"Sure we do," I encouraged, "what about it?"

"Well, apparently for the past few years the new wing has been such a success for both patients and doctors that it caught the attention of another hospital in New York City. Today I received a call from the board of directors for the medical center requesting my services to redesign their current cancer wing!" He finished excitedly.

"Oh my gosh! Daddy that's amazing!" Mina exclaimed, clapping her hands wildly. I laughed and rushed to my feet to give him a hug.

"Isn't it?" he gushed. "The board is requesting my presence at a charity gala on Christmas Eve… I was wondering if you two wanted to be my dates!"

We stared at him in open-mouthed amazement. He took our stunned expressions for rejection and his smile faded.

"I know this is all short notice girls, and I know we usually spend Christmas Eve with Lita… but I thought it would be fun spending a week in the city; Lita could come too, and it would be a wonderful opportunity for Serena to scope out NYU's campus…"

"Daddy, are you joking?" I scoffed. "A chance to get dressed up for a charity gala, and spending Christmas in New York City? Of course we want to go!"

The look of relief on his face was enough to force Mina and myself into a fit of giggles. Still laughing, we threw our arms around each other and danced around the kitchen without a thought to how stupid we looked. Only a few weeks and we would be heading to New York. I could hardly wait!

* * *

Because of recent events, I was in a much better humor for the next couple of weeks. I actually began to smile at my tables, and homework was a bit more bearable… okay, so maybe it wasn't, but I definitely had something to look forward to, which made it seem more a little more bearable. Everything seemed to be going right for the first time since I left Madison, and I guess it was because of this that my next encounter was such a blow.

It happened while I was walking out of a boutique in Richmond. I was out inspecting shops for the perfect dress for the gala, without much success. There were very nice selections, but none of them seemed quite right to me. I was looking for something special, so when I walked out of the shop feeling slightly discouraged at yet another botched attempt, I failed to pay attention to where I was going. Before I knew it, I was knocked into the snow by a tall, lean figure.

"Shit!" the guy exclaimed, bending down immediately to help me. "Are you all right?"

I laughed a little, and struggled to get to my feet. "It's okay," I assured him. "I'm--" but my words died on my lips as I suddenly recognized the person in front of me.

"Serena?" he finally managed, disbelief etched on his still handsome features.

"Seiya," I stated simply.

"Wow! I haven't seen you in forever!" he exclaimed. "You look… different. When did this happen?" He asked, reaching up towards my hair.

"Couple months ago," I managed stiffly, pulling away. "Long story."

"Looks good," he assured me, and I struggled to swallow the lump that had suddenly formed at the base of my throat. Why was my heart pounding so hard?

I took a moment to glance up and study him. He looked almost exactly the same. His hair was still short and spiky, his eyes were still the same shade of deep blue, and three earrings still shimmered from each ear. With a jolt I realized that he resembled a less striking Darien… Their bone structure was similar, but Darien's lips were fuller, and Seiya's face was more boyish. Darien was definitely more muscular as well, although Seiya did have a nice lean figure. Was that why I had been attracted to Darien?

Before I could consider this, however, Seiya broke the silence between us. "How have you been? Has everything been okay?"

I leveled him with a chilly stare. "Do you mean have I recovered from all those awful rumors you spread about me? Yeah, I'm perfect. I think after you, most women learn how to bounce back with ease," I stated coldly, trying to press past him.

"Whoa, Serena… Hold on a second," he protested, taking hold of my shoulders. I shook my head and started to push forward again.

"I don't want to hear anymore of your crap Seiya," I said flatly. "I don't want to be nice, I don't want to exchange pleasantries, and I do not want to pretend nothing has happened."

"Who says we're pretending?" he exclaimed, rounding on me. "What about me? Don't I get to defend myself a little?" he pushed. "Didn't I have a right to be angry at how things ended? I mean, I thought we were crazy about each other, and then BAM! It's over. Yeah, I got carried away with some stuff… but it was because losing you hurt. I miss you, Serena," he said softly, and my expression softened for a moment. "I'm sorry for everything. I really am."

I stared at him for a long time, saying nothing. People milled around us, gently pushing us closer together, and suddenly it began to snow. I suddenly remembered that moment in the clearing with Darien with perfect clarity. I remembered how the snow had peppered his hair, how beautiful he had looked with his face upturned in the billowing whiteness, and how sweet the kiss I had shared with him had been. These memories crashed over me like a tidal wave, and I swallowed hard.

"You know Seiya…" I began slowly. "A couple of months ago, that apology may have worked. But now, I'm just different. You're different. I honestly do forgive you, but if you're looking for me to be with you again, it's not going to happen."

"Why? Why not? Are you seeing someone or something?" he asked worriedly.

"No," I admitted. "But I've figured out what I want, and I'm sorry to say that you don't fit the profile." His stunned expression at my brutal honesty stung a little, but I wasn't going to retract what I said. "You'll find someone Seiya, it just won't be me"  
I left him then, and didn't look back. It was easier than I expected, but I know I couldn't have done it without the memory of Darien's lips on mine while the snow fell softly around us.

* * *

A week later, Mina finally found a dress for the gala, and not a day too soon. Because it was such a formal event, my dad claimed he didn't mind if we splurged a bit… I think he should have carefully considered this statement before giving it.

"How could you spend that much Mina? This is a ball--not your wedding!" I giggled as Mina held the phone away from her ear, rolling her eyes.

"It was a bit much," I pointed out to her, and she scoffed in reply.

"Daddy, you're completely overreacting!" Mina assured him.

"OVERREACTING!" my father exploded, and I laughed again. "I could fly to Ohio with what you paid for that fabric!"

"Yeah, Daddy," Mina whined. "But it's so pretty!" she insisted.

That was for sure! Mina had managed to find a gorgeous, floor-length, strapless chiffon gown in a soft blue. Small, glittering beads were pressed gently into the fabric so that every movement made the rise and fall of the skirt resemble the sun skimming the surface of the sea. Diamond earrings, a matching pendant, a white-gold tennis bracelet, and elegant silver strap-on heels completed her outfit, and I knew there wasn't a guy at the ball who wouldn't be drooling when she walked through the door.

My dress was turning into a bit of a challenge though. Mina and I had been to countless shops, but nothing seem to fit right. Didn't matter though… With the fight Mina was having with my dad, I was beginning to wonder if I wanted to go at all!

"Mina," I said quietly, "maybe we should give this up. My feet are tired, we've been to like fifty--" but she cut me off with a wave of her hand and sped ahead.

"Dad," she stated patiently, and I smiled knowing she was about to win this argument. "You said I could buy whatever I wanted. This dress is perfect! We've been shopping all week for these dresses to go to YOUR ball. Now, we had a deal. If you want to break it, I'll go right back and return it… _But_, if you love me, you'll let me keep it!" She finished, and I heard nothing but silence on the other end.

"You are so unfair," I heard my dad mutter, and Mina grinned triumphantly.

"Thank you, Daddy!" She said sweetly, and I heard him mumble something incoherently on the other end before she flipped her phone shut with a solid click.

"You are such a brat," I pointed out.

"Yeah," she agreed with a grin. "But one that gets what she wants!"

I wanted to laugh, but really I was pretty exhausted. "Mina, do we really have to keep looking? I'm so over all of this!"

"Well, what about over there?" she asked pointing, and I turned only to see a tiny boutique I hadn't noticed before. Set next to a quaint little tea shop, it was a wonder we had missed it!

"I don't know, I'm pretty beat…" I whined.

"Too tired to go shopping?" Mina gasped. "Doesn't exist! Let's go!" she said, grabbing my hand and dragging me toward the shop's red door.

As soon as I stepped into the store, I was enveloped with the warm scent of lavender and vanilla. I inhaled deeply. My mom had always worn lavender, and it was one of my favorite winter fragrances. It was always a comfort smell for me, and as my eyes took in the cozy room, I began to feel more at ease.

"Can I help you?" A low, but pleasant voice inquired. I turned to see a tall, beautiful Japanese woman with long dark hair approaching. Her features were sharp and regal, and her eyes were the strangest shade I had ever seen--so honey brown they almost appeared red.

"Sure," I mumbled, struggling to find my voice. For some reason, this woman greatly intimidated me, and when I stole a glance at Mina, I could see she was in the same state. "I'm looking for a dress," I finally managed.

"Wonderful," she said with a smile, and I relaxed a bit. "What's the occasion?"

"A charity gala in New York City," I answered quickly. "My dad is taking my sister and myself."

The woman nodded and suddenly moved closer, letting her eyes rove over my figure from head to toe. At this distance I could see my image reflected in her eyes, and shivered slightly. She didn't seem to notice however, and straightened herself a moment later, a thoughtful expression on her face.

"How often do you wear white?" she suddenly questioned.

"Excuse me?" I blurted.

"The color…" she explained patiently. "How often do you wear it?"

I raised a quizzical eyebrow. "I don't know…" I confessed. "Isn't white a little too, I don't know… bridal?"

For the first time since I came into the shop, I saw a shadow of a smile flicker across the woman's gorgeous features. She shook her head at my statement. "The dress I have in mind definitely won't be confused for a wedding gown."

Suddenly, she turned and disappeared behind a curtain, only to appear again holding the loveliest dress I had ever seen. My mouth dropped open, and Mina let out a soft cry from my side.

"It's incredible!" She exclaimed, clapping her hand over her mouth.

I was too speechless to answer, and instead moved closer to inspect the gown. It was beautiful! Strapless white satin, fitted waist, a soft billowing skirt, and trimmed with a lovely silver ribbon along the edges that was held in place by tiny jeweled beads. With the right heels and jewelry, I would look like a princess…

"How much is it?" I breathed.

"Well, the material is satin shipped in from France, and the beading also makes it quite expensive…" She paused for a moment, and I raised my eyes and waited for her to continue. "Six-hundred dollars," she finished.

I felt the blood drain from my face and my heart sank. _Six-hundred dollars?_ Mina's dress had only cost three-hundred and fifty and my dad nearly had a coronary. He would blow a fuse if I purchased this thing, no matter how beautiful it was.

"Serena," Mina said softly, and I looked up despairingly. "Do it."

"Are you kidding?" I protested. "Dad would have a heart-attack if I spent that much for one night!"

"So what?" Mina fired back. "Where are you going to find another dress like that? Just do it!"

"The last time you said that I got in a lot of trouble. NO!"

"I'll tell you what…" the woman suddenly interjected, and I closed my mouth sharply, embarrassed. "I'll give you the dress for five-hundred, and I'll throw in a free fitting."

My mouth dropped open. What was with the sudden drop in price, and the fitting offer?

"Why?" Mina asked, reading my thoughts. "Is there something wrong with it?"

The woman shrugged. "It's been on the shelf a long time, and so far she's the only girl I've thought to bring it down for… You see, I try to match my dresses to my clients. Every person that comes into this store finds their perfect dress, guaranteed."

"Guaranteed?" I repeated skeptically.

The woman nodded and smiled. "So you see, if you don't buy this dress today, I'll never sell it. It is only for you."

I wasn't sure what to say, and when I turned to Mina I received no help because she was staring at the lady like she was a total crackpot. However, a hundred dollar decrease in price was very significant. Maybe if I put three hundred on my dad's card, and two hundred on my own, I'd be able to swing it. After a moments thought, I finally decided that's what I had to do. As crazy as it sounded, the dress did seem perfect for me, and with a free fitting, how could I possibly pass it up?

"All right," I answered finally. "It's a deal."

The purchase went quickly, and the woman, who introduced herself finally as Setsuna offered to fit the dress immediately. Anxious to try it on, I heartily agreed and was truly amazed how little alteration the dress required. As soon as Mina zipped up the back and stepped away, the dress seemed to form to my body. It was almost perfect… It clung to my form, but was neither tight nor confining. Mina let out a low whistle, and I realized it must look as good as it felt.

"It fits like a second skin!" she declared, and I beamed in amazement as Mina turned me towards the mirror. Only Setsuna didn't appear surprised.

"I'll make a few adjustments to the skirt because it's a bit long, but other than that, I think it's perfect," she smiled again. "You made a great decision, Serena."

"Thank you," I murmured softly, taking in my reflection.

The dress looked amazing, but as my eyes traveled upwards, my smile faded a bit. What was I going to do with my hair? Because I had been growing it out since leaving Madison, I had managed to get back some inches. However, my blond strands still barely grazed the tops of my shoulders.

"What am I going to do with my hair?" I asked quietly, the despair pretty evident in my tone.

Mina frowned. "We'll figure something out Serena. It's not that short anymore, I'm sure we could probably manage a cute up-do…" She paused for a moment, and then grinned. "Then again, there are always hair extensions!"

I tried to smile at that, but couldn't manage it. I really couldn't wait until my hair grew back. Out of everything, it was the only part of my image that constantly remained a reminder of my experience at Madison. For some strange reason, I felt as if I couldn't truly be Serena without it, and because of this, Darien stayed away.

I shook these thoughts away, however, realizing I was being utterly ridiculous. Without another word, I gently removed the dress and handed it to Setsuna for alterations. After we explained the situation to her, she promised to have it ready by the next day. As she waved goodbye to us, we headed outside into the cold feeling refreshed and excited. I had my dress now, and in just a few days, we would be leaving for New York!

* * *

Those days went by very quickly. Lita and I managed to get our shifts covered at work, and I finished my midterms and enrolled for the spring semester at the local junior college. At six o'clock on the morning of Christmas Eve, my dad gently shook Mina, Lita, and I awake to head for the airport. We got up reluctantly and dressed quickly, and I made sure to grab my dress and shoes on the way out. My dad managed to get us to the airport in perfect time, and we boarded the plane with no difficulty.

Now, I'm extremely afraid of flying. This wasn't my first plain trip, we had headed out west once to visit my aunt and uncle in California, and the experience had scarred me for life. It started out relatively well, but when we hit severe turbulence flying over the Midwest, I freaked out. My mom had held my hand the entire time, but I know my crying and carrying on had awoken and possibly even frightened other passengers. My mom wasn't here this time, but Mina took hold of my hand immediately as we took off, and with its helpful pressure, I managed to get through the experience only slightly breaking a sweat.

Luckily for me, the flight was smooth sailing all the way. The food was terrible (apparently it was a chicken salad sandwich, without the chicken), but it was only a couple of hours long, and we were in New York by noon. After we landed, we scrambled off the plane to claim our bags. My dad found a taxi almost immediately after leaving the airport, and as we all climbed inside, we marveled at how smoothly this had all gone.

"Can you believe we're here Serena?" Mina exclaimed, her eyes brimming with excitement.

I smiled and turned my head to look outside. We were crossing the bridge into Manhattan, and I don't think I've ever seen anything like it in my whole life.

"No," I murmured. "I really can't believe it."

"So, Mr. J!" Lita called out, and my dad turned and grinned. "Where are we staying?"

"At the Waldorf Astoria," he answered, and our mouths dropped open. "The gala is in their ballroom, and we've received a complimentary suite."

"Daddy, are you serious?" I asked incredulously. "You didn't tell us it was at the Waldorf Astoria!"

He shrugged and smiled again. "Surprise!" he said simply.

I gaped at him. "Is there anything bad about this trip?" I teased.

He laughed and shook his head. "I sure hope not… I want this trip to be a lot of fun for you girls," he murmured. I smiled at him, and he reached over to rumple my hair. Normally this would have elicited a groan of complaint, but this time I let him.

* * *

A half hour later, the cab dropped us off in front of the Waldorf Astoria. Around us people were getting out of limos or expensive cars, shouting at assistants and bell boys to take care of their countless pieces of luggage sporting logos like Coach and Prada. Mina, Lita, and I rolled our eyes at a young woman who suspiciously resembled Paris Hilton rudely informing one of the hotel's employees just where and how he should put her luggage once in her room. Her manner was so haughty, her small Pomeranian in her bag even managed to look important… The bellboy seemed unfazed, however, and without saying a word, enlisted a few of his fellow workers to carry her things while she sauntered away.

Despite all of this, my dad managed to get us all checked in, and with the help of a young man named Jeffrey, we got all of our things into our room. After tipping the young man, we closed the door and got a chance to inspect our suite properly. It was basically a small house. As soon as we walked in, we were greeted by plush sofas and chairs, rich brown mahogany furniture, and gorgeous draperies and wall paper in rich neutral tones. There were two huge bedrooms with king-sized beds inside, and in one a small roll away twin was neatly placed against the wall. All looked inviting with their creamy comforters and feather pillows, and as we pulled the sheets back, we marveled at the feel of the genuine Egyptian cotton sheets.

"Oh I'm definitely sleeping well tonight!" Lita exclaimed, and Mina and I laughed.

"I'm checking out the bathroom!" Mina said suddenly, and ran to the room adjoining ours. Lita and I were close behind, and we both stopped short in the doorway as we caught a glimpse of a truly beautiful sight.

The bathroom was huge. On the left lay a Jacuzzi-style tub with gold handles and showerhead. Neatly placed above it were plush white towels and washcloths. On the right was a huge mirror set atop three matching sinks. Adjustable bulbs bordered the mirror, and were reflected in the polished black granite tiles around us.

"Holy crap…" Lita breathed, and Mina and I sighed in response.

We just stood there for a moment taking in our dream bathroom. This was going to be the perfect place to get ready for tonight. The space was awesome, and with these mirrors, there was no way we were going to walk out with crazy make up lines.

"All right guys," Mina said finally, breaking the silence. "Let's eat!"

Because both Lita and I were starving, we refused to protest and headed into my dad's room to find him unpacking his suitcase.

"Dad, we're starving!" Mina whined, flopping onto his bed.

He grinned and moved a pile of clothing out of the way so I could sit down. "I'm actually going to finish packing girls," he said, reaching to his left and laying out his tuxedo bag flat on the bed. "If you're hungry though, the restaurant is probably serving lunch downstairs. Just go down and eat, and charge it to our room."

"Are you sure you're not hungry?" I asked, fiddling with a pair of his socks.

"I'm fine. Just be back soon though, okay? I know it'll take you girls a while to shower and get read for tonight, and I'd prefer not to be late."

"All right," I answered, pushing myself to my feet. "Are you sure you don't want us to bring you something?"

"Positive. If I need anything there's always room service."

I nodded and turned to Lita and Mina who both looked ready to go. "All right then, we'll catch you a little later then."

My dad waved in response and we made our way into the den and out the door into the hallway outside. Not quite sure which way to go, we picked a direction and hoped for an elevator. Luckily, we were fortunate enough to find one, and managed to locate the restaurant within fifteen minutes. It was pretty empty inside, and a few employees were still setting up, but to our surprise a rather stuffy-looking maitre'd waved us in. After taking a moment to glance at his nametag, I quickly discovered his name to be James.

"How many this afternoon ladies?" he politely inquired, his beady black eyes peering down at us.

"Just three," Mina answered, reaching up to tighten her long blonde ponytail.

He nodded and motioned for us to follow. "Are you guests at the Waldorf?" he asked over his shoulder as we walked.

"Yes," I confirmed. "It's okay if we charge the bill to our room right?"

"Of course," he assured us. We reached the table, and he went around quickly, pulling out and pushing in the chairs for each of us. "Would you ladies like to hear the lunch specials?" He wondered, handing each of us an elegant menu complete with a gold tassel marker.

Mina reached forward and took hold of it, shaking her head. "No thank you, James," she replied. "I think we'll just peruse the menu on our own."

"Very good, miss. I will be back in just a moment," he assured us, and stepped lightly away.

"Do you think they have to walk like that?" Lita wondered aloud.

I giggled, but shrugged my shoulders, and reached for my menu. Although I couldn't read half of it, I did recognize something I knew I'd like, and by the time James returned with our waters, we all were ready to order. Lita chose the chicken marsala with porcini mushroom, while I chose the filet mignon in a black truffle sauce. James seemed impressed by our order, but not to be outdone, Mina decided to choose the escargot.

"Are you sure, miss? I wouldn't suggest escargot for someone who is not accustomed to French cuisine. There is a chance you may not like it," James warned. Mina looked slightly ruffled.

"How do you know I'm not accustomed to French cuisine?" She replied haughtily, and James sighed.

"I apologize miss, escargot it is," he replied contritely, and headed off to put in our order.

"You know Mina," I pointed out, "you didn't have to give this huge impressive order. It's just us."

"What do you mean?" she asked innocently. "I've always wanted to try it!"

* * *

An hour later she was eating her words… actually, it was more like vomiting them out over and over again between groans of pain.

"I told you not to eat those snails Mina!" I said, rubbing her back as she gripped the edges of the toilet for support.

"I know, I know you did," she replied weakly.

My dad appeared in the doorway, the frustration evident in his face.

"I talked to the head chef and he assured me the snails were perfectly fresh. He claims her body must not be agreeing with them, but that's food poisoning if I've ever seen it. Either way, unfortunately, there's nothing we can do until it's run it's course…"

In response, a gurgle erupted from Mina's throat and I quickly reached for her hair as she once again buried her head in the bowl.

"Oh Mina…" I murmured sympathetically, rubbing her back gently. "What are we going to do, Dad?" I wondered, glancing back up at him. He shrugged his shoulders and ran a hand through his thick blond hair.

"Well, as much as I don't like it, I have to go tonight. It would look awful to be a no-show to this event, and to be honest, this client will be a valuable asset to our firm," he explained, and I nodded.

"It's okay, Daddy," I assured him. "I'll stay here with Mina tonight, and Lita can be your date."

"No!" Mina suddenly choked. "You _have_ to go Serena!"

"Mina, look at you!" I cried imploringly. "You're sick as a dog! There is no way I'm leaving you here."

"Lita can stay," Mina insisted. "I don't want you to stay here, not after I saw you in that dress."

My eyebrow raised quizzically in response, but Lita chose that moment to step in.

"She's right, Serena. Besides, I would be a lousy date for your dad!" She said with a grin. "No offense Mr. J, but I can't dance to save my life!"

I smiled a little, knowing Lita wasn't exaggerating. She may have been totally awesome on a karate mat, but when it came to shaking her groove thing, she was definitely rhythmically challenged.

"Go, Serena!" Mina commanded. "If you don't I'll be totally pissed at you!"

I laughed, but I could see Mina was totally serious. "C'mon Mina," I insisted. "Be serious! You know I'm not going to have a good time if I know you're stuck in this hotel room barfing your guts out. I want to stay."

"Well I don't want you to!" she whined. "How do you think I would feel sitting here knowing that you're missing a good time because I made a dumb decision. Just go! You were so excited about this…" At this moment she suddenly turned a sick shade of green, and we all winced as her head disappeared again.

"Wow," Lita said flatly. "I didn't know it could be that color."

"Just go, okay Serena?" Mina groaned. "For me?"

I sighed, and finally nodded reluctantly. "All right, Mina. I'll go."

"Well," my dad put in, "if you're going, you better start getting ready now! We have to head down in an hour! Use my bathroom."

I smiled and rose to my feet, giving Mina one last gentle pat on the back as I did so.

"Feel better okay?"

"I will," she assured me. "Now get out of here and get dressed."

I laughed and did as she commanded, immediately grabbing my things and heading for the shower.

* * *

Forty-five minutes later Lita was finishes the last touches of my makeup and hair, which was made difficult by my attempts to slip into my dress at the same time. Mina had finally made it from the bathroom floor to the bed, and was now weakly holding a heating pad to her stomach while she watched me get ready. Despite her condition, she still managed to flash me a feeble smile.

"You look really beautiful," she assured me.

"She'd look even better if she'd hold still!" Lita muttered in annoyance.

I straightened up and began twisting the dress into the correct position, while Lita moved around me and began to zip up the back. I lifted up the skirt to survey the cute, jewel-strapped heels I was wearing. Deciding they looked alright, I reached up to check the diamond earrings glinting from my ears, and once satisfied, I gently grazed the chain of my moon pendant with my fingertips. As Lita finished with the zipper, she stepped around me to take in her handiwork. I saw her eyes widen slightly, and I winced.

"What? What is it?" I asked worriedly.

"You look… incredible," she breathed. She smiled and raised her hand to her mouth. "There isn't a man there who's going to be able to stop looking at you!"

I rolled my eyes and strode swiftly to the bathroom, positive she was exaggerating, but the sight that greeted me in the mirror stopped me in my tracks. I really did look pretty. The dress was gorgeous, but Lita had managed to sweep my short hair into a soft pretty up-do that framed my face perfectly. The jewelry glinted beautifully against my skin, and my makeup accentuated my features, but also gave me the soft glow brides yearn for on their wedding day.

Tears threatened to spill from my eyelids, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me.

"You look gorgeous," Lita assured me, and I nodded in thanks.

"Serena!" I suddenly heard my dad's voice, and I turned as he rounded the corner of the bathroom fiddling with his cufflings. "We really have to…" but his voice trailed off and he paused as he caught sight of me.

"Serena…" he whispered, and tears filled his eyes. I frowned, and took two steps forward.

"Daddy, are you okay?" I asked.

He nodded and shook his head. "It's just, for a second there I thought I was looking at your mother." He smiled at me and proceeded to close the gap between us. In seconds I was in his arms, and I smiled as he kissed my cheek. "You look beautiful honey."

I laughed, and stepped back to take in his tuxedo. "You look pretty handsome yourself," I commented.

He chuckled. "Well thank you, but right now we're late. Mina, Lita, are you sure you girls are going to be okay?"

"We'll be fine Mr. J. Anyway, I have your cell number if anything goes wrong," Lita stated firmly.

"All right," he assented, and gently offered me his arm. "Ready to go?"

I grinned and took it. "Ready as I'll ever be."

* * *

The ballroom doors loomed in front of my dad and I fifteen minutes later, and I couldn't help but gasp as I caught sight of the procession inside. A tiny man stood at the door, and as my father handed him our invitation, he carefully waved us in.

The ballroom was huge, and gaudily decorated in red and gold. A small jazz band was set up on stage, softly playing a Sinatra tune I knew I would remember forever. All around me milled the elite of New York's society, and I could practically smell the Botox and designer brands amongst the caviar and champagne. However, as we made our way in, I was extremely self conscious of the sudden shift in attention as I walked by. Women would turn their heads and study my as if I were some scientific specimen, while the men simply allowed their hungry eyes to survey my small form in an almost predatory manner. I glanced up at my father and saw his eyes harden a bit, and the men, as if suddenly remembering themselves, hastily shifted their gazes away. Needless to say, I did jump as a loud booming voice sounded over the room.

"Johnson! Johnson, over here!"

I turned to see a tall man with very light hair waving at my father. My dad grinned and gently guided me towards the large party. As we reached them, my father reached out and clasped the man's outstretched hand.

"It's good to see you David," My dad said with a smile.

"It's wonderful you could make it!" the man grinned back. He smiled down at me, and I returned the gesture tentatively. "Who is this pretty young lady?" He asked.

"This is my daughter, Serena. Serena, I want you to meet David White. He owns the hospital, and will be my new boss over the next few months," my dad said with a grin, and Mr. White laughed as he shook my hand.

"Don't be silly! Your father is doing my brother-in-law and I a great favor by designing this new wing!" he took a sip of the brandy he held in his hand, and swallowed. "He's a genius!"

"He certainly is!" I agreed proudly.

"Oh Ken, you haven't had a chance to meet my wife!" He stepped back to reveal two tall and pretty dark-haired women that smiled curiously at us. Both looked alike with their jet-black hair, full lips, and startling blue eyes. "This is my wife Julie, and my sister-in-law Rebecca Shields."

My brow furrowed at the name, but my father and I quickly smiled at both, and shook their hands.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Johnson," Julie stated genuinely. She then turned and smiled at me. "You certainly do have a lovely daughter!"

My dad gazed at me with pride, and I lowered my lids as a blush filled my cheeks. "Thank you, but I already know that!" He replied gently, and the women laughed.

"Our sons are around here somewhere," Rebecca spoke suddenly. "Maybe we could get one of them to dance with you this evening!" she said with a grin.

I blushed again, and Julie clucked her tongue reproachfully. "Rebecca!" she chided, and shook her head dismissively. She leaned in and gently took my arm. "She has a terrible addiction to match-making, and although her son is quite a catch, I won't let you fall victim to her skills!" I laughed in response and Rebecca winked at me.

"So where is your husband now, Mrs. Shields?" My father suddenly asked. "I was hoping to meet him tonight."

"He actually headed for the bar a couple of minutes ago, and he should be back with my good-for-nothing son and nephew any second…" She scanned the crowd quickly, and suddenly her eyes widened. "Oh! There they are now!" She cried, pointing toward three tall men heading our way.

My eyes followed her finger, and as they focused on the figures, my mouth fell open. An older, handsome gentleman led the trio. His eyes were dark and lined with thick black lashes that matched the coal-black locks atop his head. He was tall, well-built, and in his face I recognized the handsome features I had learned to love in another. Behind him strode a young man equally handsome, but with opposite coloring. Bringing up the rear was someone I had never expected to see again. Suddenly, everything snapped into place, and I realized why Mina had been so determined for me to attend. I was going to kill her!

I immediately scanned the crowd around me for an escape route, but people were leaving the dance floor and blocking any chance of my getting away unscathed. Rebecca Shields was waving enthusiastically towards her husband, son, and nephew, but all I could do was hope they went the other way. It wasn't until Darien's eyes suddenly met mine that all the blood drained from my face.

_Oh my God._

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Love it? Hate it? Review please! 


	30. Chapter 30

_Wow, this one has been a long time in the making… I know everyone has been waiting for it, and don't worry, this is not the end! I do apologize for the delay, I was in the process of two jobs, school, and major writers block. You know, this chapter was extremely difficult to write, not just because of my busy schedule, but because I've been battling how to end this story and how to make it as realistic and well-written as possible. You see though, that was my problem, because I forgot I was writing a piece of fiction. All the fluff, the angst, and the situation, it's all make-believe. I've realized that although I can incorporate my real life into these stories, I would prefer to save most of my realism for my own stories If that disappoints anyone, I'm sorry. To all of you that have reviewed, thank you so much. You were all an inspiration for me to continue. To those that have criticized, thank you too, for I have taken many of your ideas into account. Enjoy! Last chapter to follow soon!_

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Words can't describe just how much I wanted to sink into the floor and disappear. While my father was busy shaking Mal's hand, Darien's blue eyes burned into mine. I could clearly pick out the thinly veiled anger evident in his face, and as much as I wanted to believe I had toughened my hide a bit, my heart plummeted into my stomach. What the hell was he doing here? 

"Serena?" my father's voice suddenly tore my attention from Darien, and I swallowed hard. "Are you all right?"

I glanced at Darien, who shifted his attention away, and then at Mal, who smiled at me gently. I could only frown in response, but I nodded reluctantly at my dad.

"I want you to meet Mr. White's son, Malcolm, and his nephew Darien," he nodded towards the boys. Mal stepped forward and offered his hand, but I glanced toward Darien, who rolled his eyes. I didn't have to be a mind-reader. I knew he was imagining all the lies I was going to rack up in the next five minutes.

"We-We've actually met," I stammered. Mal looked a little shocked, and Darien raised an eyebrow. I looked up at my dad, who appeared just as surprised. "They go to Madison," I explained, in a slightly bolder tone. My father suddenly paled.

"So you all know each other?" Mrs. Shields asked, smiling.

"Yes, you could say that," I replied tentatively, and Darien scoffed.  
Mrs. Shields glanced at him, confused. However, the smile quickly returned as a bell suddenly sounded from the door, announcing dinner. "Well, we better continue this conversation in the dining hall. We have a reserved table inside."

"Perfect! I'm starving!" Mr. White exclaimed, and began leading the procession into the dining hall. Everyone followed, and my heart skipped a beat as Darien brushed by me without a second glance. Malcolm fell back, and I followed him quickly, throwing my father a look that clearly told him I wanted to leave as soon as possible.

Mal turned to me guiltily when I caught up to him. "I know, I know, you're totally pissed!" He soothed, putting his hands up as if to shield himself from the daggers coming out of my eyes.

"Pissed?" I hissed. "Not exactly Mal! Humiliated? Petrified? Enraged? Yeah, I think those cover it a bit more! How could you and Mina do this to me? And tonight of all nights!"

"Serena, don't be mad! I swear we didn't even know until a few days ago. I asked her about her plans for Christmas, and she told me, and we just sort of figured it out…" He explained.

"And you weren't going to tell me? How could you do this? I think we've both had enough surprises!" I protested shrilly, and I winced as a few people glanced over at us curiously.

"Look, he needed to see you, and you needed to see him. It's all very… necessary. If you knew, you never would have come, and neither would he. Trust me," he pleaded.

"Mal, I can't even breathe right now! All he's going to do is ignore me all night, and I'm going to go home and try to forget about it. I hate you both so much right now," I murmured despairingly, pushing past him. "Thanks a lot."

I could feel Mal's remorseful looks on my back as I stalked into the dining room and took my place next to my father. Unsurprisingly, Darien was seated right across from me, but I refused to look at him. My father shot me a questioning glance, but I shook my head and reached for my napkin.

"Are you okay?" he whispered, and I shook my head as tears threatened to well in my lids.

"I'll be fine when this night is over," I answered, taking a sip from my water-glass. For a moment my eyes met Darien's, but he looked away hastily.

"So, Serena…" Mrs. Shields suddenly piped up, and I raised looked up to see her smiling at me. "You attend Madison?"

I swallowed hard. "I did," I answered tentatively.

"Did?" she wondered. "Are you not there anymore?"

"No," I replied, reddening a little. "I was only there for this semester."

"Really? Did you not like it?" She asked, looking slightly surprised.

"No!" I quickly interjected, and Darien raised his head. "I loved it," I murmured. "I was just…"

"Homesick," Mal broke in. "We all loved Sere, but she was always thinking about home. She's a twin, you know!"

"Really Serena? You're a twin?" Mrs. White inquired brightly. I nodded.

"Yes, I have a sister named Mina. She's actually a few floors above us. Bad bout with food poisoning…" I answered before I could stop myself.

Unsurprisingly, a few people at the table glanced down suspiciously at the plates of food before them.

"Hopefully she didn't have the chicken?" Mr. White wondered, glancing at me expectantly.

"Actually it was the escargot," I assured him, and couldn't help but smile as Mrs. White quickly flagged down a waiter. I could only guess it was to change her order.

"So you knew the boys then?" Mrs. Shields inquired.

My smile suddenly felt extremely tight. "Yes," I answered quickly. "I did know them."

"How strange! I would have thought Darien would have told me about such a beautiful and charming young lady…"

At the mention of his name, Darien suddenly choked on the spoonful of soup he had been placing in his mouth, and my blush deepened. He coughed roughly, and after glancing at me with disinterest, he shrugged his shoulders.

"Must've slipped my mind," he murmured sarcastically.

"I don't know," his mother interjected. "I do remember you mentioning a young lady a few months ago, but I don't remember you saying she attended your school."

"I didn't," he replied coldly. He looked at me, and I was forced to look away. "It was a different girl."

I felt the blood drain from my face at his icy reply, but my heart warmed a little as my father reached down to grip my hand. He leveled Darien with a somewhat threatening stare, and for a moment, Darien looked almost ashamed of himself.

Mrs. Shields, however, continued on, unfazed. "Well now that you are no longer attending Madison, what are your plans for the future?"

"I still intend to go to college," I assured her. "I'm just not using Madison as a means to get in!"

"Brave girl!" Mr. Shields joked with a wink.

Mrs. Shields ignored her husband. "Which schools are you planning to apply to?"

"Well, New York University is my first choice, but if it doesn't work out there are some wonderful instate schools I would be more than happy to attend…" I put in tentatively.

"And your major would be?" She wondered.

"Journalism," I answered without hesitation. "I've always wanted to write."

"Very interesting," she remarked, yet there was something in her tone that made me frown. "Darien used to talk of attending NYU in the past… Of course his father and I never approved. Harvard is far more illustrious school when concerning pre-med students, but I'm sure NYU will be more than sufficient for your studies."

A vibrant blush suddenly stained Darien's cheeks, and for a moment I realized just how much pressure his parents must place on him in regards to his future. No wonder he didn't have the guts to share his love of photography with them.

"Well, Serena," Mrs. Shields began, and I was once again forced to divert my attention from her son's dismal features. "How will your boyfriend handle you living so far away when school starts?"

It was now my turn to blush. "I-I don't have a boyfriend," I murmured. "So I don't think I'll have much to worry about there."

"No boyfriend?" she repeated with a smile. "Well then you must dance with one of the boys after dinner! Darien," she called gently down the table, and I saw Darien visibly stiffen. "After dinner you must take little Serena out for a turn on the dance floor!" She focused her attention back to me, and leaned in as if sharing a deep secret. "He's a wonderful dancer!" she whispered loudly.

"Yes, mother," was Darien's short reply, and as her smile widened, I caught sight of her husband unobtrusively rolling his eyes.

I half expected Mrs. Shields to ask me if I danced, however much to my relief she seemed finished with her inquisition, and as the courses continued, I began to tune out the varying forms of conversation around me. Every now and again I would allow my gaze to lift in Darien's direction, and on more than one occasion I found him staring quite obviously back at me. Any other girl probably would have found this attention flattering, but I knew Darien better, and that coldness behind his blue eyes was anything but flirtatious.

So it was that I finished the dinner mostly in silence. I managed to mention how delicious I found the meal (when in reality I had barely tasted it), and (when asked) I informed Mrs. White where I had purchased my dress. All in all, it was fairly uneventful, but I couldn't hide my relief when my father gently pulled me aside as we were leaving the table.

"I know this must be extremely difficult for you, and although I have only a small idea of what is going on, I have every intention of getting us out of here as soon as possible," he said gently.

"It's okay," I assured him wearily. "This was your dinner before it ever became my drama fest. Mina should have known better, and I don't think your business should suffer over this."

"I suffer when you suffer, my dear," my father murmured with a smile, placing a gentle finger under my chin. I managed a small smile. "We'll leave at the first opportunity."

"Thanks dad," I whispered, and he nodded.

We turned and began heading towards the doors leading back into the ballroom, but our progress was quickly hindered by traffic. People milled around us, and in seconds I lost sight of my father. I stopped for a moment, and struggled to find his face among all the suits and ladies. I groaned inwardly realizing it was going to be nearly impossible to find him in the ballroom, let alone the rest of our party.

"Shit," I muttered. "What am I going to do now?"

I jumped as someone suddenly grabbed my wrist and turned only to see Darien staring down at me grimly.

"The music started again. My mother wants me to dance with you," he muttered.

I glanced over at his shoulders and saw Mrs. Shields waving at me enthusiastically. My father was at her side looking a little worried. I turned my gaze back to Darien, and nodded in compliance, allowing him to lead me to the dance floor. I couldn't help but shiver slightly as he placed his arms around me and the smell of roses and spices invaded my nostrils. I inhaled deeply without thinking, remembering that day in the diner, but Darien didn't seem to notice.

"What are you doing here, Serena?" he said finally.

"I'm here with my father," I answered without looking up. "This is his big night"  
"You didn't have other motivations?" he wondered.

"No," I returned. "I never expected to see you again."

He chuckled derisively and gently pushed me back for a turn. "Somehow with all your calculating I highly doubt that," he sneered.

My eyes narrowed, and as I spun back into him I allowed my elbow to connect sharply with his ribcage. He grunted and winced in pain.

"Oh I'm sorry!" I apologized, my tone dripping with feigned sympathy. "I must have _miscalculated_ just how far away you were!"

His lips pressed into a thin white line, but my expression remained defiant. "You're a trip, you know that?" He managed to gritted teeth, releasing me.

"A _trip_ huh?" I returned sarcastically at his retreating back. "It's nice to see your vocabulary has improved where your etiquette fell short!"

He turned around, and raised an eyebrow. "Well, what do you expect? Do you want me to be all phony and polite like Mal and my mother? You've got to be kidding!" The venom in those simple words brought the beginnings of hot tears to my eyes, but I blinked them back.

"I don't know what I expected," I retorted hotly, only vaguely aware of the couples surrounding us. "Civility? Basic manners? I know forgiveness and friendship seem to be completely out of the question!"

He laughed bitterly. "I think you ruined any chances of that when you lied to me for four months," he snapped, starting away again.

I stopped and tore at his shoulder, turning him towards me so quickly he uttered a startled cry. "And I think you need to think up a better excuse for being so awful to me!" I whispered fiercely. "Yes, I lied to you, but I loved you every minute I did it! I've apologized to you, I've suffered without you, and I've had to restart my life from scratch now that it's all over. I made my peace knowing our friendship is something you'll never want again, and these last hours in your presence have absolutely killed me! I'm really sorry for any pain I may have caused you, but there is nothing more I can lay at your feet. I didn't know you were going to be here. If I would have, I never would have come. You can hate me all you want, but I'll be damned if you ruin my father's night over something _I_ did!"

The fury flowing through my veins was almost too much for me to bear. Darien gazed at me with a similar expression, but for the first time I saw a spark of contrition in his handsome features.

"Grow up, Darien," I spat, and the tears that threatened did fall. "There are worse things to hate someone for!"

I turned and fled, not caring where I was going, and nearly ran over Malcolm who had come to see what was keeping the two of us.

"Tell my father I went back to the room," I cried as I pushed past him.

"Serena!" he called out to me, but I ignored him and continued on until I reached the door and entered the main hallway.

I tried in vain to pull myself together as I crossed the lobby, but my tear-streaked face received more than one curious look. I started towards the elevator, but changed my mind and headed for the doors that led outside. A blast of icy air washed over my still-wet cheeks, and I gasped as it instantly chilled my red-hot skin. I gulped in the night air greedily, fueling the sobs already rising in my throat. Within minutes, the tears stopped. A few moments after that, my shoulders stopped shaking with rage and only continued because of the cold. I wrapped my arms around myself, but refused to return indoors. The evening was frigid, but it was helping to clear my mind and strengthen my resolve. Darien and I were truly over. The boy I had fallen in love with was gone. Maybe he had never existed in the first place.

I let loose a bitter sigh, and watched the vapor from my mouth rise towards the gathering clouds above. A cold, feathery substance suddenly brushed my cheek, and a small smile came to my lips as I realized it had began to snow. Snowflakes fell into my open palms, grazed my bare shoulders, and even caught in the small curls framing my face. I felt a chuckle rising in my throat, but it was silenced as a warm fabric was suddenly draped around my shoulders. I whirled to find Darien standing there, jacketless and devastatingly handsome in the snow.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. Tears I thought had finally dried up began to flow freely again.

"I've hated myself ever since I left Madison," I sobbed. "I never meant to hurt you," I covered my face with my hands.

Warm fingers suddenly took hold of my own, and I desperately tried to look away as my hands were pulled away. Darien peered down at me, but my eyes remained glued to the awning above. He wiped away my tears tenderly, and I sniffled, feeling like a stupid kid.

"I know," he murmured. "I've just been so stubborn, and so confused. You have to admit, it was a lot to handle."

"I said I was sorry!" I choked out, suddenly ready to argue, but couldn't manage anything else as I was lost in his eyes. His face was suddenly close, so impossibly close… it was just like that night in the clearing… "What are you doing?" I managed, but I already knew.

"You were right Serena. There are worse things to hate someone for," he smiled kindly at me. "Let's try this again," he whispered, and before I could say anything else, his arms were around me, and his soft lips were gently warming my own.

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_Still more to come! Review please!_


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